


The Gilded Cages They Call Heat Rooms

by Teakany



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Dark, Dystopia, Human Trafficking, I haven't tagged happy, M/M, Medical Procedures, Mpreg, child birth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-04-09 14:55:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 31
Words: 92,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4353239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teakany/pseuds/Teakany
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As a nation, it is our responsibility to preserve the Omega race. We must strive to correct the mistakes of our past and ensure the future of us all. For this we will work to bring new Omega into this world without an expense spared. They shall no longer be seen as burdens on a family, but as a shining tribute to what we can manage to recover from the rubble that we as a people have created. With this in mind, all citizens shall be required at the age of eight to be presented for testing to determine if they hold this truly special orientation. Anyone found harboring a child over the age of eight who has not been tested shall be punished. The laws for their protection may seem strict, but they are also necessary. With hard work and diligence we shall succeed in restoring the natural order. </p><p>President Roma XII</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea how the updating for this one will go yet. Right now i wanted to gauge interest in the idea of a more twisted and dark Omega verse, so tell me if you think it should be continued!

Matthew was shaking. September second had finally come around and this was a nerve-wracking day. An important one… but still nerve wracking. 

At only eight years old, he sat in a room surrounded by other children his age. Some, like him, seemed to be on edge. Others chatted excitedly, ready to find out what was to become of their future.

Matthew had been obsessing over this day, counting it down on the calendar. “This is the day I’m going to officially be a Beta!” He declared when his Papa had asked coming in to see the small child viciously circling the date in purple marker. 

When an Alpha is born it’s apparent fairly quickly, an easily visible knotting glad developing within the first year of life. However, when a child does not develop this gland it is made obvious that they are a Beta, or more ideally, an Omega. 

Omega’s were rare. Treasured and protected, coveted and precious in the same way a jewel is. If you are found to be an Omega, you are seen as little more than property. A prize to be bought and sold. To be locked away and used. 

That wasn’t the tagline, of course, but anyone could see through the pictures or movies with Omega’s being showered in love and caring, and into the reality of it. 

Sure, Omega’s did tend to live very pampered lives, not needing to worry about work, bills, or chores; but they lived in gilded cages. They were not free to do anything that wasn't pre-approved and once they hit legal age, they were bred whether they wanted it or not. 

One reason Omegas are so prized is the ease of pregnancy. Betas are able to carry young, but it’s usually very hard for them, sometimes taking years only to lose the child within the first five months. A pregnant Omega how ever rarely lost children. They were easily impregnated and were known for birthing multiples. This made them not only valuable but necessary.

Omegas hadn’t always been so close to extinction as they were now. At one point the three different classes had been fairly evenly spread. It wasn’t until about two hundred years ago that their numbers started to dwindle. It wasn’t even like it was a natural decline. It had been the result of Alphas not wanting Omegas, pushing to have all Alphas. A lot of babies who never developed the knotting gland were left to starve if not outright killed. If they made it to the point where they would exhibit their status, and that was found to be Omega, they were seen as a burden. There was no power for the family to have an Omega... That was power given to another family. 

It had taken far too long for their race to notice.

When it had become glaringly obvious the government stepped in. All Omegas were protected by law. Harsh punishments came to anyone who caused harm to one, and to kill an Omega? Even by accident, you were guaranteed a slow and painful death... 

There weren’t only laws protecting Omegas, however, there were also laws restricting them. If an omega were to put itself in harm's way, it would be considered a risk and there was a good chance it would find itself in a “Safe Haven”. These were basically houses where an Omega would stay to be kept safe, they’re parents deemed unfit to protect such a rarity. 

Once they were securely in these institutions, some caring citizen would come along, boasting enough security and stability, and claimed them. They would pay a sum to the family and the government, then have a hand in what the Omega learned at the haven before they got to take them home at the age of eighteen.

They would be monitored, taught essentials and hobbies to waste time in their final placements. Their diets and exercise would be strict with frequent check-ups. Some would have special procedures or training depending on what the family buying them wanted. 

Most were also doted on, receiving visits and presents from their… Well, lets call a spade a spade, their owners. 

Children of course weren’t always taken by force. A lot were outright sold to these houses. It wasn’t uncommon or frowned upon in the least, if anything it was encouraged. Omegas were expensive with all the extra needs of nutrition and safety. There weren’t many lower or middle class families that could afford them, and the money you got for selling one? Well… It was substantial, especially if they were still young and therefore easy to train.

Once they did reach legal age and were bought, they were required to be bred. Omega’s usually were born to Omegas, so they were ‘encouraged’ to keep having children until their bodies could no longer handle it. At that point, if they had a good ‘family’ they would live out their days in comfort. If they didn’t, it was either the streets, or retirement homes. Neither option any better than the other.

It should go without saying, today Matthew was hoping he would be told he was a Beta. He could still go to school with the other children, have a job, fall in love…Be normal. He was lost in thoughts of both possibilities, as much as someone so small could be, when He suddenly tensed. A voice rang out once more through the room “Matthew Bonnefoy” Stiffly, but obediently Matthew stood and crossed the room. 

He was ushered into the examination area maybe a bit too hastily. He caught site of a girl crying as she was swept through a side door. 

An Omega… If you were Beta, you went back out into that room and waited to be let back out to your parents. If you were Omega, you were instantly put into a protective area so you could be transported more securely. 

“Right over here Matthew,” said the nurse sweetly as she motioned to an examination table that was just finished getting wiped down. Matthew took a deep breath before walking to it. The nurse reached forward and eased off the house coat he was wearing for modesty. Underneath was a simple backless paper gown. 

She helped him up to sit on the tall examine table gently, “On your knees with your chest against the rest please” she said sweetly as she adjusted the back, allowing a padded bar to come up for Matthew to lean against and hold onto. 

“I-is it gonna hurt?” He asked nervously eyeing the bed. Really, as it had been described by older kids in school It didn’t exactly sound... Comfortable.

The nurse smiled apologetically. “It’ll just be a little pressure. The doctor will be very quick sweetie, and I’ll be right here okay?” 

Matthew took a deep breath and nodded, tears still gathering in anxiety. He turned to the table and got into the indicated position, closing his eyes and trying to block everything during the exam out. 

To find out if you were an Omega was simple really. Once you hit eight you were guaranteed to have developed a slicking gland if you were. If there was no gland found, you were Beta. Basically, the longer and more uncomfortable the probing fingers were there the better. They had to be sure the gland wasn’t hiding after all... 

Matthew’s exam, unfortunately, was quick. He barely had time to let out a whimper of discomfort as the doctor searched with an intrusive finger before he pulled his hand away. “Definitely Omega,” He said dryly, the snap of rubber gloves being removed echoing in Matthew's ears.

His stomach dropped and he whimpered. 

“Hey, it’s okay honey. Up you get…” The nurse was urging him to move. Matthew did so shakily, allowing her to lift him down.

He turned to the doctor “Y-you're sure?” Matthew squeaked as he let the nurse help him put the house coat back on. 

The doctor sighed apparently not enjoying this particular day of the year… “Yes. In fact, yours is the biggest gland of the day so far, however, we are only into the M’s… “ 

Matthews eyes shot open and his face burned. His hands went to hide his embarrassment. The nurse put an arm around the small Omegas shoulders as she urged him towards the door he’d seen the crying girl go into, “Now now Matthew… That’s nothing to be ashamed of! It’s completely natural!” she nurse cooed soothingly “Besides, most Alphas will find that an attractive trait. It could help you land yourself in an ideal placement!” Matthew nodded numbly. He knew the Beta nurse was only trying to make him feel better… However, That was the last thing Matthew wanted to hear. 

-

Matthew was curled up in a corner of the well lit room. Currently there were four other Omega’s in the space. They ranged in size and shape. A tall blonde paced the room back and forth, running hands through his hair every few minutes muttering to himself . The girl he’d seen go in before him, a small blonde, sat similarly to him, curled in on herself and staring blankly at the floor. there were a set of twins snuggled up with each other against the wall. One was shaking violently and crying, while the other glared off at nothing.. 

He had been the last one in. They had been there for a while and he was starting to wonder if anyone else would be as unlucky as they were when the door opened once more. A small, but loud black haired Omega was guided in 

“Don’t touch me so roughly! I have you all charged! I bruise easily aru!” 

The doctor followed him in, on his heels was an obvious alpha. He was wearing a suit, blonde hair slicked back harshly. His piercing blue eyes looked over the room at the six Omegas sitting there. “That’s all? Out of eighty children, only six were Omega?”

“I’m afraid so.” said the dark-haired doctor looking over the chart. He sounded rather bored with this whole ordeal. 

“I suppose we’ll just have to hope the other centers brought in more. What are the names?” The harsh looking man turned to the children. “Raise your hand when you hear yours!” 

The doctor didn’t look up.”Berwald Oxnard” The pacing Omega, who had halted raised his hand.

”Erika Vogel” The tiny girl raised her hand. 

“ Feliciano Vargas” One of the twins lifted a shaking hand next. 

“ Lovino Vargas” The other twin. 

“Matthew bonnefoy” Matthew Raised his hand shakily, dropping his head down as he curled closer in on himself.

“ yoa Wang ” The huffy black haired Omega raised one hand, his house coat far too long, hiding his hands. 

“Well… Send one of the nurses to collect their parents and give them the good news”

Matthew sobbed loudly at the statement. Good news… Matthew's father had been dreading this. Hoping and praying his oldest would be told he was Beta, just take him home and not have to worry about the looming decision of what to do with his son, try and keep him or sell him off now so he had a better chance. 

Matthew could already Imagine Papa's face as his name was read off the short list of Omegas in the waiting room full of parents…  
\------

Matthew had predicted correctly. When Francis has come to the back entrance to collect his son, the red, swollen eyes and the barely contained tears were a dead give away 

The small family, including his younger, Alpha sister Michelle sat together that night in their living room curled on the couch. Tears coursed down their faces as his two family members held him tight. 

Matthew wish for his mother for the first time in years.

His mother had been beautiful. Matthew was her spitting image according to his father. She had been a Beta, and they had tried very hard to conceive him. After four long years of using every avenue Matthew had arrived, healthy and whole. The pair had decided four years later, after giving up on trying for a second of their own, to adopt little Michelle. Sadly only two months after bouncy little fourteen month old girl had joined their household, there had been an accident. They’re mother being taken from them. 

His heart ached and he nuzzled further into his father's shirt, his pain and fear spilling out of his eyes as he prepared himself for the possibility of losing another parent.

\---

The following weeks would change Matthew’s life dramatically.

his father announced upon arriving home, he would take a week to make the painful decision. During this time, Matthew would return to school in an Omega class room. There would be twenty of them in his age class, They had different schedules from the Alphas and the Betas so they would be kept safe from the rough housing set. Seeing no point in teaching Omegas things like math or science, the class would spend its days painting or learning music. Simple things to keep them amused and safe. It was more like daycare then school now. 

Even his family had changed over the hours and days following. When he was at home his every move was now watched. Careful not to bump into him, checking how he was feeling every few minutes… It was distressing and irritating

“Don’t treat me like I’m glass!” he shouted over dinner on the second day of their hovering, as he noticed all his food cut up like a three-year-old's. “I’m not going to hurt myself eating!” 

“Matthew…” His papa started, a sad look on his face.

“Non! I don’t want to hear it!” He stormed out of the dining room with tears in his eyes, dinner untouched, as he headed into his bedroom. 

The bedroom that was now devoid of anything he could hurt himself on. 

He hated them… He hated them all. He hated Alphas for running his orientation into the ground and then having the nerve to treat them this way… He hated Betas for being able to live normal lives and not being stuck like him. He hated Papa for treating him just like the rest of them, but most of all he hated himself for being born an Omega. 

That night Matthew sat in his room crying into his knees, refusing to eat, refusing to talk. 

They could force him to spend his life in a cage… But they couldn’t force him to be happy about it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm editing the first chapter just a bit at the ending because with the help of a friend (who looked over my scrapped version of this chapter) I decided it really needed to be a bit more dragged out. not so rushed. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this!

Matthew sat on the school bus shaking. It was the first day in the Omega specific school and Matthew was nervous. There were so many of them on this bus. the majority were young like him. a few scattered teenagers who had made it this long without being taken. 

Matthew's eyes were currently locked on a set of teenagers sitting next to one another. They were chatting quietly, a peaceful smile on each face. In fact… The older the child, the happier they seemed… Maybe this Omega thing got easier? 

Or maybe you just learned to live with it. 

The bus pulled up in front of the gates, a security guard opening them and allowing the driver to pull in. He stopped at the doors and the children started filing out. 

Matthew went and stood by a clearly marked eight on the wall as he had been instructed to do. They were split into ages though the older ones started to get mashed together around twelve, not enough students to warrant an entire class. There was only one seventeen-year-old.

Students were sorted and taken down the hallway into their classrooms. Matthew looked around his as he entered. It looked like a kindergarten room. There were no desks, only a large carpet for them to sit on while the teacher spoke. One wall was lined with easels, another with books, another with cubbies full of instruments. there were a few tables that held art supplies, a large double sided shelf full of yarn and large (very dull) knitting needles and crochet hooks. He wasn't sure he liked it very much...

“If everyone could gather round, please!” Called out the teacher. The flock of nervous eight-year-olds moved to him finding spots on the carpet. 

Matthew sat back on the carpet next to one of the other children from his testing group. The rather large blonde Omega looked on seriously. On his other side was a girl he had seen once or twice in his old school. Most the Omega in the room were new faces, Their scant numbers meant most were transferred from other school districts to this one, Matthew himself had traded a five minute walk to school for a twenty minute bus ride. 

“All right! Welcome everyone! Today is the first day of your new lives and I know that it all must be very scary, but it’s also exciting!” Matthew looked around at the other faces, excitement didn’t seem to be a common theme… “Now, we’re going to be following a schedule everyday, It won’t vary much, so you won’t have to worry too much about changes.” The teacher moved to the board behind him, grabbing a marker and writing as he spoke. 

He explained that first thing in the morning they would be taking basic lessons, teaching them things about their bodies as Omegas. Nothing too extensive of course, but plenty of nutrition and health lectures. After that was snack time, then Music. After music, it was lunch. Then a free hobby class (they could read, knit, learn other crafts) and finally Art. They would be working with pencils first, but later would be trying painting, and sculpting. 

“In later years you’ll be able to pick a couple of skills you want to focus on, but this year is all about exploring and getting a feel for what you’re good at. Just remember to have fun.” He drew a separate box on the other side of the board and continued. “Every Friday we’ll have a doctor coming in to do your check ups. Monitor your growth, answer any questions you don’t feel comfortable asking in front of the class..” He turned back around with a smile “Any questions?”

There were none. 

Morning lessons were uncomfortable and by far Matthews least favourite. Charts that showed how their bodies were built, labeled reproductive organs sat in different pastel colours on the poster. He turned particularly red when the slicking gland was pointed out, the comment about his own echoing in his head. He pulled his knees up, one arm sitting across them for him to bury his face against. 

“You okay?” 

Matthew looked towards the voice. The large blonde Omega named Berwald (The class now had name tags stuck to their fronts to help get to know each other) had been the one to speak. His gaze was kind of uncomfortable, like he was glaring. But somehow, even in the flat tone Matthew had heard some form of concern. Matthew shrugged unable to say much and he looked away. 

Matthew jumped as a hand closed around his. He looked back up at Berwald, who was staring at him with what he assumed was a smile and an eyebrow raised. Matthew returned a shy smile and clasp his hand around his new found friend accepting the comfort and support it offered. 

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad… At least if he had friends, maybe he could even enjoy school and forget about his future for a while. 

-

Matthew got home that day and kicked off his shoes. He walked into the house just like he would any other day after school, though he knew it wasn’t. The weekend between testing and school had been particularly rough. Matthew spent only a day of it in his room being angry, but he couldn’t stay that way. He was fairly quick to forgive… Maybe it should have been a sign he thought glumly. The rest was spent watching the slow panicking spiral his father was slipping into

Papa had been a complete mess since that day. Matthew knew the decision he had to make… Before testing had started there had been information meetings for the parents, Kids went along and were ushered into a separate room. It was explained that it was a hard choice ahead if they were Omega, The speaker going over pros and cons (well.. mostly pros) of havens, pointing out that it was proven to produce happier, healthier Omegas. The speech had been concluded with the fact that if you were Omega, you’d need to learn to accept whatever your parents decided for you. 

Matthew had sat through the whole thing with his little sister on his lap, Papa hadn’t been able to find a babysitter and since she was still only five, it was acceptable that she was there. “Is Papa going to send you away Matthew?” She had asked after the talk was over. 

Matthew had smiled down at her and gave her a hug, “No, I’m going to be a Beta, so we won’t have to worry about it so much alright?” 

Michelle had nodded and they wandered off to grab snacks with all the other kids while their parents finished up. 

His sister hadn’t smiled since they got the news. Not when Matthew was around anyway. Maybe when she was at school she did. He hoped so. “Hey Shelly” he said moving into the living room where she sat “where’s Papa?” 

“in his office again…” she said sounding a bit down. So he would be crying again? Or was he just going over numbers... Keeping an Omega was expensive. Extra bills for specific nutrition, a heat room that would need to be installed, security systems for the house. They were barely living as middle class now... 

Matthew sighed, moving to sit next to his baby sister. 

The baby sister society already saw as a protector… 

He didn’t care what society thought, he wrapped his arms around Michelle and pulled her into his lap. “It’s all gonna be okay, so smile for me alright?” Omega or not, she needed his protection more than he needed hers, even if it was only emotional. 

She turned her big brown eyes to look at him very seriously “You promise?” 

“I promise. No matter what happens everything is gonna be fine” He couldn’t really say that was true… But even if he was put into a haven, he’d at least make her believe it was… and that was a promise he made to himself. 

It was all worth it when she flashed him a small smile. He hugged her tightly and silently thanked every deity he could think of that she was an Alpha. 

-

That week Papa had set out to make his decision was agonizing… The children having to watch as their father all but pulled his hair out. skipping meals, looking up information, crying and hugging Matthew every chance he got. 

But it was Friday and that night when he got home, The choice would be made. 

Matthew assumed today would be spent as a bundle of nerve, but he was shocked to feel a calm spread over him. He would find out one way or another today, he knew both outcomes and there was nothing he could do about it. So instead he focused his nerves on the fact that it was Friday. 

“Matthew Bonnefoy!” came the voice. He sighed, putting down the flute he had been trying to get a sound out of and stood. He hesitated for a moment, but there was a sudden, silent and quick squeeze to his hand. He looked at Berwald who had been looking over a clarinet and gave a small smile and a nod that he was okay at the hard to pick up look of concern. 

Over the week he had spent almost every class next to the tall boy. They were both fairly quiet individuals, and it was comfortable. They didn’t need to fill silence, yet both seemed to draw comfort from the closeness. Most of the other Omegas in class seemed to be afraid of Berwald’s intense gazes and intimidating size… But Matthew had learn to pick up on the small cues and differences. He was just happy to have a friend who could help calm him.

Matthew let his friends hand go and turned walking towards the smiling nurse. “It’s your turn for check up!” She said happily and took his hand. He only nodded in silence as they walked down the hall. 

The medical room was immaculate. White walls almost blinding with the harsh lights. Matthew stared at the wall in discomfort as he was poked and prodded. His hips measured and recorded so they could track the growth of his fat pads, though they could take until fourteen to really develop. His height and weight were taken, the doctor murmuring a “very good” or “right on track” as he went. 

The worst part of the experience was having his skin examined. All Omegas were checked once weekly, every inch of their skin scanned, looking for bruises or cuts. Any sign of mistreatment or accidents. 

Matthew was, of course, clean. But his few child hood scars were photographed for future reference. 

-

The end of the day drew near, and the nerves he thought he had escaped about Papa’s decision crept back in. 

He hadn’t told anyone he might not be back on Monday… now he was debating it. Should he tell Berwald? What about the other kids he had become friendly with? Lovi and Feli? Kat? Any of them? Or would it be better just to let it go if it happened… Not to worry them. Most of them probably wouldn’t even care… 

His thoughts were cut short as a tone rang over the speakers. Matthew stood with all the other Omegas, hand going over his heart automatically. Just as it had every day at three o’clock since he started school. 

a hollow feeling took over him as they recited the words of the degree like a prayer. When it was only a concept, when he could pretend it didn't pertain to him, it was easy. Now the words stuck in his throat… Today was yet another day where he would be harshly reminded he was different, a shining example. It was all down to whether his father could figure out a way to keep his treasure at home, or whether Matthew would be tucked away in a human bank… 

He could say he was fine with whatever they had planned. He could wear a mask of acceptance at the decision that would be made today. But deep down he knew it was all a cover so he didn’t have to admit how much this terrified him. 

“With hard work and diligence we shall succeed in restoring the natural order…” He whispered in finishing. 

His eyes skirted to his friends. He wouldn’t tell them. They all had the same struggles… Putting his worry on them wouldn’t be fair. 

On the bus to his first day, when he's seen the happy teenagers... He wasn't so sure he could believe their laughter anymore. Maybe they all wore masks, Maybe pretending was just the way you survived now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woooow this thing has gotten a lot of attention o.o thank you for all the subscriptions and kudos and such. Y'all are makin me nervous! XD 
> 
> anyway FINALLY new chapter!

Matthew felt like he was going to throw up as the bus pulled up in front of his house. The calm he had experienced through the day was abandoned now that he was right there. would Papa tell him quickly? or would it be dragged out with him having to wait until Michelle went to bed? 

He climbed the stairs of the bus and got off, walking up towards the house. taking a deep breath, he opened the door and went in “Papa? Michelle? I’m home” he called. He was greeted by silence. 

A frown fell across his face as he took off his shoes and walked into the living room. “Papa?” He was home alone… this wasn’t good. If someone found out...

Just then the door opened behind him and he almost jumped out of his skin. A kidnapper? A murderer? Haven representatives?! 

Papa’s face appeared around the corner, smiling in apology. “Matthew, I’m sorry cher, I was just dropping Michelle off at the neighbors so we could talk.” His posture seemed easier than it had in days. He still looked tired, but it wasn’t a conflicted torment.

“Ok Papa,” Matthew said unable to hide the edge of nerves from his voice as he sat on the couch and waited to find out his fate. 

Papa sat on the chair facing him His elbows resting on his knees and his hands clasped in front of his lips. Matthew watched, waiting as his Papa looked him over carefully. 

“I want to know…” He said carefully, “What you want Matthew.”

“I wanna say here!” Matthew said hurriedly then blushed as Papa raised his eyebrows, “I… I’m scared of being away from home…”

Francis’s nodded and lowered his hands, “You know you’ll have to follow very strict rule, there’s a lot less you can do here.” 

“I promise Papa, I won’t even complain! I won’t go outside without an adult, I’ll go to bed the same time as Michelle, I’ll eat all my food and I’ll study really hard!” He blurted out, tripping over words here and there in haste. 

“Alright Matthew, We’ll keep you at home for as long as we can… but you have to help with that oui? I can’t stop them If you do something dangerous.” Papa cautioned seriously. 

Matthew nodded and started crying in relief as he felt his Papa’s arms around him, holding him tightly. 

-

Monday came, and Matthew was back in school. His smile had been bright and shining, happy to just still be there. It didn’t drop until class started. Berwald wasn’t there… In fact their class size had shrunk by about five students. 

First morning class was skipped and extra staff brought in, the first large cut of Omega students causing several of the remaining ones to break down either in fear, or sadness. Matthew didn’t want a beta to comfort him… He didn’t want some stupid Alpha releasing pheromones that were meant to ease his anxieties. He wanted his friend to hold his hand… 

And what about Berwald?! Would any Omega give him a chance for a friend?! would they look past the intimidating looks he gave without meaning to? There was no way to tell if he would ever know the answers… 

-

Each school day dragged for Matthew. The small side building only slightly more bearable than home life currently was. He had been keeping his promise for the past four months, and Papa had been enforcing them to the smallest detail from the books, Seven-thirty bedtime, four to six servings of fruit and vegetables, nasty vitamins, no playgrounds or bikes or sports… He had been harshly scolded for running down the stairs and had TV privileges revoked for god's sake!

School was only better as he had other Omegas to suffer with, though the numbers kept dropping. every once in a while he’d come in and another Omega would have done something to get them sent away. It was quickly learned not to get too close to anyone… which was hard because everything they did was so repetitive and mind numbingly boring after the first month. 

Apparently he wasn’t the only one who felt a little put off by it. In fact, a lot of the Omegas seemed to be along the spectrum of angry down to depressed and over to completely terrified with all the changes. Matthew kept sliding along the scale, but today he was decidedly hopeless feeling. 

“This is so damn boring” Snapped Lovino after his fourth straight afternoon in front of an easel. He just wasn’t getting the hang of the whole painting thing as fast as his brother and was (extra) irritable because of it. He had managed to stay on the angry side of things from day one. “ If I have to do this everyday for the rest of my life I’m gonna lose my damn mind.”

“It could be worse” Mumbled Matthew miserably beside him with a frown as he added a leaf to the crude flower in front of him. 

“Oh and how’s that idiota?” The green eyed boy rounded on Matthew. 

Matthew was about to open his mouth to admit he didn’t know, when Feliciano’s almost numb voice interjected, “At least they aren’t killing us anymore…” A word more then the statement struck Matthew. 

They of course learned about how Omegas use to be treated. Teaching them young so the past couldn’t repeat itself. But the part that had his brow furrowed in thought was the word ‘Us’... Omegas were now ‘Us’ not another ‘they’. 

Matthew shook the thought as he heard a soft sniffle, he leaned around the angry brunette to look at the normally cheery Feli, tears gathered in the corner of his eyes, though he never took them off the canvas in front of him. 

Lovino’s anger diminished a degree and he sighed grumbling “yeah, whatever I guess” 

three months ago, Matthew would have moved to comfort the other boy… but now he knew it was pointless. One day they all would be in separate heat rooms and no one was going to hug them while they sat and cried then. They may as well get use to it now. Instead, he simply returned to his work. 

-

Michelle had tears in her eyes, her hands covered her mouth as she looked on. Matthew shook not moving a muscle “Papa!!” He cried out in a panic, “Michelle get Papa!” he said unnecessarily, as Papa rounded the corner. 

Matthew was standing stock still, around his feet was broken glass. If he moved, something might cut him. It was Thursday, tomorrow was inspection and they would see the cut and send him away. He was hyper ventilating. 

Michelle had been dashing around the house as most five-year-old's will. Matthew was smiling and watching her, living vicariously through her energy. It wasn’t until she didn’t turn a corner quite wide enough… She had knocked into the bookshelf, and fell as it teetered dangerously. Matthew hadn’t thought, just sprung up and pushed it back so it was steady. The movement had caused several glass ornaments to smash around him.

“I’m sorry Papa it was my fault!” His little sister blurted out “Mattie was protecting me” 

Oh please Michelle… I love you but stop talking! He thought. 

Papa glared daggers at the pair of them. “Go get the broom, Michelle!” He snapped, the teary little girl dashing off. “you stay put for another minute.” He added looking at Matthew while he fetched his shoes. 

He walked across the glass, crunching it as he went until he reached Matthew, scooping his small frame into his arms and carrying him to the couch where he was placed carefully “Stay here until we have all this cleaned up.” Francis said with an irritated sigh. Matthew cringed… 

Francis lectured as he swept, then vacuumed, then swept again. “you are an Omega! you don’t throw yourself into situations like that!”, “Do you want to be taken?!” “Michelle is an Alpha, if anything she’s supposed to protect you. You are not a protector Matthew!” 

At this point Michelle had been up in her room… crying sounds undeniable. It made Matthew mad. She was an Alpha, but she was only five! She was his little sister and what was the point of being a big brother if you can’t even save your sister from having a ton of books fall on her head. 

When he was free to move, he went and did what he could for her. Holding her and rocking gently as she cried and apologized. Letting her let out all her worries about Papa being mad, or people coming to take Matthew away because she got him hurt. 

The next day when Matthew got home, every piece of furniture was anchored to the wall, all glass ornaments had been packed away.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my goodness guys... o.o you've over taken How Prettily They Break for subscriptions.. I'm kinda in shock. well... I fell inspired anyway. so have some more!

The weekends were pure torment for Matthew now. Since the incident the week before with the glass Papa had been making more and more adjustments. Plates and cups had been replaced with plastic versions, Matthew’s utensils were now child safe ones. He hadn’t been allowed outside in the back yard, and his room now boasted an easel and a flute like he had at school. 

It all felt like overkill to him. Why was it a big deal if he got a lousy cut, or if he fell and bruised his knee outside? It’s not like they were serious injuries… It wasn’t something that could kill him, they’d still get him locked away in a heat room in the end!

This was the logic Matthew used that night when Francis and Michelle were sleeping. That was when he decided if he was going to spend most of his life not having any say in anything, He sure as hell wouldn’t do it without a few nights of freedom. No one needed to know. He wouldn’t get caught and anyone who saw him would never guess he was Omega. 

He crept to the garage and looked at the dust covered bike that use to be his, back when he was allowed to ride. back when there was hope he was beta. 

It felt amazing, helmet on, riding down the street. He wasn’t even going very fast. a normal pace just enjoying the freedom. No one looking over his shoulder, no one micromanaging everything he did. He smiled as he circled the block three times, returning the bike to its rightful place and headed back up to his room. 

School the next day was the same as ever, but he was filled with the thrill of his little adventure. He studied, played his flute and painted with a smile. At first his friends looked on in concern… but they seemed to chalk it up to Matthew joining the other Omega’s in the school who had become inexplicably cheery with time. Matthew wasn’t sure if the others, like him, had found an outlet, or if they had simply decided there was no point in being miserable about something that was to be your life. 

He continued this way for the next three weeks. He would take his bike out whenever he could manage, reveling in the freedom it brought. Even if it was only fifteen minutes… it was more then he would ever get otherwise. 

Sadly it was this freedom that landed him further within societies cage… 

It was three Sundays from his first ride, He had gotten more daring in that time. Flying down the pavement with a large smile spread on his face. It was the greatest thing he had felt, it was like flying! He turned the corner and continued up the block. Thoughts of school and all the tedious little hobbies fading. The embarrassment of using cutlery even his sister had graduated past long gone. The only thing on his mind was the moment and It was beautiful. 

This carefree thinking is probably what caused him to not pay close enough attention. Terror filled him as the large white dog was suddenly there, he swerved towards the street without thinking, and straight in front of a car. 

The crash of metal on metal filled his ears, the pain as the car caught the back wheel of his bike sending it, and consequently him, crashing to the ground was blinding. His screams filled the air as he grabbed his arm, he had landed on it and had felt a sickening crack. He didn’t even hear the car door slam as the person behind the wheel surged out to help him. But he saw as the eyes opened in terror, Matthew unintentionally letting out his first burst of an Omega scent in his eight years, fear. 

“Oh fuck! oh fuck no no no! Are you okay?! Please be okay… Please don’t die, I don’t want to die, please! Oh my god… Just lay still! Oh god...” hands were moving the bike from off of him, as he sobbed. His arm and his hip hurt, he could smell blood and he just really wanted his Papa…

At the same time he didn’t. The man hovering over him was on his cell phone, calling for help. It was the standard thing to do with an injured Omega… but it sent panic coursing through him. he was going to be taken! They were going to take him away! His crying got louder. 

He hadn’t noticed how close he was to home until he heard a familiar voice shouting his name. He looked up shaking and crying as Francis reached him. His face full of concern and heart break. “I-I’m s-sorry Papa” He sobbed his breath catching in his chest as he cried. The ambulance and police sirens wailed in the distance as they approached. 

Francis was kneeling beside him, removing the helmet and running his fingers through Matthews curls, “Shhh…. shh shh mon bebe… Papa is-” He choked his words cutting off. Both father and son cried shamelessly in the middle of the street while the man whose car was still on top of Matthews bike freaked out on his own.

The paramedics arrived first, looking him over before helping him onto a stretcher. Matthew was being loaded as he heard his sister’s voice carrying “Mattie! Mattie where are you going! Papa why are they taking Matthew what happened?!” Matthew closed his eyes. He had failed his sister in all this too… He had been reckless and now it was more than just him paying the price… 

-

His arm was broken, a deeply bruised hip and more than a few friction burns. Matthew laid in the hospital bed, a security guard stationed outside of his room while he stared at the ceiling. He’s not sure how long he had been there… only that he had been told he would be there for a few nights. 

It was the next morning when Papa showed up with a teary Michelle. “Hi, Shelly…” He said, his voice careful, trying to hide any fear or sadness. He had promised it would be fine, and he wasn’t looking to break any more promises right now. He turned to look at the exhausted man next, “Papa…”

Francis moved, sitting on the edge of Matthew’s bed while Michelle hovered by his feet. Hands brushed hair out of his face “how are you feeling mon cher? does it hurt?” 

Matthew almost lost his resolve… but a look at Michelle pulled it back. He shook his head looking down. Yes, it hurt, his body hurt, and his heart hurt. He knew what was coming too… Francis must have noticed because he turned to Michelle with a soft smile “Darling, can you go sit with Miss. Alice in the waiting room while I talk to Matthew. You can come back in soon I promise” 

Michelle nodded… but before she left she moved to Matthew’s side and very carefully hugged around his middle. Matthew placed his good arm on her head, holding back tears as his throat clenched. “Love you Shelly” 

“I love you too Mattie” She whispered as she turned quickly walking from the room. 

It was quiet in the minutes following. The air was heavy with things that had to be said… “I’m sorry Papa” Matthew broke first, tears gathering in his eyes. “I didn’t mean to- I just…” 

“I know Matthew…” his Papa replied, hand brushing away tears that escaped. “I’m sorry to… I should have locked that thing up…” Matthew sat up in the bed and leaned across to fall against his father's shoulder, clinging with his good hand as he sobbed.

“I d-don’t get to g-go home again d-do I?” He whispered through tears, Papa’s arms winding tighter around him 

“I’m sorry cher… no…” Matthew shook, tears falling harder. “They’ll be here in the morning darling… I’m so sorry…” He lost it. Matthew’s wails could be heard throughout the Omega floor and he didn’t care… He only cared that he was losing everything he knew, and it was all his own fault. 

-

Francis and Michelle stayed in his room the whole day and night… waiting for the morning when the Haven staff would pick him up and take him. They wanted to spend every moment they could with him before he disappeared from home forever… 

Omegas didn’t see their families once they entered havens, and most certainly not once they were bought. So it really was a final goodbye, as if Matthew was dying. None of them slept at all that night.

When the van came to collect him, Matthew clung to his father, His front of staying strong for his sister dissolving as he was faced with the reality of being taken away. He was begging in a mix of broken English and French, demanding in the most forceful way his already small eight-year-old body could, that he be retested. They had obviously made a mistake! He was Beta! He had to be! Just like his Mama had been, he was just like Mama! 

He had fought as they tried to take him from the bed, kicking and clinging and pleading, but In the end it had been a fruitless effort. The people from the Northern Bliss Haven had been trained in nonviolent intervention and scooping him safely moved him from the room. 

Matthew watched as Michelle chased after them down the hall, tears streaming down her face. Papa chasing after and catching her and lifting her only to turn his face and cry into her shoulder. His heart broke and he cried louder, calling out desperately for his family He wanted to be back in their arms, he wanted to take it all back and smash that stupid bike! But that wasn't going to happen... and he watched them disappear as he rounded a corner.

Matthew was still a mess of tears and panic as they headed towards the van that would take him to his new home. The panic and struggle didn’t stop once they reached the vehicle and eventually the transport team was forced to administer a dose of medication to help him calm. it stung, making his screaming worse at first, but within a few minutes, it took effect. Matthew quieted, his mind and body numb. The team strapped him into his seat pulling away from the hospital, and Eventually, he simply fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Matthew woke up, opening his eyes a sliver to the brightness that was flooding in through the windows of the shared room. He groaned at the sun, wishing it would just go away. He really didn’t feel like getting up today. The rest of the beds in the room were empty, all of the other Omega’s assigned to this room gone to their classes. 

He had only been here for about five weeks, but the routine was fairly simple. Get up, eat, go to classes, eat, more classes, eat again. relax and practice whatever you’ve been learning in classes. Once weekly doctor visits, and bathing every other day. 

Normally Omega’s were kept on a very strict schedule, but thanks to his injuries, he was given a little more wiggle room, especially when it came to sleep. A healing Omega needs plenty of sleep… It wasn’t like he could do much with only one hand anyway, the other trapped in a cast. Naturally it was his right hand, because that was just his luck, or more likely his punishment for acting so recklessly.

He sighed and sat up looking at the clock. Breakfast had passed, but that wasn’t a big deal. The kitchens were always eager to feed the younger Omegas, hoping to build fat pads to make them healthier… more like make them more desirable. He moved himself out of the bed, struggling to get himself dressed one handed. The uniforms were simple. button up shirts, and either a skirt or pants, depending on what you were comfortable in. Matthew how ever was opting for the rarely used gym clothing. Northern Bliss was stamped across the shirt and shorts he slid on. Buttons of the normal uniforms were too much of a pain to do left handed. 

The kitchen was quiet when he walked in, the beta staff prepping and gossiping in whispers. If there was one upside to any of this, at least he had been sent to a smaller haven, only fifty or so Omegas… there were ones with hundreds. “Hi” he said quietly, still shy around the staff despite their almost over friendly demeanor. A large Beta with blonde hair gathered in a bun at the back of her head turned 

“Hello there Matthew.” she said with a smile “here for breakfast finally?” 

Matthew nodded looking down at his shoes, blushing “I… I was pretty tired I guess…” 

“Not to worry sweet heart! here ya go, come sit at the little table in here and we’ll keep you company, the rest of the Omegas are in class. once you're done you can go join them okay?” He nodded sitting quietly at the table. A few minutes later a plate filled with eggs, bacon and pancakes was placed in front of him. He ate in silence as the Betas returned to their chatting. 

His first two weeks here had been stressful, not just for him apparently. The kitchen staff had become very acquainted with the small blonde Omega who was too upset to eat. twelve days of taking no more than three bites at every meal, causing him to drop seven pounds he couldn’t afford to lose, had almost gotten him taken to the hospital for a feeding tube. Luckily for him, the chef had stepped in asking for a few days to see what he could do. 

With a lot of wheedling, begging and hours spent at that table Matthew worked on slowly building up his ability to eat in the quiet of the kitchen, integrating back into the main hall with the other Omega for lunch and dinner after a few weeks. It was probably what was causing each of the Beta to turn now and then, smiling as the food disappeared off his plate without hesitation.

When he was done eating he reluctantly trudged up the stairs. He had thankfully missed art, painting with his non-dominant hand made the attempts look even worse then before his accident, and he really hadn’t thought that was possible. Next however was music. Though he had his own flute (sent from home with the few other belongings he was aloud) he couldn’t very well work it right now, It left him with one option, his voice. 

The music teacher smiled as he came in, waving him over to the small group of Omega’s in his age group. there were only ten students in the eight to eleven age group. the twelve to sixteen year old's had sixteen Omega, leaving the seventeen and eighteen year old's with twenty four. As you got older, numbers tended to increase, more and more being sent to havens as they messed up. This haven in particular only have five more beds left to be occupied. 

because of the small numbers, Matthew was left as the only student who was working with his voice. It put him in the uncomfortable position of having to do any singing parts in front of the class while they played the background. He hated his voice, felt it was quiet and swishy, but the Music teacher, a brunette Beta seemed to think of it as yet another instrument of beauty. He said Matthew’s voice was soft, but sweet, and that perhaps it could be developed to be hauntingly beautiful. picking out melodies that went with it while encouraging him to project more. 

He looked towards the other students, a couple violins, clarinets, a piano, even a harp. Looked like he was the only one who had picked up the silver wind instrument and he found he kind of missed it. Class continued on, each student receiving praise as they played. 

by the end of classes for the day, Matthew was tired. However he still had something he wasn’t allowed to skip on Thanks to his current condition, he was seeing the doctor more regularly. Not only to keep an eye on his healing injuries, but also his weight and his mental well being. 

He had been a mess when he arrived. Falling apart at the seams over what had happened, it had lead to the lack of food, and even a few days where he couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed for anything more than the bathroom. In that respect he had shown improvement, a few visits with the counselor convinced him that eating and moving were necessary, starving himself to death would only further his family's grief after all…

Basically he learned it was better to put on a smile and act how they wanted him to, then fight it and have to listen to someone drone on and on about responsibility and being blessed...

The tape measure was cold was it wrapped around his hips, the doctor frowning as he looked and repeated it to be sure. “Matthew… you need to eat more my boy!” Matthew frowned, if he ate anymore he was going to explode. The doctor went to the cupboard, reaching in and grabbing something before moving back to hand it to Matthew with a wink “Eat up, doctors orders” Matthew looked down and smiled at the chocolate bar laying in his hand. Well, that was one order he was willing to follow. No complaints. 

-

The next week he came out of the doctors with another chocolate bar (he had only gained back half of what they wanted him to) and without his cast. It felt weird having his arm back, moving it without the extra weight he’d grown accustomed to. It looked weird to, smaller then his left arm, the skin horrible and flaky… and the smell… he was grateful for the bath, though he wasn’t aloud to scrub it hard, it still felt nice to be completely clean. no more sponge baths either. 

He was thrilled to be able to use it again, even if it got tired from disuse quickly. The doctor said it would take a few weeks for it to get back to normal. He needed to take it easy, but still use it so it could build muscle back up to what it use to be.

It was his first day of music where he wasn’t going to have to rely on his voice, the flute case was swinging in his hand as he moved towards the room happily. The small group reached the door as usual when the teacher came out with a sad smile “sorry guys, no class for unclaimed Omega’s. You guys are to report down to the auditorium.” a nervous flutter went through Matthew’s stomach. 

A viewing… people were coming to try and pick out their future mate.

six of the members of his class moved to enter the music room, the other four moving towards the stairs, filing one by one while holding tight to the railing (a rule) as they walked down and into the large room with theater seating. 

“This way please! age eight to eleven over here! leave your supplies by the door” Matthew looked towards the harsh looking Beta. Her dark hair was in a tight plait down her back, green eyes surveying them as they each placed their cases in the area and moved to stand. It was Matthew’s first viewing. never having seen one… 

he was aware they usually had them in groups, one every three months. Prospective new benefactors showing up in groups of six or seven. sometimes no one at all would be picked and they would move to another haven, sometimes the groups would all leave with the contract to an Omega. 

Matthew stood, imitating the other Omegas stance, standing in a line with his hands in front of him. He was the second youngest, and was quickly shuffled down to match that position only Erika younger than him. It was more likely for a young Omega to be chosen, very few in the first age grouping made it through their first year in a haven without being chosen. Younger Omegas were more desirable, easier to train and mold into what you want, despite the wait it was usually worth it. However they came with a larger price tag. Needing to pay for their care over years.

The older you got, the more that price shrank. Typically if you made it past fourteen without being claimed, you were looking at a retirement home after your breeding age was up... Matthew considered this and cringed as a moment of thankfulness for being put into the haven young flashed through his head. He shook it away, he didn’t want to be thankful for any of it… But it was hard to keep it from his mind when he looked down at the looks of defeat on the older Omegas in line. 

Beta’s twittered around them, plastering a number on each of their chests (Matthew received “2” out of the possible fifteen) smoothing out hair, straightening uniforms. Matthew was now wearing his uniform. He had opted for the skirt though he had both. He felt comfortable in either, that had just been the decision this morning. Now he wasn’t sure whether he made the right one, his legs feeling over exposed… He wasn’t even completely sure what he wanted to come from this. 

Did he wanted to be chosen now? Be under another thumb so quickly? It would mean he wouldn’t ever have to attend one of these again… and families who bought younger Omega were well enough off that you usually had the best of care. It’s not like he had a hope of ever getting out of this anyway. He hadn’t really considered this part yet, being all of eight, he hadn’t thought much of his future when he had decided to live at home. He shook the thought away. it was too painful. but still, he didn’t think he would have to put a ton of thought into it so soon.

There again, being picked or not wasn’t his choice, nothing was. 

A beta in front of him was attempting to get an awkward curl that hung in his face to lay back, but was forced to admit defeat when the click of a door opening sent them all dashing to the side, waiting for further instruction. 

The Alphas filed in, and Matthew was hit with the smell for the first time in almost two months. Alphas weren’t aloud in havens unless they were visiting their beneficiaries, or buying them. Even then, there was usually a separate building for visits. It was considered too much of a risk, what with more than half of a haven’s omegas going into heats. 

There were six, all varying degrees of sizes, but all of them seeming plenty intimidating to Matthew. There was even a female alpha in the bunch. 

One by one the Alphas walked in front of the row of Omegas. Matthews eyes cast down the moment they started, his cheeks flushing bright pink as he felt himself being sized up over and over. Once the initial viewing was done, each Alpha handed over a list of numbers, narrowing down who made it to the second step of this. It was an agonizing five minutes before the Haven coordinator started calling out the dismissed numbers. It started at three, which meant Matthew had to stay put. in the end there were only seven of them left, Betas who had been standing back moved to stand behind each other Omegas left, moving them to spread out further. 

Matthew was shaking as he was moved. had Someone taken a liking to him? Had more than one?! He swallowed dryly as he waited to find out. 

He didn’t have to wait long, It only took a few minutes before the Alphas moved towards their possible investments… there apparently was only one interested in him this time, the large Alpha circling him slowly, eyes taking in everything, it was terrifying, like he was a meal the man was considering eating… oh please not this one… a hand brushed over his stomach and ribs with a dissatisfied hum. Matthew had been putting weight back on, he was getting back up to being healthy, but Apparently not fast enough. The Alpha asked a few questions of the Beta behind him, but Matthew couldn’t hear past the blood pounding in his ears. He wanted to sob in relief when the man turned and walked to the door. 

He had made it through his first viewing without being chosen… or so he thought. 

Just as he had let himself relax, another Alpha stopped in front of him. He had ashen blonde hair and bright green eyes, He wore a stern look, but seemed less… hungry. there was something deeper about this one that gave him a small chill… but he was willing to bet they’d all be like that. 

He expected more questions to be aimed at the beta behind him, but only one was “What’s his name?” the voice was sharp but dignified. 

“Matthew Williams, sir” Matthew looked down and cringed at the name. You lost your family name when you left your family. If you were put in a haven they gave you a temporary one until it was changed to your new mates. 

“Matthew” His violet eyes went wide and shot up as he was addressed. 

His voice caught a little “y-yes, sir?”

The Alphas knees creaked as he crouched in front of Matthew, a finger extending moving, just touching his chin, to move his head from side to side, his eyes critical “How old are you, Matthew?” 

“I’m eight, sir.” He said quietly, moving his head without any resistance. 

“and when is your birthday, boy?” his hands had moved, pinching at Matthews hips, causing him to squeak and flinch. It tickled. he thought he saw the edge of the man’s mouth twitch up. 

“July first” The man hummed, apparently pleased at that answer. His face drew closer, an intense look clouding his expression, “such interesting eyes…” He said reaching out and touching the corner brushing lashes. Matthew ducked his head just a bit, cheeks still stained pink. 

“Mr. Kirkland?” The Beta behind him spoke. The man hummed and raised his eyes to look at her the intense look replaced with one that fringed on boredom. “I-I have his medical charts if you…” Matthew’s face paled as he looked up at her. 

Mr. Kirkland stood. taking the folder she offered. After a moment, his eyebrows raised and a smirk set on his lips. “well… you did go out of your way didn’t you, lad?” Matthew looked down, lips pursed as he heard papers shuffling. 

finally the sound of the folder shutting reached his ears and he looked up through his lashes, stomach in knots. “Very well then,” the Alpha handed the file back “I’ll take him.” he said to the Beta with a nod. 

“A-are you sure…” she asked nervously, her eyes flitting down to Matthew, the delicate unbalanced little Omega they hadn’t quite brought up to snuff yet.

“I assure you I’m a man who knows what he wants” Mr.Kirkland knelt on one knee once more. “He’s plenty young enough to have any of that nonsense trained out, aren’t you, poppet?”Matthew nodded, unsure of what else to do… he just wanted his bed, this was a bit overwhelming. Arthur smiled ruffling his hair “That’s a lad. You’ll be a good Omega for my Alfred won’t you?” His who? Matthew opened his mouth to ask, but just then the coordinator appeared, and the adults started discussing numbers. 

He was still shaking eyelids suddenly feeling very heavy when a hand came to rest on his back, “Come on, Matthew” Said the Beta softly behind him “Lets get you some lunch huh?” Matthew nodded numbly and let himself be guided from the room, grabbing his flute on the way. 

None of that days occurrences had really clicked until that night as he lay in bed staring at the ceiling. He had been bought… Mr. Kirkland, the man with piercing green eyes and a stern tone had claimed him… He knew nothing of this man, nor his intentions. Was he a kind man? Cruel? Who was Alfred? Too many questions much too late at night.. 

wetness was suddenly on his cheeks as he realized he was crying though he felt it nowhere else. He turned onto his side, curling up and letting soft sobs break as he drifted into an uneasy sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Two months passed with absolutely nothing changing, days continuing in their near mind melting routine. He woke with the other Omega’s in the morning, dressed, went for breakfast, then had art followed by music. then there was lunch, health class, and free study. Dinner was last before you could simply do what you wanted. For Matthew, that was just reading. He would spend time lounging in the library on the comfortable chairs there, losing himself in Alice in wonderland or charlie and the chocolate factory. 

Matthew had started to wonder if the viewing had been a dream. Things were supposed to change once you got chosen right? It wasn’t until he was sitting at the table, finishing his dinner that he got a first real piece of evidence that it was all real, a package suddenly appearing in front of his face causing his eyes to pop open wide and him to pull back slightly. 

“For you Matthew, from Mr.Kirkland.” It was the music teacher, he had a wide smile as he shook the brown paper package. Matthew took it numbly staring.. a present from Mr. Kirkland. Not that it was particularly unusual, a lot of the Omegas got doted on by their benefactors, some getting little things every few weeks. It was heavy for its size. other children stared on with curiosity

“well open it, silly” one of the older girls said with an easy smile. “It’s not like it’s going to bite you.” Matthew looked up with a frown and nodded. He tore away the paper, a small pile forming on the table. It was a book. It was a beautiful old leather bound book that he had to hold with two hands. on the cover were unicorns and fairies, he opened the cover, and found loopy writing on the first page, signing it 

_I hope you enjoy this book of stories, Matthew. May it help you through your time there and feed your imagination. - Arthur Kirkland._

He smiled at the inscription and flipped it open to a random page smiling at the pictures. They were fairy tales, complete with illustrations that made him feel somewhat ashamed over his own weak attempts at water colours… 

he moved it to adjust it on the table as other kids looked on with similar awe when an envelope fell out. Erika, who had moved to look over his shoulder, bent and scooped it, handing it to him “Thank you” He said flashing her a small smile and getting a nod and smile in return. He looked at the envelope and tucked it into his bag. He would read it later, with less of an audience. The book was passed around by careful hands, people admiring the pages and Matthew beamed. 

After dinner was over and Omega’s scattered to their respective rooms or common areas, Matthew went up to his bed. He sat on the mattress, placing the book on the small side table next to his bed before reaching for his bag. He pulled out the envelope and turned it over in his hands a few times. Why was he worried about an envelope? What could it hold that was so terrifying? 

Matthew shook his head to clear it and ripped it open. He drew out the contents a photograph, and a letter. Matthew picked up the photo first, in it was a boy. He had golden blonde hair that shone in the sunlight and large blue eyes that almost matched the sky above him. He was smiling brightly as he sat on a wooden fence waving at the camera. Matthew studied the photo, taking in the boy. The two shared some similarities, though it was obvious, even from a photograph alone, that he was bigger than Matthew. The build of a young alpha. He put the picture down and picked up the letter reading the message and hoping for a further explanation,

_Dear Matthew_

_I’m very sorry we didn’t get time to talk more when I was there, I’ll be coming back to visit at the quarterly next month, we’ll have a chance to talk more then and get to know one another. Until that time, I have enclosed a picture of my son Alfred. He will be your Alpha when you hit the age. For now, you’re my little secret, however, so you’ll forgive me if you don’t meet him before hand. I will try and answer any questions about him to the best of my ability, of course, along with sending updated pictures as you both grow. I know you must be curious._

_I do hope you know Matthew, that you can write me, and If there is anything you need to make you more comfortable, anything at all, you may ask me for it and I will do my best. You are my charge now and it is my duty to care for you. I want to make sure that while you are staying at Northern Bliss you're happy. Your happiness and health are of the utmost importance, so if I find you've not asked for what you want, I'll be offended, lad._

_I will see you in four weeks and we can take the time to discuss your lessons and my expectations for your education at length. I’m curious to see the talents you boast and eager to make a few minor changes._

_I hope you enjoy the book and let me know if you would like me to bring anything. >_

_Arthur Kirkland_

Matthew read the letter twice before picking up the picture again. Alfred… A small flood of relief he hadn’t known had built up hit him. He wasn’t being paired off with someone that much older then himself. He frowned slightly as he looked up from the picture. he wanted to keep it somewhere safe so it wouldn’t get wrecked… but… where? For a moment, he considered a picture frame, but his face broke out in a bright red flush at the thought. having a picture of his future Alpha in a frame by his bed! He dropped the picture to his covers and curled his legs up, burying his face against his knees. 

A thought hit suddenly breaking his moment of shyness, and he looked back down on the picture sadly. No… this Alfred wouldn’t be his Alpha, Matthew would be his Omega and that was a vital difference. Matthew wouldn’t own the Alpha in any sense, but the Alpha would own him. He was being bought, like a present, for a child born with a silver spoon in their mouth. 

He moved to pick the picture up, holding it with both hands at an arm's length, chin resting on his knees. But was it really this boy’s fault? He couldn’t be much older than Matthew and… well… This was the way life was right? His heart ached a bit. There wouldn’t be much point in being mad at a boy he’d never met, one he was set to be with… No, this was his life. he could spend it bitterly, hating people who locked him away, but what would that bring him? It certainly wouldn’t make him any happier. Who knows, Maybe Alfred would be kind. In the end, that’s all he could really hope for. 

The thought of that alone made him tired... 

Matthew sighed slipping the picture and letter back in the envelope for the moment, putting it in the drawer of the table. He rolled onto his stomach, pulling the book down to rest in front of him, settling on losing himself in stories of Omega’s in distress and the dashing Alpha’s that saved them… 

\- 

It was check ups the next day. This was all routine by now for him, the same thing over and over and over… He wondered if it was going to be like this once he hit age to, spending his day in a constant loop. 

except today it was a bit different. After his measurements were taken, recorded and found to be pretty much the same they had been, the doctor gave him a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry to tell you, Matthew, we’re not done just yet,” He said as Matthew went towards his clothing. 

The omega’s brows furrowed. “what else is there?” 

“Well..” The doctor looked at his chart. “there have been a few more things requested by your benefactor. Nothing too major, we’re going to do some blood tests, and we have to re-check your slicking gland I’m afraid." Matthew frowned, needles and the discomfort and embarrassment of being checked… This was just his lucky day. 

“Alright…” He said miserably “What first” 

“First, we’re going to go for the blood, I’m afraid it’s quite a few vials…” he doctor said wheeling over to a drawer, pulling out the necessary equipment. Needles weren’t so bad… he didn’t _like_ them, but he could put up with it. “Just lay back on the table for me, please. Last thing we need is a dizzy Omega falling right?” Matthew nodded and laid back, staring up at the ceiling. He barely even felt the needle, if he was being honest, the band around his arm hurt worse. He wasn’t kidding about the amount that had to be taken though! Before it was over, Matthew was glad to be laying down. He was given a few minutes and a cookie to nibble on, but quicker than he would have liked he was told to turn onto his stomach and tuck his knees. 

Matthew held onto the familiar bar, bracing himself “I’m sorry to say my boy, we’re trying to get a good measurement so it may take a little more prodding then your initial exam.” at this, tears formed in Matthew’s eyes, but he nodded. 

Five entire uncomfortable minutes later he was all out crying. “I’m sorry…” The doctor said, writing with his free hand, giving one last twist before he pulled out. “Okay… okay, we’re done.” He said gently rubbing Matthew’s back. “The good news is we got the measurements alright, so you won’t have to go through that again until your first heat.” Matthew nodded trying to calm his breathing. He felt aching deep in him... feeling that gland that caused all this trouble and hating it. But at least it would be a few years... right? 

“w-when will I...” He couldn’t even force out the whole question as he shifted himself, the doctor helping carefully to get him into a more modest position, a sheet wrapped around him while he worked on being able to stand again. 

“hard to say I’m afraid… Usually, the first heat hits anywhere from ten to fourteen.” Matthew nodded, “you haven’t really developed your figure yet, hips are still pretty slim, no fat pads... but you’ve also started throwing off scents, so really it’s anyone's guess.” 

Matthew nodded. and turned to get dressed, hiding his nerves as best he could. He was turning nine soon, it could hit within a year. god, he hoped it would wait... They hadn't learned much about heats just yet, but he knew enough to know they were unpleasant. He sighed after he said goodbye to the doctor and closed the door. Were there any good sides to being an Omega? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not next chapter, but soon we'll be having some bigger time skips. Just so your prepared!


	7. Chapter 7

The next month felt like it passed quicker. He found himself pouring over the book he had received. laid out on his bed as he read about worlds of fantasy and magic he could wrap himself in the pictures and words. He had even broken out his sketch pad, trying to recreate a few of the images, it was frustrating to see the way the artist had moved the strokes, while being completely unable to even slightly reproduce the movement. 

He also found himself, embarrassingly often, lying on his bed with the picture in hand. He sat and tried to imagine the young Alpha’s voice, maybe guess what he liked… Mr. Kirkland had said Matthew was a secret… so, that meant Alfred would have no clue about him. In terms of the playing field, Matthew at least had the upper hand in that respect. He would always tuck the photo away carefully when he was done… resolving to finally write a letter requesting a simple frame.

June twelfth arrived and he was nervous as he looked over the things he was asked to bring, His flute, sheet music, his sketch pad and photos of a few paintings… He hadn’t really picked up any other hobbies. Now he was wondering if maybe he should have rather than diving into the books so much...

He smoothed his hands over his uniform nervously, opting for a pair of pants this time. the long sleeves of the winter dress shirt and blazer were traded for the warmer weathers vest and short sleeved white dress shirt. simple navy and white. He shot a look towards his dresser… should he wear this? Or should he change into the skirt. It’s what he had worn last time, is that what he was expecting? 

Matthew groaned in indecision. This whole visit had him in a twist… Not just the outfit either, what if Mr.Kirkland saw his sad attempts at drawing, or his still painfully beginner attempts at his flute and decided he changed his mind? Would Matthew be considered a failure? What if he never found a family and they just gave him away to any old Alpha at eighteen?

No, he was being silly. Matthew scolded himself. He needed to be more mature about this! He was turning nine in a few weeks, not a new Omega anymore. He took deep steady breaths, calming himself as he stuffed everything in his bag. He cast one last look at the dresser before deciding to keep what he was wearing on, leaving with a type of forced calm that felt far from comfortable. 

Ten minutes later Matthew sat in one of the visiting rooms waiting. There was a small couch, a table with some chairs, a few music stands set to the side, even a small kitchenette. Matthew had eyed the couch in curiosity, there was a camera in the room, but it seemed to be positioned over the couch… he wasn’t sure how much of it would even be visible that way. obviously they hadn’t put much thought into the setup of the room.

He was at the table, worrying his lip and picking at his sleeve when the door opened. He looked up with his breath catching as Arthur Kirkland come into the room with a soft smile. “Hello Matthew,” He said as he closed the door behind him. Matthew stood up quickly hands in front of him 

“Hello Mr. Kirkland,” He said quieter than he had intended. The Alpha smiled at him and Matthew shuddered slightly as the smell of him filled the room, only then noticing the slightly fearful one he had been putting off. He blushed looking down. 

“No need to worry Matthew, It’s perfectly normal for you to be nervous. Sit, I’ll make us some tea hmm?” Arthur said as he strolled into the room and over to the counter, filling an electric kettle as Matthew moved to sit again. 

When it was flicked on,“There we go, it shouldn’t take too long.” Arthur moved to the chair across from him, sitting and crossing his legs. his arm rested on the table while his other fished in his pocket and drew out a small, empty, silver picture frame. “I bought this for you like you asked. I trust it will work well enough” 

Matthew turned a little brighter pink and nodded “Yes, thank you...I… I didn’t want it to get ruined…” He said lamely focusing on the frame as he took it in his hands. 

“Of course not,” Arthur said, and without looking up Matthew could hear the smile in his words. there was quiet for a moment and Matthew went back to worrying his lip. His stomach was in knots… “Have you been enjoying the book?”

Matthew looked up and smiled after a second “oh! yes, I have!” He said brightly, finally something to say! “Thank you for it. I think I’ve read all the way through it at least four times by now.” 

Arthur returned the smile “I’m glad, nothing beats a good book to pass the time does it” 

“No sir,” He said shyly. The kettle clicked quietly and Arthur stood, opening cupboards until he found the teapot and tea bags. He pulled them out and poured the water in so it could steep. 

“Speaking of passing the time, why don’t you tell me about the hobbies you’ve taken on?” he asked as he focused on his task.

“Well… painting and drawings, though I’m afraid I’m not very good…” Matthew reached for his bag with a frown, pulling out the book filled with his work. He placed it on the table. “but I also play the flute” Arthur nodded as he moved to bring a tray he had placed everything needed onto the table. 

“I had a chance to talk to your music teacher, he seems to think you may have a talent with your voice?” Matthew blushed again. and Arthur picked up the notebook flipping through. 

“I think he over exaggerates a bit…” Matthew said looking down and going quiet again. 

“well… why don’t I be the judge of that? we have to wait for this to be ready anyway. sing something for me.” Matthew nodded, smiling politely though he was miserable inside. 

he stood and opened his bag again, pulling out the music his teacher had insisted he bring. Matthew grabbed the music stand, placing the book open to the right page. He drew himself up standing straight he took in a deep breath to sing the song he had been practicing. 

He started softly “ I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls, with vassals and serfs at my side, and of all who assembled within those walls. That I was the hope and the pride.” He chanced a glance up and received an encouraging nod. He took a breath and continued

““I had riches all too great to count, and a high ancestral name." He smiled getting through that part 

“But I also dreamt which pleased me most, That you loved me still the same, That you loved me  
You loved me still the same,” he cringed as he hit ‘still’ to sharply “That you loved me You loved me still the same.“ He caught the word the second time, his voice breaking in a more pleasant way. He looked up unsurely and caught a smile. he returned a small one. 

He took a breath counting off the pause before continuing “I dreamt that suitors sought my hand, That knights upon bended knee and with vows no maidens heart could withstand, They pledged their faith to me.” He closed his eyes going off memory, “And I dreamt that one of that noble host Came forth my hand to claim.” a few shaky notes caused his cheeks to flair red.

“But I also dreamt which charmed me most, That you loved me still the same.That you loved me, You loved me still the same, That you loved me You loved me still the same.” He finished a little quicker than the music sheet begged, nerves taking over. He opened his eyes slowly looking up into the smiling face that was still watching him. He breathed a sigh of relief. 

“The tea is ready, why don’t you come sit.” Matthew nodded, closing his book and moving gratefully back to the table

“I agree with your music teacher Matthew, you have a lovely voice. I would like you to continue with it, but if you would like to continue on with your flute as well you may.” Mr. Kirkland passed a tea cup, pushing the milk and sugar closer to him “We can easily set up private lessons during your free study for your voice.” 

He took a sip and cringed “next time I’ll need to remember to bring my own… this is rather awful.” Matthew was already drinking, he thought it tasted fine… “further, I’d like you to continue your art for the time being… but we’ll see how that develops, if at all. You can’t expect to master something so quickly after all. 

“Yes sir,” He said when there was an obvious pause waiting for his reaction. Arthur hummed, taking another sip mindlessly as he stared before cringing and standing, removing both cups and pouring them down the drain. He stayed standing but turned from the sink, arms crossing in front of him and eyebrows furrowing slightly

“well, before we move onto other topics come here please.” Matthew stood somewhat confused but moved towards the alpha without question. “arm up to the sides please” He did. tensing as hands were suddenly around his middle, under the sweater vest but over the thin cotton shirt, groping over his torso, and then down to his thighs. he nodded as he went before pulling back with a smile “Well that’s much better, they told me you had gained the weight back, but with this baggy clothing” he plucked the shoulder of the vest, “I wasn’t sure if they were being truthful or just trying to tell me what I wanted to hear.” 

oh. That made sense then. Matthew had gained back up to his original weight, even a pound over. he cringed at the clothing remark, though… he should have worn the skirt. he picked at the clothing, “I’m sorry…” he said unsurely. 

Arthur smiled and ruffled his hair “It’s not your fault, my boy. I’ll make sure you get some better fitting uniforms, though. As well as some more books I think…” he winked and Matthew gave a small smile at the thought of books though he wasn’t sure how to feel about the uniforms… “Now! Let’s sit and chat, I’m sure you have some question about Alfred.” 

It took Matthew a little coaxing to start asking questions, but as he went he became more curious, asking specifics. What had sparked the boys obsession with superheroes, what did his room look like, what was his favourite movie, what scared him. All his questions answered and by the end he felt like he at least knew the other a little, even if it was only through his father's eyes. It both helped and made him more nervous. 

Before he knew it, the two hours was up. Arthur said goodbye, ruffling his hair and promising to send plenty of books. Matthew thanked him in advance and gathered his things to return to the house. 

Matthew made his way back up to his room, sitting on the side of the bed. He reached into his bag and pulled out the small picture frame, drawing out the dog-eared envelope he took out the picture and safely tucked it into the small frame. 

He blushed looking down on the boy who loved superheroes, could talk about the stars for days, who loved the colour blue and barely had any clothing without grass stains with all the time he spent outside. He bit his lip and frowned, even with all the information… he still wished he could at least _meet_ the other. He hoped he wasn’t going to have to wait until… well… He sighed and looked at his dresser resolving to put it in the drawer and out of sight. It felt weird to wake up and stare at someone he’d never even met… even if he had been staring at him every night for the past month… Matthew sighed and fell back on his bed, He wasn’t even sure at this point if he should be glad he was one year closer to getting out of here or not. 

Arthur held true to his word. It was three weeks later on Matthew’s birthday when he came back from dinner (full of cake, because the Haven wasn’t going to pass up opportunities to feed the Omega’s more) to find a pile of wrapped boxes on his bed. Ten new books and a music device loaded with songs. There was a card as well, the usually cheesy happy birthday message, covered in flowers,

_“For your mind and your music. I hope your birthday is enjoyable Matthew, - Arthur Kirkland”_

He placed the card on his bedside table with a small bittersweet smile. Families weren’t allowed any form of contact once an Omega was in the Haven… so present were only something you got if you were claimed. He didn’t really need a lot of possessions, but he would admit, at least it made the birthday slightly more bearable having new books to lose himself in...

And maybe the thought that someone was thinking of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me so long to settle on a song, and when i did I was honestly embarrassed i didn't think of it sooner... I use to be able to play "I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls" on the organ (because i was a super cool kid who played the flute and the organ) that and green sleeves were my favorite. 
> 
> but really... looking at the lyrics it fits doesn't it?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now Beta'ed! Thank you so much to my wonderful Beta, TheRedAngel for this. chapters will get easier to read from now on (as you can see!) thanks to her!

Matthew no longer felt unclaimed after the first visit. His schedule had changed - the free study period was now voice lessons. His uniforms were altered tighter, and portions at dinner had even changed. He was informed that Arthur had decided he was to be kept on the softer side. He didn’t want a bony Omega for his son and Matthew would be growing into his body more over the next few years anyway. Sadly, this also meant even less of the already scant physical activity time he got...

Matthew took the changes without complaint. He wasn't thrilled with the tighter fitting uniforms, or the lack of running around, but at least it wasn't more extreme. He was still allowed the choice of which bottoms he wore, and what he did after lessons, and he had no strange dietary restrictions. He had seen omegas whose days and lives we're mirco-managed down to bed times and even free time. Really, he had gotten off lucky.

As months flew by, he even started looking forward to letters and visits. Arthur came to every visit, checking over Matthew, making sure he was happy and checking on his progress. By the time Matthew was nine and a half the picture of Alfred had migrated out of his bed side table drawer and now sat on top of it. He was starting to understand the look of peaceful happiness the older, claimed omegas had. Feeling protected, cared for and secure in their futures had a way of making you feel special. It was better then being on of the unclaimed who spent days in a worried twist over their dwindling chances...

Matthew went from class to class, from meals to, voice lessons, to free time and then to bed, all with an ease about him. Part of his brain told him he was being programmed. He was buying into the movies they showed, the books and the songs of Omega’s being precious and cherished as people instead of bought and sold as livestock. More of his brain ignored it, and if it ever got too loud to bear he’d simply remind himself this was what his life was and there was nothing that was going to change it.

He'd even started to dream of the day he would meet Alfred. He could picture it perfectly in his mind. He would be standing, dressed in his finest clothes, smiling with his eyes cast down. The Alpha would walk to him, tilting his chin up and kissing him on the forehead. "You are so beautiful," he would say, and Matthew would blush. Alfred would kiss his lips, then and Matthew would melt. He would be swept off into a heat room and…

well… he wasn’t exactly sure what happened after that… Omega didn’t learn about breeding until they were eleven. At that point they had a special appointment with the doctor and it was all explained. Taking them time to make sure they understood everything before the heat hit. They wanted to make sure Omega were aware of what their bodies were crying for. It tended to end up in more relaxed and less painful heats they said. Less chance of hurting yourself.

That made Matthew nervous… he could get hurt? He had so many questions, but with his tenth birthday around the corner he was still more than a year away from learning. The doctor had said sometimes the heats could start at age ten, though he had learned that there were very few who started that early. They said Matthew probably wouldn’t need to think about it until at least age twelve.

But what if he was one of the few who started early?! He wouldn’t know anything!

It was April when he decided he couldn’t bare it anymore. He had to know now . His fears led him to believe the very moment he turned ten he would fall into his first heat! So, he did what he had grown accustomed to doing when he was unsure or nervous - he wrote to Mr.Kirkland.

_Dear Mr.Kirkland_

_As you know, I’m only a few months away from turning ten, and I know I’m still a year away from learning about it but I’d really like to know what happens when_

His face turned red as he stared at the paper before crumpling it. No… that didn’t sound right. He tried again.

_Dear Mr. Kirkland_

_I was wondering if you could talk to the Headmistress and get me my mating info appointment early. I wanted to know what will happens when I go into a heat. I'm worried it may come early.._

He groaned again, dropping his head against the table. This was impossible.

Half an hour and about six attempts later Matthew finally had his letter.

_Dear Mr.Kirkland_

_You always tell me if theres anything I need, or if I’m not comfortable to let you know. Right now I’m feeling very nervous. My 10th birthday is around the corner and the doctor told me that sometimes a heat will start at age 10. But we don’t learn get to learn about what a heat is, and what it's like to have one until we’re 11._

_It's kind of scaring me.. If i were to start going into my first heat without knowing what was happening.. I know I would be so scared and I wouldn’t even be able to have someone there.. I’d be alone and confused._

_Anyway, I was wondering if this was one of the things you could help me with? If you could talk to the Headmistress, I know she would allow me to learn early! I’m sorry if this is to much to ask you for, but I didn’t know who else to turn to. You make me feel safe, Mr.Kirkland._

Matthew paused and put his lip between his teeth. His brow furrowed as he stared at the sentence.. should he erase that last line? But.. why would he? It was the truth right? Alpha’s were suppose to make Omega’s feel safe. Mr.Kirkland was the head of his future family. That was something like a father, right? Papa had always made him feel safe. Matthew decided to keep the sentence and continued to write.

_I will respect whatever you choose, but I hope you consider it._

_I look forward to seeing you in June,_

_Matthew Williams._

He sealed the envelope and before he lost his nerve, he slipped it into the post box in the hall outside the office. Now he just had to wait.

He didn’t get an answer. June twelfth was fast approaching, and along with the dreaded birthday, and Matthew's anxiety was growing unbearable . Not only had he not received any information to ease his first heat worries, he was also now scared that he had crossed some sort of line! Would Mr. Kirkland even come to visit?

Matthew’s unfortunate way of dealing with anxiety was picking at his food, and not really eating much at all. So it was no shock when the day before visitors day came, the doctor frowned deeply after his checkup. “Matthew… you’ve dropped two pounds in the last month,” Matthew looked down in embarrassment, wringing his hands together. “Why haven’t you been eating?”

“I just haven’t felt very hungry…” He said quietly, not wanting to admit any of the reasons why.

The doctor sighed and moved a hand to ruffle Matthew’s hair “Ahh, Matthew… you’re going to fade into nothingness if you keep this up. I don’t think your benefactor would be very pleased. I’ll give you another week to start eating, but if I don’t start hearing that you’ve been clearing your plate, I’m going to be sending you to the therapist again, alright?” Matthew nodded, his frown deepening. He hated the therapist.

He barely ate again that night at dinner.

The next day he waited and waited to be called. His name had been on the visitor list, but it felt like the time - which had been flying by until he wrote that letter - was now crawling by at a snails pace. He had walked down to the waiting center an hour early and sat down in the waiting area. He watched the other claimed omegas around him being called into the visiting rooms to meet with their benefactors. Some looked happy, some were frightened.. he could relate to the fear. It was only ten minutes before his own visit when he started crying. Mr.Kirkland hadn’t come, had he? He just knew it! He was mad about the letter, and had found out about the weight loss! Matthew was going to sit here through the entire two hour visiting period alone, and everyone would know he was a bad omega!

“Matthew?” called a voice. He looked up to see a confused beta chaperon standing over him. “Are you okay?” A hand went to his forehead feeling for a fever as concerned eyes looked him over. “We were just going to get you settled in the room for your visit, but… If you want to go back to the house I can tell Mr. Kirkland you're not feeling well.”

“He came?” Matthew choked out. The beta looked at him in even more confusion.

"Of course he did. Why would you think he wouldn't? "

"I thought he'd be mad because I lost weight again..." Matthew whispered, and the beta gave him a sympathetic smile. He took Matthew's hand and helped him to stand.

"I wouldn't say he's happy looking, but I doubt Mr Kirkland would be so cruel as to let you sit here and wait if he wasn't coming. "

Matthew hadn't thought of it that way. He sniffled and nodded, moving towards the door of the visiting room.

When he got into the room Mr. Kirkland was already there. The irritated look and scent of disapproval lessened when he saw Matthew's red nose and wet cheeks.

When beta excused herself and the door closed, Matthew started crying all over again. His hands went to his mouth and his head dropped.

He jumped a second later when he felt a soft cloth wiping at his cheeks. He raised his head a bit and saw a concerned frown of furrowed, bushy brows "Matthew…” Arthur sighed and stood, taking Matthews hand and leading him to the couch. Matthew sat down, and Arthur moved towards the kitchen area to pour the tea he had already brewed, leaving the Omega to try and gain some composure.

Arthur came back with two cups, handing one to Matthew. The sobbing had stopped, but his breath still hitched here and there. Arthur placed his cup on the coffee table in front of them and took out the kerchief again. He sat and shifted to hold Matthew’s chin in one hand as he wiped away the tears, then embarrassingly made Matthew blow his nose. “There now, that’s better.” Arthur said with a small smile, “What on earth was all that about then?”

Matthew took in a shaky breath looking down into his tea cup. His cheeks pinkened with renewed nerves under the Alpha’s gaze. “Matthew,” The voice was stern, with a level of command in it. “I want you to tell me now please. I will not waste this whole visit wheedling it out of you”

“I was scared you w-weren’t coming because you were mad… You didn’t answer my letter, and then I lost weight and…” Matthew's voice choked up, and he swallowed hard, trying not to end up getting upset all over again.

"Honestly lad…” Arthur sighed with an exhausted chuckle, “I can guarantee if you ever make me mad, I will most definitely show up, regardless of appointments.” Matthew looked up, cowering a little. Arthur continued sounding mildly annoyed, “With that being said, I am a very busy man. Sometimes I have more things to do then I have hands to do them with. It wasn’t that I was ignoring your letter, simply that I hadn’t the time to properly-” He coughed suddenly, looking away to grab his tea cup and Matthew saw a slight reddening to his ears as he took a sip “I have spoken to your Headmistress at length on the subject of your letter.” He wasn’t looking at Matthew. He was inspecting his cup instead. “I won’t say it’s a thought that made either of us overly comfortable, seeing as you're still not ten yet, but we’re willing to overlook that.” The disapproval in his voice was obvious, and the small, hopeful smile that had appeared on Matthew's face quickly faded. He sank down into the cushions, his head bowed and the back of his neck exposed, submitting automatically in every way he could without laying down.

“I expect however, in return, that you follow the simple rules I have set for you, Matthew.” Matthew glanced back up and flinched at the green eyes he could almost feel burning into him, but he couldn't look away. “The subject of your losing weight has not been a very welcomed bit of news. I set specific standards for a reason, and if you continue to ignore them, then I will be mad, I can promise you that.” Matthew dropped his head, nodding in shame.

“Right. On that note, stand up, lets see you then.” Arthur said his voice dropping the stern tone for a more relaxed one. Matthew stood without hesitation, and moved to the usual position in front of Arthur, his arms out to the side. He was just glad his lecture hadn’t lasted longer, and that Arthur was still interested in his progress as his sons future omega.

-

The week after, Matthew was called into the doctors office. His stomach was in knots. He had asked to learn about what would happen in his first heat.. only now he wasn’t so sure. Was he ready to know?

He entered the office and was greeted with the softly smiling face of the doctor. “Come have a seat, Matthew.” The doctor gestured to the chair on the opposite side of the desk. There were pamphlets all laid out for him to see. Just glancing at the titles of the pamphlets was enough to have him start to feel nauseous, but he sat down as directed. His eyes were downcast so he wouldn't have to see the pictures or the words, and his face was raging with blush.

The appointment took a half an hour. Matthew learned in that time exactly what Alphas did to Omega’s in heat rooms. He learned how penetration, he'd shuddered at the word, lead to locking and possible pregnancy. It had sounded terrifying. Alphas 'things' being put up there like the doctors fingers had been. It had been such a horrible experience! But the doctor assured him it would be different after a heat.  
Matthew had curled up in his chair with his eyes closed as the doctor explained how it would feel. He explained it would relieve the feeling of burning that came with a heat, and that it was pleasurable to the omega in question. Again, Matthew shuddered. The words were more than enough to make him want to die of embarrassment..

He left with a package of material to look over. All the pamphlets, plus a book about the anatomy of omegas, betas and alphas that had all sorts of information on everything he could ever want to know. He took it and went back up into his room with his stomach churning.

Sitting on his bed, he spread things out, looking over everything. He picked up a pamphlet titled “A Burning Problem”. He opened it and quickly dropped it as the images of nests and male omega anatomy were revealed. His hands went to his face and he clenched his eyes shut tight. Why had he wanted to know this! A few moments later he picked it up again, taking a deep breath as he fully opened it. There was a whole list of tips for temporary relief, he looked around the room paranoid before turning back to it and studying carefully.

He was only just getting to part about needing to insure his hands were clean and nails well groomed before doing any ‘ internal self relief’ when the door to his shared room burst open. Just like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar Matthew flung himself over the pamphlets. “I’m not doing anything!” He cried, his eyes shut tight.

But no one was paying attention to him.

“Let me go, damnit! I don’t wanna be here!” Matthew’s looked up and his eyes widened. Three beta orderlies were doing their best to keep hold of a pale omega. His white hair was one of the few things Matthew could make out through all the thrashing, but it was such a striking feature that it alone was shocking.

“Gilbert, your going to hurt yourself if- oaf!” Gilbert, Matthew assumed, had just kicked an orderly named Matthias in the face. As far as the beta staff went, he was one of the better ones. He knew how to talk to you without making you feel small, while being happy and goofy enough to keep you smiling and relaxed. Matthew was sorry to see him kicked.

“You okay, Matthias!?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” The beta grumbled, hand holding his hurt face as the other beta two scrambled to get a better hold of the squirming omega. “Is he ok?!”

“Let me go, let me go , let me go!!!” The boy shouted. He was being held tight against one of the betas chests, so his squirming was useless. Matthew gasped when the omega boys eyes opened. Blood red eye irises glared around the room. “I want to go home!”

Matthias tried in a gentle tone, “You're an Omega, Gilbert, it’s been explained… “

“Fuck you and your Omega haven bullshit!” Matthew’s eyes went wide.

Matthias sighed, “Where the hell is Adrian with that damn needle? He's gonna hurt himself worse at this rate!”

“I’m here!” She ran into the room holding it. Gilbert's eyes went wild and his struggling intensified.

“No! No no no! Not again no! Bitte!” Matthew felt tears careening down his face as they had to pin the boy, injecting him and holding him still until the medicine took affect and Gilbert's struggles ceased. Matthew began to shake, his hands gripping the bed painfully tight.

Two of the orderlies backed off now that the omega was still. The other two moved to safely bind Gilbert to the bed and started to check the Omega for injuries. It wasn't until they heard a small whine from behind them that they turned and noticed the small and thoroughly upset Omega sitting opposite to the scene that had just taken place. “Oh no.. It’s okay Matthew… he’s okay alright?” The tall blonde said just as gently as he had tried to be with Gilbert.

“I thought no one was suppose to be up here?” one of the orderlies by the bed said quietly. Matthias eyes had looked down by this point, filling with understanding and a slight cringe on his face.

“He just came from an appointment…” Matthias turned to Matthew and crouched down by his bed. “Hey bud,” he started softly again “Why don’t you come with me for now, huh? We’ll get you some ice cream in the kitchen okay?” He held out his hand, and Matthew - at this point shaken to his core - started sobbing. He moved quickly off he bed and wrapped arms around the betas neck. Seeking comfort, he buried his face into Matthias' neck, his tears soaking into the betas uniform.

Matthew was quickly lifted up, arms supporting him as he was whisked off for ice cream and calming after the scene. Matthew wasn’t even sure what had upset him the most about the scene he just witnessed. He couldn’t shake the look of hate and fear that had shone in those red eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lets do the time warp again!!! 
> 
> Yay for the Entrance of Gilbert! any comments or criticism is welcomed ^.^


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! new chapter ^.^ It's been beta'd (thank yooooou~) and the last chapter was fixed up a bit as well. We're on the move people!
> 
> and i just realized Prussia was on the relationship tags, but NOT the character list :/ ahhhh jeez...

Gilbert had to be sedated once more in the night before he stopped trying to escape the binds that held him to the bed. It had been just as terrifying, if not more so. The screaming and thrashing had started at three in the morning and woke Matthew and the three other sleeping omegas in the room. The smell of their fear saturated the air, only making it worse for all five of them.

It had taken another hour after Gilbert was once again medicated and comatose that the Betas had managed to calm them all down. They had even resorted to breaking out scent blankets. Matthew didn’t want one - it made him feel weird to think of smelling some strange Alpha to calm down. It made him sad too. If he had still been at home and got upset, he could have just curled up with papa and felt safe… 

His face turned red as a thought crossed his mind. The thought to ask Mr.Kirkland for a blanket with Alfred’s scent. He could never! Asking for a push on the mating talks was embarrassing enough! Though, he was hit with a curiosity over how his future mate smelled. Was it like his father? Oh no! That thought was worse! 

He wound up huddling under his covers with his face burning, sneakily grabbing the picture of Alfred off his nightstand to console himself with. He eventually fell asleep, holding it close. 

In the morning, their room was excused from classes so they could get extra sleep to make up for what they had lost the night before. Most, however, got up anyway, and wandered from the room. Away from the Omega with snow white hair and ruby red eyes. He would growl at them if they got too close.. 

Matthew, on the other hand, hated mornings more than he hated the thought of being near an unstable Omega. Any excuse to sleep in was one he was going to take. 

When he did wake up, there was still an hour before lunch. The Beta who had been tasked with making sure Gilbert didn’t upset the other Omega's again, had left an hour ago. Apparently he had decided Matthew’s extra sleep was a little bit of an overkill. So Matthew was alone in the room with the restrained boy. 

Sure, he could have gone to art class… but he still wasn’t overly interested in it. He looked over at Gilbert. The Omega was just laying there, staring at the ceiling. Well… maybe this was as much privacy as he was going to get. This could be a good time to break out the reading material he had stuffed under his bed. 

When he retrieved it, Matthew didn’t exactly feel comfortable turning his back on Gilbert, so he sprawled across his bed on his stomach, book down where his feet would go. After awhile it was easy to forget that he wasn’t alone. The other boy was silent, the only sounds in the room were of the pages turning and Matthew's occasional squeak or groan of personal embarrassment. 

He was just reaching a part on knotting, (did they really need such vivid illustrations!?) when he let out a particularly long whine, his face burning. 

“Mein gott… shut up…” Grumbled Gilbert, causing Matthew to jump. He looked up from his book. The others voice was rough, heavily accented, but strained. probably thanks to all the screaming he'd been doing. Matthew's mouth turned down in a thoughtful frown as he wondered about the boy.

Curiosity over the red-eyed Omega got the best of him. 

He walked over timidly, abandoning his book and jumping slightly when the other boy caught the movement and locked eyes on him. “H-hello” Matthew said shyly. Gilbert looked him up and down and grunted, turning his head away. After a moment, Matthew tried again. “My name is Matthew. I know your name is Gilbert… are you feeling any better?” 

There was a long silence and Matthew just about gave up when a grumbled response came from the white haired boy. “Why should you care? You're just another little puppet.” 

Matthew frowned. A puppet? How on earth was he a puppet?! “I am not…” he said weakly. 

“Oh yeah? Then why are you still here?” Gilbert turned and red eyes were on Matthew again with a cold glare. “If you're not just another Omega puppet, why haven’t you run away?”

Matthew looked at him like he just grew three heads “Why? What would the point be?” Gilbert furrowed his brow in confusion, as if that wasn’t the answer he expected. “I wouldn’t get very far," Matthew continued, "and if I did, I’d either get scooped again and brought back, or someone worse would get me.” he said with a shrug as he sat down. It’s not that he hadn’t thought of running away… but along with the fact that it didn’t seem like a very good idea, Matthew lacked the nerve to try. 

Gilbert looked away again, his face fallen a little. “You know,” Matthew started again “It’s not horrible here… I mean, I hated it too, at first.” He leaned forward, elbows on his knees with his head perched on them. He wasn’t sure why he was telling the other boy all this, but it felt like the right thing to do. “I wouldn’t eat. They all wound up in a panic about it... but once I settled down, it wasn’t that bad.” 

More silence from Gilbert. “The food’s good though,” Matthew tried.

“Food was good at home too,” Gilbert said moodily

“Yeah, I preferred Papa’s cooking too. But I mean… at least it’s a small haven. Some of the bigger havens are horrible, I’ve heard. There’s a girl here who got transferred because her Alpha wanted her closer. She said the food was worse, they were much more strict, and the rooms were packed. She told us they only got to go outside once a week...” Matthew bit his lip, “I heard a Beta talking about sending me to one when i was first here. I was too much of a handful for the staff." Matthew watched as Gilbert swallowed. He gave a sympathetic smile, not that Gilbert was looking at him to see it. 

They sat in silence for a few more minutes. Matthew was about to try engaging him again when an exhausted looking Mathias popped his head into the room. Matthew cringed at the bruising on his jaw, but regardless the Beta smiled. “Matthew, come on! You're gonna be late for lunch. What’s Arthur gonna say if you don’t get your weight back up, huh?” At that, Matthew cringed. 

“Okay, I’ll get dressed and be down in a minute.” The Beta nodded and left. Matthew stood and walked over to pull out his uniform. He was almost fully dressed when the silence was broken again.

“Who’s Arthur?” Gilbert asked. Matthew turned, skirt fluttering in the quick motion as he finished pulling the vest on.

“My Benefactor.” He answered with a small smile. 

Gilbert furrowed his brow again as Matthew worked with his tie “But why would he care if you lost weight?” 

“Because he wants me to be healthy and happy.” Matthew answered, a light pink flush dusting his cheeks. Gilbert hummed in realization, looking back up at the ceiling. 

“Just don’t forget why he wants you healthy…” 

Matthew left the room with a frown. He knew why Arthur wanted him healthy. He was an Omega. Omega’s had to been kept healthy so they could be bred. Healthy Omega, healthy offspring. Not like it was some government secret. 

But… Arthur also wanted Matthew to be healthy because he cared. He knew that too! The Alpha wanted to keep him happy. He sent books, and music, and cards, and all sorts of things to keep Matthew smiling when he didn’t have to! 

He reached the dining room with a look of thoughtful saddness. Gilbert must have gone through something horrible before getting here… to have such a negative outlook on his life as an Omega.

\---

Gilbert was only tied to the bed for the first day. By the time Matthew had returned to his room after dinner the red-eyed Omega was sitting on his bed in his uniform, looking almost more miserable than he had when he was tied down, though less angry. It seemed strange to Matthew that someone with so much fire would burn out so fast, but, He didn't really know Gilbert. Maybe the Omega was just like that?

Gilbert's head turned slowly towards the door at the sound of another Omega coming in to drop off her books. His eyes stopped on Matthew, so he offered a smile and a wave. Gilbert, however, didn't react much, just turned away, like he hadn't seen a thing and resumed staring at the wall. Matthew sighed and moved to his bed, plugging his headphones in and playing the song he was currently working on, turning on repeat. He muttered the words under his breath as he reached for a book from his collection, leaning back against his pillows and losing himself to the story. 

It was a full two weeks later before Matthew spoke to Gilbert again. It’s wasn't that he avoided him - once he wasn’t screaming he wasn’t so bad. Maybe he was a little lethargic, but not crazy and filled with hate like they had all witnessed on the first day. He blended as well as he could into the crowd for Matthew though. None of them paid each other much mind.

Matthew was cross-legged on his bed, looking over the antique wooden Piccolo he had been given for his birthday from Arthur. The fingering was the same, but the notes were higher and sweeter sounding- much less harsh sounding than the metal one they had in the haven band room. He brought it to his lips and played a scale, smiling at the smooth sound. He was thrilled Arthur seemed to be taking his music more seriously. He still wasn’t fond of singing, even if he now had to admit his voice was not bad. 

He brought the instrument to his lips again and played a simple tune from memory, closing his eyes and feeling the notes. He opened them again a few minutes later and jumped, a harsh, flat note played in his startle. Gilbert stood at the end of his bed, a flash of interest in his eyes as they focused on the small instrument in the blonde boys hands. 

“H-hi?” Matthew said lowering the Piccolo with a cautious smile. “I’m sorry. Was I making too much noise?” 

Gilbert blinked slowly and looked at him with mild surprise, as though he had just woken out of a deep sleep “What? Oh… no… it sounds good.”  
They sat in silence for a few moments, neither boy seeming able or willing to say anything. 

“Would-” Gilbert said, pausing and licking his lips. His voice sounded hopeful but hesitant. “Would you play some more?” 

Matthew wasn’t sure how to answer, so he simply lifted it again, and restart the tune he had been playing. By the time the song was over, there was a small, sad smile on Gilbert's lips. 

“My grandmother had one like that…” he said, hands on the foot board of Matthew's bed. His palms curled and uncurled in repetitive, somewhat jerky motions. Matthew watched him thoughtfully. 

“Can you play?” He asked, tilting his head. Gilbert shook his head in response looking down, his smile falling. He was rocking a bit now too. Matthew furrowed his brows, unsure if the motion was intentional or not... “Do you wanna learn?” He offered. 

“You would do that?” Gilbert asked, staring as his hands in confusion. He stopped the movement as if he just noticed he'd been doing so. Matthew was mildly surprised by his own offer. He hadn’t attempted to get to know anyone here so far, but then, there was no one who seemed as intriguing to him as the red-eyed boy had that first night...

“If you want,” He said with a shrug “not like there’s much else to do, right?” Gilbert looked up and Matthew offered a warm smile. Gilbert's mouth twitched up a bit in response

“Thanks,” 

Matthew nodded, “we’ll start tomorrow?” he asked, and Gilbert nodded. He walked back to his bed with that tiny smile.


	10. Chapter 10

The first few weeks of trying to teach Gilbert to play the Piccolo were difficult. He seemed to be having a hard time focusing, but Matthew could see how hard he was trying. He could see it, because he also saw it when Gilbert didn't try to fight whatever fog he was in during other classes. In art class, he would just poke at the clay, or let paint just dribble down the canvas - if the brush made it to the canvas at all. In health class, he would stare out the windows, and would sometimes mumble to himself…

Only in music class, with Matthew sitting in front of him and Gilbert holding the old piccolo, did the red-eyed omega seem to show any semblance of interest. Matthew used the band rooms crappy metal one. Making a beginner play on the metal one would have just sounded painful.

"Okay, let's play a simple scale," Matthew said, bringing the shiny instrument up and demonstrating a few notes. They flowed quickly and easily, sounding smooth and sweet. He lowered it, and smiled. "Okay, now you try." Gilbert's eyes flicked to look behind Matthew. Matthew turned to see the music teacher had come to observe them playing.

"Go ahead, Gilbert. Let's see what you've picked up," the teacher said gently with a smile. Gilbert looked at him warily, but Matthew gave him an encouraging nod. After a moment, Gilbert nodded back in reply and lowered his lips to the instrument. He played the scale well, a few notes hit a little too harshly, but overall good for a beginner. Matthew told him as much and Gilbert actually smiled properly.

That was when Matthew found he had a shadow. When Gilbert had first arrived, outside of their lessons of course, the pair just sort of passed by each other without a word. Now it was as if Gilbert was always by his side. Matthew worried, after spending so much of his time on his own at the haven, he thought he would grow tired of the constant company. But to his relief, he was finding he enjoyed having a friend again.

It seemed to make the staff happy as well. Teachers and orderlies would smile when they saw the two walking together. Matthew apparently was a good influence. At least, that's what the art teacher had pulled him aside to tell him as she pointed towards Gilbert who had eventually done more than poke at his clay, and dribble paint with his brush. Now he was actually making things, creating things, and showing more interest.

It was two months later, during free time after lessons that Matthew's curiosity about the albino was finally answered.

"I wasn't tested when I was eight." Gilbert started, unprompted as they sat facing each other on the floor of their shared bedroom. They were working on building a house of cards, like they often did. Matthew looked up at him with wide eyes.

"How?" It was all he could think of saying. Testing had been terrifying, but it was something you just did, something you couldn't avoid.

Gilbert placed a card flat across two joining points. "We lived in the middle of nowhere, My parents just reported me and my siblings as Alphas. But I guess someone thought it was weird. My mom was an Omega, so an Omega having five Alphas and no Betas or Omegas was unusual. I didn't even know what I was until they took us away..." Gilbert was getting that look in his eyes again. The one that looked like he wasn't really in the room anymore. Matthew frowned deeply.

"Did you know anything about Omegas or Betas at least?" He asked, pulling the other boy back into the reality of the present. It had to be hard coming into some place you had never been prepared for, never mind if you were clueless...

"Mama use to tell us about being Omega… How they use to kill us, and when that didn't work out so good, they just started shutting us up in these places." He replied, his voice and eyes both hollow.

"That explains why you were fighting so hard I guess…" Matthew mused, tipping two cards together and placing his tongue between his teeth.

"Yeah," Gilbert said, sitting back for a second, "I was pretty pissed. Then they started giving me these pills... The therapist said I was too much of a danger to myself. They make me feel so tired all the time... I hate them."

Matthew wasn't entirely sure if Gilbert was talking about hating the pills or the staff, though he could imagine he'd say the same about either. It also explained, finally, the fire in the boy that had seemed so suddenly snuffed out.

There were cases where Omegas were put on medication. Ones who had hurt themselves or were too careless, were considered high risk. The havens couldn't have a bunch of Omegas running around marking themselves up or even permanently damaging themselves. Damaged merchandise didn't sell very well, after all. And it was a havens mission to place all Omegas with an Alpha who would care for them and breed them. Matthew himself had been warned by the therapist when he had first arrived, that if he kept refusing to cooperate they'd have to consider medication.

Matthew nodded his understanding, but then looked up at the clock and smiled. "I have to get ready," He stood up and walked towards his dresser, looking in the mirror perched there. He grabbed a brush to run through his hair.

"Get ready for what?" He heard Gilbert get up behind him. The sound of the card house falling brought a groan from the albino and a snicker from the blond. Matthew looked through the mirror and smiled widely.

"Mr. Kirkland comes today to see me today. I have to make sure I look my best." Gilbert sat on Matthew's bed and pulled a face. Matthew ignored it and went back to his hair.

"Look nice for some old dude who's going to take you into a heat room and-"

" isn't going to be my mate, for one," Matthew interrupted, "for another, how the heck do you know what happens in heat rooms? You're only ten, right?"

Gilbert shrugged. "I'll be eleven in January. My Ma taught all of us 'bout what happens. Just in case. Also made it easier to understand when she disappeared into a room for a week and we weren't allowed in." Matthew's face dropped, remembering his family briefly before he set his eyes in determination and opened the drawer, pulling out a skirt to swap his pants for.

"Well, either way, he's not going to be my mate. Alfred is." Matthew said, unbuckling the pants and dropping them before he slipped the skirt on.

"And is Alfred going to be there too then?" Gilbert asked, and Matthew blushed.

"No… He doesn't know about me yet. Not until I'm of age." He grabbed knee high socks and sat next to Gilbert while he unbundled them.

"Wait… so you don't even know what this dude looks like?" Gilbert looked stunned and disgusted. "What if he's ugly or some shit?!"

Matthew glared. Alfred was not _ugly_! He was handsome! A flush of embarrassment stained Matthew's cheeks red. "Of course I know what he looks like!" He finished pulling one sock on, then turned to grab the framed picture of Alfred. He shoved it into Gilbert's hands. It was a new picture. A current one, taken only a month prior, Mr Kirkland had said. The boy in this one posed for the picture, dressed in a suit. He was entering that awkward teenaged Alpha phase, with gangly limbs and features that were somewhere between childish and charming, but Matthew saw nothing wrong with that. Alfred was still stunning, all blue eyes, blonde hair and a sunny smile.

The other Omega looked at the picture and his eyebrows furrowed as he grumbled. "He's not that good-looking." Matthew pulled up the second sock, then took his picture of Alfred back and placed it carefully on his night stand. His flush was darker now. He was starting to feel defensive.

"Well I think he is."

"Pfft, whatever." Gilbert said, laying backwards across Matthew's bed. "Still gonna act like any other Alpha - take what he wants once a cycle and pump you full of babies until you explode." His words were bitter.

"He's not like that!" Matthew gasped, his face twisting into a frown. Tears stung his eyes.

"You've never even met him!" Gilbert reminded, propping himself on his elbows with a deep frown of his own.

"Whatever Gilbert!" Matthew stood and grabbed the bag he had already prepared earlier. "At least I have a benefactor!" He snapped, shoving his feet into his shoes before turning and stomping from the room.

What did Gilbert know anyway?! Alfred would be great! Just like Mr. Kirkland, he would be kind and gentle and he would icare/I. It wasn't like he would just forget about Matthew in between heats!

Right?

No. He didn't want to think about this. Not right now. Right now he had a visit with someone who DID care about him. Matthew walked down the stairs, towards the visitation wing. He wasn't going let Gilbert's sour, negative attitude towards Omega life spoil his visit with Mr. Kirkland.

Matthew smiled happily a half hour later when Mr. Kirkland came into the room. "Hello, sir," he said standing, from his place at the table.

Mr. Kirkland smiled and walked to him, placing the briefcase he was carrying down on the table before patting Matthew on the head affectionately. "Hello there, pet. You seem cheerful today." Matthew shined a little brighter at the touch. He was cheerful, maybe a little more then he would have been if he hadn't been rubbed the wrong way before the meeting and had forced himself into a better mood.

The pair sat down together and Arthur smiled across the table as Matthew poured the tea he had already prepared. He was a step ahead this time. Arthur had left some of his favourite tea there for visits. "Thank you, lad," He said, taking the cup Matthew had served him. He took a sip with a hum of approval.

His hands moved to the briefcase, opening it and pulling out a file. Matthew's name was written along the top tab. He opened it on the table. "I got your latest medical update from your appointment last week, and I'm very happy with you, Matthew." He said, looking over the papers "You've not only got your weight back up, but your doctor thinks your hips are starting to spread and develop as well." At this, Matthew blushed, but he also smiled a tiny bit with his eyes cast down.

"You're moving along excellently, just as I knew you would. It's the meek ones who work hard to catch up that tend to surpass the others, in my experience." Mr. Kirkland said, flipping the papers back and forth a few times, comparing the new report to the older ones. "Come round the table here, let me see you for a moment." Matthew hopped of his seat, skirt flipping a bit more than he expected, causing him to flush and squeak. His hands moved to smooth it down, feeling sheepish. He walked around the table to stand in front of Arthur.

The Alpha was chuckling. Matthew looked down, shoulders raised a bit in embarrassment as he spread his arms out to the sides again. Arthur's hands slid up under his vest, fingers probing along the slight cushioning that was starting on his hips and tummy, then moved up to his ribs. Thankfully they were no longer as easy to count. "Perfect." Arthur said with a smile as he drew his hands away. Matthew smiled in return and went back to his seat.

"Now Matthew, we do have a more serious topic to discuss today, but first…" he reached into the bag and pulled out a small book about the same size as his hand. "For your pictures.. there's a few more in there as well." Matthew was nervous at the mention of serious topics… but the album excited him. He took it and flipped it open.

There were new pictures of his future Alpha. Alfred in a football jersey, Alfred hanging upside down in a tree with Arthur scolding him, Alfred at the beach in a swimsuit.. that one made Matthew blush and he quickly shut it.

"Thank you, ." He said quietly, turning to tuck it safely in his backpack. His face was burning hot. He hoped it would cool soon, with the pictures tucked away.

"Of course, Matthew," Arthur said with a knowing smile that only made poor Matthew's blush worse. "Now, the things I wish to discuss are of a delicate nature... but I felt it best coming from me first." Matthew nodded, and shifted in his seat.

Arthur pulled another paper out, and laid it in front of Matthew. It was an anatomy diagram. He pointed to a green section that was labeled 'scrotum'. "you see this part yes?" Matthew nodded " this particular body part on an Omega isn't actually connected to anything internally. It doesn't really serve a purpose in your body, except maybe to cause some issues later on... Scientists think it is a leftover from evolution for whatever reason, but really, it's pointless to keep around." Arthur explained as Matthew nodded along, not able to look up from the picture.

"There is a very simple procedure to remove it, but it's best done before a heat. The part trends to expand afterwards, and then it becomes a little more complicated. So I would like to send you to have it taken care of sooner, rather than later." He moved back to his brief case, placing the picture back inside and snapping it shut "there are a few other benefits, but... perhaps that's best left to your doctor to explain in more detail yes?" He said, ears turning pink

It was Matthew's eyes that expanded as he looked up, the fear plain as day on his face. "They... they're gonna cut it off?" He squeaked. Surgery?! He knew some Omegas were altered.. but he hadn't considered it might happen to him.

"It's not that big of a surgery, pet. They'll only keep you in the medical center for a day or two. A few weeks of healing, and you'll be back to normal." Arthur said with a comforting smile.

But Matthew hardly felt comforted. Still, he couldn't object... he didn't have a choice. Whatever Mr. Kirkland, his benefactor, felt should be done with him.. it would be done. So, with tears gathering in his eyes, he nodded. "Aww, there-there lad," Arthur said soothingly, taking his hand to give it a squeeze, "It'll be done and over with before you know it. You'll see." His eyes were blurred with tears, so Matthew only heard Arthur's chair pulling out and a moment later felt his hand on his shoulder. His chair was pulled out and turned and he saw a blurry Mr. Kirkland bent down to eye level with him. "I can even come visit you in the hospital after, won't that be nice?" Arthur dabbed at his tears with a kerchief pulled from his pocket. "I'll bring anything you'd like." Matthew nodded, feeling numb.

"Thank you, Mr. Kirkland," he whispered, trying to smile even a little bit.

It seemed to be enough for Arthur because he stood and returned to his seat. "Now.. why don't you let me hear that piccolo of yours, hm?"

When Matthew returned to his room at the end of the visit, he was still felt like a nervous wreck on the verge of tears. He had smiled and made his way through the meeting… but the thought of the upcoming surgery was haunting him. The shared bedroom was devoid of the other Omegas, as well as Gilbert. Matthew supposed it was his first day of viewing.

HE suddenly felt bad for snapping at his friend. Hadn't he felt the same things when he first came here? He had stood in the auditorium and felt relief when he thought he wasn't going to be chosen.

He was lying, staring at the ceiling when Gilbert came back. Matthew sat up and looked at him. He was pale and frazzled in apperence "Hey," he called, and Gilbert looked at him before turning his eyes down, toeing the ground.

"I'm… sorry about..." he started, but Matthew shook his head.

"No, It's fine. I'm sorry, it's just…" He shrugged.

"Yeah…" Gilbert answered. There was a silence that fell between them. Neither Omega wanting to discuss their afternoons.

"Wanna play Go Fish?" Matthew offered, grabbing the deck of cards he had found tossed on his bed and holding them up.

"Yes, please…" Gilbert said with an exhausted smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did tag medical procedures ^0^
> 
> okay, to clarify, There is not gore warning on this, so there will be no descriptive surgeries. The concept is scary enough I think thank you very much!
> 
> also I edited it a bit, after rereading, Arthur felt rushed. I was going to go further into it in the next chapter, but that should help it a bit. XD


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This one was suppose to be done like three days ago, but oh god so much came up in between writing! It felt like some outside force was trying to prevent it! either way... New chapter! enjoy!

Matthew was so completely freaked out at the thought of the surgery Arthur wanted him to have, so when his weekly appointment rolled around, he decided to discuss it with the doctor. Apparently, along with being considered… unsightly… there were other reasons for the removal of a male omegas 'unnecessary' nether parts. For one, like the tonsils or an appendix It was an organ in an omega's body that could cause problems later in life. It could develop cancer. Another was that It made childbirth a little more awkward. Not having them there would make everything more sanitary when the time came. It could also be a source of pain, and many male Omega tended to thrash during a heat and could end up hurting themselves. Matthew was glad to have some medical reasoning behind removing this part of himself… but he still felt a twist in his gut at the thought of going under a knife. 

The appointment was made, although it was going to take four months. During the waiting period Matthew was left to fret and feel anxious. His doctor, Mr.Kirkland, and a few of the staff members made sure to remind him he still had to eat. Losing more weight was not going to help him, so he forced himself to do that at least. 

“So… they’re cutting part of you _off?_ ” Gilbert asked, his eyes wide and his voice a little too loud for both the topic and the library.

“Shh!” Matthew hushed with panic in his voice, “Not so loud!” He ducked his head behind a book. 

“Sorry…" said Gilbert, a little more quietly, "But really?! And you’re just _letting_ them?!” The words were hissed out.

“It’s not like I have a choice!” Matthew replied with a frown before blushing bright red and looking down, “Besides… that part can cause issues for me when I'm older or something…” He muttered.

Gilbert leaned back in his chair, frowning as well. “I don’t know… I don’t like it. If anyone tried that shit with me, I’d be throwing a fit!” 

Matthew raised an eyebrow looking at him “Yeah… that worked well for yo last time, didn’t it?” 

“Shut up” Gilbert grumbled, pouting. “When are they doing it anyway?” 

“Two more months. January fourteenth…” Matthew sighed and leaned forward to rest his chin on his arms folded on the tabletop.

“Dude, not cool… four days before my birthday!” 

Matthew snorted. “So sorry I’m going to be a downer on your big day?” Gilbert had the good grace to blush slightly, at least.

“That’s not…” He started, looking away with his arms crossed. “I just thought.. ya know… It’s gonna be boring sitting by your bed all day…” 

“Well, you don’t _have_ to stay with me if there’s something else you wanna go have fun doing.” Matthew said with a shrug. They weren’t actually joined at the hip like people liked to joke. 

“And who the hell else would I hang out with? No one else is nearly awesome enough…”

Matthew blushed but smirked. “So I’m ‘awesome’ then?”

Gilbert rolled his eyes. “It’s a good word okay? And yeah… you're okay… not as awesome as me.” He said smirking back.

“Uh-huh… just be careful not to wear the word out…” Matthew said with a smile.

Gilbert scoffed. “As if I’d ever be that lame” 

-

The next visit happened only weeks before Christmas, and Matthew wasn’t sure if he was looking forward to it. Usually he loved when Mr.Kirkland came, but this time… He was just so nervous about next month's events he was worried it would show. 

But the visit wasn’t today. No.. today was… well... nothing. The teachers had gone for winter break leaving only Omega’s and the caretaking staff in the Haven. Matthew was sitting on his bed, looking at a book he’d read six times and sighing every few breaths. It was earning him dirty looks from the older Omega in the bed next to his, but he didn’t care. 

Gilbert had a doctors appointment and It was taking _forever_. It felt like he had been waiting hours for his friend to get out and he was so bored. He snapped the book closed with a huff, giving up on it. It wasn’t getting him anywhere. He’d probably scanned the same page six times now. He rolled onto his back staring at the ceiling with a hand threaded in his hair. 

Is this what it was going to be like after he turned eighteen? If he was lucky he’d be stuck in a house. If he was unlucky he’d be stuck in a single room. At that, what if Gilbert was right? What if Alfred only came to see him during heats? He was going to die of boredom if he had to sit alone day after day! 

Great… now he felt crappy. Only eight years and there would be no Gilbert, possibly no Alfred except for once every three months, Mr. Kirkland probably wouldn’t even visit him anymore. He frowned and stared at the ceiling miserably. That’s what all these lessons are for right? Give you something to do while you pop out kids. At least, if Mr. Kirkland was any indication, there would be plenty of books.

It was half an hour of pessimism later that he felt a weight drop down next to him on the bed. Matthew looked over to see Gilbert, smirking down at him. “They’re taking me off the pills.” Matthew grinned at the news, shifting to lean back on his elbows. 

“That’s great Gil!” he said brightly, and maybe a little too loud… The Omega next to him made a sound of irritation, gathering her stuff and storming out of the room. “Oops?” He said with a shrug after the door slammed behind her. 

“Whatever, she’s always crabby.” Gil rushed, waving his hand in the direction of the door, “ But that’s not important! The awesome me is free!” he paused “well… free.. ish…” The smirk was starting to settle into a glare.. 

Matthew tried to push it off. “What did they say about it though? Is that what took so long?” 

Gilbert shrugged, frown still in place “They had this whole spiel about me showing ‘Marked improvement in attitude’ and made sure to repeat about twenty times that they’d put me back on if i caused trouble…” Any excitement he had had from being pill free was quickly being crushed by the memory that he was still very much stuck. 

Matthew gave a sympathetic frown. He felt bad for his friend. Really, he did. Gilbert was still fairly new to the haven and the restrictive lifestyle it forced on them. He completely understood why Gilbert had that look like someone taken away his puppy… but really, by that point Matthew had had just about enough moping for the day, and he didn’t think Sad Gil was the best way to celebrate the news. Experimentally he poked Gilbert's side. The Albino jerked away, “Ah! What the hell!?” 

Matthew snickered, “You’re ticklish.” 

Gilbert's eyes went wide. “No… Matthew no- Ahhaha!” Gilbert squirmed as Matthew started his attack, fingers brushing over the others side. “No~!” Gilbert laughed loudly, then growled. “Alright! That’s it!” He cried before launching himself to Matthew, pinning him and tickling back just as good with a huge grin. Soon both Omegas filled the room with sounds of laughter and pleas to 'stop I can't breathe'. 

-

“And what the hell did you think you were doing?!” Matthew sunk further down and flinched as Arthur scolded him. 

The tickle fight, while being fun… had turned just a little dangerous. Matthew had tried to uproot Gilbert, who wound up tipping off the bed and dragging Matthew with him. Matthew had hit his head on the corner of the dresser, while landing on top of Gilbert. Luckily, the white haired Omega only wound up with a bruise on his hip, and with no benefactor yet… he had no Alpha to yell at him. Unlike Matthew…

“What if you had done worse than you did?! You’re lucky to have got out of it with a bump, a few stitches and a night of observation!”

“I’m sorry..” Matthew half whispered, shaking under the smell of aggression and disapproval that was flooding the room. “It was an accident…” 

“Damn straight, you're sorry!” Arthur growled and Matthew whimpered, tears escaping his eyes and dribbling down his cheeks. “I get a bloody call in the middle of a meeting, telling me my Omega is getting stitches because he was _horse playing_ and he was the one to initiate it!”  
If Matthew had thought Mr.Kirkland was ever mad at him before this, he now understood how wrong h'ed been…

“And not only did you damage yourself, you marked up another Omega just in time for his viewing!” Arthur spat before walking to the counter. He poured a cup of tea and muttered more to himself than to Matthew. “It’s a damn good thing he wasn’t claimed yet, _that_ would have been a disaster.”

Matthew felt horrible. The pair had, of course, been lectured. Lucky for them, Matthew's decision to take the blame prevented Gilbert from having to go back onto the pills.. but it landed him in this room two days later with his ticked off Alpha benefactor growling at him. And then of course there was his sore head... 

“In the future I expect you to use a shred of sense!” Matthew flinched as Arthur set Matthew's tea down , his green eyes narrowed and authoritative.

“Yes, sir.” 

Arthur sighed, irritation evident in his tone as he retrieved his tea and sat at the table. He picked up the cup and sipped. When he spoke again there was subtle acid in his voice. “I just hope, Matthew, that you can start behaving. I would hate to think Alfred got an Omega who was only good at causing trouble.” 

Matthew felt the sting of those words so more then the scolding. Tears flowing silently, but constantly now. He was a bad Omega. He couldn’t even follow the few simple rules to keep Mr.Kirkland happy. He was failing.

\--

Matthew redoubled his efforts following the meeting. The tension had not eased the entire two hours Arthur was there. It had started out in despair, but Matthew came out of it determined to do his best, be his best. The whole next month was a blur as he worked to be a perfect Omega. He finished every bite of food at every meal, went to bed on the dot, walked slower than ever down the stairs, and started working on two new songs he thought Mr.Kirkland would enjoy. 

It was a bit draining, working to make sure he followed every rule to the T, but luckily, he had Gilbert beside him as he went. The two Omegas didn’t have anymore potentially deadly tickle fights, but they did continue their usual not so dangerous activities. Playing cards, practicing on the piccolo and flute and generally just talking and joking with each other. 

Gilbert changed a little once the medication was out of his system. He seemed more animated and, frankly, louder. It scared some of the other Omega, but not Matthew. He was already so used to Gilbert. The volume and energy increase only served to keep him in good enough spirits to get through his days. It was hard not to feel energetic and determined with that cocky smirk practically daring him to keep going. 

By the time January 13th rolled around, Matthew had managed to maintain his weight. He'd even added an extra pound. His head was completely healed, (as was Gilbert's bruise). He also managed to perfect one of the two songs he had started on both his flute, and with his voice. However that night he was not thinking of his accomplishments, or how proud he was of hitting that high note so sweetly. He had other things to consider.

In the morning the van would be taking him away from the haven and down to a nearby hospital. Mr. Kirkland would meet him there before everything got started. His stomach twisted into knots. Surgery, and the possibility of a disappointed look on his benefactors face. It was almost too much.

Gilbert stuck even closer to him that day, arm tossed around Matthew’s shoulders whenever he needed it, jokes being told in rapid fire, playing Matthew’s favourite card game. Behind all the smiles and cheering he was doing the white haired Omega looked like he was stressed too. It wasn’t a surprise, Gilbert had snuck in little comments about his disapproval of the whole thing since day one… but he looked almost as worried as Matthew. 

The pair laid out across Matthew’s bed after everyone had given up on trying to get Matthew to eat dinner that night. Matthew was on his stomach, looking over the edge of the bed at the floor with a nervous frown. Gilbert next to him laying on his back, his head hanging off the bed taking in the world at an upside down perspective. 

“You nervous?” Gilbert asked, as he stared off at bed next to Matthew’s.

“Yup.” Matthew answered unblinkingly. 

“I’m sure it’ll be okay.. It's a simple procedure right?” Gilbert’s face was tight as he spoke. It mirrored Matthew’s throat. He couldn’t make a sound, so he just nodded. 

Gilbert rolled his head to the side, and made eye contact with his friend. The blonde Omega sniffled, unable to keep it back anymore. He dropped his face into his hands and cried. There was a shuffling sound, and Matthew felt himself being pulled up to sit. He didn’t resist, even as arms wrapped around him. He could only cling to his friend and cried into his shoulder. “Shhh… it’s gonna be okay.” Gilbert soothed. “You’re gonna come out just fine, because the awesome me says so.” Matthew hiccuped out a small laugh through his sobs holding onto the other Omega tighter.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If updates slow down a bit, It's because I'm packing to move! gonna be a busy month getting that ready! 
> 
> Either way, Thank you again to my wonderful Beta. enjoy lovelies!

Matthew hadn’t even realized that he had fallen asleep. He woke up still dressed in his uniform and curled up next to Gilbert in the small bed. He peeked over, trying not to wake his sleeping friend, then looked at the clock. There was only about ten minutes until he had to leave. 

Well… no one had come to get him yet… Maybe they forgot? Maybe Mr.Kirkland had changed his mind? Maybe- 

“Matthew,” Matthias' soft voice broke through the darkness as he cracked the door to the Omega's open. Matthew didn’t respond or move when he heard the Beta's footsteps. He closed his eyes and only pretended to be asleep, but jumped just the same when a hand came to rest on his shoulder.  
“Shhh," Matthias said softly, "It's time to get up, Matthew.”   
Matthew opened his eyes and looked up reluctantly before nodding. He carefully crawled out of bed, trying not to disturb Gilbert, but the other Omega groaned and whined at the loss of a warm body. Matthew turned and tucked the blanket around him, hoping to stop the cold air from waking him up. 

Matthias was already grabbing gym sweats and a t-shirt out of Matthew’s dresser and packing it into a small bag. Toothbrush, brush, socks.. While Matthias was busy packing, Matthew changed into a tshirt and a comfortable pair of bottoms. No uniform for him today. No classes. He trembled a bit as Matthias took his hand and they headed for the lit hallway.  
After only a few steps down the stairs, Matthew stopped and looked back at the bedroom door. Should he have woken Gilbert up to say goodbye? What if something bad happened and he never came back? This wasn’t like the old school he used to attend where any Omega could expect any other Omega to disappear overnight. Matthew was supposed to be back in three days... but what if Mr. Kirkland had other plans.. and he never saw Gilbert again?

But Matthew barely had time to think about this as Matthias ushered him towards the lobby of the haven. He counted himself lucky that he had gotten the kind, gentle Beta for company during the trip. He was lighthearted enough to make Matthew smile with small jokes, even a little as they left the Haven and climbed into a waiting car.

It took half an hour to reach the hospital. Matthias kept talking to him about different things - how he was doing with his music, what his favourite games to play were, his favourite books. Matthew tried to stay engaged in the conversation, but had spent most of the trip chewing on the inside of his lip. When the car pulled up to the hospital, Matthias stepped out and reached in to help the Omega. Matthew’s bag was slung over the beta’s shoulder as they walked through the sliding glass doors and headed directly to the elevator that would take them to the Omega floor.

The hospital floors were segregated. Sick or injured Alphas were kept as far from the Omega floor as possible for obvious reasons. Security was tight as well. Matthew and Matthias were both checked over by security guards before they were admitted.

Mr. Kirkland stood at the check-in desk with his phone to his ear as he spoke to someone in harsh tone. When Matthew saw him he hid slightly behind Matthias as they drew closer and stood quietly while they waited for the Alpha to finish his conversation.

“No, Alfred. I’ve already said no, and I won’t say it again!”   
Matthew’s ears perked up as he heard the slightly muffled voice on the other end of the receiver.  
“Awe come on, Dad! Just this once!”   
Matthew’s chest got tight. Alfred’s voice… That was Alfred’s voice on the phone! Mr. Kirkland turned his head and noticed Matthew and the Beta, nodding to them as he kept talking

“Look, I’m very busy at the moment. We will discuss this when I get home!” 

“But dad I jus-”

“No! Now get ready for school, or you’ll be late!” Arthur hung up the phone and sighed in frustration, but then smiled gently at Matthew. “Hello, lad.”

Matthew eyes were still set on the phone in Arthur's hand. When he didn't respond right away, Matthias nudged him. He blinked and looked up at his Alpha benefactor.. and felt all his nerves from their last meeting coming back.  
“Hello, Sir” He said quietly, still hiding partially behind the tall Beta. 

Arthur frowned, with an eyebrow raised, “Really lad, I won’t bite.” He sighed as he silently signaled the Beta to move. Matthias stepped away and Matthew was left exposed. His cheeks darkened and he worried his bottom lip as he looked down.

“I hear,” Arthur started again, his voice gentle and soothing, “that you’ve been a well behaved Omega this month.”   
Matthew peeked up through his lashes to see a smile on Mr.Kirkland’s face.   
“He sure has been!” Matthias threw in with a big grin. Matthew looking sideways at him and blushed harder.

Arthur placed his hand on Matthew’s head affectionately. “See, pet? I knew you could do it if you put your mind to it.” He ruffled Matthew’s curls before looking back over his shoulder at the nurses behind the check-in desk. “Right then. I’ve checked you in already. Everything is set. You room is right this way.” 

Matthew followed Mr.Kirkland down the hallway, passing a number of rooms where a number of Omega lay in their beds. At the end of the hallway was a private room, and Mr. Kirkland guided him inside. It was a big, bright room. A large window took up most of the far wall, and not far in the distance there was a river flowing, lined with trees. Matthew could see the sun starting to rise over the leaves.  
It was a lovely room, despite the strange, sterile hospital smell. It was almost peaceful, if you didn't pay attention to the voice over the loudspeaker calling for 'Doctor so-and-so, please come to emergency'.  
Matthew's mind drifted, and he imagined himself down at the rivers edge, dipping his toes in the water and just enjoying the fresh air.

It wasn't long before he was pulled from his daydream by the reality of what was about to happen.  
“Matthew Williams?” Matthew blinked and turned to see a smiling nurse standing at the doorway. “I’m here to help you get changed and get you prepped to go down, okay?”   
Matthew swallowed hard and nodded. He watched as the nurse took a paper gown from a drawer. Nervously, he glanced at Mr. Kirkland. He was accustomed Matthias, or other the other Beta orderlies seeing him naked. They supervised the baths, after all… but an Alpha…   
The nurse sensed his discomfort when she handed Matthew his gown.  
“Sir," she said to Arthur, "If you wouldn't mind stepping just outside the room until we have Matthew here all dressed up and ready?” Her voice and smile were cheerful. Arthur gave her a curt nod and looked to Matthew again.  
“I’ll be right outside the door, lad.”   
Matthew nodded shyly and watched as the Alpha left the room. The curtain around the bed was quickly drawn and the nurse stripped him of all his clothes. As she tied the gown shut at the back of his neck, Matthias gathered his clothing and tucked them back into the bag. Matthew was then helped into the bed and tucked under the covers.

Arthur was given the ok to come back into the room just as the nurse was checking his vitals. Blood pressure, heart rate, etc. Matthew watched as she pulled over a tall metal pole on wheels with an IV bag hanging from it.   
“Alfred doesn’t like needles much either.” Arthur said, watching as the needle was inserted into the little Omega's vein, then carefully secured to his arm with tape. Matthew glanced over to the chair the Alpha had settled in to and offered a small smile.  
“I don’t mind them so much… other things are worse.” He cringed at the memory of the internal exam of his slicking gland. “I’m just scared about what goes into the needle…” His voice faded.. he knew the medicine to put him to sleep would go in there.. and he knew once he was asleep that they would start cutting….  
He clenched his eyes shut and suppressed a shudder of fear.  
It took only five more minutes until everything was set. The nurse gave him a comforting pat on the head, smiled at him, then disappeared to go check on the progress of the OR.   
The Alpha, the Beta, and the small omega sat in the bright room to do nothing but wait for when it was time. Matthew was quiet, but his hands were clenched tightly in the blankets. He wished he could hear the birds chirping outside. The breeze in the trees. But all he could hear was another call for a doctor in the hallway. He could hear a heart monitor beeping somewhere down the hall. He could hear an Omega crying softly while a nurse tried to comfort her.

The smell Matthew's fear began to flood the room.

Matthias appeared beside him, sitting on the bed and wrapping an arm loosely around “It’ll be okay Kiddo, you’ll go to sleep, and be up again before you know it”

Arthur cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. He seemed uncomfortable with the smell in the room. " It’s a good thing we’re getting this done now, pet." The doctor had said his scent was developing quickly, almost at the full strength a heating Omega should be… though his hips were still behind so there was no nailing down the timeline. 

Matthew blushed and looked down. And It didn’t help at all when the nurse came back into the room and actually stumbled, bringing a hand to her nose against the smell. “Now now… there's no need to be nervous , hun. You're in the best of care with us,” she said sweetly as she neared him and began stroking his hair. She turned to Arthur. “The orderlies will be here to pick him up in two minutes, so I’ll leave you to your ‘see you later’s, alright?” She gave a final stroke of Matthew’s hair before leaving the room. 

Arthur watched as she left before standing and walking over to the bed, “Well lad, I have some business to attend to around town, but I’ll be back by this afternoon. ” he ruffled Matthew's hair. 

“Okay Mr. Kirkland…” Matthew said, forcing himself to give a small smile.

“Is there anything you’d like me to pick up for you? A new book perhaps?” Arthur suggested, his voice sounding forced to be stiff and unconcerned. He began to shrug into his jacket.

“Yes please, sir,” Matthew said quietly staring at his hands in his lap. He was going to be stuck here in the hospital for three days. A new book to help him pass the time would be nice. 

Arthur nodded. “Right, I’ll see to that then.” 

He hesitated, looking as though he did not want to leave the room. But then he closed his eyes, sighed, and straightened his back. He patted Matthew on the head.  
“You’ll be just fine, lad. I’ll see you when you wake up.”   
And with that, Arthur was gone.

Matthew gazed at Mattias. The Beta tweaked his nose and gave him a grin. an orderly came into the room soon after. Matthias' stepped back and let him do his work. The wheels were shifted into place and taken off their brakes. The metal railings on either side of the bed were pulled up. He asked Matthew to lay down and relax as best he could for the trip to the OR.  
Matthew layed back and pulled the blanket up to his nose so that only his eyes were left to peek out. Matthias appeared over his head, smiling down at him with encouragement.  
“You're gonna be just fine, Matthew,” He said, “Keep your chin up. It’ll all be over before you know it.” Matthew did his best to nod as the orderly pushed his bed from it's spot and wheeled him out into the hall.  
The ride down was uneventful, aside from the fact that his stomach was doing backflips. Not having had breakfast before surgery turned out to be a very good rule. 

Then they rounded a corner and went through a pair of large, grey doors. Waiting for him was a scary scene. A large cold looking table in the middle of the room with overhead lights all around it. There were machines everywhere, and to him they looked like some crazy, horrible torture devices. He whimpered and sunk as far as he could down under the covers. His wide, violet eyes took in everything the nurses did to prep the room, his bed, and themselves in their full body covers, gloves and masks.

“Hello, Matthew,” came a voice from beside him. It was a little loud maybe, but sounded friendly. Matthew could only squeak in response.   
“It’s time to help you up on the table, my boy.” His face was covered by a mask, but by the way his eyes crinkled in the corners, Matthew could tell he was smiling. By this point there was no way he could smile in return.. only nod and accept the help down from his bed. 

He was lifted and placed the table. Gloved hands guided him to lay back as the nurses shuffled here and there. He listened to them while staring up at the lights above. He shivered at the cold of the metal table beneath him. A few moments later, the doctors head appeared over his once more.  
“Hello again,” the doctor said, his tone still cheerful. “Arthur told me you like to read.” Matthew nodded in response. “Good! books are wonderful aren’t they? Now, tell me Matthew, what is your favourite story?” 

Matthew blinked and thought through all the books he had read with a thoughtful frown. “I like Alice in wonderland” 

“That’s a good one.” The doctor said, his eyes crinkling more. “So, do you think you can imaging Alice going down the rabbit hole while I count down from twenty?”

“Okay…” Matthew said nervously. 

“Alright, close your eyes and start to Imagine everything you might pass as you tumble down to wonderland. twenty, nineteen, eighteen, seventeen…” Matthew imagined, he saw mirrors, jars of jam, books, all sorts of strange little things… “fourteen, thirteen..” The voice felt further away… he felt so tired… “ten, nine, eight….”

Matthew fell asleep. 

\--

Matthew groaned and winced, his throat was sore and dry. He tried to open his eyes but squinted against the light. “Wha- what?” He croaked, trying to shift before letting out a small moan of pain at the movement. 

“Matthew?”   
He cracked an eye open at the voice, and saw Mr. Kirkland sitting next to his bed. 

“What happened?” Matthew asked, brows furrowed in confusion. Everything was so fuzzy… 

“You’ve just gotten out of surgery. Everything went well, you came out just fine, lad.” Arthur said. Matthew blinked his eyes until he was able to open them through to see the Alpha smiling. “You were asleep a little longer than expected, but they assure me it’s nothing to worry about.” 

Matthew groaned, he was slowly becoming more aware, and with that came discomfort and upset. He hurt, and he felt dizzy… He couldn’t focus. He sniffled wanting something… something warm and soft.  
He was so groggy and confused.. and in need of.. of..   
Arthur spoke softly, a hand brushed Matthew's hair back. "Is there anything I can get you, lad?"  
Matthew turned his head and breathed in deeply, smelling the Alpha and the comforting, calming scent that surrounded him. It smelled nice. It.. cleared his mind just enough to know what he wanted. His words were slurred as he spoke. "Alfred... blanket? " He was too drugged to be embarrassed by his request, though under normal circumstances he never could have asked.

Arthur raised an eyebrow in amusement. "I don't tend to carry one of those with me... but hold on a tick, pet. I'll be right back with something."   
Matthew nodded, closing his eyes again. The corner of his mouth twitched up as he thought of the blonde Alpha. Matthew knew his picture Album was in his bag, but he didn’t need it. He'd memorized Alfred's face.

Arthur returned ten minutes later. "Here, lad,” He said gently. Matthew opened his eyes to see the Alpha standing there, holding out a blue hooded jacket.   
“He left this in the car yesterday."   
Matthew reached out to take it from Arthur and closed his fingers around it. He barely hesitated before bringing it to his face and inhaling. The smell of a young, healthy Alpha hit his nose and he hummed contentedly. "Thank you," he said quietly, and hugged the jacket to him. Buried his face into it, breathing in it's comforting scent.

“Anything else?” Arthur asked as he sat back down in the chair next to the bed. Matthew shook his head.  
“Can I sleep?” He asked softly, calmed by the smell of the Jacket and whatever drugs were still running through his system.   
“The nurses are going to come in the check on you soon, but it shouldn’t hurt to get some sleep.” Arthur said gently. Matthew hummed, and was already drifting off again. 

Over the next two days Mr.Kirkland came a few times, bringing books and treats. Matthew was grateful for the company… He felt sore and lonely, weirded out by the fact that part of his own body was now gone. He only got up to walk around a few times a day - apparently it would help him heal - but he thought it only made him more sore! The hospital food was awful too. The first day he wasn’t even allowed solids, only broth and meal replacement shakes. But he did his best to eat everything given, despite the taste. He was not about to risk being stuck in here longer because they thought something was wrong with his stomach! 

Only when he had woken up completely that first day, had he realized he was in possession of his future Alpha’s Jacket. It wasn't long before he'd put it on, surrounding himself by the smell and the warmth. It was big on him… Alfred’s arms and torso were longer, and if Matthew stood up, it hung around him almost like a dress. The size really only served to comfort him more as he let his imagination run during the times he was alone in his room. 

It wasn’t until he was getting ready to go back to the Haven on the last day of the hospital stay, that his image of Alfred started to crack. 

Arthur was supervising as Matthias made his way around the room, packing up everything Matthew had brought, and everything Mr.Kirkland had brought to him. Matthew was seated on the bed, dressed in a pair of sweatpants and Alfred's hoody.  
“Isn’t it nice to have this all over and done with?” Arthur said with a gentle smile. 

Matthew returned the smile to a lesser degree. Yes, he was glad it was over… but he still was torn on the fact that part of him had been removed. “Yeah, I guess it is.” He whispered before adding, “Thank you for coming to see me while I was here, sir.” 

Arthur smiled fondly as Matthias finished packing. “Ahh, Matthew my boy. We’ve had a few problems with you,” He said as he stood, “But I really do think you are going to make the perfect first Omega for Alfred. God help any of the ones after you… struggling to measure up.” 

Matthew’s face fell. ....First Omega? The ones after him? There were going to be more? His visions of a romantic movie-style love life was starting to tarnish. 

It’s wasn't that he didn’t know things like this happened in the top of society.. High class Alphas would take on three or four Omegas, assuring more reproduction. The more Omegas born into their family, the more money they received to in turn, buy more Omegas. It was a cycle… Matthew just hadn’t considered the Kirkland family might be one of those families. His heart sank… Gilbert was right… He really was going to be stuffed into a little room and shut away from the world. He would only see another human when he was fed, or when his heats came.  
“Matthew?”   
With tears in his eyes, Matthew looked up at the large Beta who was giving him an understanding, sad smile.   
“It’s time to go back now. We’re all ready, and the van is waiting.” Matthew nodded numbly, letting the Matthias help him off the bed to stand. 

He turned to Mr.Kirkland, forcing a sweet smile, “Good bye, Mr.Kirkland.” 

A hand landed on his head, ruffling his hair. “I’ll see you in a few months lad, I’ll write before then to check up on your recovery.” 

“Thank you, sir” Matthew said quietly before he was gently ushered out the door, and towards the elevator.

Matthew sat gingerly on the special pillow the hospital had given him once he got in the van. He stared out the window at the passing buildings and scenery. Matthias sat beside him, and when the first sniffle broke, the Beta’s arm wrapped around his shoulders. Matthew shifted carefully, leaning into him. Matthias' took his hand and squeezed it in silent comfort as Matthew cried. 

When he arrived home, he wanted nothing more than to curl up on his bed and talk to his friend until he fell asleep. He had missed Gilbert while he was gone. The hospital was too quiet without the albino cackling or making jokes, spinning ridiculous ideas, talking to cards as if they were people while making card houses. But he also knew, if no one else would, Gilbert would understand his upset. He wouldn’t be the type to say ‘i told you so’ either, Not when Matthew was so upset. 

But when he got back to the room, Gilbert's bed was perfectly made and empty. His things were still there, but every other Omega in their room was already sitting in there, quietly working on things. Why wasn’t Gilbert here? He wouldn’t have gone into the library. He knew Matthew was coming home today… Was he mad that Matthew hadn’t woken him to say goodbye? 

Once Matthias had finished settling him into his bed gingerly, The blonde Omega turned to the girl in the bed next to his frowning “Do you know where Gilbert is?” 

She looked over with a raised eyebrow. “Isn’t it obvious where he is?” Matthew frowned and shook his head no.

The girl sighed and rolled her eyes. “He went into his first heat.”   
“What?! When?!” Matthew gasped his eyes wide.  
“An hour after you left.”  
Stunned, Matthew’s eyes widen and he sat up a little too fast, cringing at the pain it brought, but it did little to shake him from the shock of the news of his friend. Gilbert.. was in heat. That means they'd taken him to one of the heat rooms. He was there now, going through this all all on his own.  
Matthew lay back on his head and stared at the ceiling. He hoped Gilbert was handling it alright. It also brought up the question that constantly nagged in his mind. Gilbert was only turning eleven tomorrow… The doctor had said ten or eleven was early, but with Matthew’s scent being so strong already… how much longer it would be before his own first heat would come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If y'all have any questions, feel free to ask. It is from Mattie's POV so obviously he's not going to know everything. But things like, the doctor talking to him was an Anesthesiologist and the pillow was a donut pillow.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god! This month has been a nightmare guys! between packing, I've also had a tremendous amount of stuff dropped on me... so Again, I apologize if my updates are slow. Once I'm moved and settled It'll pick back up! 
> 
> Again, Thank you to my lovely Beta! she catches my mistakes and add a little something extra!

Matthew spent the four days Gilbert was in the basement heat rooms in complete boredom and worry. Because he needed time to heal from his surgery he had to avoid the stairs as much as possible. That meant once he was upstairs in the bedroom in the evening, he had to stay put. There was no wandering the halls, no going down to the library, no nothing. It left far too much time for thinking and worrying.

He kept finding his mind wandering to his albino friend. What was Gilbert going through? Matthew combed through his pamphlets again, searching for information, but it only made him worry more. The pamphlets talked about pain, discomfort, a full body burning sensation… needs… He didn’t even want to go down that avenue. In short, the information he'd been provided with only explained the physical part of a heat. It told him nothing about what Gilbert might be thinking.. and that left Matthew with one nagging question. He knew Omega's called for their Alpha to come and relieve them of their pain. But what if an Omega didn’t have a promised Alpha? Who would they call for? Just any old Alpha? Matthew cringed at the thought. That sounded dangerous. But that wasn't something he'd have to worry about.. he’d be calling for Alfred, right? Matthew's face exploded into a bright red blush at the thought. Oh god! he was going to go through this too! 

Finally, after the fourth day, Gilbert was finished with his heat. He was escorted into the shared bedroom by a Beta. He looked completely exhausted and even a little shaky on his feet. It was past lights out, so he went straight to his bed and collapsed with a groan, his hair still damp from the bath. Once the Beta left, Matthew got up, snuck his way across the room and whispered in the darkness. 

“Gil?” He sat on the edge of the bed. “You okay?” He asked tentatively. He was unsure of what else to say. Did you say 'I'm sorry' to an Omega who just went through a heat without an Alpha?

Gilbert looked up at him, eyes rimmed with red and his cheeks tinged pink. This contrast to his normally snowy pale skin was dark enough so that it was visible by the dim light of the night light beside Gilbert's bed. The other Omega quickly looked away, clearly embarrassed. Matthew looked at him with sympathy. “I’m fine..” Gilbert whispered back, “...j-just tired.” 

Matthew nodded as if he understood, but he didn't. He leaned down to hug his friend, forcing out a squeak from the albino.“I’m glad your back out, Gil.. we’ll do something tomorrow for your birthday, okay?” Gilbert nodded, eyes still cast down, rolling to his side, to face away from Matthew once he was released. Matthew stood and went back to his own bed. He lay down and stared up into the darkness, but it wasn’t very long before he fell asleep.

The next morning Matthew woke up to find Gilbert's bed empty. He frowned, then rubbed the sleep from his eyes before pushing his blankets away. If it weren’t for Gilbert's unmade bed with rumpled sheets he’d have thought the other Omega's return had been a dream. 

Later in the day, Matthew caught up to him during their classes. He seemed distant, nervous and quiet. After classes, he even turned down Matthew's offer of a game of cards or checkers in favour of just simply going to bed early. Matthew felt terrible for him. Heats must be a horrible thing to go through... 

A week passed, and Gilbert had begun to settled back into himself. Matthew had been worried at his out of character behaviour. Gilbert hadn't been able to even meet his eyes in the first few days after his heat.. but eventually Matthew realized a first heat was a traumatic event. It wasn't a surprise at all to discover that an Omega might change a bit after one. But for the most part, Gilbert had gone back to being himself. He played games with Matthew and laughed. They talked about Matthew's surgery, about their classes, and all the things they normally talked about. They practiced the piccolo together, and did their best to pass the time. Matthew hoped Gilbert was now prepared for when his next heat came. He hoped it wouldn’t leave his friend feeling so off balance now he knew what to expect.

Unfortunately though, it seemed, Gilbert was never quite prepared. As the next year and a half passed, Matthew learned to expect at least a week of awkwardness nervousness from Gilbert after he went through a heat. Though he was sorely curious, Matthew never asked Gilbert what it was like for him, locked away . His poor friend seemed so embarrassed about it. And of course all the other Omega's over the age of eleven knew what was happening. They all knew it when one of their number was quickly whisked away downstairs to the heat rooms. Thankfully it only happened once every three months, though in the early years, it was hard to pin it down exactly to the day. The warning signs were, however, monitored around the expected date.

As the time passed, their bodies had grown. Gilbert was faster than Matthew. He was growing taller every month, making him look lanky. His hips would eventually develop further, but the Beta orderlies said he was going to be a slender beauty one day (Much to his dismay). Matthew didn’t grow very tall at all. He only hit four foot eleven by the time of his twelfth birthday. His hips, however, had filled out quite nicely, and his stomach had a pleasant softness to it. 

Along with Matthew’s growth came resentment. Arthur pushed continuously for Matthew to maintain a desired set of measurements as he slowly grew. The Alpha wouldn't stand for an inch to be lost. He was quite strict about eating and calorie intake. For every centimeter Matthew gained in height, more food was piled on his plate at each meal. Matthew tried his best, but his appetite wasn't as big as it seemed to need to be to keep up with Arthur's demands.

It was the visit before Matthew's birthday, he would be twelve in a few weeks, moving up into a new class age group. He had been a little grumpy the past six months. On top of the nerves about heats, and anxiety over keeping his figure up to Mr.Kirkland’s standards, he also had been without Gilbert in classes. 

Gilbert seemed to be in a similar mood, since the albino hit twelve first, he had been bumped up into that age group and not one of them were near as tolerant of Gilbert's... 'outgoing' personality as Matthew was. The Beta teachers hadn't wanted to split the pair up, but rules were rules. They paid extra attention to both the Omegas, comforting them as best they could. The even tried to arrange for an early transfer of Matthew into the older age group, but the headmistress of the Haven had put her foot down. 

The split wasn’t completely unreasonable of her,Matthew could admit… Together they were loud and childish in their playtime. They'd been disruptive at times, and the other Omega’s were exhausted by their presence. Besides.. now that Gilbert was going into heats, it was time for him to 'grow up' and begin to behave as a proper Omega should. Quiet, reserved, obedient. Otherwise he might never be selected by an Alpha and purchased. She had hoped the six month break from one and other would do the trick. 

As far as the teacher were concerned, however, disruptive was better than what they got instead,. Gilbert was moody and snappish. Matthew was sullen and passive aggressive. Their attention in classes went down. The beautiful flute and piccolo duet they had been working on together was forgotten. Matthew became lazy and didn't care to even try to paint or sing. Gilbert was gradually becoming like he had been when he'd first come to the haven and flat out refused to do anything. 

Because of this, it really wasn't the best time for a visit with his benefactor. Matthew sat in the visitation room, staring at his tea cup as he waited for Arthur to arrive. He was dressed in his uniform, the pleated skirt tucked neatly beneath him. Mr.Kirkland seemed to prefer him dressed this way, and Matthew would shamelessly use anything he had not to get lectured. 

During his last examination, the doctor told him he'd lost an inch from his hips. He could tell because his skirt was a little loose. And this on top of his stubborn laziness of late. He knew Arthur was going to read about it in the doctor's report, and for the hundredth time he sighed. He could already hear the Alpha's voice in his head. 'I laid out simple rules for you!' - 'Honestly, is it so hard to eat, Matthew?' - 'I expect better from you from now on!' - 'What would Alfred say?'

Matthew slouched in his seat. Alfred... what would he say? And why would it even matter what he said? Matthew was just going to be one of his many Omegas. Just because he was going to be the first didn't mean he was special. He was just a test run. When he was all used up, there would be another one waiting. They probably wouldn’t even wait until Matthew 's body was exhausted from having babies before bringing in a second Omega to take his place. Matthew would become a broken and forgotten toy in no time. Arthur came in just as Matthew wiped away a bitter tear at the thought. 

"There's no point in crying over it, lad." Mr. Kirkland stated as he closed the door behind himself. "Crying is not going to fix this, is it? " 

And it began. A half an hour of the same lecture he got every time Matthew dropped a pound or an inch. Sometimes', when the drop came between visits, the lectures instead were given in letters that Matthew could just skim through. But having to sit through them in person were so much worse. He did his best to mumble out apologies, trying to look regretful, when really all he just wanted was to roll his eyes and plug his ears.

 

"Really, Matthew, at this rate, what do you expect me to do? You're worrying me, lad." The last words sounded tacked on. Matthew had started to wonder, ever since his surgery, If Gilbert had been right. Maybe Mr.Kirkland didn’t _really_ care. Maybe this was all an act.

"I'm sorry Mr. Kirkland... I'll try and do better." Matthew said quietly, his head bowed in submission as he was taught, But he was unable to hide the hint of irritation that had been growing in him from his voice. 

The Alpha's green eyes narrowed on him. "I will chalk the cheek up to being hungry, Matthew. God know’s you have to have been starving yourself to do this. You've dropped two pounds as well as the inch around your hips!”

Matthew sighed and looked at the wall. He remembered when he used to anticipate these visits. Now he dreaded them. Perhaps it was teenaged Omega hormones kicking in, or the fact that he barely saw his friend anymore.. Matthew wasn't sure, but he was angry with his benefactor. He wanted this visit to be done now. He tried to hide it, but he was sure his face showed some of his attitude, because Mr.Kirkland suddenly looked very irritated.

“You know Matthew, I don’t have to waste my time driving down here every three months.” the Alpha practically growled, “I’m a very busy man, and there are several things I could do that wouldn’t waste my time along with my money.” 

Matthew cringed at that. A little bit of guilt snuck it's way through the anger. He knew it was true. Arthur didn't have to come and see him. There were plenty of Omega's who never saw or heard from their benefactors at all.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Kirkland” He said as the guilt warred with irritation in him. He gazed down at his tea cup on the table. “I’ve been getting headaches…” 

It wasn’t exactly a lie. he didn’t have one now, but he would get them sometimes throughout his day. The doctor had cleared it as hormonal… a sign his body was getting ready to start a heat within the year. 

Arthur breathed out a long sigh. His tone softened. “Yes well… I can understand how confusing everything must feel for you right now…” 

Matthew peeked up through his bangs. He blushed to see the Alphas ears were tinged pink with slight embarrassment. He knew what Arthur was referring to.  
“It’ll all start to feel a little better once it starts, yes?”

Matthew nodded, but he seriously doubted it. He saw what Gilbert went through every time he was finished with a heat. He knew he probably wouldn't feel any different, even if he _did_ have an Alpha to call out for, but he wasn’t about to argue. 

Matthew’s mood improved greatly in regards to Gilbert once his twelfth birthday passed. Getting to spend more time with his best friend again during classes was great! But.. his fears about his first heat and when it would come was still in the back of his mind at all times, increasing by the day. It wasn't only the heat that was getting under his skin either...

Another visit in September with his Alpha benefactor had him leaving the room in a huff, tears streaming down his face. He'd had managed to gain back the two pouds AND the inch, but did Arthur praise him for it? No. Now Mr.Kirkland was badgering him about his studies. He threatening to take away his flute and piccolo if Matthew didn’t work harder in his voice lessons. Matthew never even _wanted_ to sing in the first place! wasn't this suppose to be about giving him something to do to pass time?! He had been crying and angry and _finally_ the Alpha had dismissed him, exasperated over having to deal with a hormonal Omega, saying as long as he focused, his instruments wouldn't be taken away.

Matthew got back to the dorm, tossing his bag on his bed with a frustrated growl. He felt like stomping his feet and screaming, but at the same time he just wanted to cry. There were too many emotions running through him all at once and it was maddening. He felt another headache starting.

“Somebody’s pre-heating,” came the mocking tone from the Omega in the bed next to his. Matthew turned on her with a scowl, and face red and wet with tears.

“Shut up! I’m n-not!” He cursed as his breath caught the word. 

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Yeah okay… whatever.” 

Matthew was about to give her a piece of his mind when Gilbert stormed into the room. He fell into his bed and let out a groan. “This is so not awesome!” 

The female Omega scoffed and shook her head before looking back down into her book. “Of course you two would sync up.” 

Matthew shot her a dirty look, but he choose to ignore her. He went to Gilbert instead. “What’s wrong?” Matthew asked as he sat down. 

“Some jackass picked me.” Gilbert snapped. Matthew knew it wasn't directed at him, but he cringed anyway. Right… Gilbert had been through another viewing. 

“Well… you knew it would happen eventually…” He said, frowning. At least now maybe Gilbert would receive mail and gifts for his birthday and for Christmas. That’s what Matthew thought of, instead of focusing on the fact that his friend had just been purchased for future breeding. “W-what are they like?” 

“He’s some big ass weirdo! Said he liked my spunk. What the hell is that suppose to mean?!” Matthew put a hand on Gilbert's knee, patting gently. 

The albino huffed and looked at Matthew, taking a deep breath to accommodate the long winded tirade he was about to go into about just what he thought about whoever this stupid Alpha was who'd bought him.. but his mouth shut and his expression became concerned when he looked into Matthew’s eyes. He'd noticed the tear streaks and Matthew’s red nose from crying so long. “You okay?” He asked. 

Matthew shrugged and cast a look over to ‘the bitch in bed two’ as Gilbert often referred to her. Gilbert caught the jist. He pushed himself up and grabbed Matthew's hand. “Come on, let’s go for a walk. I need fresh air.” Matthew nodded, his coat and shoes were still on, so as soon as Gilbert shrugged on his jacket, they left so go walk in the early autumn air. 

They walked around the grounds. The haven was heavily fenced in. Twenty feet of reinforced steel chain link fencing, topped with razor wire surrounded the haven, so there was no excessive need for security guards. That didn't mean there weren't any, of course. Beta orderlies wandered the yard as well, but they watched from a distance. Always keeping an eye out just there in case an Omega got hurt, or a very stupid Alpha tried to scale the fence. 

Gilbert and Matthew wound up in a small grove of young trees. There were a few trees scattered about the yard, providing a little shade in the summer, but they were removed when they grew big enough to climb. Matthew always wondered if the haven had once had bigger trees and if any Omega had climbed one to try and escape.  
“So what happened?” Gilbert asked, drawing him out of his thoughts. They leaned against narrow tree trunks, just hidden from the sight if the Betas. 

“It's Mr. Kirkland… Apparently I’m not working hard enough with the voice teacher or something. He was getting all pissed off and… I dunno… I just couldn’t take it.” Matthew looked down, his eyes tearing up again. “I don’t like when he yells at me.” 

Gilbert nodded, a worried look coming over his face. Matthew blinked and quickly shook his head. “I’m sure they aren’t all mean! Maybe your benefactor will be more patient?” 

Gilbert sighed in frustration, and scowled at the ground. “I don’t want to be owned. I don't like this.” Matthew nodded. He had never agreed with Gilbert when he went on one of his ‘Alpha’s are horrible oppressors!’ rants, but he was starting to agree now. 

“I don’t either.” he said in a small voice. The tears prickled in the corners of his eyes again as all his worries and fears took hold of him. He didn’t want to be taken away at eighteen. He didn't want to be taken away from Gilbert.. so he could become the plaything of some Alpha who would soon own more Omegas then he could count on one hand. He didn’t want to be forced to have babies that could be taken away from him at birth, or worse, that he'd cared for until they were eight years old and tested.. and if they were Omega's, then yanked out of his arms and shoved in a haven just like this one.He felt arms circle around him as his breath caught in a sob. 

“Shhh, I know... “ Gilbert murmured, hugging him tight. 

Matthew gladly accepted the comfort, and wrapped his arms around Gilbert in return. They stayed like that, Matthew crying into Gilbert's shoulder as he felt himself waking from what felt like a drug induced haze that all along had been telling him this was normal and good and _okay_. But it wasn’t… None of this was okay. Nothing was ok.

Eventually Matthew had cried it all out, calming himself down within a half an hour. Gilbert didn’t let go the whole time, and even now he just pulled away enough to look at Matthew. He had a concerned frown. “Matt…” He muttered pulled his coat sleeve down over his hand to wipe the tears from Matthew’s cheeks. Matthew closed his eyes as the albino cleaned his face. When he was done, he opened his eyes again to see Gilbert staring at him intensely. 

“Gil?” Matthew asked, confused at the way the other Omega was moving forward, closer to him than before. A hand cradled his face, and before Matthew knew what was happening there were chapped lips pressed against his gently, but urgently. 

Matthew’s eyes flashed open wide in shock. What was happening?! Why was Gil kissing him?! Was this some crazy dream or something? Then Gilbert's lips moved, cautiously and inexperienced against his. Kissing his bottom lip, then the side of his mouth, then his bottom lip again. Something inside Matthew stirred. He felt some of the fear and anger and stress melting inside him, and he began to kiss Gilbert back.  
He could hear the sharp intake of breath as Gilbert moved back half a second before reconnecting their lips. Matthew's cheeks held tight between Gilbert's soft hands. It felt so nice, maybe a little confusing…. but definitely good. He was just starting to adjust to it when something in him changed quickly. He went from simply enjoying the kiss, to needing it. 

Matthew wrapped his arms around Gilbert's neck, pressing his body against the albino as a small whimper broke into their kiss. Gilbert startled in surprise, hands shaking as his thumb stroked Matthew’s cheek. Suddenly Gilbert froze and pulled away, leaving Matthew panting with a whimper. 

“Oh shit…” He whispered, placing a hand on Matthew’s forehead. He looked into the blondes half lidded eyes. 

Matthew was confused… what was wrong? Why had they stopped? It had felt good to be touched and kissed and he really wanted more… his body ached for it. He wanted… He wanted… “..please..” He moaned quietly. 

Gilbert groaned, putting his suddenly very needy friend at arms length.“Matthew… I think you’re starting a heat.” 

Matthew furrowed his brow, confused. It took a few moments, but then his eyes opened in panic… oh god! No no no! 

“G-gil… w-what do I... “ He whimpered again. It was so hot, and way too bright out beyond the shade of the trees. He was starting to panic, he wanted a nest… i nice safe nest, and he wanted… The flash of Alfred’s smiling face, the smell of the hooded jacket all flashed through his mind. He wanted Alfred… 

“Don’t worry… come on. Let’s find a Beta okay?” Gilbert said as he put an arm around Matthew’s shoulder, letting the Omega bury his head against Gilbert's shoulder to keep them from the harsh light as he pulled him along. They left the grove, flagging down a Beta quickly. Matthew felt he barely had time to blink before he was swept down into the basement and gently put into heat room sixteen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, who saw it coming? ;p


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter bounces a bit with a time skip, then flash back and back story. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it~

It was unbearable. The pain and the agonizing want that pulsed through his body. Matthew felt so wrong like this… so very wrong.. because his body was calling out for something he didn't want. Two and a half years had passed, and this was his tenth heat. Each one had been a special kind of hell. 

He spent them alone in a heat room in the basement of the haven, writhing and twisting in the sheets that made up his nest. He would be soaked in slick and sweat, crying out and moaning until his voice cracked, his throat raw and sore. It was humiliating… but he forced himself to call for the Alpha he didn't know. It was only to be expected - calling out for his future mate to ease his suffering.  
...and God, was he suffering. Matthew felt like every inch of his skin was on fire. “Fuck! Alfred~! Please make it stop~!” He whined breathily, as he buried his face into the sheets of his nest. His hands roamed, blindly trying to find any source of relief they could. At least he knew when his heat was finished, Gilbert would be finished with his heat as well.

Just as The Bitch in Bed Two had predicted, Matthew and Gilbert synced up their heats in no time. If one started their heat, the other was guaranteed to start feeling theirs come within the next twenty four hours. This time Gilbert had gone first. Truthfully, It was better that way. They only had to spend one week apart every three months instead of two. Especially as the two had become… closer... since Gilbert accidentally triggered Matthew’s first heat. 

That heat had been absolutely terrifying, but Matthew was thankful that he had experienced at least some pain in his life previously from both the surgery and being hit by the car . He couldn’t image what it would have been like for an Omega who had never been through more than a headache before their first heat.. how incredibly intense it was. He spent the heat screaming and moaning and begging and crying. He knew what he needed to make it stop, and no one was giving it to him. He honestly had thought he was going to die… 

After the first heat ended, he shook from the exhaustion and the trauma of it. Having your body thrown into complete chaos and pain… it was beyond taxing. A Beta orderly had opened the door for him, leading him out into the light and fresh air. He had been bathed, dressed, and brought up to his bedroom. The whole process was done gently and carefully. Soft voices assured him it was okay now, it was over… that he could sleep and it wouldn’t come back. They told him that Arthur had been informed and was very pleased with the development. He had even sent congratulations gifts for when the young Omega had recovered. But at that point, Matthew was too tired to care about gifts.

The only thing Matthew care about when he was escorted back to the bedroom in the middle of the day, was sleep. He was surprised, and felt a little guilty, when he saw Gilbert sitting on his bed reading a book. The Beta orderly helped Matthew into bed, tucking him in, then left after briefly checking that Gilbert was still okay.  
“I told them I thought I felt a heat coming on… I wanted to make sure I was here when you got back. Make sure you were okay.." was Gilbert's response to Matthew's questioning look. Matthew smiled a bit and nodded, though he was feeling pretty dopey from his need for sleep. Gilbert nodded and continued to gaze at his blonde friend for a few moments before standing awkwardly. “O-okay… I’ll just… leave you then.” 

“Gilly?” Matthew said sleepily, holding a hand out. “Come ‘ere.” Gilbert didn’t hesitate at all as he went to Matthew’s side. Matthew frowned as the Albino took his hand, awkwardly standing over him. “Sit down,” He said with a small pout. Gilbert knelt on the floor. It wasn’t exactly what Matthew wanted but, close enough. “Why did you kiss me?” He asked, bold from his exhaustion. 

Gilbert turned red, looking away. “I… I think… that is… for a while I kinda... “ He sighed looking up sadly in expected rejection. “I like you.” 

Matthew tilted his head slightly before smiling. He shifted to prop himself up on his elbow, swaying a moment as the room spun, then moved forward to clumsily kiss Gilbert again. Their teeth clicking once before Matthew readjusted to a more comfortable position. He could feel the shock run through his friend before tenderness took over and Gilbert kissed back. Matthew broke their kiss and smiled shyly. “I like you too, Gil.” 

That was his secret. His most painful struggle through every heat over the next two and a half years was to keep the name he really wanted to moan off his lips. It was the same struggle Gilbert had already gone through in his own heats. The albino Omega had whispered to him how confused he'd during his first heat… when he started wanting to call for Matthew.. when he imagined doing things with him instead of an Alpha. He had told Matthew every heat he came out feeling like he betrayed their friendship somehow, his heat fueled imagination not letting him think of much else.

Matthew of course hadn’t felt betrayed… maybe a little embarrassed. He had never thought of Gilbert in that way until the kiss. But when the kiss had triggered his first heat, every heat afterwards was full of imaginings. Instead of the soft, willowy omega Gilbert, Matthew found himself imagining his friend with a hard, strong body above his. Imagined him biting down on Matthew’s neck as he plunged in and-

“Oh God~!” Matthew moaned and came over the already slick soaked sheets again, but he could only sob as it brought no relief. He needed to be touched, filled, fucked… none of this was any use! Two more days… just two more days of this hell… then he was free for another three months! 

-

Matthew was allowed out of the heat room thirty-five hours later. He was toweling off after a long, soothing bath. He was used to his heats enough now that he could bathe himself afterwards, making sure his body was clean and fresh. There was, of course ,still supervision, but that was normal enough. The past six years of his life had been supervised. He dropped his towel into the laundry basket and grabbed his underwear from a neatly folded pile of his clothing. Once the underwear were in place, he reached for a skirt. Pants just weren’t very comfortable right after a heat… certain areas were tender and the seams of a pair of pants might chafe. Gilbert always opted for pants, and Matthew never understood how.

He sighed as he turned to a nearby mirror and gazed at himself. He missed being little.. when the skirt hung straight down from narrow hips. Now his hips had developed almost completely, and the skirt flared out around his waist. The tailor cut shirts he'd been given to wear complimented his growing figure beautifully, but left Matthew feeling embarrassed. Arthur insisted on outfits like this, even when it meant alterations and new uniforms every few months if Matthew hit a growth spurt. 

Matthew had hit five foot five this year, and frankly, he was probably done growing. Omega’s usually didn’t grow past five foot six. Gillbert was an exception, making it to five foot nine. Matthew pouted about it. It didn’t help when Gilbert pointed out that Matthew had bigger hips like it was something positive. He hated his hips. It was just another sign that he was good breeding stock - a great investment that Arthur had made. He had prime child bearing hips. Matthew shuddered. 

But, then again… he smiled privately as he sat and pulled his socks on. His mind frolicked into thoughts of Gilbert's hands on his hips, holding them tightly before stealing away to secret places… Matthew blushed, thinking of Gilbert's hands moving up under the back of his skirt… 

The Beta cleared his throat and Matthew realized he had been sitting there daydreaming with only one sock on, the other still in his hand. He gave the Beta a sheepish smile. He knew it would be assumed that he was still in a haze from whatever he had been imagining with his future Alpha during the heat. No one needed to know he wasn't thinking of an Alpha at all...

Matthew finished getting dressed, feeling drained but a little excited as he was escorted back to the bedroom. All the other omega's were still in classes. He would be excused from classes until the day after the next, and if Gilbert was finished with is heat too.. it meant they would have time alone together in the bedroom.

They entered the room and there was Gilbert, sitting on Matthew's bed, reading one of his books. He looked up with a knowing smirk when Matthew and the Beta came in. Matthew returned the look.  
After checking that both Omega's were ok, the Beta left.  
“Honestly, Gilbert,” Matthew said, mocking irritation and sternness in his voice. He stood beside his bed with his arms crossed as he repeated the words they heard again and again from the headmistress. “There are assigned spaces within this room. You really should have more respect for my spa- ack!” Matthew squeaked and giggled as the other Omega hooked him around the waist with his arms, pulling him down while rolling his eyes. Matthew didn’t hesitate to return the kisses Gilbert rained down on him seconds later.  
He pulled away just enough to murmur against Gilbert's lips “That was very dangerous, Mr. Smith” Gilbert hummed through a smile, and kissed him again.  
“It was,” He purred, “ but I’m a very, _very_ dangerous person. “  
“Oh, I’m scared” Matthew snickered.  
“You should be.” Gilbert said with a playful growl as he pushed his friend down against the bed. He hovering over Matthew with a hand on his thigh, slowly inching up as they kissed again. 

Matthew melted into it, as he always did. They hadn’t jumped right into this of course. Things had been awkward for a while after their mutual confessions. But soon after they realized their feelings for each other, most of the things they wanted to do, like holding hands, curling up together etc. were things they already did. It was pretty acceptable for Omegas who actually had friends to be affectionate with them. It was even debated among scientist to be a benefit. Creating softer, more gentle Omegas, benefiting both their Alphas and the offspring. So no one discouraged the pairs closeness. And no one knew it was driven by anything more than friendship. 

Everything… like how Gilbert's fingers were slipping into the waistband of Matthew’s underwear right now, was a slow progression over the two and a half years. It had been hard to find safe, private places to sneak away to… but there were always little tree groves, broom closets, and the bedroom if no one else was in it. They'd even done this in a deserted classroom once.

Earlier that year, they lost their fourth roommate. The female had reached age 18, and had been taken away by her Alpha, so for six glorious months Gilbert and Matthew only had to make sure The Bitch in Bed Two wasn't around. The time during her heats were the best, because then they were alone together for an entire week. That was the first time they had been able to fully… enjoy one another. 

Sadly, about a month ago, they gained a new roommate. A small ten year old Omega. Matthew, being the kind person he was, had stayed up with the boy his first two nights, trying to offer some comfort. It was something he would have appreciated when he first came… however, most the comforting words he said to the new Omega weren't ones that he believed. Not anymore. 

Falling in love with Gilbert had opened so many things for Matthew. He got to hear more about what a normal childhood Gilbert had been lucky enough to have, growing up without the testing system. How it was more about age then your orientation for things like responsibility and privileges. When Matthew talked about the book shelve incident with his little sister, Gilbert had been shocked, outraged even, but it soon faded as Matthew started to cry. He missed his family and he realized that Michelle would now be eleven, on her way to becoming another Alpha, just like the ones who owned them. 

Slowly Matthew was allowing himself open up to the idea that all of this was just as barbaric as Gilbert said it was. But it was frightening to him, because he saw that he and the other Omega's were just sheep. Livestock be used, abused, and then then taken to slaughter.. all while being expected to smile and be happy about it. Once he'd accepted that this was the truth, Matthew began to rebel the same as Gilbert did. He refused extra portions at mealtimes. He refused to participate in classes. He stopped even showing up for his singing lessons. But in the end that turned out to be a bad idea.

Arthur had not been kidding years ago, when he said he didn’t care if it was visitors day, if he was pissed off, he would show up. After four months, ten pounds and multiple warnings, Arthur's patience had snapped. Matthew had been called down to the visitor residence and the yelling had started. Matthew had started off standing his ground, but the pressure of Alpha aggression and command had him cowering in a corner of the couch by the end. still Arthur had wound up sighing. giving Matthew comfort that he mentally didn’t want, but his body still cried out for, reeling from the intense disappointment from an Alpha… Arthur had left with his instruments and the promise that Matthew would be medicated if he didn’t start behaving. 

This brought on a long night of sobbing against Gilbert chest, shaking uncontrollably at the still lingering panic and hurt feelings of it all. Gilbert had hushed Matthew, stroking his hair and trying his best to calm him. Gilbert had gotten off lucky, it seemed. His benefactor didn’t seem to care about much of how Gilbert was being raised, to be honest. There were no dietary restrictions, no alterations to his clothing, and no preference on his studies. He was free to do what he wanted. His Alpha sent him things, and had only visited the haven twice, just to make sure Gilbert was being treated well. The headmistress was instructed not to change a thing when it came to the albino. Thanks to this, Gilbert could get away with murder. But not Matthew. Arthur was strict and relentless... and Matthew knew he'd have to adjust his behavior. Or at least pretend to.

Instead, Matthew learned to take comfort in small victories. He participated in his classes, he cleaned his plate at meals, and he was cordial when Arthur visited. He even apologized for the way he'd been behaving, throwing in tears for effect. But he took his revenge silently. He carelessly ran down the stairs when no one was around. He wore pants instead of a skirt to every visit with Arthur. He'd sneak off into the bathroom and put his fingers down his throat once a day, bringing up whatever meal he'd eaten last, usually dinner. Gilbert didn’t approve of the last one… but Matthew had grown accustomed to keeping secrets.

Gilbert, however, was his favourite form of revenge, because Gilbert was so much more than just running, or clothes, or food. Matthew gasped against Gilbert's mouth as a hand wrapped around him, he tilted his head back, breaking the kiss and letting the other Omega very lightly bite at his neck. It felt so good! “Gilbert,” He said with a breathy moan, his thoughts no where near Alfred in this moment. This moment was theirs and not dictated or owned by any Alpha.

He grasped the other Omega tightly, holding on until he finished with a broken, but soft cry. Gilbert kissed him softly, murmuring sweet nothings as he waited for Matthew to regain some level of coordination. It was only a few minutes before the two wordlessly shifted positions. Matthew was heady, drunk with lust as he kissed the Gilbert, moving down, pulling up the gym shirt the albino wore. He kissed and licked his way down the slight layer of chub on Gilbert's stomach, pulling down his sweatpants and nipping at his hip bones . Soon he pushed the sweat pants out of the way and took Gilbert into his mouth.

The albino Omega moaned as his long pale fingers threaded through Matthew’s hair. Matthew savored every moment of it. This felt so _good_ , even more so because it also felt so forbidden. There was a delicious added edge of danger every time his ministrations made Gilbert moan a little too loudly, gasp a little too harshly, and pull on his hair a little too hard. 

Matthew bobbed his head, swirled his tongue, and moved his mouth in ways he knew would finish Gilbert in no time. He wanted this private time with his friend to last as long as possible, but he was exhausted from his heat and his own orgasm. He knew once he finished Gilbert off, they would curl up in Matthew’s bed with their foreheads pressed together, hands clasped tightly and would kiss each other lazily until they fell asleep. If anyone found them like that, it would just look like two recently heated Omegas looking for comfort. Nothing really unusual, especially for them. They had always been joined at the hip. 

Still, it was probably a miracle they never got caught. Gilbert wasn’t against toeing lines and taking chances. They came close to being found out after Gilbert's last heat had ended. A Beta walking in on them, curled up, facing each other in bed, their hands around each other. Their only saving grace had been the blanket. It was cold, especially for right after a heat! The blanket had been a last minute edition to quell Matthew's whining. It turned out to be a life saver, they're lower bodies weren't visible, so they'd faked sleeping when the door creaked open, freezing in place until they were sure she had gone. 

Yup, all the close calls the had, they had managed to wiggle out of. Laughing about it, continuing on as they had been... This one however might be a bit harder to explain, What with Gilbert's cock down Matthew's throat as Matthias came through the door with no warning, carrying the tie Matthew had forgotten in the bathroom…


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M FINALLY MOVED! and unpacking... ahhh hell... well, here is a new chapter, I kinda left on a hell of a cliff hanger didn't I? oopsie!

The room quickly filled with the scent of two panicking Omegas. Matthew and Gilbert launched themselves away from each other and both started into near identical pleading, their voices shrill.

“W-we were curious!”

“My heat was lingering!”

“It was the first time-” 

“The only time! “

“You can't tell please!”

“If Mr. Kirkland finds out-”

“If Ivan finds out he'll kill me!”

The stunned Beta stood stark still in the doorway as he stared at the two Omega, the tie hanging lamely from his hand. 

Finally, he brought his free hand to his face, first covering his eyes, then dragging down till it rested over his mouth. He gazed at both terrified Omegas one at a time. To Matthew it seemed as though time had stopped, and he watched the Beta nervously, his chest heaving. If this was shared with anyone… Arthur would take everything away. Or worse, he might move Matthew to a different haven! He’d never see Gilbert again!

“P-please Matthias… Please don’t tell!” Matthew whimpered, his breathing shuddering from the way his body was trembling. Even Gilbert was shaking. Matthew could see it from the corner of his eye. 

Matthias' eyes went to the ceiling as if asking the heavens why they hated him. “Okay.. just.. sit down and just… be quiet for a second- not so close! Fuck…”

Matthew moved further down the bed, away from Gilbert. If he wasn’t terrified, he'd be shocked at an orderly using profanity. He'd never heard one of them curse before. Mr. Kirkland had spit out an occasional curse word when he was frustrated. Gilbert swore frequently (and was reprimanded for it, frequently)… but the other adults in the haven never said anything worse than ‘well, shoot’.

Matthias began to pace. He kept opening his mouth as if to say something, only to close it again. Finally, he sat on the edge of the bed opposite from the two Omegas. “I want to know… exactly what is going on between you two.” 

“N-nothing!” Matthew stuttered out, his face turning red. “It was j-just today, we told you it was just-” Matthias raised a hand, frowning. 

“I’m a nice guy Matthew, but I’m not stupid…” He sighed, dropping his head into his hand. Then he brushed the hair away from his eyes and looked back up. “If i keep my mouth shut about this- mmmm…" a stressed looking frown crossed his features, "...but, you two will just get back up to it again huh?” He pinched the bridge of his nose.

Neither Omega said a thing. If they lied to the orderly and it was obvious, Matthias would never cover for them. If they said they wouldn't do it again and meant it.. even if it really meant they just wouldn't do it again for a while.. Maybe, just maybe they’d get lucky? Maybe Matthias would keep quiet. They would just have to be more careful!

Matthias ran his finger through his spiked hair as he looked back up, his brows still furrowed. His face softened, but not in a comforting way.. more like a sympathetic, but pained way. The way you look at a small child before you tell them they’re sibling is an Omega and would be leaving. “Maybe some separation would be healthy for you two.”

Matthew felt like he couldn’t breathe. No! No, he didn’t want to be separated! Not yet! They still had years! He had to… he had to figure this out! He had to fix this! But then Gilbert fixed it… in a way Matthew never would have thought to. 

“If you do that…” the pale Omega said, having the decency not to look the Beta in the eyes as he continued, “I’ll tell them you tried to attack me. It'll be mine and Matthew’s word against yours…”

Matthew felt like he was going to be sick. By the look on the Beta orderly’s face he knew Matthias' felt the same. He looked deeply hurt. If Gilbert and Matthew told a story like that and they were believed, not only would Matthias lose his job.. he could be arrested and taken to jail! Matthew was sure the Beta was going to start yelling..

But Matthias just nodded. A serious expression settled over his face. “Yeah… I guess you could do that.” 

Guilt settled deep inside Matthew’s stomach with every passing second. How could they threaten Matthias this way? He'd always been their favourite. But he couldn’t back down now… not if it meant losing Gil. Matthew had to look away when the Beta turned eyes on him. 

There was a long sigh, “Guess I'll just keep my mouth shut then.” The Beta said, his voice sounding exhausted. The tall man stood up and left the room and Matthew counted the steps as he went.

-

Crippling guilt could only last so long. A month passed and Matthew didn't allow more than a few sneaky kisses behind closed doors. Every time they saw Matthias he felt horrible.. but Gilbert had pulled him out of it. 

“Look, it's better this way!" Gilbert said, "If we ever get caught again and someone found out he knew, he could say he was being blackmailed! It might save his ass.”

Matthew hadn’t believed that at first, but he wanted so badly to touch and kiss Gilbert that it stuck sooner rather than later. 

The two returned to their habits quickly after. Now the two teens had gotten a taste of power and it made them bold.

“Gil~” Matthew moaned in an empty classroom nine months after they'd been caught. Gilbert was up his skirt, hands holding Matthew’s thighs over his shoulders as his mouth did the work. It was visitors day and Matthew was suppose to see Arthur in fifteen minutes, but the allure of empty rooms was just too much to pass up. 

“Oh-oh fuck!” Matthew gasped. A hand going to cover his mouth as his legs started to quiver.

Gilbert had gotten so good with his tongue… easily reducing him to a shivering mess, though if Gilbert's panting and flushed face when his turn came was any indication, Matthew wasn’t half bad himself. 

“Ha-ahhh! Please just- just like tha-ahh!” Matthews fingers clung to the table he sat on, his head thrown back as he came. “Gilbert!” he cried softly, straining as his hips twitched. Gilbert held him in place as he swallowed it down until Matthew was spent. 

The albino Omega pulled back, wiping his mouth and smirking as Matthew lulled his head forward with a hazy smile. Gilbert moved up between the blonde's legs and kissed him softly. Matthew hummed into it, a pleasured sigh on his lips. He cupped Gilbet's cheek gently as they gazed into each others eyes.

They didn't even jump when a familiar voice called from the hallway 

“Matthew! Where are you!? You're suppose to be in the Visitors Centre!” Gilbert started to pull away when Matthew whined. This prompting the albino to smirk against Matthew's mouth, but he stayed put. 

The door to the classroom opened behind them. “Matthew- oh for god's sake!” Matthias hissed, quickly closing the door behind himself. 

Matthew broke the kiss and looked over at the scowling Beta. He had enough shame left to blush a little, and gave Matthias a sheepish smile. “You two are going to get caught again if you don't cut this shit out.” the Beta grumbled, “And you're going to be late for Mr. Kirkland!” 

“Sorry,” Matthew sighed. Even if he no longer felt guilty about the way they had forced Matthias silence, he still felt bad about how stressed the Beta felt over the position he was in. 

Matthew turned back to Gilbert with a frown. “I’ll see you when I’m done?” He asked. The other had his own scowl at their time being interrupted, but nodded. Visitors day was a reminder that their time together was drawing closer and closer to the end. An end neither wanted to think about. 

“Maybe try and get out of it early? Say your stomach hurts?” Gilbert suggested, moving out of the way so Matthew could get down. 

“Ha! That’ll just land me in the doctor’s office. I’ll be back as soon as I can, I promise.” Matthew said, hopping down and getting on his toes to give the taller Omega a quick kiss on the temple. He walked out of the room with the exasperated Beta. 

-

Matthew sat in the visitor room, his bottom barely hitting the seat before Mr. Kirkland appeared. He was starting to feel pretty grumpy. He'd only just realized his decision to make out with Gilbert in the classroom hadn’t given him the time he needed to get to the bedroom change out of his skirt. As usual, he wanted to wear pants to spite Arthur, but now he was stuck.   
Despite being dressed the way the Alpha preferred for the first time in over a year, Arthur was still frowning with disapproval when he came into the room. Matthew furrowed his brow, confused over the expression, and looked down at his uniform for wrinkles. His glasses started to slip off his nose. Oh… 

Seven months ago, Matthew had gone for his yearly eyesight test. His eyesight had been alright for the first few years he had lived at the haven, but slowly it had begun to decline. It would explain the frequent headaches, along with Omega hormones, from the way he had to strain his eyes to read his books. And now there was no denying he needed glasses. Everything had been getting blurry and it was interfering with his ability to read music.

Arthur hated the way the glasses looked. He pushed Matthew to wear contacts instead, but Matthew hated the way contacts felt. They argued about it, but eventually Matthew promised to wear the contacts enough to get used to them, and for visits. Arthur would allow him to wear glasses for normal, every day activities in the haven. 

Except today Matthew had forgotten to make the switch. Or rather, he'd thought he was going to have time to go and change before the visit. 

“S-sorry Mr. Kirkland,” he said softly, pushing the glasses back up on his nose, “I had a bit of a headache… the glasses don’t irritate my eyes as much and make it worse.."

Arthur looked him over critically before sighing. “Yes, of course lad… I wouldn’t want you hurting yourself.“

Matthew gave a smile - a completely fake smile - but a smile no less. Arthur seemed to accept it too, as he simply sat down without starting to scold.

The Alpha placed his briefcase on the table and popped open it's locks to open it. Matthew looked at it warily. Every time the briefcase was brought out, it seemed to have something awful in it. Charts about his now missing scrotum, graphs showing how much weight he was losing... occasionally pictures of Alfred, but those were usually kept in the front pocket, not filed inside with all the other 'Omega Matthew' documents.

Matthew wasn’t even sure anymore how he felt about the pictures of his future Alpha. He held all sorts of resentment towards Arthur, and he feared Alfred would be the same as his father. A mini-Kirkland. But the boy- well… he was a man now.. Alfred had turned eighteen four days after Matthew had turned sixteen. Either way the Alfred in the pictures was always smiling and happy. He seemed much brighter and sunny looking than Arthur ever was. Still.. he found it harder and harder to look at the latest picture of Alfred that Mr. Kirkland had given him. 

But he didn't need to think of pictures of Alfred right this second, because Mr. Kirkland didn't have pictures of Alfred in his briefcase. It was pictures of something much different.

“We've started construction of your future living quarters. I figured it would be better if it was set up separately from the others so there are no mix ups.” 

Matthew nodded, fighting back a shudder. The pictures were placed on the table before him and he felt as though he were being hit with a tonne of bricks. There was a small room, painted in a lilac colour with a dismantled bed frame against the wall. Half empty book shelves were built along the opposite wall . Another picture showed a door off that lead into a heat room with the same the colour scheme. Both walls and floors were tiled in a light purple. Arthur explained it was suppose to be a soothing colour. There was a dip in the floor for the nesting area, and there was an even smaller, unfinished room beside it that would be a washroom.

This was going to be his room. .....This was going to be his _prison_. He would be leaving the haven to go to this room in a year and a half. Gilbert would be leaving even sooner, and they’d never get to see each other again. Matthew felt his throat tighten. They had _known_ all this, obviously… but the reality of it hadn’t hit them. It had only been a concept. Seeing the room laid in front of him in pictures, all finished off with a plaque Arthur took out of the case next.. ‘Matthew’ was written across it. He started to cry. 

“Lad..?” Arthur asked as Matthew dropped his face to the table and into bent arms, sobs ripping from his chest as he desperately worked to keep breathing. He hadn’t expected this to hit him so hard. He heard the Alpha's chair squeak and soon there was a hand on his back and a comforting smell in the air. It smelled safe and warm, and the biologically driven part of his mind wanted to turn into it. The desire to give in to his instincts was so much stronger now, too. But at the same time another part of his mind screamed to push away - that this Alpha was who was taking Gilbert away from him. That he didn’t _want_ that smell… 

Biology eventually won. Matthew turned and clung to the front of Arthur’s sweater as he sobbed. The comforting smell filled his senses and his crying lessened, but only a little. “There, there,” Arthur said, rubbing his back, “It’s overwhelming, isn’t it?” All Matthew could do in reply was cling closer to the Alpha and shake.

When he settled, Arthur continued to show him things from the room. He was asked to make choices.. curtains, bedding, etc. He did his best, but Matthew wasn’t really paying attention. His mind was instead was desperately scrambling for a solution. Years ago he would have just shrugged this off as inevitable. But years ago he didn’t love Gilbert like he did now. 

He was sure by the sour look Arthur gave him when he pointed to a spotted material that it clashed horribly with things he had already picked, so he looked back down and tried to concentrate as he picked out something better.

Finally, the two visiting hours were up. He was very ready to say his goodbyes and leave, but Arthur wasn’t finished. “Hold on a second Matthew, I’ll have to make it quick this time, yes? Arms out, there’s a boy.” Matthew sighed lightly as he stood with his arms held out to the side. Arthur frowned irritably as he felt Matthew’s hip bones, but there was no time for scolding. A light knock came at the door, and Matthias peeked inside.

“Time’s up. I’m sorry, Mr. Kirkland. The next Omega needs the room to meet with his Alpha.” 

“Yes, yes… of course.” Arthur huffed, then turned back to stare down at Matthew. “I’ll be writing to you soon.” 

“Yes, sir.” Matthew said, pasting the best 'I'm ashamed of myself' expression he could over his face. All the while he thought 'and I'll just skim it and toss it out'.

He was quickly ushered from the room, and walked back down the hallway towards the bedroom with Matthias by his side. Matthew was thinking up a plan… trying to work out kinks... maybe he could enlist the Beta’s help with this. Matthias already knew everything.. Maybe he could be coerced into helping?

“You okay?” Matthias asked, causing Matthew to jump. Matthew looked up at the orderly's concerned face and was suddenly hit with fresh guilt. Matthias was still so kind and gentle... how could he ever think of using the Beta like that? Granted, taking care of Omegas and being concerned about them was kind of his job. 

Matthew smiled up at the taller blonde. “I’m fine,” He lied, but Matthew had nearly stuttered out his words. It probably wasn’t helping that his emotions were still running high over his upset in the visiting room. “J-just lost some more weight… that's all.” He said, looking down. Matthias was already in dangerous territory because of them. Matthew couldn't possibly force him into helping. He and Gilbert would need to do this alone. As long as Gilbert agreed to his plan...

When he arrived back at the dorm room, there were two Omegas there, sitting on their beds. One of them was Gilbert, but it was still too crowded. “Come to the library with me?” He asked softly. 

Gilbert looked up with a hopeful smile that dropped when he saw Matthew’s reddened face. The crying must have still been obvious. “Yeah… yeah sure… “ Gilbert said, putting his book down and standing quickly. The pair walked quietly ,hand in hand like usual, down the halls until they reached a quiet section in the very back of the library. 

Gilbert wrapped Matthew up in his arms, and the smaller Omega lost control again. He buried his face against Gilbert's chest, clinging tight. “I d-d-don’t wanna g-go without y-you...” He sobbed quietly. Gilbert's hold tightened and he stroked Matthew’s hair, shushing him as he tried to calm the crying blonde. 

“It’s okay Mattie… we have another year..” He said, his voice tight, but Matthew hear it wavering. 

‘W-we… we could r-run away?” Matthew said voice slightly muffled from his position. Gilbert had suggested it before... every few weeks without seriousness.. but Matthew suspected maybe he had reached this point of realization earlier than Matthew had.

“Course we can, Matthew.” He whispered, voice hoarse. 

“No Gil,” Matthew said, pulling away enough to look into Gilbert's eyes, his own set with determination. “I mean for real. I want to run away with you.” 

Gilbert stared at him for a long moment before nodding and gathering him close again. “Like I said, of course we can.”


	16. Chapter 16

**_If this were a story about a brave, strong and dashing hero, Or an exceptional and epic love... a story with a fairy tale ending, The pair of Omegas in love would escape and live happily together in the woods away from oppression... If you would like to believe that's what happen, I urge you to stop reading. Go on with your lives and enjoy the happy fuzzy feelings.. But if you decide to continue remember, sometimes it is the smallest of people who deserve a story to be told... someone who simply struggled through in no special way. Not all hero's do great things knowingly._ **

 

No. It wasn’t possible. Gilbert was going to turn seventeen in five days! Matthew clung to that thought as fact, refusing to believe what they were saying to him. They were lying. They had to be lying! Someone as vibrant, warm, and _alive_ as Gilbert.... just couldn’t be dead! Gilbert's every waking moment breathed determination, confidence, arrogance... you couldn’t shut something down that shone that brightly! It just wasn't true!

They had been together, just an hour ago. Matthew had pretended to be asleep and Gilbert was right across from him in his bed, breathing such slow and steady breaths. Matthew had been convinced he’d actually fallen asleep! But he hadn't. Their plan to escape was to be set in motion.

Forty-five minutes ago, Gilbert had snuck off to use the washroom. Matthew counted the longest five minutes of his life, then, forty minutes ago, got up to follow. In the washroom they whispered to each other, planning out a place outside in the yard to meet if they got separated.

Twenty-five minutes ago, they kissed each other nervously, but happily and set off. They crept through the darkened corridors, but Twenty-two minutes ago they'd been caught by a night watch Beta orderly. At least, Matthew had been caught. He'd been the first around a corner, and the Beta let out a startled "Hey!" at the sight of an Omega wandering the halls this late. Gilbert quickly dashed off down another corridor and Matthew covered for them both by pretending to be sleep walking. In a sleepy voice he mumbled that he was hungry because the bumblebees kept stealing all the cheese… It was enough to convince the Beta, who sighed and guided the little Omega back to the dorm room and into his bed.. without ever knowing that Gilbert had been there.

Eight minutes ago Matthew had gotten up to try again. Four minute ago, while sneaking toward the door, the sirens started outside. Matthew had been terrified he'd been caught again, or worse, Gilbert had been caught, and he no longer cared about sneaking. He ran as fast as he could. A terrible thought hit him as he went.. that Gilbert was not caught at all.. but that he'd been somehow hurt..

He made it outside, but a Beta orderly came from nowhere and quickly scooped him up. Matthew struggled and kicked and cried out "Gilbert!!" as he was taken back inside. The alarms were so loud and Beta's rushed out from everywhere. They were hurrying to a corner of the yard, and Matthew knew something was terribly wrong but all he could do was struggle to try and get free.  
He was put into a small room and the door was shut and locked. He banged on the door and walls and screamed, but no one heard him. There were sirens and shouting and confusion and Matthew cried and screamed.. until one minute ago.. when they came back for him.. and told him what had happened.  
The world came crashing down.

“No! No, you're lying!" Matthew screeched at them, "Where is he?! What have you done with him?!” He pushed past them and ran to find Gilbert for himself.. because he knew they weren't telling the truth! Where was Gilbert?? Why weren’t they telling him the truth that Gilbert was alright?!  
“Matthew!” A hand grabbed his arm, but he yanked away and turned to stare up at Matthias. Matthew's chest heaved, and his eyes were wild. The look on the Beta's face did nothing to calm him. Matthias looked as though he were in shock, his face pale and his eyes bleary.  
"Matthew," he said, his voice shaking, "Gilbert is.. gone. He's dead."  
“No! You're a liar!!" Matthew ripped himself further away from the Beta. More Betas were there now, circling him, not allowing him any closer to the doors that led outside. “Where is he?!” Matthew screamed, panicking. He could see the Beta's exchanging looks of concern and he felt very much like an animal who had been caught out of their cage.

“I’m sorry, Matthew.” Came Matthias’s voice again, raw and full of understanding that Matthew didn’t want to hear. He shook his head violently and could feel hot tears running down his face. Gilbert wasn’t dead!! He… The doors opened and a police officer came in to speak with someone so he could add details to his incident report. Matthew looked out the door and saw across the field to the edge of the trees. From the distance he could just make out a stretcher and two paramedics. So Gilbert was laying in the stretcher.. he was fine! Matthias was wrong! Gilbert was just hurt, that’s all! 

Matthew bolted for the open door, ignoring the surprised shouts of the Betas and police officer. Footsteps thundered after him, calling him back, begging him not to look. He got close before they caught him. Too close. Matthew froze, his throat tightening and body shaking violently as he looked down at the red stained white sheet that covered the still form beneath. The paramedics had scrambled to put themselves between the stretcher and the Omega, but not before Matthew saw a streak of snow white hair peeking out from beneath the sheet... and the blood that matted it.

Matthew didn’t even fight the Beta arms around him this time. In his shock and horror and pain he just went limp and fell into them. But he screamed, anguished sounds ripping from his throat and filling the air, the smell of fear and stress so thick it was surprising is wasn't visible...

The Omega had to be carried inside. He didn’t know how many hands were on him, how many voices surrounded him. A scent blanket had been stuffed into his arms, no matter how much he wanted to throw it, he clung to it instead. He was a shaking, sobbing mess. He couldn't be trusted to be put back into the dorm room. Even if they restrained him, his severe upset would frighten the other Omegas.. especially the younger ones. . Instead Matthew was carefully carried down into the basement and settled in an empty heat room. Betas hurried around to gather blankets for him, as others worked to try and calm him. 

He didn’t want their comfort… he didn’t want anything from them. Matthew just wanted Gilbert.

-  
By the time morning came, Matthew's broken sadness had turned into rage. It was an unusual state for an Omega. He was screaming constantly. Demanding to know who had done it. Who had killed Gilbert?! He wanted to watch them burn alive! He wanted to watch their pain and relish it. 

Escaping the heat room, of course, wasn’t an option. All five foot five inches of Matthew against the three Betas who were guarding him.. all closer to six foot and much sturdier in build.. there was little to no hope. But whenever they opened the door and came in with food or drink? They quickly left, wearing it. Matthew would demand, over and over again, to know what had happened,then scream for them to get out as soon as they couldn’t answer. Or rather, as soon as they gave him an answer he didn’t want to hear. 

 

He didn’t believe a word they said! Half the time he wasn’t even sure he believed Gilbert was really dead. No one would tell him how it had happened, just that it was an accident and no one had even been able to get to him or reach him until it was too late.  
They were afraid of him hurting himself. They came in, pinned him down and drugged him with a syringe the same way they had done to Gilbert when he'd first come to the haven. But sixteen year old, grieving, angry Matthew was much more determined than a ten year old Gilbert.  
This kept up for two weeks. Matthew stayed in the heat room for his own safety, and for the safety of others. The drugging took place twice a day now, but all it did was make him dizzy and less able to rage around the room. It left him sitting in the nest, hatred and hurt burning in his heart. He refused to eat, and had been forced on fluids and vitamins whenever the Betas sedated him. 

It was on the fourteenth day that the heat room door opened and the familiar smell of disapproval filled the small space. “Hello, Arthur.” Came Matthew’s harsh tone from his spot on the floor. He glared up at his _owner_ , a snear on his face. “I was wondering when you'd show up.”

Arthur gave him an unimpressed look before waving off the Betas. When they left and the door was closed behind them, he turned on Matthew. “Matthew, you’re not eating.” His voice was calm and steady, though Matthew could hear danger brewing beneath it.  
“Nope.”  
“Why?” 

Matthew snarled, “They killed him. They Killed Gilbert and no one will admit it!” His voice was strained and damaged after all the screaming, “This place just keeps getting more and more fucked up, and I won’t sit here and wait anymore!” 

Arthur’s expression didn’t change. “ I didn't want them to tell you the details of his death. I simply wanted to protect you from the truth of it. But since you seem so hell bent on rotting away down here for his sake… Gilbert Smith," Matthew flinched at the given last name that had never suited him, " was not _murdered_ ” Matthew opened his mouth to argue but Arthur held up a single finger to silence him. Matthew growled but any other sound was cut off by his biological instinct to obey the Alpha. “Your friend attempted to escape. He was seen and chased, but he was a little faster and had a head start, unfortunately. He scaled the fence before they could catch him. I assume you’ve seen how high it is, yes?” 

Matthew stayed silent, staring, so Arthur continued.

“He managed, impressively so, to get to the top. He encountered the razor wire that is meant to keep rogue Alphas off the haven's property. Obviously he got caught up in the wire and was cut badly. He began to bleed, and only tore himself up further as he tried to get through it. The doctor who did the autopsy speculates that his injuries caused him to lose enough blood to become dizzy.”  
Matthew started to shake, his breath coming in rapid bursts. He shook his head. No, no… no… someone… someone had hurt Gilbert, not razor wire. This wasn’t true!  
Arthur continued.  
“He somehow made it through the wire, but from there he lost his grip and he fell. When he hit the ground he broke his neck and hit his head on a rock hard enough to shatter his skull. Lord only knows which finished him first… but you can feel happy that he did not suffer long after the fall. And" Arthur added cruelly "that he'd gotten his wish granted, considering he been shouting before he fell.. that he'd rather die than go back.” Arthur reached into his briefcase, pulling something out.

If Matthew had thought he felt like he was going to throw up before, he was most certainly going to do it now. Grisly pictures suddenly fell to the floor in front of him.. the pile shifting to show all the pictures like a fan. Gilbert's broken body on the wrong side of the fence, blood everywhere… shreds of his clothing caught up in the wire. A picture of a Beta checking for a pulse, even though it seemed pointless as there was no life in Gilberts wide open eyes.

“ I trust you understand these were not easy to get…" Arthur stated coldly "but you obviously needed more solid proof yes?”

 

Matthew fought back the bile that tried to make it’s way out of his mouth. As he had been doing the last two weeks, he turned his pain into anger, numbing himself as he looked up at Arthur with cold, violet eyes. “He had the right idea. Being dead is better than being kept like some pedigree dog. Who wants to just be a pet for some Alpha to teach tricks and lock away to just use as a fuck toy?” 

“I would watch yourself, Matthew," Arthur growled, low, "I have been very generous, and very patient with you.”

“I don’t want your generosity or your patience!” Matthew shouted, “I don’t want you at all! You're just some evil slave owning bastard who can rot in hell with the rest of the Alphas just like you! You’re the reason he’s dead!” His throat caught. He'd just admitted Gilbert was dead. Like it hadn't been true up until that moment.. and because Matthew spoke those words.. it was now true. And final. Tears gathered at the corners of his eyes. Suddenly.. he felt much less like yelling and fighting.. and much more like curling into himself to drown in his sorrow.

Arthur frowned at Matthew. A terrible anger Matthew hadn’t seen in those green eyes shone through as the Alpha spoke in a harsh tone. "That Omega obviously filled your head with dangerous thoughts, my dear boy. I'm sorry for the man who owned him, but I'm happy that he's now gone." Arthur straightened his jacket, then bent to gather the photos. He tucked them back into his briefcase. "I trust you'll remember yourself soon, Matthew. You are an Omega, and you belong to me. I have excused your behaviour as growing pains up until this point, but now it is time for you to accept your lot and begin to show me much more respect." Arthur moved to the door, hand on the knob as he looked back. "Once you are finished with this ridiculous grief and come to your senses, you will write to me and we will see how best to go about fixing the mess you have made of yourself. Until then, you will remain in solitary confinement so you can't embarrass me further by spreading these ideas to anyone else." 

\-----  
Pain came after. No more screaming, no more anger. Just painful, heart wrenching acceptance. He didn't speak,he didn't move much, he just laid in his nest and stared. The pictures of Gilbert burned in his mind, providing evidence that he couldn’t deny. 

It took coaxing and so many scent blankets... but eventually he seemed to shift out of his shock and into a numb movability. He was pushed to eat and drink, but in a gentler way once the break down from Arthur's visit had lessened enough for him to see the sense in it. He would have gladly starved himself to death, but he saw little reason in the torment when he knew they’d sooner hospitalize him… It was honestly a miracle they hadn’t yet. A hospitalized Omega was generally granted a lot less freedom then Matthew had in his current cage. 

 

Eventually he was given certain items with his good behaviour, each one having to be approved by Arthur first of course. His photo album of Alfred was the first thing his was allowed. Some select books followed, like his fairy tales. Nothing controversial. He was rewarded for eating, for behaving while the Betas bathed him, and not struggling when they gave him his meds. basically for being agreeable in the lowest of fashions. 

He was spoken to softly, and handled gently. He was comforted when he cried. But he was stuck in the heat room until he admitted that he'd been wrong to speak to Arthur with such disrespect. Admitted that Gilbert had been a bad influence. But Matthew was stubborn, and felt too much sorrow to even think about writing to the Alpha that owned him.

Only Matthias understood the depth of Matthew's pain. That old guilt resurfaced anew as the Beta with an apparent heart of gold once again risked his job,though this time of his own accord, for Matthew's sake. Along with meals, he began smuggling in a few pages from a journal that Gilbert had kept in secret. Matthias had found them while packing up Gilbert's belongings, and instead of handing them over to Ivan or the haven, he hid them away until he could bring them to Matthew. He hoped the passages - especially the ones about Matthew - would be something that would help the little Omega remember his friend and help him through the grieving process.

 _I made a friend here. I know I told myself I wouldn’t, that I was just gonna get out.. but, I guess that’s not really an option on my own. At least he seems pretty cool… He’s teaching me to play the piccolo, so that’s nice. I don’t like most the others though, even the teachers. I mean, what if I don’t wanna slap paint on a canvas for the rest of my life? What if when they shove me in a damn heat room (if they can) I just want to sit and stare at a wall? Maybe if we were able to do something cooler like wood craving, or I dunno... bear wrestling? At least it wouldn’t be so damn boring. Yes, self! I’m gonna swear! They all see me as some wild weirdo, so ~~fuck it~~ screw it… whatever! I’ll get there eventually…_  
~  
_They’re taking his nuts?! What the hell?! How is this even a thing, self? Where on earth did all this bullshit start?! No no… I know, they killed us all and so now? Now they’re gonna lock us up and hack pieces off… great apology for years of bullcrap, guys… except it’s so not. This is so unawesome… Now I’m feeling worried… like really worried. It feels like I have a hole in my stomach. I’m barely even eating (seconds) and ugh. This is all so stupid. I can’t write anymore or I’m just gonna repeat myself._  
~  
_This is a problem! I just had my first heat, but that’s not the really bad part! The really bad part is I kept thinking of Mattie! How am i supposed to deal with this, self?! I mean he’s great and… and I really like hugging him and stuff, and his hands are always soft and he’s really nice and awesome but… he hugged me when I got back and I was so scared he was going to hear how fast my heart was beating! I feel bad because I left before he woke up… but how am I gonna be around him if i can’t get this out of my head!_  
~

_I love him… I love Matthew. There’s an 85% chance he doesn’t love me, but what can I do?! Even if I did tell him, we’re still stuck in here… He’s in love with that stupid Alpha of his anyway. It’s not fair… I wish i could be an Alpha. I wanna be able to sweep him away and take care of him. Not ignore him like I know that douchebag is gonna do! He’ll never look at me that way… ___  
~  
_I kissed Matthew today. I finally did it! The Awesome Gilbert took charge and kissed him! And then he kissed back! But now I’m worried because, well… It kinda set off his first heat. I mean what the fuck right?! He was practically crawling into my lap, and I totally wouldn’t have objected but… ahh fuck… was his reaction all heat fueled? Okay… Maybe I don’t feel completely awesome about it. Either way, I miss him already. Watching him get carried away to be locked in one of those tiny rooms… I hated it. I wish I could be with him for it… I also got a complete dick of an Alpha. Some huge dude named Ivan. I don’t know… he looked creepy, always fucking smiling… I don’t wanna go with him, I wish I could just take Matthew away and we could go live together like Mom and Dad did..._  
~  
_We did it. It was awesome. I’m awesome. He’s awesome. I wish we could do it again right now, but he’s asleep and there’s other people in the room so… But self, as happy as I am about that, I’m still kind of pissed off to be honest. I know he thinks he’s hiding it… but I know he’s still throwing up. I mean complete mood killer accidentally finding a chopstick under his pillow. I tossed it, so maybe it'll take him time to find something else. I’m worried he’s gonna hurt himself doing it. I don’t think i could stand the thought of it. If something happened to Matthew... gott, I love him so much… I have to figure a way to get us out of here! He needs to feel safe…_

___~_  
Matthew had sobbed from reading each precious paragraph. But he'd also smiled. His goofy, vibrant Gilbert. His heart breakingly beautiful and tragic love… His heart ached so badly he thought he would break, and he would cry himself to sleep. He could barely read the last entry..  
~  
_We’re running away tomorrow night, I’m finally going to be free with him. We won’t have to hide and we can just be awesome together forever. I can’t wait… I can’t wait to wake up and kiss him, to fall asleep nuzzled together… I can’t wait to look into his eyes and tell him I love him when we finally get to try and relieve each other's heats. because, I love him so much. self, I am so happy right now, I never want this feeling to end. I wanna look back on this moment in ten years, thirty, fifty! I wanna look back on it when we’re both old and just with each other and I wanna remember the way he’s smiling at me from over his book right now while I pretend not to notice him staring… self, when we’re outta here, in moments like this, I’m just gonna get up and kiss him like i want because I’ll be able to. Won’t that be awesome?_

__It had taken about 5 months locked away in the heat room in the basement before Matthew wrote to Arthur to escape. Therapists put him on anti-depressants and they waited another week before they brought him back to be with the other Omegas. They wanted him calm and quiet, just like he used to be. No mention of Gilbert and what had happened. No talk of anything crazy like escape and freedom. Not that he would have.. he was a pariah among the Omegas now. No one smiled at him, or spoke to him anymore. Eyes would slide past him like he was invisible. It might have hurt, if he had enough left of himself to feel things like that. in reality Matthew felt dead inside._ _

__

__It had been very hard to write to Arthur in order to been let out of the heat room. He started off apologizing for his behaviour, writing that he'd been wrong, and that he accepted his position as an Omega. He'd felt such shock and grief over the loss of his friend that he'd been temporarily driven from his senses, and he begged to be forgiven. He even went into detail about how he was missing Arthur’s visits. He wrote that he longed for updated pictures of Alfred, and that he had taken to wearing the hooded jacket he had been given years ago… it was a little small, but it brought comfort._ _

__Basically he had written every flowery lie he could think of that Arthur might want to hear._ _

__Mid June was in his face only days after he stumbled out of the stagnant air and into the light...the blessing of a heat just ending in good timing meant he wouldn't need to return for a while. a proper bath, though heavily supervised by not one but three betas, was a welcomed change from the sponge baths he had grown use too during his long months alone._ _

__

__Visits from Arthur were to become regular again as soon as he was freed, and in a week Arthur would be coming for the first visit since he was first confined. A visit that would come right before he faced his most painful birthday yet... The birthday where he would become older than Gilbert ever would be._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my defense, Death is tagged, and this chapter (the rough draft) has been mostly done since about chapter 2/3... 
> 
> Plus it's me. Anyone who reads my stuff should have seen this coming...


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the comments on the last chapter, I know a lot of you wanted Matthew and Gilbert to get away, but sadly... it wasn't the story. 
> 
> This chapter should be slightly less heart breaking? maybe? I dunno, you tell me!

Days blurred into weeks and months. Time passed by and Matthew moved through it in a hazy, drugged fog. He ate all his meals, and did exactly as he was told. He participated in his classes again. He painted and created colourful scenes on canvas. He worked on his singing, focusing on hitting the notes as sweetly as he could for the teacher. At Arthur's suggestion he even took up needle point during his free time... anything to keep his mind too busy to wander to dark places. His piccolo had been returned to him long ago, but sat forgotten in its case.

Soon it would be a full year since Gilbert's death.. but it hardly seemed real. Barely anything felt real anymore… least of all Gilbert. Matthew wondered, while he lay in bed at night with nothing else to keep him occupied, if it was a defense put up by his mind to make Gilbert feel like a dream. A darker alternative being, Gilbert never was real, that he really had created him to fill a void in his empty day to day life and loneliness in the haven.

Or.. maybe it was just the drugs.. keeping him hazy, sedated and easily confused.

There wasn't much evidence that Gilbert had ever been there with him, outside the tattered pages of his journals that Matthew kept tucked away in his books. No pictures, no clothing that smelled like him.. All of his possessions had been given to his benefactor. Even his bed had been given away to a new Omega. At least that was what Matthew had heard. He didn't stay in the dorm room with the others anymore. He had been moved to a different room. A much smaller room right next to the Beta's quarters. 

This room was reserved for Omega's like him. Troubled Omega's. Omega's that needed to be watched carefully at all times. Not only was he considered a flight risk now, which resulted in a tracking bracelet, but he woke up frequently with nightmares. 

The nightmares came, no matter what dosage of drug they put him on. No matter how numb his mind became. He would suddenly wake, screaming at faceless evils, calling out in French, a language he hadn't used since he'd left his fathers home so many years ago. He cried out for his parents, his sister, for Gilbert.. to come and help him… but they never came, they couldn't. Only a Beta would come.. and the sad reality of his life would momentarily come back into focus.. only a little better than the nightmare. 

Whichever Beta was given “Matthew duty” that night would wrap him up in his scent blanket. He had a special supply of blankets now… all Alfred scented. Arthur had told his son that a local haven needed donations as they were running low of Alpha scented things for the young Omegas. Apparently Alfred had been only to happy to help, thinking he was doing a good deed anonymously, and unknowingly supplied his scent for Matthew's benefit.

Most Omegas with benefactors had scent blankets that smelled of their future Alphas. But those who were not yet claimed used blankets that were donated. He had kind of wondered how they got the blankets for unclaimed Omegas… He guessed asking a teenage Alpha for his scent would have been a give away. Whereas Matthew had enjoyed and took comfort in Alfred's hoody… it hadn’t been nearly as strong as a full grown Alpha’s scent. Besides, the smell had long since faded. With new scent blankets to bury his nose into, and soft, comforting words from a Beta, it was much easier to let his mind drift back into numbness and fall back to sleep.

 

His roommate was a younger Omega, about thirteen years old. He wasn't bothered by Matthew's night terrors. He had night terrors of his own, and much more frequently than Matthew. The kid had been brought in after watching his little brother - also an Omega - suffocate after being given a lunch one afternoon. He'd had a food allergy no one had known about, and the paramedics hadn't gotten to him in time.

Omega Law # 4.3: Even the accidental death of an Omega will result in the death penalty for the one who caused it - there will be no exception.

Their mother, who had given the treat, was hung for it. 

Gilbert had died... but no one was put to death for his sake. No one could be found guilty for his death. It had been deemed an accident. That was.. if.. Gilbert had even been real..

Matthew clung to things that he knew, beyond a doubt, were real. Things his mind couldn’t jumble in a strange effort to protect himself. Things he could touch, taste and smell...

Things like pictures of Alfred. The Alpha had grown so tall! Pictures of him standing next to Arthur. Arthur already stood a good height over Matthew, and Alfred had a good four inches more than him! He was handsome too… but noticing that made Matthew feel nauseated… like he was doing something wrong.. but he couldn’t place why. And trying to figure it all out only made him feel sicker, and dizzy. It was upsetting.

He was in the middle of one of these episodes, sitting on his bed with his head in his hands. He whined, loudly. He hated the fuzzy feeling the drugs left in his head.. that almost tangible wrongness he couldn't quite reach, the one that the fuzziness wouldn't allow him to think about clearly... It was maddening

The smell of his distress must have been strong, or maybe his room mate called someone, because a Beta came in soon after. They quickly walked in, opening a sealed bag to pull out a fresh Alfred blanket. The scent was strong and drew Matthew's attention almost instantly, bringing a sob from his throat. Relief! Something to hold, to smell, to cling to. Something that would chase all the confusing thoughts and feelings away!

The blanket was still folded when he snatched it from the Beta. He buried his face in it and inhaled deeply. He could feel the stress melting, replaced by a different kind of hazy feeling.. but this one was welcomed. The upset and confusion slipped away from his mind, and he no longer _cared_ about the unplaceable feeling.

“You alright, Matthew?” Matthew looked up, noticing it had been Matthias who'd handed him the blanket. The Beta looked sad, but.. then again.. the Beta almost always looked sad when he looked at Matthew now. Why was he so sad? This confused Matthew too. Was he broken enough to be such an object of pity? 

Matthew nodded, lowering the blanket enough to offer a small smile. “Yeah, thanks..” he whispered, hoping Matthias would understand that he was just fine. Everything was okay now. He had his Alfred blanket and was calm. But that only made Matthias cringe before offering a sad smile in return, then turning to leave the room. 

Matthew frowned, but returned to his blanket, unfolding it to wrap around him. He wanted to be surrounded in that smell… become even more lost in it. Just as he was about to throw it around his shoulders, a piece of paper fluttered out and drifted down to the bed. He picked it up in confusion, looking at the messy scrawl of writing. It read - 

_“Hey there, little Omega dude!_

_Look, I know these blankets are supposed to be anonymous and I’m probably gonna get in shit for this, but oh well. Obviously, you’re having a rough time right now and that sucks. I hope things get better and my blanket helps. Just remember things aren’t always gonna be so crappy, right? Soon your own Alphas gonna come in and sweep you off your feet! Then you won’t need my stupid scent anymore. Just keep hanging in there! Until then, I’m happy to be your temporary hero!_

_Your friendly neighbourhood Alphaman- A.F.K.”_

Matthew blinked at the paper… A.F.K.? Alfred Kirkland? This was Alfred's scent so… He had a note from Alfred? It was jarring. A silent face in pictures, a smell, the faded memory of a whiny adolescent voice muffled over a phone.. that was the Alfred he knew. 

But this was really Alfred? His writing, his own words? Matthew swallowed and pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders. He read the note over and over. His eyes were glued to that paper. After reading it about ten more times, Matthew leaned over and grabbed the Alfred photo album and flipped to an empty page. He slipped the small note behind the plastic protector, and then just gazed at it. He felt a little warm inside. This was another real thing. A real thing that he could hold on to.

Alfred's words lingered in his mind, and he clung to them. Did this mean Alfred was nice? Would he come in and sweep Matthew off his feet? Or was it just something silly he wrote on a whim?

Eventually Matthew decided it was too much to consider. Fearing the return of the fuzziness he'd only just banished, He focused instead on something else that was real.. music notes on a page.

-

Arthur’s December visit came, and somehow, Matthew showed enough improvement to be given a lower dose of his medication. He would be weaned down to a less sedating effect. 

It was the first time in two years Matthew had seen the Alpha look relaxed around him. He had been given Christmas gifts, and was shown pictures of his completed heat room. The bathroom was finished now, and it looked pleasant enough, he supposed.. but it seemed so lonely.

That night he slipped the new and final pictures of Alfred into his little album, then read the note until he fell asleep. 

The next day the weaning started, and by the next month he wished it hadn’t. 

Without the haze and easy escape of the drugs, he was faced with the reality of everything that had happened. His brain scrambled at first to keep himself convinced that Gilbert hadn't been real.. none of it was real! But, in the end, the memories came crashing back like a tidal wave of sorrow.

It was a gamble on Arthur’s part, really. Without the drugs, Matthew might revert back to his rebellious and disrespectful ways. He could have started screaming and fighting again... but he didn't. Matthew stayed the way he was. Obedient, tame, passive. To Matthew, it didn't matter anyway. He could scream and yell and fight.. but Gilbert would still be dead. He would still be an Omega, and he would still belong to Arthur Kirkland... he would still be broken.

Without the drugs, time still passed, but so much slower, so much more painfully. Matthew watched his roommate scream night after night with a renewed sadness, knowing there was nothing he could do. He dreamt of Gilbert, and knew now that he'd been real. He returned Matthias’ heartbroken looks, and received comfort for things no one else but the Beta understood.

In the end, Matthew missed the drugs. 

\-----

Eventually, it was June fifteenth again. Soon he would be taken from the haven to his new home, and to meet Alfred for the first time. Over the months of sobriety Matthew worked to convince himself this would be a good thing. Between the pictures and the note, he did his best to summon up some of the old excitement he used to feel at the thought of meeting Alfred. The note gave him hope, but it all felt so false and put on.. and with his eighteenth birthday only two weeks away, he doubted he would feel any better.

Despite the fact that he'd be leaving in two weeks, Arthur had still arranged a meeting. Matthew sighed as he looked himself over in the mirror. 

The well fitting uniform was clinging here and there, his skirt flared and falling to his mid thighs,

Because Arthur liked to see his figure. 

His hair was brushed and fell just past his shoulders in loose waves, 

Because Arthur preferred it that length. 

His contacts, though irritating, kept his face clear of frames, 

Because Arthur thought they got in the way of showing off his eyes. 

He practiced a small, shy smile in the mirror, 

Because Arthur insisted it was only good manners to smile and be grateful for what he had...

....except the smile didn’t reach his eyes anymore. He was just.. fulfilling his position… and doing as he was told. 

Because that was what Arthur really wanted. 

-

"You'll be coming home with me, soon. Are you looking forward to leaving this place?"

"Yes sir," Matthew said, lifting his teacup to take a sip. It wasn't a lie. He'd never liked living at the haven. And now it only served to remind him of the red eyed Omega he'd spent so much of his time with. The Kirkland residence wouldn't really feel like a home either… but then, nothing would, would it? But in all honesty, it was probably as close as he was ever going to get. 

“That's funny,” Arthur started, and Matthew looked up into the unamused eyes, “You don’t look overly happy.” 

Matthew cringed. He had let his fake smile fall when his memories of Gilbert came. “I… I was just thinking.. that’s all. ” He said quietly, forcing his lips to twitch upwards.

“What were you thinking of?” Arthur asked offhandedly, sipping his tea.

“I'm j-just… Just nervous about the change, Mr Kirkland.” Matthew said, looking down. 

“I see," Arthur said, and silence filled the room for a few moments before the Alpha set his teacup down. "So, this has nothing to do with that _other_ Omega,then?” There was a sharp edge to his words, and Matthew's face paled.

“Wh-what? No.. I just -” 

Arthur interrupted. “The Headmistress informed me that you’ve been calling for that Omega, Matthew. In fact, she said the Beta's have been reporting that you’ve been calling for a lot of people when you wake from nightmares… and surprisingly, none of them are your future Alpha.” 

“I… It’s just dreams…” Matthew murmured, his face turning red. Even his sleep wasn't private. “A-Alfred’s blankets have been helping… ” 

Arthur nodded. “Hmm, still, think of how you would make Alfred feel.. if he heard that you were calling for someone else in the middle of the night. I have to wonder why you would be holding on to thoughts of a dead Omega. Especially one who'd caused you so many issues. He was simply a bad influence.”

“Gilbert was my friend.” Matthew whispered, doing his best to hold back angry tears. He gripped his teacup more tightly, glaring into it. Arthur had never spoken of Gilbert, after that day in the heart room where he'd shown Matthew the pictures of his death. The sudden mention of the Omega had caught him off guard, and he shook as he tried to calm down. He couldn’t argue with Mr Kirkland. He couldn't talk back.

“Was he just a friend, Matthew?”  
Matthew’s eyes flashed up, opened wide and scared as Arthur looked at him, eyes narrowed and calculating. 

“W- I… Of course he was just my friend!” No… no.. Arthur couldn’t possibly know… 

“Stand up. Let's go over to the couch now, please.” Arthur’s voice and eyes held so much ice that Matthew shuddered. He hurried to obey and followed the Alpha to the couch. The anger was gone and only anxiety and worry remained. How could Arthur know? What was he going to do?

Arthur sat on the couch in front of where Matthew stood before him. The Omega automatically spread his arms out, but he trembled. Cold green eyes surveyed him. A familiar chill ran through Matthew's body as the Alpha spoke. "You know, I wonder sometimes what, exactly, I'm spending so much of my money on." Arthur's hands moved and Matthew stayed still when they landed on his hips and squeezed. 

"You've become the picture of a healthy Omega, now that you’ve smartened yourself up. I knew there was potential in you the first time I saw you." The Alpha's hands moved from Matthew's hips to his stomach, pressing against the soft, pleasing pudge there. But his eyes narrowed. "I wonder, however, with your past behavior... and with what the Beta's are saying about your nightmares... if you've received any hidden marks, or have any flaws that would make you… undesirable." 

“N-No! You're wrong.. I… The doctors reports! Gilbert and I- what are you doing?!” Matthew cried as the Alpha's hands pulled his shirt up from out of his skirt. Fingers swiftly popped open the buttons, and his cheeks flared red as he fought back the urge to push Arthur away.

“M-Mr. Kirkland, I don’t… I don’t understand w-why are you-” He choked off with a shuddering gasp as cold air hit his bare chest. Arthur had pushed his shirt open. “Please, please don’t..” Matthew tensed up, his hands moving to cover his chest. He didn't like this... where was the chaperon? Weren't they watching? Why was no one stopping this? He looked up at the camera overhead and felt his heart drop. They didn't aim the camera to look at the couch, and this was why… 

“I’m taking a better look at my investment.” Arthur muttered, then cleared his throat. “You are mine, Matthew. I have the right to look at you all I want. Now stop wiggling around and lower your hands unless you want to return to your dorm with a ripped shirt.” He obeyed, the shirt sliding off Matthew's shoulders and falling to the floor, leaving the Omega feeling exposed and cold.

Arthur wasted no time moving to his skirt, unhooking the clasp and dragging the zipper down the side. “B-but sir… I… Alfred?” Matthew said, desperately looking for a way out of this.

The Alpha scoffed. “I’m doing this for Alfred. What good is a damaged present?” He shoved Matthew's skirt to the floor. “That ungrateful son of mine doesn’t deserve half of what he gets already… but I surely will not present him with an Omega that's already been used. I paid for perfection, and I will make sure I'm getting it.” Matthew's panties hit the floor and the Omega began to sob.

“Spread your legs.” Matthew complied slowly, but found them soon forced apart by Arthur, causing him to nearly lose his balance and fall. He grabbed for Arthur’s shoulders and quickly righted himself. He flinched as fingers began to poke, prod… lift. He let out a squeak of discomfort when the scar from his alteration was touched. Arthur ducking his head for a moment before growling, rolling his sleeves up. “Turn around, bend over and grab your ankles.”

“What?!” Matthew’s eyes went wide. This wasn’t bad enough?! 

“Do it now, Matthew” The Alpha's command rang through loud and clear and it was almost painful. Matthew’s head throbbed as he turned around and bent, assuming the demanded position. Tears dripped awkwardly into his hair and he couldn’t keep the cry inside as a digit suddenly sank deep into his bottom. The finger felt and probed around his inner walls uncomfortably.

He and Gilbert hadn’t even… besides the doctor and himself during heats.. no one had ever touched him there. A second finger joined the first and he cried out again, “Please! Please stop, it hurts!!” The smell of his fear flooded the room. 

The smell of fear seemed to reach Arthur, because the probing become a little more gentle, and his voice was soft when he spoke. “Shhh, pet. Relax and it won’t hurt.” His fingers brushed over Matthew's slicking gland, and Matthew gapsed as a small rush of fluid covered the Alpha's fingers. Those fingers hit that spot a few more times, and Matthew swore he felt the Alpha shudder at the sound of his whining. 

The slick that now dripped down Arthur's hand began to make this feel less like an exam.. and more like something pleasurable. He let out an embarrassing mewl as the strong smell of the Alpha hit him in a new way. It left him both terrified and disgusted at his instinctual urge to submit. To spread his legs wider. To relax and become pliant at the touch.

Suddenly, a horrifying thought struck him… what if Arthur had changed his mind? What if he decided to keep Matthew for himself instead of giving him to Alfred? What if this was his way of staking his claim now?! He… He wouldn’t _put it in_ would he?! Matthew could accept on some level, being given to an Alpha he’d never met. At least there was a chance that Alfred was nice. But he couldn't stomach the thought of staying directly under Arthur's thumb. There was no question of how miserable his life would be then. 

“N-no~” Matthew managed to whimper through the wave of pheromones that now had him sopping wet. Perhaps it was this last whimper.. or just plain luck.. that the smell of Alpha thinned out, and Arthur let him go.  
“No damage.” He muttered thickly, mostly to himself. “No visible marks or scars.” He removed his fingers suddenly, and Matthew sobbed again, both in relief, and in pain. His body felt as though it had been primed to accept a mate, and somehow he'd failed.

“Stand and turn around.” Arthur said as he stood. Matthew straightened, feeling ashamed as his slick dribbled down his thighs. He tried not to watch as Arthur took a handkerchief from his pocket and dried his fingers. Arthur then grabbed his chin and tilted his head up and around, checking each side of his neck. “No marks here either.” He grabbed Matthew’s wrists one at a time, looking them over. “Nothing. Good.” 

Satisfied, he kissed the top of Matthew's head, then handed him the kerchief. “Clean yourself up now, pet. Then put your clothes back on.” He turned away to walk to the sink where he washed his hands. Matthew cried as he did his best to wipe the slick from his legs and behind. He felt so ashamed and deeply violated.

“Best to hurry,” Arthur said, now drying his hands and watching as Matthew shakily pulled his clothing back on. “I can’t stay forever you know. There are only two weeks to get everything ready for your arrival.” His tone was dismissive, as if they had just finished having tea. Tea where Matthew had been prattling on about painting, and how much he liked watercolor over oil. Matthew was appalled, terrified, and shaking so hard he wasn’t even sure he could walk… but he did. He moved numbly, buttoning up his shirt while he tried to stop crying.

When he was dressed, he still shook, though his crying had quieted. Arthur stood before him, and Matthew refused to meet his gaze. He flinched when a hand landed on his head to pet him.. like he were a child or an animal. “I’ll be back in two weeks to pick you up, Poppet. Behave for me until then, hm?” 

The shaking Omega murmured a quiet “Y-Yes sir” with his head lowered. He heard the approving hum from the Alpha, and listened as Arthur left the visitation room for the last time.

Then, Matthew broke down. He didn’t remember much of what happened, except that a Beta had come in to try and pick him up and carry him back to the house. He'd cried that he didn’t want to be touched and he struggled.. and it wasn’t until Matthias was called down that he relaxed enough to be carried back to his bedroom. He spent a good two hours in the Beta’s lap crying, and all he could really remember from it was thinking that maybe he deserved this… If he had just behaved, if he had clung to the childish fantasies of Alfred, if he had pushed away his friendship with Gilbert… he wouldn't be feeling this pain and shame right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's finally showin up to the party next chapter y'all ;p


	18. Chapter 18

The first week went fast. The second dragged in comparison. Matthew wasn’t sure if he just wanted to leave the haven and get it over with, or if he wanted to enjoy his last few days of freedom from Arthur. 

In the end it didn’t matter because the afternoon of July third, his moving date, arrived. His possessions were packed away into boxes, and his uniforms were returned. He sat on his bed in the outfit Arthur had sent him. It was nothing fancy.. just a pair of shorts and a tee-shirt. He wiggled his toes in the sandals he’d been given as well. They were the first things he’d worn in years that didn’t have Northern Bliss Haven stamped on them somewhere. 

Despite the warm weather, and the cool summery clothing he was wearing, Matthew was wrapped in a blanket. One of Alfred’s blankets. He had been making attempts at exciting himself.. and truthfully.. it was starting to work. Not because he suddenly wanted the Omega life... not because he was looking forward to being impregnated without a choice... but because maybe when he belonged to Alfred, he would feel safe from Arthur. The patriarch of the Kirkland family would no longer be able to dictate his life as much once he belonged to Alfred.. right? And there was a slight chance that Alfred would be different from his father. Perhaps kinder. Matthew wasn't expecting miracles, but at least he could take comfort in the thought that Arthur would never be able to 'check' him again.

Beta orderlies came in to grabbed the few boxes of Matthew's packed possessions. Matthias was there, standing in front of him with a bag tucked under his arm. He held out his hand. “Come on Matthew, the car’s waiting. It’s time to go.” Matthew looked up at his favourite Beta and nodded. Silently he stood with his blanket still wrapped tightly around him. He shuffled beside Matthias, following along down the hall and to the staircase. Then he took the steps down slowly, for the last time. He paused at the front door of the haven and turned around to take one last look. All of the other Omegas were in their classes. There was no one to say goodbye to him but Matthias, not that there was anyone else to say good bye too...

He gazed up at the Beta for a moment before before wrapping his arms around his middle to hug him. “Thank you.” He whispered, trying not to choke up. Matthias returned the hug tightly. All too soon they had to let go as Arthur called for him to hurry up.

Matthew pulled back with a shuddering breath. Matthias gave him an attempt at a smile. “You’re gonna be okay, Matthew. Just a couple hours in a car... Then you’ll get to relax a bit, okay?” 

Matthew nodded. The trip was going to be more than just a couple hours. The Kirkland manor was a five hour drive away. It was tucked away deep into the countryside. Arthur often had to travel to the city for business, and made sure to plan his trips every three months in order to visit Matthew.

So, he walked out to where Arthur was signing some final papers. The papers that would transfer full responsibility for the Omega over to him. Matthew stopped to stand behind him and wait patiently while he finished. Matthias went to tuck his his bag into the back seat of the waiting car. The bag was full of things for Matthew to do that might help pass the time during the long drive. There was also another blanket scented like Alfred to help him stay calm.

“Hello Matthew," said Arthur, "All set, then?” 

“Yes, sir.” Matthew mumbled softly, unable to bring himself to look up at the Alpha. He couldn't even manage a smile. He didn’t want to see the man’s eyes. He didn’t want to be stuck in a car with him for five hours. He could only pray the Alpha would sit in the front seat with the driver. 

He was not so lucky.

Matthew spent the entire drive curled on the back seat as far from Arthur as possible. He stayed wrapped in the blanket to help keep him calm, and to create a barrier between himself and the Alpha. It was too hot to be bundled up this way, and he felt sweaty. Arthur suggested he unwrap himself, but Matthew claimed to feel car sick and said he needed it. Thankfully, Arthur accommodated him by asking the driver to turn on the air conditioning.

Matthias had made sure to pack his little MP3 player into his bag, so Matthew spent most of the ride with his headphones in, listening to music. Once or twice he caught himself humming and even singing along with the music. It was a habit he'd formed while he worked on a new piece of music for class. Once he realized what he was doing however, he stopped. He knew Arthur would like the singing… and the last thing he wanted right now was to make Arthur happy.

He watched the world fly by through the window, and he found it very hard not to reflect on the last ten years of his life. From being taken away from his father and sister to be hidden away in a haven. To when he was happily chosen and purchased and looked forward to visits from Arthur. Back then he would have been excited and happy in this car, finally on his way to meet Alfred. He longed to be able to feel that way again... before he met Gilbert.. before he loved Gilbert.. before he realized what his life was truly going to be like. Before he found out what Kind of Alpha the man beside him really was.

He wanted to go back to when he was younger and naive. He wanted to forget these past few troubling, sad years. He wanted to be a good Omega for Alfred. If he was good.. if he could be happy about things.. maybe his life wouldn't be so bad.. right? So for the last three hours of the trip, that was what he tried to do. He pushed all the thoughts of the past away. He choked back tears as he tried desperately not to think about red eyes and white hair. He replaced them with blue eyes and blonde hair. He buried his nose deep in the material of the blanket, inhaling and let his imagination take him back to the fairy tale he’d imagined as a child. 

Alfred would enter the room and Matthew would be dressed up, looking his best. The Alpha would move to him, smiling. He would tilt Matthew's chin up and tell him he was beautiful. He would say Matthew was everything he wanted in an Omega, and then he would kiss him. They would live happily ever after.

That little daydream would give him butterflies in his stomach when he was a child. Now it was hardly convincing.

Eventually the car turned from the road and on to an old country dirt road. The car bumped and jostled along and Matthew sleepily peered out the window. It had grown dark outside, but he could see the lights of a building up ahead. Many lights. He soon realized that it wasn't just a building.. it was a house. A very large house. Matthew was exhausted by then so he couldn't quite grasp that this was the Kirkland manor, and they were traveling down a very long driveway to the front door of his new home.  
The car came to a stop in front of the house and the driver immediately got out to circle back and open the door for Arthur. The door to the manor opened and people came towards them. They greeted Arthur and went to open the trunk to take Matthew's things.

Matthew opened the car door to step out, but the emotional turmoil of the long car ride had tired him out too much and he stumbled. He was quickly scooped up into the arms of one of the men. By his scent Matthew could tell this was an Alpha.. though a weaker one than Arthur or Alfred. The thought came to him that Arthur must have many people working for him. Lesser Alphas for security and Betas for housework. He wondered how many other Omega lived in this house..  
He wasn't fond of the unfamiliar feeling of this Alpha carrying him, but he was too tired to walk. He watched with hazy, sleepy eyes as he was carried into the large house. They turned down a hallway, went down a set of stairs, and turned again down another hallway. And then they were standing in front of a door with a golden plaque that read 'Matthew'. Arthur was behind them, and he produced a key to unlock the door, allowing them inside.

Arthur spoke as Matthew was changed and tucked into bed. He said that early in the morning Betas would come to tend to him and get him ready to be presented to Alfred. They would explain how he was sit when Alfred entered the room, they would figure out how his hair would be styled, decide what he would wear.. everything would be handled by them. In the afternoon, Arthur explained, Alfred would arrive home from the birthday trip he had been sent on. Then Matthew would finally meet the Alpha who he would belong to. 

Matthew nodded sleepily, not really paying attention to much of the details as he curled up on the unfamiliar bed, still grasping the scent blanket close. Tears slipped from his eyes at the overwhelming rush of everything hitting him. Arthur’s droning words only adding to his upset. This was his room now, where he would likely live out the rest of his life.. and he couldn’t even muster the energy to look around.  
His meager belongings were brought into the room and set down on the floor to be unpacked the next day. Arthur patted the sleepy Omega on the head before motioning that everyone should leave the room.  
“Good night, Matthew.” he said quietly, then backed out of the room himself. The door was shut, and the last thing Matthew heard before he fell asleep was the click of the lock.

-

The next morning when Matthew woke, he sat up and looked around in confusion. He nearly started to panic, and it took him a moment to remember where he was. When he remembered that he was in his new room at the Kirkland manor.. his heart sunk. He pulled his knees up to his chest, hugging them as he closed his eyes. He waited for the feeling of panic to ease.. then opened his eyes to inspect his new surroundings.

There were bookshelves lining the wall opposite his bed. They were built floor to ceiling and held many books. In the floor in front of the shelves was a gathering of comfortable cushions in different colours. Beside them was a music stand, already holding a selection of music for him to try. In another corner, on the same wall as the entrance to his heat room, was an easel. Beside it was a small table that held a number of canvases. Beside them was a brand new package of all sorts of paints. Oil, acrylic, and watercolour. He had his pick. The walls were a light lilac. They were so light in fact, he would have thought of them as white if it hadn’t been for the sunlight coming in through the window. Oh, he had a window.. Matthew turned his head to look and noticed the solid but ornate looking bars over both the inside and the outside. They were there for his safety from the outside world of course.. but also to keep him safely locked inside. He really was in a cage, wasn’t he?

Matthew shifted and set his feet down on the floor. He felt the thick, plush carpet beneath his bare feet. He stood and padded over to the window to look outside. His room was up above the grounds and he could see flowers, trees.. rolling hills and a forest in the distance. It was very beautiful.. and it made him sad. It was likely all he would ever get to do was look. There was a chance that Alfred might be kind, but if Arthur had anything to say about it he would be stuck forever in this room... wasting his life away with pregnancies... with only books, painting and music to keep him occupied. And needlepoint. Matthias had made sure to pack that into his bag.  
The bedroom door opened and Matthew spun around, startled. Fear and guilt flooded him as if he'd been doing something wrong... like gazing out the window wasn't something he was allowed to do. The scent of his fear filled the air. 

“Hello, Matthew,” a kindly looking old women said. Matthew sniffed the air. She was a Beta. He watched her, still feeling shaky, as two more Beta entered the room. “It’s okay, dear," the older one said, her voice soothing and calm, "We’re here to get you ready.” 

Matthew swallowed dryly. Oh.. right. He was meeting Alfred today. That only made his stomach drop further. “H-hello.. ” He whispered, tears gathering in his eyes. He frowned and wiped them away. This was so stupid! Why was he crying? 

“Get the bear, and you go start the bath.” The Beta whispered instructions to the other two. They nodded and one headed for the washroom. The other went to a closet and opened the door. Matthew watched suspiciously as a fluffy white teddy bear was pulled out. He tilted his head, looking at it in confusion as the Beta brought it to him. When she handed it to him, however, his eyes opened wide in surprise. It smelled like Alfred! 

“Mr. Kirkland designed these for the Omegas in the house," the older Beta smiled as she explained, "We can replace the scent pouch inside of it. You wont have to carry around a bulky blanket with you all the time this way.” The bear was handed to him and Matthew quickly took it. He hugged it to him and buried his nose into it's fur, inhaling the calming scent. 

“Thank you,” he murmured the woman nodded. Both she and the other Beta then gently led him through his heat room and into his small washroom. Matthew shuddered as as they passed through the chilly tiled heat room.. at least it would feel nice while he was burning up in a heat, but he still hated being in one, even briefly. It would be hard to have to pass through it every time he needed to use the washroom.

In the washroom there was just enough space for them both to stand without it being too crowded. His bath had been drawn by one of the other Beta, who left the room once Matthew and the older Beta women came in. She began to help him undress, then folded the little nightgown he'd been wearing and set it aside. “My name is Marie," She spoke softly as she took his hand and helped him step into the warm bath, "I’m going to be helping you get bathed while Alistair and Colin are going to get your outfit and hair preparations ready for you, alright?"

“O-okay” Matthew said softly, then whimpered a bit as Marie took the bear from his arms and set it on the counter. He took a calming breath and sunk down into the water. Marie quickly set to work, washing his hair and body in mild smelling soap. Matthew whispered at one point that he was able to do this himself.. but Marie insisted. He was too nervous to argue, so he left her do her work. There was a clock on the bathroom wall. It read ten o'clock. There was only two hours until he would meet Alfred. He wasn't sure if he felt sick or excited by the time Marie had rinsed him clean and helped him out of the tub, wrapping him up in a fluffy white towel.

Once he was dry, she led him back into the bedroom. There was a chair in the centre of the room, and Alistair and Colin were waiting for him. Marie handed his bear back to him and he sat down. The two Betas quickly got to work. Matthew let his mind wander as one brushed out his long hair. The other opened mild smelling creams and began to rub them into the skin of his face and limbs. He wasn't sure which Beta was which.. the one with red hair was the one with the cream. He was now on his knees, rubbing the lotion into Matthew's feet. Matthew watched him and wondered what his life would have been like if he'd been born a Beta. Where would he be right now?

Most Betas worked by caring for Omega. They were nurses and teachers and general caregivers. They were not affected by the heady scents of an Omega, so they were best suited to be the ones in charge of the majority of their care. If Matthew had been born a Beta.. would he be comforting a crying Omega child in a haven? Would he be in a hospital, prepping a male child for surgery that would alter them? Maybe he would be a teacher in a school for Omegas? Would he be bothered by the plight of Omega, or would it just be routine for him? Part of his job?

Matthew buried his face deeper in the bear's fur as the other Beta started clipping at his fingernails. There was no sense in thinking of those things. He hadn't been born a Beta.. he was an Omega... and this was his lot in life. He just had to accept it. A flash of red eyes frowning at him ran through his mind, but he pushed it back.. and the tears that came with it, threatening to choke him. He couldn't think about Gilbert and his childish wishes for freedom. Gilbert had tried to escape and look what happened to him. He swallowed thickly, willing away the old heartache, and instead he stared at the shelves upon shelves of books he had a life time to read. 

after what felt like ages, the two Betas were finished. He stood and they eased into a royal purple robe all made of silk. It was covered in light purple flowers and it fell to cover half of his hands in the too-long sleeves. A mirror was brought into the room and he stood in front of it, gazing at himself. His hair had been gathered into a pretty braid that fell down his back, small white flowers were woven in. His nails, while colourless, were clean and perfectly rounded. His eyes had been very light accented with makeup, making them appear larger. His skin was smooth and clear. Even his lips had a soft shine. He was absolutely beautiful.. but he felt like a doll.

Marie and the other two Betas hurried to arrange the cushions on the floor in front of his book shelves. The led him to kneel amoungst them. Marie took the bear from him and set it on his bed. The other two Beta's explained how his posture should be. He needed keep his head lowered in submission as he was presented. He should only look up when his Alpha said his name. He should not speak until he was spoken to. Matthew nodded his understanding, feeling his heart beginning to beat faster. The Betas continued to arrange the cushions around him. He realized that they were doing their best to simulate the look of a nest. Matthew's heart skipped a beat and he gasped.  
Oh god.... would Alfred want to.. would want to... no! Not before a heat! Would he?! “C-can I have the bear back, please?” He asked with a whimper, but before anyone could answer or move voices carried in from the hall.

“Dad, I _just_ got home! Can’t whatever this is wait?”  
The three Betas moved quickly to the side of the room, standing with their hands in front of them, staring straight ahead. Matthew felt as though his heart had stopped in his chest. Was that...?

“Honestly Alfred, you can eat after.” Arthur chided and Matthew felt as though he may pass out. He look deep breaths and worked to keep calm and keep his scent as light as possible. It wasn’t an easy task, and he knew the air was still tinged with fear.. but he didn't want to drown Alfred in his fear the first time they met.

“Whatever, can we just get this over with? What the hell is even down this hallway anyway? Wasn’t this just storage or whatever?” 

“It was. I had some renovations done.” The doorknob turned and Matthew’s breath caught in his throat. He completely forgot about keeping his head bowed and his stared as the door swung open, his eyes wide. “I think this is a better use for it.” Arthur stepped into the room and moved to stand to the side with his arms crossed. There was a small, satisfied grin on his face.

Then Alfred was there. He was right there, right in front of him. If Matthew had wanted to, he could have stood up, taken mere steps and been close enough to touch him. Those startling blue eyes.. the pictures just hadn't done enough justice... and now they were staring directly at him. Alfred looked somewhat shocked to see Matthew kneeling there, staring back at him. The little Omega blushed bright red, and he couldn't drop his gaze away.

Alfred raised a brow, then sighed and smirked at his father. Matthew felt a small amount of disappointment from Alfred's reaction.. but he stayed still.

“So…” Alfred started, “You brought me down here to show me your newest Omega? That’s a little weird. I mean yeah, he’s cute and all... but... I’m hungry and it’s kinda my birthday.” 

Matthew blinked, and Arthur sighed and placed his face in his hand. “No, Alfred. He’s not mine. Why would-?” He shook his head and forced a smile at his son. “I got him for you. He’s your first Omega.” 

“Wha-?! Oh. ....Oh! Um... ” Alfred’s cheeks pinkened and he looked back at Matthew. “Uh.. um... hey there... little guy.. uh..” He trailed off in question. Matthew opened his mouth to supply his name, but Arthur beat him to it. 

“Matthew Williams. Though he’ll go into heat for you in a few months, and it will become Matthew Kirkland.” Alfred’s head snapped around, staring at his father with wide eyes. 

“I- he... what??” His voice cracked. Matthew now dropped his face to hide his frown. The scent of his nerves trickling a little more, seeping into the room. This wasn’t anything like he'd imaged. There was no breathless moment, no soft look or touch. Alfred hadn’t even come into the room, fully! Matthew felt himself begin to panic again.

Alfred looked at the little Omega again, completely stunned. Silence befell the room and Matthew fought the urge to start shaking. Then Alfred spoke, his voice tense. “Just one minute okay, Matthew?” He listened as the two Alphas left the room, the door shutting behind them. Matthew's bottom lip trembled. What on earth was going on?! Then he could hear their voices on the other side of the wall.. and he began to piece it all together.

“You got me an Omega?! Without even asking if I _wanted_ one??” 

“Alfred...”

“What if I didn’t want to be like you? What if i just wanted to chill, settled down with a Beta or some shit?” 

“Alfred-”

“And am I supposed to just leave him there alone now?! I had birthday plans with Toris, that makes me look like a huge asshole!” Alfred's voice kept rising in pitch and distress.

“Alfred!” Arthur finally snapped.

“What?!”

“I know you are aware that _heatrooms_ are sound proof, but I had assumed you also knew that _bedrooms_ are not.” the elder Alpha hissed.

“Huh? What do you- oh.. shit…” 

The door opened again and Alfred walked in, looking red faced and apologetic. But it was too late.. Matthew had already lost the battle against trembling, his bottom lip quivering. He.. after all this, he wasn’t even wanted? He sniffled, and his hands bunching over his sleeves. All the years of bullshit... all of the convincing himself that it would be fine because hey, maybe Alfred was nice.. and now what?! Alfred didn’t _want_ an Omega. Did this mean Arthur would take him himself? Or would he be sold on to some other Alpha?

Tears slipped from his eyes and trailed down his cheeks. Small choking sobs broke forth from his throat. The scent of fear and distress now saturated the room as Matthew broke down. The fairytale had crumbled. His hands went to his face to hide. He'd spent ten years in a haven, he lost his best friend.. he’d done his best to _forget_ Gilbert... so he could try and be happy in this new life.. and it had been shattered to pieces in minutes. What would happen to him now? Why was his life so consistently full of shi-

“Awe hey no.. no, it’s okay…” Matthew heard footsteps cross the floor and he flinched, curling into himself more as he could smell the Alpha come closer. 

“P-Please just l-leave me alone...” He stuttered in a tiny voice, trying to keep himself from sobbing openly. 

A hand fell on his shoulder, and Alfred's voice was gentle and directly above him. “Look… Mattie... can I call you Mattie? I’m sorry, little dude… I’m just-” 

“Please just leave!" Matthew shouted, shrinking away from the touch. "I don’t want you here!” He lost his battle and dissolving into sobs. He could feel Alfred hesitating. His Omega scent was screaming 'please save me, comfort me,' but he really only wanted to be left alone.

Alfred sighed in frustration, then stepped away. “Damnnit… What the hell do I do?” Matthew peeked up to see that Alfred was starring at the ceiling, looking confused and upset. Then he peeked over at Arthur. The stuffy older Alpha looked irritated, those green eyes starring directly at him and Matthew flinched with a whimper. If Alfred didn't want him and he was to be taken by Arthur instead.. angering him was the last thing Matthew wanted to do.

Alfred however, sensed the deep fear in the room. He looked from Matthew to his father with a murmured “huh?”. He frowned, then sighed and knelt down in front of Matthew. Two hands were on his shoulders now, and Matthew's nose prickled as a familiar comforting scent filled his senses.. so much more powerful than the blankets or the bear. “Hey.. Mattie?” 

Matthew couldn't look the Alpha in the eye, but his sobs settled as the comforting scent overtook him. 

“Do you really wanna be alone? I can stay if you want.” Alfred said, gently. 

Matthew considered the offer. Refusing might upset Arthur... but the thought of having Alfred stay out of pity to keep him calm only served to upset him more. “Please.. go.” He whispered. 

“All right… I’ll be back later okay?” said Alfred as he stood. Matthew didn’t react, staring at one of the pillows on the floor instead. The Alphas both left the room, the Betas following. The door was closed and locked and Matthew got his wish. He was alone, though he could hear muffled arguing as they left down the hall.

He managed to drag himself up off the floor once they were completely gone and all was silent. He shed the silken robe from his body and crawled naked into his bed. He had no one to blame for this but himself. Fairy tales weren’t real. There really wasn’t a happily ever after for him, was there? Matthew curled up into the fetal position, hugging himself tightly, letting himself cry. His mind wandered to red eyes and white hair. If he was going to be stuck in a nightmare, he wasn’t going to rob himself of the only memories and dreams that had ever made him happy. “I wish you were here, Gil…” he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? what are your thoughts on Alfred? Are you hopeful? encouraged, discouraged, crying in little balls because Mattie just can't catch a damn break?
> 
> How many people hate me at this point? XD 
> 
> Thank you too my Beta for all the help on getting this chapter polished up and out! she makes this so much better!


	19. Chapter 19

When Matthew had gone to sleep that afternoon, he had thought things couldn’t get any worse. He thought Alfred's rejection was the end of it. He'd have to resign himself to the fact that he would become Arthur’s Omega, and he would be forgotten in this room except for when he came into heat. Then Arthur would come and he would.... Matthew couldn’t bring himself to finish that sentence in his mind. The memories of Arthur's hands on him, fingers prodding inside.... it was just too fresh and confusing. 

He didn't to get out of bed. Why should he? He wasn't even planning on opening his eyes. He slept right through till four in the afternoon. He woke and found a tray of food sitting beside his bed. He nibbled at it, then curled back up under his covers to wait for morning. Alfred had come at one point, but Matthew pretended to be sleeping. Forcing himself not to react as fingers pushed hair out of his face. It was a gesture he could have convinced himself was out of kindness or affection. He could have told himself Alfred was gazing lovingly on his sleeping form, just like in the fairy tale with the sleeping princess awoken with a kiss. 

But it wasn’t. Matthew knew this was simply an Alpha looking over a piece of property... an unwanted present . Alfred was studying him - assessing him. He was deciding whether or not to keep Matthew. To sign for him and take responsibility for his care.. and eventually breed him for eventual profit. Like he were livestock.  
Whatever Alfred decided, he eventually left the room and Matthew lay in his bed alone.

He faded in and out of sleep and dreams.. he wasn't sure if he were awake or asleep when the door to his room was shoved open so hard it crashed against the wall. A thick stench of anger and disapproval quickly filled the air. Startled, Matthew sat bolt upright in bed. Arthur and two male Beta's had charged into the room. The Beta’s were carefully sifting through books in Matthew’s boxes and shelves, But Arthur was tearing through them, grabbing them and shaking them so hard some of the pages ripped. 

Matthew’s eyes went wide and he gasped. He had woken to a nightmare. His hazy mind grasped for the reasons that Arthur might be searching his books... then, as he spotted the dog eared paper half crumpled in Arthur's hand, suddenly a terrible realization hit him. Gilbert's journal pages! Arthur must have found out about them somehow!

“No…” He whispered before scrambling across the bed to get to the Alpha. He grasped at Arthur's arm, trying to make him stop shaking the books. He cried out, half hysterical, “No! No no no! Please!” He tried to grab a book away from the Alpha's hands, but Arthur shoved him back just as a couple more of the damning journal slipped from between the books pages.

“Restrain him.” Arthur said cooly and a Beta quickly wrapped his arms around Matthew's middle and held him fast. 

“No, please! Please Arthur, please!” he cried, struggling.

Arthur growled loudly over Matthew's cries as he continued ripping through the books. “I send Marie in here to unpack for you. I even tell her to be as quiet as she can because you’ve had a taxing day yesterday. Stupidly, I even felt sympathy for you, after being rejected so pathetically.” Arthur tossed the book across the room with force that caused the pages to flutter and rip. 

“I even scolded him, you know. I scolded my son for your benefit! Imagine that.” Arthur spun around, his eyes wild. “And then such deep disappointment I felt when Marie comes to me, holding one of these." He held up one of the journal pages, now wrinkled from having been crumpled up. "Apparently it fell out of one of your books." He held up the pages he'd managed to find, "I asked you, did I not?? Three weeks ago I asked you if there had been something with this _Gilbert Smith_. You denied it! And yet...”  
Arthur began to read from the page.  
“ _I kissed Matthew today. I finally did it! The Awesome Gilbert took charge and kissed him! And then he kissed back!- I wish I could just take Matthew away and we could go live together like Mom and Dad did…_ ” 

He flipped to another, 

“ _We did it. It was awesome. I’m awesome. He’s awesome. I wish we could do it again right now, but he’s asleep and there’s other people in the room_ “

“But this one..." Arthur's voice was low and dangerous. "Well, this one is truly my favourite, Matthew ."  
_‘We’re running away tomorrow night, I’m finally going to be free with him. We won’t have to hide and we can just be awesome together forever. I can’t wait… I can’t wait to wake up and kiss him, to fall asleep nuzzled together… I can’t wait to look into his eyes and tell him I love him when we finally get to try and relieve each other's-’_ ” 

“Please stop!” Matthew cried out. He went limp and the Beta allowed him to slide down to the floor. Hearing Arthur read those words... the words that were meant to be just for him to see… for him to hold close... it felt dirty.

“What?" growled Arthur, "You don’t like hearing the filth that's written here? Why would you keep this then?” Matthew could only sob in response. Everything was too overwhelming for him, he just wanted it all to stop. “Well then, if hearing these words upsets you so much, the solution is very simple." Arthur reached into his back pocket and pulled out a shiny silver lighter. Matthew cried out, shrill and sharp when he saw it, and he scrambled to get to his feet to get at Arthur and save the pages.. but the Beta grabbed him and once more held him back.

“No! No! Why do you care?! He’s dead! I can’t-! He can’t-!" his voice broke as hysteria took over him. "Please!! I’ll be good!! I'll do anything!! Please just don’t!! I’ll be good for you, please!!” 

“You will be good, Matthew, regardless. ” Arthur put the papers on a box, picking one up along with a decorative ceramic bowl from a shelf and set it on the dresser “Because you haven't a bloody clue how pampered and coddled you've been up until this point. You have no idea how much worse things could be.” The lighter flicked to life , and the paper caught fire. 

Matthew screamed as if in pain.. as if he were the one starting to burn instead of whichever page of Gilbert's journal was currently going up in flames. He cried and screamed and fought to get free of the Beta's grasp. He didn’t even notice another Alpha entering the room. Not until a loud voice boomed over his cries.

“What the _hell_ is going on in here?!” Matthew looked up to see Alfred, standing there, disgust contorting his face from the smell as a hand few to his nose. anger flicking in his eyes “What are you doing to him?!”

“Calm down, Alfred.” Arthur said, His own tone biting in contrast to his words “look at the damn papers there" he said laying the last bit of charred journal to finish burning in the bowl.

Alfred looked between them. Matthew only getting out half words of begging as he sobbed. The Alpha picked up the papers and read, his eyes going wide. 

“I’m sorry my boy," Arthur sighed, "Apparently my judgment was off on how this one was raised. Perhaps you'll want to reconsider the other options?” His eyes turning in Matthew's direction, “He's obviously defective."

Matthew didn’t even flinch. He didn’t believe Arthur. Nothing, nothing could be worse than having to be in this room with Arthur any longer. Nothing could top the pain of watching him touch those letters! soiling his memories of Gilbert before turning them to ash.

And then Alfred’s cold blue eyes turned on him as well. He held out his hand, keeping his eyes on Matthew. “Give me the lighter, Dad.” Arthur looked at him in surprise. Alfred’s eyes turned and he snarled at his father, “He’s mine, right? This is my job to do, now give it to me!” 

Arthur opened his mouth to retort in disagreement.. then seemed to decide it wasn’t worth it. He simply handed over the silver lighter. Alfred turned to the Beta still holding Matthew back. “You can let him go,” He growled, his eyes trained directly on the little Omega once more. “Because Matthew is not going to move.” 

It was very, very clear he wasn’t… his body already shutting down at the words. The beta’s let him go and he slumped to the floor, left locked there when he watched Alfred pick another sheet up, reading it over quickly. “You can all get out now too” He said as he placed the flame under the page, setting it ablaze as Matthew choked out a sob and turned his face away, “I want to have a word with him alone. 

Matthew could see Arthur nod out of the corner of his eye. “Very well, Alfred.” His voice sounded proud. It made Matthew feel sick. Alfred was just like his father after all. He was cold and just as cruel. The elder Alpha and two Betas left the room.

As soon as the door clicked shut behind them, the strangest thing happened. Alfred moved quickly, and Matthew looked in time to see him snuffing the paper out with his fingers. Matthew watched in shock as the Alpha winced quietly and flailed his burned digits around in an attempt to cool them. “How dare you embarrass me like this!?” He yelled before stuffing his fingers into his mouth. Then he took the green bowl and tried to put out the fire that was still burning the first page by blowing on it. Matthew sat, stunned as he watched the Alpha quickly discover how bad an idea to blow on the fire was.. now there were little bits of charred paper and sparks floating around the room. Those blue eyes were no longer cold.. now they were fearful! Alfred hurried to grab at the falling embers, burning his hands further in the process. All the while he kept yelling, his voice angry.. but going into a slightly higher pitch each time he grabbed an ember and got burned. “Disgusting! I can’t believe how much money was wasted on you! ......ow, damn.." 

Matthew blinked, but he was beginning to catch on. He was also becoming a little alarmed at the fact that his room could go up in flames very soon.  
“I’m sorry! Pl-please!” he cried out as Alfred hurried past him to the food tray sitting beside his bed. He grabbed a glass of orange juice and went to douse what was still left burning inside the bowl. 

“I don’t want to hear it!” Alfred yelled as he tilted the bowl making sure it was all out, putting it down. Then he held up a soot-covered finger and crept over to the door. He listened carefully before opening it a crack and peeking out. 

Matthew’s eyes fell on the papers and he ached for the ability to move, to run to them and clutch them close. see which one had been lost forever, try and save the others. But he was still bound to stay put by Alfred's command. 

Once he had decided it was safe Alfred was moving again soon. bounding to gather the notes and then rushing over to Matthew kneeling in front of him, “Hide these better!” He hissed looking slightly pained as he put the papers in Matthew’s hands. Matthew stared up at him, confused. After a moment he nodded and carefully folded the precious pages, clutching them close.

Alfred sighed, reaching out to brush tears from Matthew's cheeks. “Are you okay?” he asked softly. The calming scent hit him and his shoulders drooped further. releasing him from the command. he shook his head, unable to speak. 

“I’m sorry… I had to… just to get them back okay? I think this one’s okay… how many did he get?” Alfred asked pushing hair out of Matthew’s face as he looked the Omega over in concern. 

“O-one.. why did you...?” Matthew managed to choke out. 

Alfred frowned deeply, his eyes apologetic, sighing he sat back heavily on his butt. He scrubbed at his face, leaving blackened soot marks everywhere. “Any idiot knows that Omega’s don’t really get much say in life.” he shrugged ,“You never chose to be here, and I know I can’t make everything okay... I can’t bring whoever wrote that to you.. I can’t change the way the world works. Honestly, I’m kind of useless... “ Alfred said trailing off and looking down.

Matthew looked at him, clutching the pages close, not sure what to say. He wasn’t sure he believed it… what if it was just to keep him quiet… Alfred looked up, his expression pained as he noticed Matthew’s apprehension, 

“Mattie... I swear I’m not my dad. I don’t ever want to be like him.” Alfred voice was quiet and Matthew frowned tilting his head for a moment. He felt a twinge of guilt… Alfred had just saved his papers and-

“Y-your hands... ” Matthew bit his lip when he noticed how red Alfred's hands were.. beneath the black of course. Blisters were forming where the Alpha had been burned. “You hurt yourself to save that page for me... ” He looked down, cheeks bright red, “T-thank you.” 

“Aw, It’s nothing! What’s a little burn, right?” Matthew peeked up to see Alfred grinning at him. He still felt apprehensive... but maybe a little bit less so...

“Look, like I said, I’m kinda useless." Alfred continued, smiling gently, "There isn’t much I can do for you.. but I promise I’m going to do everything I can to make you happy here.” 

“Y-you’re... going to keep me then?” Matthew asked, trembling.

“Yup! Though... If you could just watch out around Dad until... uh..” Alfred looked away, and now it was his turn to go red. “Y'know.. when you go into heat.. uh.. I can’t really sign the papers till then. Until after we... um.. you know...” He gestured vaguely to his own neck. The spot where an Alpha would sink in his teeth into an Omega during breeding. 

Matthew nodded and swallowed, eyes downcast back to the floor. How do you tell someone who just saved something so precious to you... that you don’t _want_ them to touch you like that? The thought of it made Matthew shudder and feel sick. He didn’t want an Alpha anywhere near him ever again.

But.. It would be the only way to keep Arthur away... and Alfred did seem kind. For now at least. Matthew chewed his lip and looked down at the letters. He didn’t want to wind up with another Arthur… but maybe if he could do just enough to behave Alfred wouldn’t be unkind when he came around. 

“Ok... I’ll behave.” Matthew said quietly.

Alfred smiled. “Thanks, Mattie.”

Just six weeks. Six weeks of sitting quietly alone in his room without pissing off Arthur or Alfred. Should be easy enough, right?

Right.

Only... it wasn’t six weeks _alone_ in his room not pissing off Arthur or Alfred. It was more like three weeks of sitting in his room with Alfred hanging over his shoulder nearly the entire time. Matthew had begun to question if this Alpha had a life. 

The Omega, who still liked to sleep in, would wake to find Alfred sitting by his bed, waiting with breakfast. The mornings were spent with Matthew quietly reading or working on his needle work, while Alfred watched him intently. It was a bit disconcerting to be stared at like that... but Matthew did his best to ignore him. Later lunch would be brought in by a Beta who gave the pair strange looks. Matthew assumed it wasn't normal in this house to see an Alpha spending time with an Omega in their living quarters. Not while they weren't in heat. By the time the afternoon would roll around, Alfred could no longer sit quietly. He would start talking about all sorts of things.. and he wouldn't stop.  
While he talked endlessly he would poke around Matthew's room, peeking through all of his things. He flipped through books and asked Matthew about the different stories in them. He thought he'd try helping Matthew with his needle point... and ended up accidentally stabbing himself with a needle.. right into a spot that was steal healing from the burns. He found Matthew's MP3 player one day and took it with him, promising to fill it with 'the best music EVER' for the Omega to listen to.. and returned with every last megabyte filled with the loudest, most horrible heavy metal, thrash, and rap music that Matthew never wanted to listen to ever again.

Matthew suffered it all as best he could.

It was another normal afternoon. Matthew decided today he would try painting. And Alfred sat right there behind him, watching as the Omega dabbed paint on the canvas. He was chattering on and on about bacon flavoured ice cream or something.. some new, delicious treat he'd convinced the Beta chef to make. Matthew nodded along, barely listening as he boredly swiped another cloud into the sky he was painting. He tried to add a comment here or there, about how his favourite ice cream was chocolate and he couldn't imagine putting bacon in it of all things... but mostly he was just doing his best not to show how irritating the Alpha was.

"Are you kidding?" Alfred laughed, "Oh man, Mattie! I gotta bring you some chocolate covered bacon! It's the best stuff ever!" Alfred jumped up, throwing his arms wide in the physical way the Alpha liked to show his excitement.. and ended up smacking his hand against some books... which then fell off the shelf and crashed to the floor with a loud bang. Matthew jumped, squeezing his paint tube too hard and ended up completely coated in green. 

“Augh!” Matthew exclaimed, forest green paint dripping down his face... even running into his mouth.

“Oh my god, Mattie! Are you okay?! Is that poison?! Should I call a doctor!?” Alfred exclaimed.

“It’s- pfft, non-toxic..." Matthew sputtered, wiping at his face with his arm, "I need a- pfft- pfft-bath.” And his carpet now needed to be washed of green paint. Marie was going to have a fit.

“I’ll go run one!” Alfred dashed towards the heat room door.

“W-wait what?! C-call- ppffthh- call Marie!” Matthew said, stumbling from his seat still wiping at his face. Paint dripped from his hair and splotched all over his shoulders and arms. He didn't want Alfred to go into the heat room! Not yet!

“Don’t be silly, Mattie! I’m right here!" Alfred called, already having crossed the heat room and gone into the bathroom. "We’d have to wait for Marie, and I don’t want that shit in your eyes!” Matthew heard the bath water turned on. “Besides, I’m pretty sure i know how to run a-" Matthew heard the shower knob being pulled, "Ahhh!! Oh god! That’s cold! Cold cold! Why did the shower turn on?? AHHH!” Matthew just stood at the open door to the heat room, unable to bring himself to cross that threshold. He could only listen to the chaos happening on the other side.

How much time had he spent inside the cold, dark cage of a heat room in the haven? Alone and crying out in the agony of a heat. This heat room was new, and he knew he wouldn't be going into it alone.. in fact.. it was meant to house both himself and Alfred for one whole week every three months. At least between each pregnancy. But.. he didn't want to be in there. Not with Alfred. He wasn't ready. Even without considering the incident with Arthur in the haven, he also had never really felt safe in one of the cold dark cages since after Gilbert... 

Eventually Alfred had things sorted out in the bathroom and he poked his head out, spotting the Omega hesitating back in the bedroom. “Mattie?" He asked, "You okay?” The smell of fear had wafted through the heat room and into the bathroom, causing the soaking wet Alpha to look concerned.

“I… I just don’t.. “ Matthew started, his eyes falling to the cool tiled floor of the heat room. “It’s nothing... “ He murmuered.

“Mattie... C'mon, tell me!” Matthew looked up just in time to see Alfred pouting. Honestly. An Alpha pouting?

“I just… I don’t want you to see me naked.” Matthew said, blushing furiously, unable to look Alfred in the eye. It wasn’t a lie. He was accustomed to Beta's and other Omega's seeing him naked. That was fine. But an Alpha? No! He wasn’t even sure if Alfred knew that he was altered down there. Would he like it, or would it freak him out? Matthew shook his head to shake the thought away. It shouldn't even matter what Alfred thought.

“Well duh, I’m not gonna.. y'know.. BE in there with you. I’ll just wait outside the door until you're done! Make sure you don’t drown or whatever. “ Alfred said cheerily before turning back and turning off the water. “Okay! All ready for ya!” 

Matthew gulped as Alfred left the bathroom to stand outside the door. He motioned that Matthew should come.. and the Omega had no more room for argument. He shakily took the first step into the heat room. His eyes were sharp on Alfred, then he suddenly darted across the room, then into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him.

He was in! He was safe! And… he was trapped… in the bathroom... with Alfred right outside the door. And.. he had to take his clothes off. He never in his life thought he’d _want_ a Beta there to supervise his baths.

“All good in there, Mattie?” Alfred’s voice came through the closed door.

“Y-yeah! I’m fine!” Matthew called back. He heard shuffling against the wood of the door. He assumed that meant the Alpha had sat down and was now leaning against it.

“Kay well, I’m right out here, okay? The door is thin enough we can talk, too! Guess they don’t need sound proof the bathroom if it's in the heat room, huh?"

“Uh.. uh-huh,” was all that Matthew could muster. He hesitated for a moment… but there really was no point in just standing in there. The paint was going to dry completely and be harder to wash off. So he stripped down, leaving the paint stained clothing in a pile on the floor and getting into the warm water. He hadn't realized how stressed he'd been feeling, and sinking down into the heat felt wonderful. He couldn’t hold back a soft groan as he felt his muscles start to relax.

“You okay!?” Alfred called, sounding panicked. There were more shuffling noises and it sounded as though the Alpha was ready to burst through the door to save him from the hot water.

“I’m fine!!" Matthew yelped, water splashing everywhere when he jumped. So much for relaxing. "It just feels nice, that's all!" He called hurriedly. 

“Oh… okay. Good!” Alfred said cheerfully, and Matthew listened as the Alpha settled down against the door once more. 

A minute of silence went by as Matthew set to work, scrubbing the green paint off his skin. But silence rarely lasted when Alfred was around.

“So uh… Mattie?” Alfred asked, sounding a little nervous.

Matthew sighed. No one ever told him an Alpha could be so needy. Was this normal? “Yes, Alfred?” 

“Dad said you could sing really well. Do.. do you think you could sing something for me?” Matthew frowned. How was he supposed to wash and sing at the same time? But.. now that he thought about it... he hadn’t really sung at all since he arrived at the Kirkland manor.

“Uhm… yes I guess I could.” Matthew replied. It would be okay to sing for Alfred, wouldn't it? Alfred wasn't Arthur. And Arthur wasn't there. “What would you like to hear?” He wondered if the Alpha even knew any songs.. outside of painfully loud metal-type music.

“I don’t know... I mean.. I don't know what sort of songs you know. Maybe sing me something from those music sheets in your room?"

Matthew nodded, remembering a second later that Alfred couldn’t see him. “O-okay uhh… okay, I'll sing one.” Matthew cleared his throat and sat up as best he could in the bath. It was an old song... one of the first he’d learned with his old voice teacher. He wouldn't have to concentrate on remembering the words. He knew it by heart.

_“Oh Danny boy, The pipe the pipes are calling. from glen to glen, and down the mountain side. the summer’s gone and all the flowers are dying. Tis you tis you must go and I must bide. “_

He took a deep breath before continuing with the song, singing as he scrubbed paint from his arm. it didn’t trip him at all until further along, more of the lyrics resurfacing in his memory, and... his voice began to waver.

_“And if you come when all the flowers are dying, If i am dead as dead I well may be~ I pray you’ll find the place where i am lying, and kneel and say an ave there for me.”_

He choked back tears, forcing himself to continue singing. The pain came through his voice, sweet and bitter and sad. _“and I shall hear, though soft you tread above me, And all my grave, shall warm and sweeter be, then you will kneel and whisper that you love me, and I shall sleep in peace until you come to me..."_

The last note came out choked up with a sob, but he quickly covered it with a cough. He covered his mouth with his hand and fought off the flood of memories. They ran from his eyes as tears that dripped into the bathwater. “I uh…” his voice was hoarse. He cleared his throat and fought to compose himself. “I have to wash my hair now… so I can’t really sing anymore. I'm sorry.” 

“Oh, okay.” Alfred said, sounding hesitant. “That was really good though... thanks, Mattie.” 

“You’re welcome.” Matthew said, before slipping down into the water to work on getting the green out of his hair. 

By the time he was clean, he'd begun to feel a little better. He sent Alfred into the bedroom to find clothing for him to wear. Once Alfred was safely out of the heat room, he slipped a fluffy white bathrobe around himself and tied the sash tight before leaving the bathroom and following the Alpha into the bedroom. He still didn't want to be in the heat room with Alfred. 

“I forgot this was in there.” He said with a bashful smile as Alfred handed him a set of clothes.

“Yeah.. no problem, Mattie.” Alfred grinned, then dutifully turned around as Matthew went behind a screen to change. Matthew listened as Alfred began to poke around his room again, as he usually did. Once he was dressed, he walked out to see Alfred standing by his dresser. What the Alpha had in his hand made him freeze.

It was his old Piccolo.

“Please... please don’t touch that.” Matthew choked. 

Alfred glanced over, startled. He hurried to put it back where he'd found it. “S-sorry!” He said, frowning “I was just wondering why you never play it... was it his?”

Matthew stood staring at the old instrument. It was a few moments before he could speak. “He use to play it, yes. ” He mumbled before turning away. He wished Alfred would leave. He didn't want to talk about this. He went to start picking up the books the Alpha had knocked to the floor.

“So uhm…" Alfred sounded careful, cautious. "What happened? With the other Omega I mean? Gilbert was his name?"

Matthew clenched his jaw, a lump in his throat. Alfred wasn't going to let this drop. There wasn't any use in ignoring him. The Alpha never knew when to stay quiet. “He died.” Matthew whispered, shoving the books back into their places on the shelf a little too hard. This wasn't any of Alfred's business. He shouldn't be asking him to explain!

“Oh…” Alfred answered from his place on the bed. He twiddled around with his thumbs. “I’m really sorry, Matthew.” 

Matthew looked back with a scowl, expecting the Alpha to be feigning sympathy. Really, Alfred should be glad Gilbert was dead, just like Arthur had been... but what Matthew saw in Alfred's eyes was genuine sadness. The heartbroken expression on the Alpha's face took Matthew off guard altogether. He bit his lip and had to look away. He wasn't sure what to say, or even what to think. Instead he continued putting the books away.

“W-Was it my… It wasn’t Arthur’s fault… was it?” Alfred asked. Matthew cringed. There were a lot of things that had been Arthur’s fault. He wished Gilbert's death could have been one of them.. but... 

“No... No, it was my fault.” Matthew said softly, setting a book down gently... numbly. “I suggested we run away... and he got further than I did. Just not far enough.” 

There was a minute or so of silence and Matthew took it as a sign that the Alpha had finally let it go. He froze a moment later, book half in its spot as Alfred spoke “I bet he was great.” 

Matthew looked back, seeing the small encouraging smile and sad eyes. He nodded, and found he had no control over a tiny smile of his own. He let out a broken sounding chuckle, and a single tear slid down his cheek.  
“He was awesome.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look! it's not ALL heart break! right?... Right?! 
> 
> >.> Who wanted to kill me by the time Arthur had first left the room? be honest.
> 
>  
> 
> oh! I forgot! this is the version of Danny boy I used (It's the song Mattie sung) 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJJd_3zvmd0


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much Kat_The_Hetalia_Fan for Betaing this one for me~ you're awesome ^.^
> 
> enjoy the chapter~

Matthew stood in the bathroom, desperately splashing cold water on his face, “No no no no…!” He whispered as his cheeks warmed up again and again. His heat was starting early. This wasn’t supposed to come for another week! He could already feel a familiar rush of urges kick in and it was making him panic. Quickly he growled, giving up on the water and drying his face. What the hell was he supposed to do?!

Of course he knew what he was _supposed_ to do… He was supposed to push the call button and let the Beta’s know… But the problem was he didn’t want them to know! If they knew he’d be locked in the heat room while they prepped him. He wasn’t ready yet!

He looked up at the clock whining, it was seven in the morning, and someone would be coming to bring him breakfast soon. Oh god… there was a good chance it would be Alfred… What would happen then?! His face paled.

Horribly at that moment he heard the main door open and close. He waited for a sign of who it was… Not Alfred, not Alfred please!

“Mattie? Where’d you go?”

Damnit! Matthew whimpered, feeling slick build and leak, soaking his underwear at the Alpha’s voice. Matthew moved to pushed against the door, knowing if Alfred tried to open it he’d succeed, “G-Go away!” He called, unable to keep a desperate tone out of his voice, “I’m going to the bathroom!” please just leave… He’d never been around an Alpha in heat, he was scared.

“Are you okay?!” he could hear shoes hitting the hard floor.

“No! Please don’t!” He cried. Don’t get close enough to smell it on me… please! He didn’t even know how much control Alpha’s had, they weren’t even allowed in the Haven under regular circumstances.

The pounding feet suddenly stopped signaling Alfred freezing, “M-Mattie… are you…?” Alfred’s voice came from the other side of the door and Matthew only sobbed in reply, shaking to his core as fear mingled with the smell of heat.

“Awe shit… I… I need to… I’ll get Marie Mattie just hang in there!” The sound of retreating footfalls left as Matthew slid down the door. Alfred was too fast for him to object, and what was the point?! He couldn’t avoid this forever.

By the time the door opened again Matthew was panting lightly, it was so hot! He looked up from the bathroom floor, teary eyed, at the Betas who’d come to help him get ready.

Two of the three stripped him down, while the third piled blankets and pillows in the nest. It was a larger nest then what he was used to, the indentation in the floor a lot rounder than the more oval shape the Haven’s had been… but seeing the material there he was already formulating exactly how he needed it all to sit. What to twist and fluff, where which piece would go… How big it would have to be to fit two…

As soon as he was stripped he felt a cool wash cloth cleaning him. He jolted, not use to this step! “Sit still darlin’.” Marie chided as she continued, “Have to make sure you look presentable…” a brush was at his hair and he whimpered and shook again. He didn’t want them touching him, he wanted to nest… he wanted the safety of the blankets around him!

“Why does it matter?! I want to nest~” He whined looking towards it and needing to get his hands on that pillow… it was on the wrong side…

“It matters because you’ll be viewed this time… If you had wanted it to be less unpleasant you should have pressed the button when you first felt it coming on.” Marie said matter-of-factly.

Matthew paled. He’d forgotten… The first mating wouldn’t even just be him and Alfred in that room would it? A new anxiety joined his need to nest as Marie continued her work.

First mating was viewed to assure it happened, but also to be one hundred percent certain the Omega called out for their Alpha. It was considered consent then. One of the few rights an Omega had really. Of course after the mark was left, you were claimed and that was that. It didn’t matter if you never called out again, because you _belonged_ to them. Plus, it wasn’t likely for an Omega to be able to resist calling… If they were outside, they would have called for any Alpha to stop the pain… Matthew would have.

Finally, when Marie was done, and he had, gratefully, finished preparing his nest, he settled into it, feeling a small amount of relief through the building discomfort. He had no idea why they had brushed his hair because even before that heat room opened again to allow whoever was coming in to enter, he had been rolling in the nest, trying to find a position that would be comfortable.

The procession came in, quietly filing into their positions. Matthew was caught between two extremes. The desperate wanting of his intensifying heat (causing him to pant and bite back moans as Alfred’s scent caught his nose, slick dribbling down his thighs) and horrified embarrassment due to all the eyes suddenly on him.

When the door closed he looked up, the dark giving him the ability to see with his wide blown pupils. Alfred stood at the edge of the nest, naked, silent and respectfully waiting to be called. The look on his face was torn between apologetic and terrified, a blush covering it as well. Of course every time he looked towards his father, it was replaced with annoyance.

Alfred looked good… All sun kissed and glowing even in the dark, every inch strong and hard. One part very hard- No Matthew! But he whimpered, it was true, he could see how his scent was affecting the Alpha. Alfred’s chest rising and falling, rosy with arousal that reached up to his face, his hands tight in fist, blue ring around his eyes barely visible… and that smell! No wonder Alphas weren’t allowed in! It wasn’t fair that he was being so swayed by biology.

Within five minutes of them being there, Matthew was twisting and turning, half sobbing half panting as he fought back the sounds. He’d tried rutting against his hand, the nest, anything that normally would have helped, but with Alfred there it wasn’t good enough!

With his desperate display his face was bright red in the low lights. It was terrifying. All these people here when every other heat had been solitary, Arthur wearing a mask designed to stem the smell of heat, the staff, and even a small Omega who stuck so close to Arthur, they all lined the wall. They were all cast in shadows and towering over him from his position lying in the nest, exposed and tormented by his basic instincts.

“P-pl- mmnnnn!” He choked out, he was starting to lose all inhibition. The slick was soaking his sheets making them stick to him, a sheen of sweat over his face and neck plastering his hair there, his lower body was _aching_ to be touched. The smell of Alphas in the room, especially one dealing with his own answering arousal, wasn’t helping any of it much. Finally, his brain arguing that dragging it out was only making it worse, he looked up at the Alpha, taking in Alfred’s strained features, his lip obviously being chewed. Matthew cringed deeply before he closed his eyes and quietly moaned, “Alfred~”

He didn’t open his eyes as he felt the nest jostle, but he couldn’t hold back the gasping and mewls as the smell of Alfred surrounded him fully. There were rough hands on him suddenly feeling his hips and stomach for the first time, stroking them. He started breathing heavier with panic, flashes of Arthur’s rough hands touching him like that only months ago bringing tears to his eyes… He looked up to make sure it was Alfred, only feeling a small relief that it was. He didn’t want this, he didn’t want it at all! But his body needed it, called for it, and there was nothing he could do anymore… He closed his eyes again and braced himself for the raw hunger to set into Alfred. He was prepared for hard hands and fast rough motions, the teeth sinking in and the quick rutting…

But that’s when soft arms wrapped around him, Matthew clinging on instinct and a little out of fear, but the Alpha’s embrace was gentle. Through it, he could feel the tense shaking of holding back. That’s when it clicked, Alfred was new at this too. And yet, he took a moment of hesitation to nuzzle his nose next to Matthew’s ear, speaking softly, “I promise I won’t hurt you Mattie…” His voice shook with restraint and need, “I’m so sorry… Don’t be afraid okay?” Matthew barely gave a nod, tears falling down his cheeks.

A second later Matthew’s fears disappeared at once, his mind hazing. He threw his head back and gasped harshly as he felt the Alpha push into him slowly and gently. It felt so _good_ he wanted more! No, he needed more…

His head fell to the side, exposing his neck automatically as his nails dug in and his breathing became harder for a different reason this time, “Please~” He begged breathily as the Alpha paused, buried in fully, “Please move~” his wish was granted and he was a mix of dizzy heady mewling and breathy moans, Alfred's name thrown in, chanting it.

He felt good, perfect, amazing! The Alpha, his Alpha, was perfect! Why hadn’t he seen it before?! Hell, he could have had this five minutes ago if he hadn’t been so stubborn! “Alfred~!” he moaned again, loud and shamelessly, needy enough that even Arthur dropped his gaze. He didn’t care as long as Alfred kept moving just like _that_!

Alfred was grunting, groaning and kissing his neck, obviously lost in the wave himself, as he picked up speed with a light growl and it was getting better. Matthew’s own ministrations during heats were nothing on this, they’d never be enough again! Matthew’s breathing hitched and he arched up pleased, but he wanted Alfred to _bite_! He wanted… no needed… He needed the teeth to dig in! He whined, hoping he wouldn’t have to vocalize his wants, unsure of if he could even form the words to ask. It took a few more minutes of build-up. Alfred and Matthew both moaning, though Matthew much louder, mixing with cries, before he finally sunk his teeth in.

Matthew was seeing white, he felt his world explode as the Alpha picked up speed. There was a familiar arousal twisting in his stomach, but it was so much stronger in the heat, so much _better_ under Alfred’s gentle hold with his jaw locked like that. They told him heats felt good with an Alpha, but this! Between the overwhelming scent, the bite, light growls, and the pace Matthew’s words were no longer intelligible at all. His back arched and let out a high pictured mewl, feeling owned and taken care of and oh god it felt good!

It was the best thing he’d ever felt, finally fulfilling what his body screamed for, yet he was craving more. More more more! He wanted to be stretched to his limit, he wanted to be filled. Even though he’d never felt it, he _knew_ he wanted to feel the Alpha’s knot locking him, bonding them together. His nails dug in more at the thought as he desperately started repeating pleas for more, harder, faster, god don’t stop! Any thought of the others in the room was slipping away and his only thought was finishing as he grew hotter and hotter, feeling close to breaking the fever.

“Yes, yes yes!” He cried as he could feel the knot starting to twitch and swell. With one final, deep thrust, it expanded and Matthew howled. The wet splatter of himself finishing was barely even noticed as he clung desperately to Alfred, Alfred’s arms holding back just as tight as he gasped around the bite, rocking as best he could to milk himself dry.

The pair both loosened their grasp as they came down. Alfred let go of his bite, lapping the tender area gently, but was still buried inside. They’d be stuck for the next while. Matthew cringed away closing his eyes tight as a harsh light of the door opening hit his face. He heard the footsteps of the people watching leave and when he reopened his eyes, he and Alfred were alone. A successful claim.

Matthew panted as he felt soft kisses on his neck and face. He was still in the afterglow which was the only reason he wasn’t objecting to the affection, but his mind was creeping back. A level of upset ran through him, he’d just… and the begging…! He could feel tears prick at his eyes as his breathing ran uneven.

“Shhh shhh Mattie… It’s okay. It’s okay, okay? I’m sorry… I’m sorry I’d get off but uh…” He spoke, still slightly out of breath, Matthew looked up at Alfred’s worried face and he felt guilty. Behind the Alpha’s worry was a level of hurt and guilt.

“I’m okay…” Matthew murmured as Alfred wiped a tear off his face, “I’ll be fine.” Matthew said as his voice shook.

Alfred frowned deeper and moved to hold him again, “What can I do Mattie… what do you want me to do?”

If Alfred had asked that fifteen minutes ago, he’d tell Alfred to get out of his heat room, to leave him alone and let him suffer through this, but now…

Maybe it was the mark, or his heat, but Matthew clung back burying his face against Alfred’s neck crying softly, “Just don’t leave…” Matthew asked in a tiny voice, the sting of abandonment piercing him.

Alfred’s hold tightened and he nodded, Matthew felt that comforting scent wash over him, “I won’t go anywhere, I’m always going to be beside you.” He didn’t know why… but Matthew believed that in the moment.

Alfred didn’t leave. He stayed the entire week, excessive amounts of food being brought for the two of them three times a day. Matthew found he was hungry. Heats alone tended to make him feel almost too sick with want to eat, but when there was someone to temporarily turn off the burning periodically, eating became much more appealing.

After that first nerve wracking mating, Matthew discovered he preferred Alfred behind him. Not only did it hit his slicking gland easier, making everything spin, it was easier the lay down comfortably while the knot was still in place. He’d take spooning over being crushed.

That’s not to say he’d suddenly become enamoured… he hadn’t. In between needy points and when they were unlocked, Matthew would curl up alone on one side of his nest, leaving Alfred on the other. Each time he caught the sad look on Alfred’s face he felt a twinge, but Matthew couldn’t. He couldn’t just… give into it. Even if it was what his body called for, even if he wanted nothing more than to be close to the person who marked him… it felt too intimate and that scared him.

Mating was one thing, that was forced onto him, to both of them really, but he wasn’t about to let himself get all cuddly and affectionate with Alfred when he had his head. What would the point be? Even if Matthew could find a way to work around the heartache he still felt, what would happen when Alfred decided Omegas were fun? Matthew was his first Omega experience, and he seemed to be enjoying it so far, what about when he got another couple?

When he did… what happened when the heats lined up? Did he pick his favourite? It stung even thinking of getting close to someone and having that happen. So he wouldn’t. It was that simple. He was doing what he was supposed to, and he knew Alfred wouldn’t force it… Not yet anyway.

It was the last day before Alfred asked for anything actually, “Mattie?” Alfred’s voice said quietly. The Alpha had been startlingly quiet this whole ordeal so far, so Matthew didn’t mind rolling over with a questioning hum. He was completely taken off guard to see tears in Alfred’s eyes.

Matthew was too stunned to speak, but Alfred did instead, “I… I know you don’t want to because ya know… everything, but… could I just hold you? Just a little please?” He looked so unbelievably sad, Matthew couldn’t do anything but nod.

Warm arms wrapped around him, holding him close and he felt the Alpha shuddering, his breathing uneven, “Alfred… are… are you crying?” He asked, eyes open in shock and complete confusion.

“N-No…” He stuttered sniffling, “Alphas don’t cr-cry…” He hiccupped and held closer.

Matthew wasn’t exactly sure what to do with an upset Alpha… but he slowly wrapped his arms around Alfred, rubbing his back gently and awkwardly, “I’m sorry,” Alfred whispered, “I’m supposed to be here for you… I just… I’m sorry I just needed…”

Matthew frowned as Alfred trailed off, “Needed…?”

Alfred’s voice was small and Matthew hadn’t thought that was possible, “I needed to feel like you didn’t hate me… Even if you do. I’d understand it, I’m trying to be here for you and respect you and I know it won’t be enough. Kiku told me… He told me all the stuff that happens to Omegas and all the things he saw and I know you’ve gone through a lot because of my dad and- please just, don’t hate me…”

Matthew was caught between guilt and trying to process all that, “I uh…I don’t _hate_ you…” He muttered, “I just don’t… I can’t…” Matthew very much did not feel like playing share your feelings right now… but he was locked in a room with an Alpha who was apparently having a mental break because an Omega might hate him… It was beyond Matthew’s comprehension, but anything to stop the awkward feeling… “I can’t get attached.” Matthew finally said red faced.

Alfred nodded against him, “It had to be hard losing him…” Alfred said, and Matthew was about to interject that that wasn’t really completely what he meant, but Alfred kept speaking and it caught his attention.

“You know… I had someone I loved too.” Matthew didn’t say a thing, he had no clue what to say… “He’s a beta… I was gonna ask him to marry me.” Matthew nodded, cringing a little as his reason for distance was validated. At least he knew before he’d let himself get swept up in some stupid hormonal romance.

He was about to say he understood when suddenly Alfred held him closer, his voice panicking as he scrambled to explain more, though Matthew showed no upset and asked for no explanation, “I mean! It's not gonna happen now! I don't- I'm… I'm not like that… I couldn't be…” He said trailing off.

Matthew furrowed his brow, “You could… Alphas marry and have Omegas all the time don't they?”

“Yeah… but not me. I just think, ya know, one person right? It wouldn't be fair to him if I kept sneaking off once every three months to make babies we have to raise, or to you if I left you here all the time on your own.” Alfred cringed, “Like I said… I don’t wanna be my father.”

At first Matthew tried to push off the statement with an internal thought of not minding being left alone, but a sick feeling settled in his stomach for thinking it. He rethought the words and felt his heart both swell and break. Alfred had picked him and left someone who he loved? It was out of duty… but still, he bit his lip and looked down, tears gathering in his eyes. He had been so cold so far… Alfred trying to keep him happy, all while hurting and thinking Matthew hated him, “I… I'm sorry.” He whispered shakily.

He smelled the comforting warmth around him from the Alpha a second later, Alfred's voice sounding startled, “Hey hey no! Mattie… This isn't your fault! Not like you had much of a choice right?”

Matthew peaked up, tears still in his eyes. He had had no choices… He didn't choose to be born like this, or to be put in a Haven, or to be bought, fall in love, have his heart broken or end up breaking someone else’s heart in the process… he moved to press his forehead to Alfred’s chest, crying a little more for both of them.

He never thought he would cry for an Alpha… but he’d also gone without considering anything they had to give up or go through. He’d lumped them all in a group like Arthur or worse. He reasoned that this was all because his heat had his emotions on edge… But then the damn Alpha had to speak again!

“Look… I know this sounds cheesy, and it probably won't count for much under the circumstances, but…” He felt Alfred nuzzle against his hair, “I'm happy I have you Mattie. I'm not happy you're pretty much only here because you have no options… but, well… I guess I'm glad I could try and make it more bearable for someone…” Matthew sniffled and nodded. It was about as sweet as someone in his position could expect.

He spent the rest of his heat curled in Alfred’s arms, letting him know, at the very least, that Matthew didn’t hate him…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See~ not as sad this time! You starting to get a feel for Alfie yet?!
> 
> If you want some extra feels for that last scene, Keli pointed out this song that fit it eerily, just listen to Hot Chelle Rae ft. Demi Lovato - Why Don't You Love Me and see how that sits !


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhh~ My Holiday break from updating is over~ I hope everyone had a good holiday season! ^.^ 
> 
> Here is your new chapter lovelies!

“No, That’s bullshit! He’s my Omega!” Alfred yelled. Matthew winced and burrowed under the blankets a little further, hands pressed over his mouth, trying to muffle the sound of his crying as fear and aggression filled the room

“He is, and you have say over what happens with him when you sign this.” Arthur replied calmly. 

“I’m not signing anything until you change it so I have control over my own kids!” Alfred continued to shout. 

Arthur sighed “Alfred really, why must you always make everything so dramatic? It’s only the Omega’s, and It’s not like you won’t profit. It all goes into the estate, I’m not cutting any part of your life style off” 

“I don’t give a flying fuck about my lifestyle!” 

The fighting continued and Matthew shook listening to them. He had come out of the heat room, bathed gently and carried out by Alfred to lay in his bed to rest. The Alpha had stayed, not wanting to leave his side for the night, and curled up in the floor pillows to sleep. When morning came, so did Arthur. A brief eye rolling and comments were followed by paperwork and contract talk. Arthur had been waiting for Alfred to show up and get it done the day before in the office, but had grown impatient.

It was boring, but fine as Matthew sat in bed eating. Alfred sitting on the end on the bed, nibbling on a piece of bacon as everything went. Matthew wasn’t even really paying attention until Alfred stood suddenly and the argument started. he was only now starting to catch the gist of it… and it was terrifying. He curled tighter, breathing coming faster. He thought he was out from under Arthur’s thumb after this heat! 

“And what the hell is this?! you hold control over the-” There was the sound of paper fluttering “‘Children of Omega orientation, as well as those who have the potential to be Omega, _as well as the reproductive organs of the mother Omega’_ ”

Arthur rolled his eyes “It’s only a formality, it simply means if he isn’t producing anything of profit I can provide treatments to try and remedy it, or halt the process if it become more costly than it’s worth. I don’t know why you’re making a fuss, You’ll have complete control over the Alpha children Alfred, and once it’s clear if any of them are Beta’s you’ll have them too, Those are the children you raise and focus on. Though, hopefully, If you take after me enough, you won’t have many of those” Matthew could hear the idle clicking of a pen and it almost hurt. 

“And my Omega kids? What? you’re just going to sell them to the highest bidder the second they’re through testing?!” Alfred snarled. 

“You make it sound so callous,” Alfred scoffed, but Arthur continued “They’ll be put into the finest Havens of course. Assuming they don’t develop their mother's attitude, they will all find good families and be well taken care of.” 

“No! No I won’t do this!” Alfred yelled again. 

“Well, that is up to you.” Arthur said cooly, the sound of papers being gathered, “However, if you’ve decided you don’t want him, I certainly have no use for a second hand Omega, so I’ll call Western Home after lunch and arrange a transfer-” 

“Wait!” Alfred snapped, his voice sounding strained, Matthew froze as the aggression thinned. “You wouldn’t do that…” 

“I told you Alfred, if you didn’t want him, I had little interest in keeping such a handful around.” Silence hung for a second before Alfred spoke. 

“Give me the papers…” Alfred half whispered “I’ll sign them just… hand them over.” 

Matthew’s sobbing had ceased as the aggression did, but he was still a shaking mess under the covers as the sound of pen scratching across paper repeated over and over. 

“That it then?” Alfred asked darkly a few minutes later,

“Yes, that’s everything..” Arthur trailed, as if he was reading “He’s all yours.” He ended boredly as his voice moved away. the sound of the door clicked and Matthew flinched. 

He couldn’t help but go over the words and jumble of facts in a panic… So he was owned by two Alpha’s? Like he’d been cut in half and they both got a piece. He clenched his jaw, Arthur would be sweeping his children away… After everything he still won. he still owned Matthew… And Alfred-

“I’m sorry…” Alfred’s broken voice came through, as his weight hit the end of the bed again. “I’m suppose to protect you and I…” he broke off. Matthew winced at the sound of the Alpha’s voice. a few days ago, he’d want to hate him for this, but after everything he knew Alfred gave up, and the way he’d fought… 

Matthew took a second to try and compose himself, pulling out from the covers slowly. He looked at the Alpha on the bed in front of him. Alfred’s head was in his hands, he looked so pained… It struck a cord. Pushing back the part of his brain that screamed that he couldn’t, that he didn’t want to, the part that kept flashing a pale face and snowy white hair, he crawled over the blankets to Alfred. Matthew curled next to him with his head on the Alpha’s shoulder, “It’s not your fault…” he muttered, eyes looking down. He had no idea what else to say in that moment. It wasn’t okay really, but it wasn’t less than he should have expected… Arthur Kirkland had never been one to let go of anything easily… 

Alfred’s arms wrapped around him and Matthew allowed himself to be pulled into Alfred’s lap, sitting stiffly as his hair was stroked. They sat like that for gods knows how long. Matthew was not comfortable with it, but he bore it for the sake of the other. He had no idea how Alfred found it at all comforting… and he tried to relax, but he couldn’t. He was already fighting off a wave of guilt and irritation at being freely touched. 

Finally it became too much, and in an attempt to halt the uncomfortable affection, Matthew started asking questions leading into talking about Alfred’s Beta. Kiku apparently was his name, and the delicate nature of the discussion was enough to grant Matthew some space off of Alfred’s lap as well as a cure for his curiosity.

Alfred seemed to have no end of little stories, all sorts of things about the Beta. Matthew was riveted by them. it wasn’t the normal, boring and downright weird things that Alfred went on about endlessly. Matthew found himself caught up in the charm of it, torn between sadness that Alfred had to leave the Beta and a nagging jealousy that Matthew had no right to feel…

It took all morning, but eventually they rolled through what had to be the pairs entire history. From meeting in highschool, to falling for him, a first kiss right up to a last as he said goodbye to head home on his birthday. It was all drawing to a horrible close as Matthew knew what came next. The ending. The part where Matthew showed up, ruining it all… 

“The night I uh.. The night after we met, I called him…” Alfred started the pair had migrated around the room through the day, and Alfred was currently sitting backwards on a chair while Matthew sat at the easel listening quietly “I was so confused, It all happened so fast. I mean it wasn’t like I hate Omega’s or anything… just… ya know taken a bit off guard?” He looked at Matthew with apology, and Matthew looked down nodding. He’d come to terms with the meeting already, but it still wasn’t a happy memory, and he doubted it ever would be for either of them. Alfred continued,

“anyway I told Kiku what happened and that my dad had said I could keep you, but if I chose not to, he would probably put you in a heat house.” Alfred’s look turned pained, “ So, that pretty much made the choice obvious for both of us… ” He practically whispered the sentence. 

A brief silence hung, and Matthew frowned in confusion, not really understanding the explanation. The word, ‘Heat house’... It really didn’t sound like anything he was going to want to know about but, he asked anyway, needing to know what could be so bad that both would give it up for a stranger. An Omega one at that. “w-what’s a heat house?” 

Alfred looked at him for a second cringing deeply. he turned his head, not looking at Matthew as he spoke “It’s where they put… dysfunctional Omega- Not that I think you are! It’s just… for Omega that aren’t easily kept. whether they’re too rebellious, too much of a danger to themselves, or not really all there anymore and need too much extra care.” Matthew nodded stiffly as Alfred’s eyes flickered over and away again,

“The government runs them and it’s kinda like a haven… except... “ he paused and swallowed hard looking a little sick, “A-Alpha’s pay to… breed the in heat Omega’s there. They don’t get to keep the kids… those go to adoptive families right away.” His face hardened “but,any lengths to ‘fulfill our responsibility to preserve the Omega race’ ” 

Matthew cringed at the words of the decree, feeling a sense of sick panic himself. Arthur wanted to send him there… the title of ‘Western home’ suddenly came to mind and he felt even more scared, the smell tinging the air. Rebellious Omega… one’s who aren’t all there, who are a danger to themselves. He easily could have fit that, and Arthur had been ready to send him there this morning...

“I would never let that happen to you…” Alfred murmured looking down. “Neither would Kiku. He told me if I even considered it, he’d never forgive me.” Alfred smiled sadly and Matthew felt another stab of guilt, but any confusion was soon answered.

“He works with Omega you see.. In a haven.” Alfred continued “His job is to help them, calm them after they’re ripped from their families, while they adjust to living in captivity. He had to tell them they can’t play games, or eat things, or even dance around like most kids can because they may get hurt, and that somehow makes them worth less. He’s seen them after they get torn down for not being perfect enough by Alpha’s. He watches how devastated and terrified they get if they aren’t chosen, because even a shit Alpha is better than a heat house. How mindlessly happy they get over something tiny, little compliments or ‘good job’s. Then there’s the alterations which just-”

Matthew flinched and Alfred looked over cringing “Sorry… It’s not that it…” He tried and Matthew just looked down. They sat in silence for a minute. “Did it hurt a lot?” Alfred finally asked, Matthew looked up to see a deep frown and worried blue eyes. 

“It…” Matthew started, but dropped his eyes, Yes, it had hurt. Healing had been a nightmare and feeling a piece of himself gone was traumatic... But Alfred didn’t need to hear that right now. Not when he already looked guilty for something he hadn’t picked. “It wasn’t bad” he lied, “They gave me medication to help and… I was fine.” Alfred didn’t look convinced. Matthew felt a little hopeless before he remembered 

“Actually…” Matthew stood from his spot at the canvas, the painting had been forgotten a while ago. He moved to his bed, pulling a storage box out. “Arthur gave me something after that helped and uh… maybe you want it back?” Matthew pulled out the blue sweater, ignoring the album that had come out with it and now lay on the floor. He turned to Alfred holding it out with a sheepish smile and a shrug. 

Alfred looked confused for a second then realization set in “That’s my jacket?” He asked reaching out for it. 

Matthew nodded and handed it over his cheeks dark red, “I uh… I wanted something of yours after and that’s what he had, it helped…You helped me in a way,” 

Alfred turned the material over in his hands, eyebrows raised as he looked at the tag in it, cheeks flushed a bit as he undoubtedly caught sight of his name, now worn, written in it. A small smile crept onto his face, and Matthew felt a flood of relief. “Wow…” He said with a chuckle, tilting his head “this had to be from like...” 

“I was ten, so, eight years ago” Matthew said helpfully gently smiling back. 

Alfred’s smile faltered, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion, “You… you’ve known about me since you were ten?” Matthew turned brighter red, eyes opening wide. Alfred didn’t _know_ he’d been bought that long ago?!

He kicked the photo album under the bed without looking at it, suddenly interested in the wall as he scrambled for words, “I uhm…” This was awkward… the memories of daydreaming of the alpha who hadn’t known he existed, having his picture by his bed… His face was flushing deeper and deeper as he thought about it. 

 

It hit him suddenly and Matthew shook taking a step back as Alfred started to look a little less confused and a little more upset, aggression light, but there. “How long ago did he buy you?” Alfred asked, eyes still on the hoody, trying to keep his voice even. 

“I… I was eight…” Matthew whispered scared at the sudden turn. 

“Did he buy you for himself, or for me?” he asked sharply, Was this some sort of jealousy thing, some possession trip?! Matthew felt his eyes filling. Here it was, he was claimed and now the truth came out. Alfred had a taste of having an Omega and now he was going to realize Matthew was just a toy… Had this morning even been out of concern, or jealousy? Did he just not want anyone else touching or controlling something that belonged to him?

“Y-you… h-he told me the first time we m-met I’d be a g-good Omega for his Alfred…” Matthew said tearily as his head spun. 

Alfred must have caught the scent of fear as Matthew slowly backed away, he looked up and his anger fell off a bit, though not completely, “No, no Mattie! come on I’m not-” It came out harsh and he sighed, holding up a finger as he took deep breathes. His expression was still irritated, but his voice was gentler. “I’m not mad at you… I’ll never be mad at you…” 

Matthew maintained his distance, still shaking 

“Please… just… come here okay? I’m all good!” Alfred said with that heartbroken look taking over again. Matthew hesitated, but took slow step towards the chair, stopping just out of reach. “I’m sorry… It’s just a lot to process i guess.” He gave a lopsided smile. 

Matthew nodded looking down, he wanted nothing more than to go back to the bed and hide… 

Alfred sighed and Matthew looked through his lashes to see the Alpha’s head pressed against the back of the chair “Today has kinda sucked so far huh?” He asked. 

Matthew pursed his lips before nodded looking back at his feet, “Yeah...you could say that.” 

“I have an idea that might make it better” Alfred said, that smiling tone back in his voice. Matthew looked up fully, silently questioning and reproachful. “Well…” Alfred said, standing from the chair, a smirk on his face “I signed the papers, you’re mine now. Dad said I could do what I wanted so…”

Matthew’s eyes opened wide in horror, oh god no! He could possibly think.. oh no way! no no no!

Alfred looked confused for a moment then laughed and rolled his eyes “Yeah, not exactly what I had in mind, though good to know your stance on that! Come on” He said cheerfully and reached out and grabbed Matthew’s hand, pulling him towards the door “We’re gonna explore!” 

“W-wait what?!” Matthew said as the door opened and he was pulled to the edge “But Mr.Kirkland will get mad!” He said regressing a little to his younger days in the face of something new. 

Alfred turned with a boyish smile and laughed “But that’s half the fun! come on!” He winked pulling Matthew forward more. The blonde Omega cast a longing look back. Oh dear… 

of all the rooms in the house, It shouldn’t have surprised Matthew they’d wind up in the kitchen “Here ya go!” The blonde Alpha said, picking him up to place him on the counter with little warning, causing Matthew to squeak. Alfred just smiled brightly “Now you can watch me work my magic!”

“D-do I have to be up here to watch it?” Matthew asked shifting uncomfortably. The counter would only come up to his rib cage, but sitting on it it felt high!

“Don’t worry Mattie, You’ll be great. I wouldn’t let you fall” Alfred said with a smile as he grabbed stuff from out of the fridge. “I know you guys don’t really get to see much work in the kitchens right? too much hot or sharp crap. It beats having to sit in that room and make another pillow case cover… plus! I'm gonna make you some real food!” 

Matthew bit his lip, watching as Alfred put a couple kinds of ground meat into a bowl mixing them together “I guess so yeah…” He gave a small smile looking down at his bare feet “I use to hang out in the kitchen at the Haven when I was little, but I couldn’t get too close to the work station. I uh…” He went a little red “I had appetite problems” 

Alfred looked at him and raised an eyebrow “You? Really? They musta fixed that then!” He said grinning before quickly adding “Not that you look fat! Just healthy, you know!” 

Matthew snorted a bit at that and it earned an amused look. “Sorry” He said chuckling. He couldn’t help but find Alfred’s repeated foot in mouth moments funny. “Yeah, Arthur watched my eating habits pretty close so, here I am” He said leaning back and waving a hand down himself. 

He felt relaxed, it was odd… But Alfred’s energy just seemed to ease him into a familiar position. He refused to look into the connect of why a loud, energetic and dorky guy would be comforting… He just needed to keep his head in the moment. 

Alfred looked thoughtful as he mixed with his hands, Matthew wrinkling his nose. “So… What kinda rules did you have there?” 

Matthew frowned a little. Worried about setting Alfred off again… but he had just spent the whole morning talking about Kiku, which had to be painful, so… 

“Well… We couldn’t run around much, had to eat what was on our plates, eight pm bedtime, seven am wake time. Classes and all that” Matthew listed “Obviously anything dangerous like climbing, or carrying too much was out. only ages fifteen and up could take up needlework of any kind.” He shrugged. 

“Okay…” Alfred said, chopping up something green and leafy to put in. “But any you specific ones?” 

Oh… He wanted to know what his father had pushed for… huh… He sighed “well… uh… I had to take singing lessons, a little less physical activity and bigger portions at meals, I wasn’t suppose to lose weight or inches. I grew out my hair, my uniforms had to fit properly and I wear contacts.” He listed nonchalantly, frowning trying to think if he’d missed anything. 

“wow… that’s- Wait… you need glasses?” Matthew nodded. He’d been wear contacts solidly since arriving, taking them out at night and for his heat. “I don’t know how you wear contacts… I hate them.” 

Matthew shrugged “I didn’t exactly have a choice. I’m not overly fond of them”

“Do you _have_ glasses” Alfred asked,

“In my night stand yeah…” 

The tall blonde nodded “After I’m done this we’ll go get ‘em. I’d tell you to, but you might get lost. It takes a while for people to figure out the layout of the house. You’ll get the hang out it soon enough though” 

Matthew tilted his head and raised an eyebrow “I will?” Wasn’t this a one time thing. 

“Yup! Come on Mattie~” He whined as he started grabbing handfuls of the mixture forming circles. “That room is great and all… but it’s boring! We need to be able to wander around right? I don’t wanna spend _every_ day in there.” 

Matthew blushed and looked down at his feet again trying to hide his annoyance, “you don’t have to come see me everyday…” He said quietly. 

there was suddenly, of all things, a clean spatula handle under Matthew’s chin, Alfred’s slimy meat covered hand holding the other end turning Matthew to look into smiling blue eyes “And if I want to?” He asked grinning. 

Matthew’s eyes widened for a second before he looked away “well… you’ve been there almost everyday so far so… I guess… yeah…” 

Alfred frowned “do you not want to? “ 

Anxiety filled Matthew, not wanting to upset the Alpha he scrambled, “I… it's just… I'm use to some quiet time” Alfred blinked “Alone. -not that I wanna be alone all the time! I just… maybe a bit of me time in a day?” God now he sounded like Alfred….

The Alpha hummed and nodded “that sounds reasonable. But I still want you to be able to be free in the house. I feel weird locking a person away... I know!” he said suddenly excited “I'll get you a hat! If you wanna be alone, wear the hat and I won't bother you! “

Matthew fought back the urge to protest. A hat? That sounded ridiculous. Not to mention uncomfortable to read in. .. but after a minute he sighed in defeat, if it got him a little bit of quiet without being stared at… “just not a big one okay?”

“you got it Mattie!” Alfred said cheerfully as he pulled out a counter top contraption… Matthew watched quietly. He still wasn’t completely sure about how he felt about any of this… but at this point, he’d learned to just go with it. 

Even if it lead to having to wear a _hat_ to read.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. I know. This took bloody-well forever! I had a bunch of life stuff happening, some migrain meds gone wrong, a whole shit storm of stuff... and then writers block on this fic to boot. BUT! I think it's passed! I honestly spent so much time trying to get this chapter out... I spent half my writing time on this, and in the other half I updated Red, and wrote two chapters each to three GerMano stories I'm playing around with.

“Alfred” 

“mmmhmm”

“I have my hat on” 

“I know,” He sighed “That’s why I’m not sayin’ anything.” Matthew looked over with an eyebrow raised. Alfred was laying on the couch upside down, head hanging off, with his feet up over the back. 

“well… yeah but, you’re staring again…” Alfred frowned deeply at the observation and Matthew sighed. He closed the book and took off the beanie he’d settled on as his ‘quiet time’ hat. He’d only been reading an hour… but it was fine. Over the past four weeks Alfred had been pretty good about giving him the time alone he needed, especially as Matthew got more use to the house. 

Matthew had been terrified at first to leave the room… even if the door was left open a crack. He’d wait until Alfred came and half dragged him out. He wasn’t being overly ridiculous in his fear as far as he was concerned. It was a big place, easy to get lost in, Alpha’s roaming the halls. Arthur roaming the halls… 

Arthur hadn’t been overly pleased at Matthew's freedom, that much was easy to see. The senior Alpha looked very close to growling when he first saw Matthew out of his room. Frightened, the Omega quickly ducked behind Alfred and clung to his shirt for protection. A blunt, angry bit of questioning as to WHY there was an Omega set free in the household ended with “I signed the papers right? He’s mine, and I want him to be free range.” Matthew didn’t even care if that literally made him sound like a cow, it was worth the look of shock and disgust on Arthur’s face. He had to hide a smug smile against Alfred’s back. A light giggle stifled to sound like a sob he was sure fooled no one.

 

He still didn’t _like_ running into Arthur, it made him nervous. So he made an effort to stay away from him when he wasn’t around Alfred, which honestly wasn’t often. More than anything, coming out of his room and wandering around himself caused Alfred to relax a bit. Matthew could sleep in in the mornings, instead of being woken up to Alfred staring at him closely. Alfred knew the Omega would wander up to find him at his own leisure.

Now Alfred perked up, struggling to twist himself around when the hat came off. It wound up with him planting his face on the floor and Matthew cringing. Alfred scrambled up though, barely showing signs of his clumsiness. “So, hat’s off?” He asked tentatively, looking hopeful. 

Matthew nodded, “Hat’s off” The Alpha whooped, and soon Matthew found himself being pulled to his feet, lead out of the quiet of the library. 

“What do you wanna do? We could watch a movie-”

“Alfred I have-” Matthew tried

“Or cook something,” 

“Alfred”

“Play video games~” 

“Alfr-”

“Oh! We could totally-” 

“Alfred where are you dragging him now?” Arthur’s voice cut across, causing Matthew to stumble. his glasses slipping down his nose a bit. He pushed them back up as he moved to tuck himself behind Alfred, earning an eye roll from the elder Alpha. 

Alfred raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, you could practically feel the tension “We were just deciding what to do” He said simply. 

Arthur sighed, looking irritated “So, I suppose the appointment doesn’t mean anything to you?” Matthew cringed looking up at Alfred who just looked confused. “Honestly Alfred, I told you this morning!” He moved his wrist looking at his watch. 

“You can do what you like..” Arthur continued, almost sounding board, “But as per the contract, the appointment pertains to Matthew’s reproductive organs, so if you wish to go _play_ don’t let us stop you. Come Matthew” 

The penny seemed to drop just as Matthew was about to start panicking about being alone with Arthur for an length of time. Matthew could see Alfred putting it together by how he paled and that tiny look of fear behind his eyes. It wasn’t exactly comforting… especially not when Matthew himself was shaking at the thought of it himself… 

It had been four weeks since mating, it was time to see if anything had stuck. Of course, the pair had done such a great job of avoiding the topic, now Matthew realized he had no idea what Alfred thought about the whole kid situation at all, he only knew, once again, he was faced two less than desirable options.

one, he wasn’t pregnant, it hadn’t taken and he’d go back into heat in two months. That meant Alfred in the heat room again. Yeah, it hadn’t been _bad_. Obviously he’d… enjoyed it to a degree… but that didn’t help with the guilt that ate at him after. Nightmares of Gilbert's broken face watching, of Matthias shaking his head looking disappointed at the wanton moans, of a faceless Beta screaming at him for stealing his Alpha away. All in all.. it wasn’t a great feeling…

two, He was pregnant. That meant nine months with a tiny parasite inside him. He had no clue if he _could_ be happy at the thought of a child he was being forced into having. At the same times, he wasn’t entirely sure that it was a bad thing to be miserable about it. If he was happy and attached to the hypothetical child, it would hurt that much more if it was an Omega and he had it torn from his arms at the age of eight… maybe sooner looking at the resources Arthur had. 

This all on top of the pain childbirth brought. 

But, just like every other time he’d had horrible outcomes, Matthew wasn’t really going to get a say in any of this. If he was pregnant, he was. If he wasn’t, he wasn’t. none of it was in his control. The only comfort was, this time, it wasn’t in Arthur’s either.

“R-right... No, he’s mine, of course I’m going. I just didn’t realize the doctor was here already” Alfred said, clearing his throat and gathering himself as he slung an arm around Matthew’s shoulder. “Let’s go see… if uh, it worked right?” his smile was tense, and not at all comforting… Maybe a little terrifying.

Arthur hummed sarcastically and turned, walking so the others could follow, “Come along then. He’ll just be finishing up with Jack no doubt” Alfred nodded numbly and attempted another smile gesturing down the hall, Matthew nodded hesitantly, and they took off after Arthur. 

In a shorter time than he’d of liked, they reached the small room set aside for a medical office. Another Omega was being guided out, swollen belly looking near capacity… of course, that depended on how many babies he was having. The thought alone made Matthew nervous enough that the scent of fear tinged the air. Multiple babies were common in Omega… he could have more than one in there. He could be worrying about three! He found himself breathing a little harder,

Alfred was suddenly in front of him, eyes still tense, but hands gentle on his upper arms, “Hey, It’s okay Mattie. I’ll be right there with you okay?” He said softly. a comforting scent reached Matthew and he nodded, the breaths slowing a little as they hovered outside the room. 

“For god's sake… It’s only a test, no need for the dramatics” Arthur grumbled as he walked through the door, Alfred turned shooting an irritated look at his father before holding Matthew’s hand and squeezing it for comfort. 

When they got in the room, Matthew found Arthur was right that it was just a test… Nothing scary or invasive. No exposed flesh. He only had to pee on a stick, and he got to do that in privacy. 

within a few tense minutes it showed a positive sign. That was that. He was pregnant according to the cheerful looking doctor. Matthew watched numbly as notes were scribbled in the file. He had expected somehow that it would feel more Dramatic, but the parents to be both sat there in silence.

Arthur was the first to move or speak, nodding and looking mildly pleased before standing “Good, I guess he’s not completely dysfunctional than. You can go play now Alfred, though I assume you’ll be picking something safe.” 

Matthew looked over numbly to Al, half expecting at least Irritation, if not rage, but the Alpha was nodding with a simple blank look on his face. It looked a bit like someone had just dealt him an emotional blow, like he was only just told Santa wasn’t real, and he hadn’t quite wrapped his head around it yet.

Well.. At least Matthew wasn’t alone in his confusion… 

The rest the day had been spent in an almost unnerving quiet. They moved around, ate lunch, put a movie on… but neither of them spoke much, Alfred gave Matthew his personal space, and for once… it wasn’t what Matthew really wanted. He felt like the endless chatter of the large blonde might have been a benefit then, Chattering would have felt normal and maybe he wouldn’t feel so much like everything was collapsing.

The Alpha actually excused himself to go to bed right after they finished with dinner, Still looking stunned. Matthew sighed as he watched the other blonde walk off. He felt for the Alpha, but at the same time, what had he expected to happen? 

Matthew had settled into some sort of numbed acceptance by the time he was walking himself back to his room. He just kept repeating truths to himself, bring himself to terms with what was happening. He was pregnant, he knew this would happen and he couldn’t change it, so it was best to just accept it and move on. At least there wouldn’t be another heat room visit for a year or so…

He was fully ready to fall into bed when he arrived, however, he caught the smell of an Alpha that most certainly wasn’t Alfred coming from his room. He felt a shock of fear and suddenly felt the need to find his Alpha and hide, but Arthur voice came from the rooms new chair as Matthew turned to flee.

“You know… I’m glad you’re embracing a more Omega attitude, but I don’t buy it.” He stood, looking out the window as he continued to speak. “You didn’t shy away from me a bit in that heat room at the haven, and if you think i didn’t see the hate in your eyes every day after…” He turned looking coldly at Matthew “Well.. we both know you're not that dim.” 

He turned, walking to place the book back on the shelve. “I would also hope that you’re bright enough to stop trying to make me look like a villain in front of my son. Your flinching and whimpering is getting tiresome lad.. “ He sounded tired as he sighed irritation in his voice.

Arthur shifted his course, hands behind his back, to walk out the door, but paused beside the stalk still Omega, “ Do remember Matthew, I still own you” A shiver ran down Matthew’s spine, and with that… he left. 

Matthew stayed in the doorway like that for a moment longer, listening to the steps echoing further and further away as hatred and fear bubbled. He stepped inside, slamming it shut and let out a shaking breath he didn’t know he was holding, as he slid down the door. 

It took him a few minutes to gather himself, but when he did, he found that acceptance he’d settled on only moments ago shattered. He laid his hands on his stomach and frowned. No matter if it was his choice or not, he’d just given Arthur the key all over again… His throat tightened and looked down. “I don’t want you…” He said shakily to his stomach, before tipping his head back, staring at the ceiling with watering eyes and adding in whisper “I can’t want you…” 

-

Matthew spent the next two weeks in his room pleading exhaustion. Alfred would come and sit awkwardly for an hour or two a day and then leave. obviously not wanting to be there. Matthew gathered easily that this wasn’t in his dreams for the future. And yeah, he’d been happy enough to be there for Matthew, that was just another full grown person, but a baby? He couldn’t really blame him completely… If Matthew could run from it, he would too.

Regardless of having this picture of what Alfred was feeling in his head, by the end of the first week he had started missing the loud Alpha’s constant presence. Matthew had too much time to think, and when he wasn’t thinking, he was sleeping, but even that wasn’t an escape. He had nightmares, more than once he’d woken up screaming and crying in a cold sweat, with the room full of his fear, and today was no different. 

Matthew’s throat felt raw as he sat up so fast his head spun. he was already sobbing, having just watched something with glowing green eyes tearing his stomach open to draw out the life inside. He had watched the baby screaming in the things grasp, only to scream as he watched the shadowy beast bite into it. Like every time before, terror burst from him, His head spun in panic… but this time there was something that stopped him from screaming too loudly, it stopped him from falling off the edge. A heavy comforting smell surrounded him, along with a warm body and strong arms that held him anchored to the world. 

He turned without needing to look, collapsing in Alfred’s arms. “Shhhhh…. It’s okay Mattie, you’re safe, I’m right here…” 

Matthew’s sleep addled brain argued against that reasoning, “No! no you’re- not.. you’re al-always go-gone…” He gasped, clinging tighter. “why do you- let them g-get me!? I want them to stop...” His Alpha was suppose to protect him, and in that moment, he couldn’t grasp why Alfred kept letting things hurt him. 

The arms tightened, the smell strengthened and he felt a pair of lips on his hair “I’m sorry… I’m sorry Mattie, I’m not going anywhere again okay? I’ll stay as long as you want me here.” Matthew nodded, sniffling and the Alpha continued. “I know I’ve been breaking my promise… I’m so sorry…” 

Matthew had woken enough to be coherent, but was still not calm enough to let go. Selfish or not he clung, keeping the Alpha there while he cried. frustration, pain, fear… He had shit in life, no control over anything. No say, No joys… Only pain, and nightmares and loss… People that took and took, trying to replace bits they stole with material things… So he was talking all the comfort that was offered, greedily leeching some human caring as long as it was being given. 

Alfred didn’t let go. He sat that way for what had to be at least an hour, quietly holding Matthew as he took what he needed. Fingers were stroking his hair, lips leaving soft kisses on his head, every once in awhile a voice joined soothingly. It wasn’t until the Omega pulled away that he let go, and even then he stayed firmly planted in his spot.. 

“I’m sorry…” Matthew said for lack of anything else to say to fill the awkward silence that came with their separation. It wasn’t that he really was… But he’d lived through two weeks of silence, and he couldn’t stand anymore. 

“You don’t have to be… I should have been doing this every day for the past two weeks, I just…” Alfred sighed rubbing his eyes. “I knew… I mean, Obviously that’s what heats do, but I guess I thought it might take a few tries? Give me more time to get use to this. Either way, It was kinda jerky for me to leave you to deal alone.” He said with a sigh. 

“It’s fine…” Matthew said quietly, pulling his knees to his chest, not ready for the snapping answer

“It’s not! I made a promise and I wanna keep it!” Matthew jumped, and looked over wide eyed. The barely adult looked determined, so he just nodded. “Good…” Alfred said, softer this time, readjusting on the bed. “Now, is there anything you want?” 

Matthew furrowed his brows and sighed, a heavy exhaustion coming over him again from lack of peaceful sleep. He had a feeling he was going to regret it… but… “come lay with me? And just… talk to me while I fall asleep?” he asked without looking at the Alpha, cheeks flushed red. He was hopeful the scent, and familiar voice would keep the dreams away… Let him sleep properly. 

Alfred nodded and got up, moving around to the other side of the bed, slipping off his jacket before crawling to lay on top of the blankets, arm held out in invitation, but not one that felt pushy. Matthew shuffled down, turning to nestle in the Alpha’s arms, burying his nose against the other’s neck. He inhaled deeply and felt himself relax. “Thank you…” He muttered. 

“Of course Mattie… whatever you want, or don’t want, just tell me, I’ll do my best okay?” Alfred said softly. 

Matthew nodded, almost out once more as he murmured, “Just don’t go... ” 

“I promise I won’t” Alfred said softly, Matthew felt a kiss on his forehead before drifting off to sleep, dreams chased away by a quiet flow of words from the Alpha.


	23. Chapter 23

At first Alfred’s magical nightmare banishing powers were used sparingly… Matthew didn’t want to encourage him too much into thinking it was more than what it was. But after a month of nightmares that left him not eating and trying not to sleep, Alfred had put his foot down. 

“Okay, Why aren’t you eating?” He demanded as Matthew pushed the now cold eggs around his plate. 

“Not hungry… pregnancy thing.” Matthew answered, voice still raw from his night… and morning. 

“I read your file Matthew” He said and Matthew stiffened and shuddered. How much he had sounded like his father just then…. and he continued. “according to the doctors notes, you don’t eat when you're under stress. So what is it?” 

“It’s nothing” He rasped sighing, “I’m just not sleeping very well…”

“It’s the dreams isn’t it?” He asked frowning. Matthew swallowed and looked down, but that was all the answer he needed. 

“Maybe I should just sleep in here” He said sighing, Matthews eyes going wide

“No! I… You can’t…” Matthew said urgently causing the Alpha to raise and eyebrow. 

“Why?” Matthew fidgeted, going bright red as he pursed his lips. He didn’t want to say it. Alfred sighed, “Mattie, come on, tell me” 

“I don’t want…” He started, giving in because he knew the Alpha would keep pushing until he got an answer… He squeezed his eyes shut, “I don’t want anything _else_ to happen!” He forced out. 

There was a prolonged quiet, Matthew opened his eyes, looking up nervously. Alfred just looked sad. Matthew felt kind of guilty… The Alpha had given up his Beta for an Omega who just flat out said he’d rather take nightmares over being with him in an intimate way… 

“Mattie…” He said gently, though he could swear he heard a small amount of pain in there, “It’ll just be sleeping if that’s all you want okay? I swear. I just want to keep you healthy…” He sighed. 

And that’s what had landed him here. twenty-five weeks pregnant, curled up in his bed, the Alpha in superman Pajama’s curled around him.

He was uncomfortable. sleeping wasn’t disturbed so much by dreams anymore, but the Back, hip, chest pain, the forced sleeping position, the heartburn... He had been relieved to learn it was only one baby, and now he was thrilled it was. He couldn’t imagine how bad his back would be aching with two or more of the parasites in there…

He tried to push it away, not wanting to think of the thing inside him he’d begun to feel move. He’d been distancing himself from it effectively, though he still found himself mindlessly stroking the bump. Deep down, he felt a stir of affection for it… but he was working bitterly hard to push it away. It was too painful to acknowledge.

“Still can’t sleep?” Alfred asked softly, his hands had been smoothing over Matthew’s stomach and hips to try and ease the ache. It helped but not enough… 

“No…” Matthew whispered frowning. “This bed is too… hard, I think.” He shifted again, still not feeling good. 

“Okay” Alfred said, pulling away. Matthew turned around in confusion as he watched the Alpha move around the bed. He barely had a moment to protest before he was scooped up bridal style. “We’ll use mine then” 

“W-What?! B-B-But my… my room and my heat room-” he sputtered, clinging in fear of falling. 

“Mattie..” Alfred raised an eyebrow “I don’t think you're in any danger of heating _just_ yet. Besides,” He moved towards the door and out into the hall “It’s just for a night, I can get you a softer mattress tomorrow.” 

Matthew couldn’t argue any of those points, so he simply sighed and nodded, moving to get more comfortable in the strong arms. He’d been carried enough times in his life that it was fairly standard. The gentle sway of the motion soothed him, the ache in his back lessening, sleepiness taking over a little. 

By the time they reached Alfred’s room, his eyes felt heavy. The relaxing feeling of Alfred’s scent only getting better as he was taken into a room drenched in it. He inhaled deeply and his eyes closed peacefully. He heard Alfred chuckle right before he was laid on a cloud. He groaned in appreciation, rolling to lay on his side, burying his face in the plush pillow under his head. He couldn’t even bring himself to feel annoyed by the fact that he’d just been carted across the house, this bed was amazing… 

A moment later the blankets, that had been turned down already, were gently pulled from under his legs,pulled up over him and Alfred. The Alpha was behind him again, hands resuming the task they had taken up in his bed, rubbing gently and in no time, Matthew was out. 

The next morning had been slightly confusing. waking up in a new bed and all. But his aches were significantly less and thanks to the abundance of Alfred seemingly everywhere around him, he hadn’t had a single nightmare. 

However, he looked behind him, Alfred wasn’t actually there… “Al?” He looked around the room, blinking before he sat up. With a deep yawn he stretched. The Alpha was probably already getting breakfast for something… he was pretty restless in the mornings while Matthew slept in. 

As he stood he was hit with a need… a desperate need to get to a bathroom. He looked around the room frantically before locking on a bathroom. Quickly he moved his way towards it, not noticing the sound of running water until he was in the room and faced with very naked image of Alfred behind the glass shower stall. 

That alone might night have startled him so very much, but the fact that Alfred was leaned against the wall, frantically stroking himself in full view was definitely not something Matthew would have thought about! He turned bright red and hurriedly turned from the room, knocking a bottle off the counter by accident in his haste 

“Shit! M-Mattie?” came the voice and he cringed, continuing out of the bathroom hastily and then dashing from the room itself towards any near by bathroom really. He rounded into one, thankfully unoccupied, and locked the door behind him. His first step was relieving himself at this point because this _child_ was insistent on pushing on his bladder. The second was to die of embarrassment. 

W-Was Alfred in a rut or… was it just a normal _thing_. He’d messed around with Gilbert in the haven.. but outside of heats he’d never really touched himself… But Alpha’s were suppose to be ready to go whenever there was an Omega in heat right? He groaned and sat on the floor and tried to pull his knees up, scowling slightly at his stomach when he couldn’t. God he hated pregnancy. He couldn’t even hide himself properly. With that in mind there was a light tapping on the door. 

“Mattie?” Alfred’s voice called nervously

Matthew considered staying quiet, but that might lead to more drama than it was worth “Yeah?” There was a sigh of relief. 

“Can you come out? or… let me in at least?” 

“I’m sorry, I just needed to use the bathroom I didn’t mean… I didn’t hear the water and….” Matthew trailed off face burning again. 

“Ah… It’s okay. I shoulda locked the door, or uh… waited. Usually you're not up so early and ya know, you’re in your room…” How often does he do this?! Matthew’s face blazed worse, “But that’s not the point, uhm.. are you hungry?” 

“N-No I’m fine!” He called, not wanting to come out yet. 

Alfred’s voice sounding irritated, “Come on Mattie, you gotta eat. Embarrassed or not. It’s a natural thing and… it’s not like I’m exactly getting relief the way most Alpha’s usually do…” Matthew winced, and Alfred sighed, a thunk against the door and he continued sounding embarrassed as he grumbled. “it has to happen somehow and, if I don’t, I either rut or… or it kind of just happens in the night and-” 

“Okay! I get it!” Mattie called, not wanting to hear anymore. It felt like health class all over again… “I’ll… I’ll come out,” 

Breakfast was awkward to say the least. Hell, that whole day had been awkward. by bedtime Matthew’s room thankfully had one of the cloud soft mattresses like Alfred, so there wasn’t likely to be a repeat performance…. Alfred had slid, hesitantly into the bed, and the two eventually drifted off. 

Once the residual embarrassment had worn off in the days following, Matthew had begun to think more in his alone time as the Arthur-less month ticked on. Usually alone time had consisted of losing himself in books or hobbies, trying to escape his reality. Now he was focused on it. The incident still in his mind. Was he being unfair? Alfred gave up a lot, now he was going beyond to try and make sure he didn’t have ‘night emissions’ (The term had made Matthew go pink as he read the description in the Alpha health book.) around the Omega… Alfred would have been within his legal rights to take what he wanted. Matthew had called, he belong to Alfred, and still, the Alpha didn’t lay a finger on him without permission. even if Matthew didn’t sleep with him… could he afford to maybe be a little less cold? Alfred deserved at least kindness right?

It lead him down other avenues of thinking. One’s he hadn’t let himself think of willingly in so painfully long. If he was so cold to Alfred because he was an Alpha… What about his father? His little sister, who wouldn’t be so little anymore. They were both Alpha’s, they hadn’t been bad people. His mother had loved his father and yes, she’d been a Beta, but Papa hadn’t seen Matthew as a meal ticket because he was an Omega, he had bent over backwards trying to keep Matthew from Havens simply because he asked. 

“What’s wrong Mattie?” Alfred asked as the pregnant Omega sat curled in the chair of his bedroom, looking out the window wearing a frown a little deeper than usual. 

“I want ice cream” He sighed offhandedly, a hand on his painfully swollen stomach. It wasn’t quite all he wanted as his mind wandered further but.. it’s what he could have. Alfred didn’t need telling twice apparently. Matthew was always kind of surprised still how quickly the Alpha moved these days if Matthew asked for something. Ice Cream wasn’t an emergency, was there really a need to bound like that? It only made him feel worse.

He returned not even five minutes later with a small carton and a spoon, all tied together with that bright smile. Matthew’s mouth twitched up at one corner, but it didn’t reach his eyes “Thanks” He said softly taking it. 

Alfred frowned. “That’s not it is it… do you want a different flavour? I can go get something different” He offered and Matthew shook his head. 

“It’s not that, this is fine really…” He said taking a bite of the frozen chocolate treat as if to prove it. Alfred dropped to his knees beside the chair, resting his chin on the arm and screwing his face up in a pout. Matthew raised an eyebrow, it didn’t matter how bad he felt, did Alfred really need to pout? it made him look five...

“If you don’t _tell_ me what you want, how am I supposed to keep you happy? I promised I’d do my best, but if you’re gonna keep secrets you're gonna make me break it” He said a slight whine to his voice that made Matthew roll his eyes. 

“I can’t have it, so what’s the point?” Matthew answered quietly taking another bite when Alfred’s look didn’t let up. 

“Say’s who?” Alfred said, with a stubborn almost challenging look. 

Matthew sighed and looked back out the window. “when I was little, before I was tested, we use to go to the park, we’d get ice cream and sit under the trees to eat it… I guess I just miss being outside and away from walls, that’s all. Probably just a hormone thing...” Matthew said with another frown, brushing it under the rug and taking another spoonful.

“Is that all then? well up ya get, let's go” Matthew turned his head to look at the now standing Alpha with his hand held out. 

He furrowed his brows in confusion, “What are you talking about Al? that’s not a nice joke…” 

“I’m not joking, let’s go” 

Matthew didn’t move, still looking at him confused. He was feeling a little less bad, Alfred had never been so cruel as to dangle something in front of Matthew… “I’m an Omega, we’re not suppose to go outside… and I’m pregnant, that has to be twice as not allowed.” his voice held a touch of irritation.

Alfred scoffed, “Last I checked you were my Omega right? pretty sure I can say where you can go” He winked, pulling Matthew up to his feet. “besides, I’d like to see anyone try and get near you while I’m around” He added, keeping ahold of Matthew’s hand and leading him towards the hall. 

“Arthur will get mad..” Matthew said, not really caring about how this affected Arthur at all. 

“Let him.” He said with a shrug, a dark look in his eyes that was gone as fast as it came. 

Matthew sat in the front seat, still eating his ice cream as the wind from the open window hit his face. It was surreal, and despite the dark cloud he’d been living under recently, he was smiling wide for the first time in years. His hair whipped around, the engine purred as they zipped through the small nearby town. He could see people and trees and all sorts of things everywhere. The illusion of freedom was intoxicating and all too easy to buy into. 

Finally they pulled up at a small park, Matthew could hear children laughing as Alfred jogged around the little sports car to open the door for him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he stood up in the outdoors. Not just the smell coming in through open windows.. the honest, open, unKirkland, unhaven air. 

Matthew stood there in a daze until the Alpha spoke “Come on Mattie” He said gently with a soft smile. They got a few looks and some whispers as they walked over to a quiet grove of trees, Alfred just put his arm around Matthew protectively smiling at him. Matthew could smell the possession and warning aggression falling off him, but it made him feel instinctively safer. 

When they reached a comfortable looking spot, Alfred shed his jacket and helped Matthew to sit on it on the ground before joining him. The Omega leaned back against the tree, taking a bite and closing his eyes with a happy hum. The slightly cool breeze against his face, and the sun hit his denim covered legs, warming them, the smell of salt tinged air that made him wonder how close the ocean really was. It all felt amazing, he felt, even for a moment, like he wasn’t trapped in a cage.

Matthew, eased his eyes open and turned to thank Alfred, only to find the Alpha already staring at him with that lopsided boyish smile and gentle eyes. “I like it when you smile like this” He said, raising a hand, as if to brush a hair off Matthew’s face. Matthew’s eyes widened and he felt his face burn before Alfred seemed to realize himself and dropping the hand and giving a small shrug. The Alpha closed his eyes in a similar fashion to how Matthew had, head tilted back with a peaceful sigh. 

It was Matthew’s turn to watch him… his smile had fallen a fraction and Matthew bit his lip, tasting the remaining chocolate there. He ran his tongue over them to rid them of the sticky substance before moving to place a quick kiss against the Alpha’s cheek. Alfred's eyes popped open, and Matthew pulled back, returning his eyes to the ice cream. “thank you” He said quietly poking at the contents half empty container. 

“You’re Welcome Mattie” Alfred said, voice full of some form of happy relief. Matthew felt like a weight lifted off. Maybe he could try to be just a little warmer. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this was a fairly fluffy chapter. yes, I know what some of you are thinking! _"But wait! Will there be more angst?! We demand tears and feels and soul crushing!"_ Yes there will be! It's not going to just go fluffy guys, life doesn't work that way ^o^ Just enjoy and cling to the plush fluffiness while it lasts lovelys! 
> 
> and yes, it took bloody FOREVER. My slow down on chapters unfortunately is partly because of large amounts of writers block. I've been dealing with some excess stress since christmas and I'm hoping it'll lessen soon! I promise I'm working on it pretty much daily! It's just fighting me! (I re-wrote this chapter three times and I'm not joking) Thankyou to the people who send supportive comments and such as well, really it does help me push through ^.^
> 
> However! this story hit 101 subscribers just on here that's insane! Thank you all!


	24. Chapter 24

After the impromptu trip, Alfred and Matthew seemed to very slowly ease into a more relaxed state with one another. Matthew not pulling away from small gestures of affection, smiling more, speaking a little more sweetly. Slowly warming up to a point where he was starting to feel genuinely comfortable. Alfred seemed happier, and strangely calmer in the new dynamic. He softened and went from frantic and hyperactive to gentle and simply smiling all the time. Not to say he didn't talk constantly, just that it was easier to follow. 

Arthur had returned at the end of the month and miraculously the Alpha/Omega pair managed to keep the park a secret for a whole month after that. When it did get to him, Matthew was thirty four weeks and wasn’t doing a lot of moving around, let alone anymore outings. Still to say the senior Alpha had not been pleased to hear about it would be putting it mildly. 

The shouting was echoing through the house, and Matthew wasn’t sure what to do. They had been sitting quietly in the library, Matthew in his hat with a book, Alfred across from him on his laptop, when Arthur had come in. Matthew had seen him first, cowering and trying not to look too terrified, lest he set the man off more. But it hadn’t been Matthew he was after. Alfred had been roughly ordered into his office, and after a few moments of confusion, his face set in stony determination. He’d given Matthew a brief kiss on the forehead, one of the few affections Matthew had started allowing, before heading in. The door closed but it did little to block the voices. 

 

“What the hell did you think you were doing?!” Arthur bellowed. it was followed by a harder to hear, but calmer, reply from Alfred. Matthew, cautiously moved to the door to listen,

“I don’t care! He’s an Omega and they don’t go out, Alfred!” 

“Well he’s mine.”

“Part of him is yours,” Arthur corrected in a snarl, “You took my property out and put it at risk!” 

“I’m not going to lock him up forever! It’s not fair he has to be stuck in here all the time...” 

“It’s for his own good, Alfred, It’s dangerous!” 

There was a pause before Alfred continued in a quieter cold, “Do you want him to wind up like Mona?” 

The yelling got significantly louder. “She does not fit into this situation! The circumstances were completely different! Mona was already unstable and it was stupid of me to keep her!” 

Alfred was yelling now “No! It was stupid of you to ignore her feelings and shove her away! I won’t do that and I won’t lose Matthew that way!” 

Arthur spoke with venom “You could have fooled me, certainly give him plenty of chances by letting him wander unsupervised” 

“I let him wander around because I know it makes him happy, and I know being stuck in that room would have killed him by now, just like it killed her!”

“You know nothing…” Arthur growled after a moment

“I know I love him and I don’t give a rats ass what you think! I will keep him happy, I will protect him, no matter what it takes!” 

Alfred what? He couldn’t breath… He had so many questions, who was Mona? what happened to her? … did Alfred really… Love him like that? The thought had him shaking. He loved Kiku... not Matthew.. this was suppose to be co-exsisting right? being happy together, some physical affection... he thought that was the end goal...

“Alfred… Do you have any idea how most Omega’s view us?” Arthur said calmly

“I know how they view you” He snarled,“Mattie knows I’m different” He added confidently

“Does he now…” Arthur spoke softly now and Matthew had to strain to hear “So, I take it he’s returned your feelings then?” There was a silent pause and Arthur sighed “This lesson is not one that’s easy to learn son, but this is why we don’t love them… They can’t return the feelings It’s far too bloody a history, and they aren't raised to me able to-” 

“It’s different with us! He’s starting to trust me, and I’m actually there for him, I respect him!” 

“You’re also naive enough to assume that makes a difference!" Arthur yelled once more before continuing in a strain, but calmer voice "All you’re doing is lining yourself up to be hurt, and making a spoiled Omega who’s going to cause more issues than he’s worth. You need to start looking at the Omega for what he is, an investment.” 

The sound of a chair crashing to the ground was followed by a loud exclamation “No! You’re wrong about him, you’re wrong about all of this!” Matthew tried to move back quickly, but the large belly got in the way and he just wound up on his butt in time to not be hit by the door. Alfred paused looking down on Matthew in surprise at finding him there, obviousness of what he was doing sinking in and causing the Alpha to look hesitant, but that passed quickly. Only upset was left as Alfred hauled him to to his feet and yanked him from the Library and towards chaos. 

Matthew was working to keep up as Alfred lead the twisted way down to Alfred’s room. They got there and Alfred instantly turned them, shutting the door and pinning Matthew there with his body, hands on Matthew's wrist, not tight, but there. “Please” He asked, voice husky and eyes desperately searching for some form of acceptance, something to prove his father wrong. Matthew hesitated for a second, still trying to piece things together in the flurry. It only took a second for the pleading eyes to break him. He nodded, and after a sharp intake of breath from the Alpha, there were lips against his, feverish in movement. Matthew took the kiss, letting Alfred capture his mouth, eyes closed and trying to blank his mind and convince himself it was okay. He bit back a sob as he started kissing in return, obviously what the Alpha wanted (and what he was too confused to fight), earning a hand cradling his face while the other pressed into his lower back.

Pain started coming forward in his chest as he grew more aware and less lost. _Don’t think about him. Don’t do it. It’s been two years… he’s been gone two years and he’s not coming back! there’s no point!_ He scolded himself, moving to place shaky arms around Alfred’s neck, holding close as tears pooled in his eyes. _I’m so sorry… I’m sorry… please i love you Gilly I’m sorry…_ he chanted in his head pushing himself into Alfred, desperately _trying_ to be that for him, trying to be what Alfred wanted.

He yelped as he was scooped up. carried to the bed, he was placed down gently despite the hurried movements that followed. Alfred crawled between his legs, hovering over as a hand moved up under his shirt and over the bump “Alfre-ah!” He gasped harshly keening as teeth locked over the possession mark again. He was panting and whining, lost in a haze, even as Alfred let go and licked the spot. 

Arms wrapped up under Matthew’s back, lifting him to hold him against the others chest as Alfred murmured, voice strained and breaking, between littering kisses wherever he could reach. “I love you… I love you and you're mine and I’m never letting you go. I love you Mattie please please just love me. please be happy to be mine please” Matthew moved a hand from where they had landed on Alfred’s back, covering his mouth, hot tears coursing down his face, shaking as his breath hitched. 

Alfred looked up at him, pulled back just enough to see his face. Matthew’s eyes were full of sadness and unspoken apology, as he lost his resolve, “No…” Alfred started, holding him tighter and biting the spot a little harder causing Matthew to cry out and cling sobbing in a confusing mixture of wanting and sorrow and pain. He pulled off and growled “No you're mine! Y-you have to be! Please Matthew!” 

Matthew was openly crying now. He just had to say it. Just tell Alfred he loved him, of course he did and of course he was his… but he knew he only felt compelled to because he hated seeing the Alpha in this much pain and in the end he couldn’t lie… “I-I’m s-sorry! I c-can’t… I can’t.” 

Matthew pushed away, curling as best he could on his side, clinging to the pillow like a life raft and waiting in the following silence for a break, screaming, aggression, being ordered into his heat room… being taken whether he want it or not… The silence continued, It drug and drug only broken by two sets of ragged breathing. Just when Matthew was ready to lose his mind… “Are you ever going to be able to love me?” Alfred asked, voice straining and tiny. 

Matthew squeezed his eyes shut tighter forcing more tears out. He felt horrid… He couldn’t have asked for anything better then Alfred in this situation! but… “I… “ He started then stopped. He wanted so badly to say yes, yes of course he’d be able to! of course, in time, he’d love Alfred… who wouldn’t?! but it caused a deep ache in his chest, the cracks in his heart throbbing painfully. He didn’t want to cling so hard to a memory, but he honestly didn’t know if he was capable of loving anyone now. He was so damaged and terrified, he’d only just started to genuinely like Alfred as an Alpha. What if he let himself love Alfred, and he was taken from him too? What would Gilbert say if he was happy with an Alpha? Was he even allowed to be? It was all too much to think of so suddenly! 

“M-Mattie?” Alfred prompted nervously,

“I don’t know…” Matthew whispered, tears falling down his face “I… I want to, but I don’t know if-” His voice caught. 

He sobbed in true pain as he felt weight leave the bed, peaking up to look at a defeated looking Alpha. He moved, struggling to sit up right, panting at the effort past the stomach, the child inside ramming a foot into his ribs in protest, “P-Please just… g-give me m-more time okay? y-you can do whatever you want to me just… Don’t hate me” He was struck by his own words. How long had he cared about Alfred hating him? Not just out of fear of being treated poorly.. just because it would hurt if Alfred was cold…

Alfred frowned, angry as he clenched his jaw and looked away “Don’t” He stated. “Don’t you even…” His words were clipped as he gave a bitter laugh “You say it like it’s possible to hate you, or like I could even do that to you!” He spat, Matthew was taken off guard as he was yanked off the bed and pulled into an almost painfully tight hug, he could feel the other shaking. He returned the hold, nuzzling in against the Alpha’s neck muttering shaky apologies. 

It wasn’t long before Alfred laid him down, still holding tight, possessively. They both shook, but exhausted by the emotional upset, Matthew soon drifted into sleep. 

When he woke, there were no arms around him, He struggled and sat up, looking around the empty room. He listened for the sound of water, but there was only silence. The omega was about to stand when he noticed a folded piece of paper beside him, his name scrawled across it. Picking it up he opened to the same messy scrawl he’d seen that day in the Haven… this message was much less encouraging… 

_Mattie, I’m sorry. I probably should stick around until you wake up but… I just need like a week okay? Toris has been bugging me to go somewhere anyway… and I think it’ll give me time to process. It doesn’t mean I don’t want you, or I hate you, so don’t start on that again. I just… need a break. I’ll be back. one week. sleep in here okay? My scent is like… soaked into everything, and I left plenty of scent packs for your bear along with instructions to care for you in there instead of your room, so the dreams should be kept away._

_whether or not you wanna hear it, I love you_

_-Alfred_

The week that followed left Matthew to think and get his footing. He couldn’t just suddenly love someone.. it was impossible. Even if he had wanted to, and he wasn’t sure he did… But there was something he could do…

He could fake it and hope one day it just… became true. 

It was easier when he had the time to adjust to the idea. When it had been thrust upon him, it felt like the world was ending. But as he sat in the quiet of the room, it became easier. By the third day, it wasn’t hard really to miss him, so that was a step in the right direction. It was far too quiet and lonely… Matthew found himself moping, not leaving Alfred’s room for a second. Staying on the bed, holding his bear just so he could at least smell the other... He really would have died if he’d been left in his room alone all the time wouldn’t he? He would have lost his mind in depression... that’s what happened isn’t it? That’s really why Omega’s didn’t make it past forty generally. They were locked away from human contact, they had babies that were torn away… it wasn’t their bodies that gave out… it was their hearts... 

Matthew buckled down on the forth day, using his loneliness without the others constant presence as a foundation to motivate himself. 

When he was a child, wouldn't this have been exactly what he wanted? A princely Alpha who loved only him to swoop in and cherish him, regard him sweetly, care for him? He just needed to remember being that child! It was hard to connect to himself that far back though... before Gilbert, before harsh reality... back when there was excitement at seeing Arthur, when he would beam at the praise he received for his looks and progress. He tried to remember the hoody, and hearing Alfred's voice. The surgery had been awful, but those little bits of Alfred had made him so happy! 

Matthew had taken it as far as to dart (well, waddle quickly) down to his room, retrieving the photo album from his days at the haven, taking it back and wrapping himself in Alfred's jacket while he looked through it, trying to remember all the stupid stories he'd tell himself. It was hard... of course... then he got to a picture of teenage Alfred, Awkward looking in his suit, standing next to Arthur and Gilbert came to mind, before he could push it back, the hazy memory returned. Gilbert suggesting that Alfred would just lock him away, never see him, pump him full of babies. He remembered the quiet fear that grew from that when Arthur spoke of Matthew being Alfred's _first_ Omega. He had been so terrified... But that wasn't Alfred, Gilbert had insisted that's what any Alpha was going to be like... and he'd been wrong...

The thought settling in Matthew’s stomach made it as easy as breathing (which had been increasingly hard thanks to the parasite pushing against his lungs) to dash into the surprised Alpha’s arms as he came home and into his room carrying a bag at the end of the week. Matthew held tight to the front of his shirt crying, “I’m s-sorry” His voice shook as his breathing hitched, then he added quietly “I m-missed you” The bag dropped and Alfred’s arms were around him in a heartbeat, lips against his hair. 

“Mattie…” He started gently, like he was about to be sweet and serious and overly patient again. Matthew couldn’t let him continue, he couldn't bare an apology or whatever Alfred was going to say so he cut him off.

“I love you” He said clearly, face still buried and burning. It has the desired effect, Alfred’s arms tightening their hold as he felt the other’s breath catch. He was pulled back a moment later and Alfred was looking into his eyes searching. He expected this and he put on a sheepish look, not cutting eye contact. 

“Do you really?” the Alpha asked hopefully, voice shaking. 

Matthew smiled softly and nodded, teary eyed for a whole different reason “I do” There were Beta’s right in the hall, frozen and watching, all hearing as the lie tumbled so effortlessly off his lips. Lips that were captured in a second, Matthew held fast, moving along with the kiss, pushing his fairy tails and nightmares forefront to convince himself.

He was quickly, but carefully scooped up, carted off back to the bed where Alfred sat, Matthew held in his lap, as he once again littered him with kisses, these ones coming from a happier place. All of it was laced with words of joy and love. Matthew fed into it, Smiling for him, exchanging the words for him, leaning in for him, returning kisses for him. 

Just for him… he reasoned through the searing pain in his chest and tears he pretended were happy, because Alfred deserves this, I can do it… just for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst with some sugar ontop and a side of Arthur being an ass. Follow by fluff laced with glass? sure! here ya go! ^o^


	25. Chapter 25

“A-Ah!” Matthew gasped, leaning his head back with a moan “R-Right there- yes- ahhh~” 

“Like that?” Alfred purred

“Uh-huh~” Matthew answered breathlessly, turning to puddy as the Alpha worked over his exhausted hips. “Mmmm you’re amazing…” He murmured as he held the foot board to the bed, Alfred sitting behind him, thumbs moving in circles over the joints, massaging out the aches.

“I know” He said leaning forward to kiss between Matthew’s shoulder blades. The shirtless Omega peaked over his shoulder with a blush and a smile. Earning himself a more purposeful kiss on the lips. He smiled into it, returning it briefly before turning back forward. It hurt his neck to do that. “Love you Mattie~” Alfred whispered gently in his ear. 

“Love you too Alfred” He said softly before groaning again as the hands moved up his back. 

It had been four weeks since Alfred had left and returned, and it seemed at least, that Matthew was much happier. Truth be told, he actually was slowly getting there. At first when he’d decided to try and take on the task of being warmer, of pretending to love Alfred, he had anticipated it being impossible. He assumed guilt would swallow him alive, he assumed he would quietly cry, and have to force down food while lying through his teeth for everything he said, And it had been that way the first week. It had felt like the world was ending and he was smiling about it. He hadn’t been eating much, blaming it on the parasite’s position. His sleep was horrible and broken, nightmares and crying jags waking him nightly. guilt burning him up if he thought of Gilbert, but equally burning when he smiled at Alfred. 

At some point, he’d become too exhausted and sick from everything to think much on anything he was doing. He had still felt guilt at lying, or when he was reminded of his former love, but his brain was too tired to fight to hold the feeling all the time. During that he figured out, if he let himself, Alfred could actually make him fairly happy. The affection was comforting, kisses and sweet words started making him smile in earnest. Ever so slowly, Matthew started to get out of his own way. It wasn't that he suddenly loved Alfred, he still wasn't sure he _could_. A lot of the sweet words were lies, the I love you’s and like things, but it was something, some form of happiness he was desperately clinging too. 

“Okay.. I think I’m good” Matthew sighed, yawning. 

“You sure?” Alfred asked, sliding himself closer, wrapping arms around Matthew so his hands came to lay on the bump. 

“Mmhmm” Matthew hummed, slipping his shirt back over his head and leaning back against Alfred “I feel super relaxed…” He said dreamily, looking up at the gently smiling Alpha. 

“I’m glad” Alfred smiled, bending over to kiss his forehead. They sat like that, Matthew’s eyes closing with the smile still on his face from not feeling sore for five minutes, until Alfred spoke again “So… Have you thought of any names for the baby?” 

Matthew frowned and sighed. The Alpha had been trying for the last week to pull some form of excitement or happiness for the thing inside him out of Matthew, but it wasn’t working. “No. You can pick” He answered with a shrug. He had considered names for a hot second… but then he realized, all the ones he thought of sounded too close to people he’d already had to say goodbye to once. Michelle, Francis, Berwald, Gilbert, Matthias… Whatever he named this baby, there was a good chance he’d have to say goodbye to it to. The thought had hit so painfully, he had dropped the thought there.

“But what if you don’t like what I pick?” Alfred said, smoothing hands over the belly, causing the thing inside to kick more. 

“We’ll worry about it then okay?” He said verging on irritated. Alfred sighed, but he relented with a nod. 

“Okay Mattie, if you say so” 

-

“I want it out” Matthew groaned two days later as he stopped in the hall, whining as Alfred rubbed his lower back 

“I know… soon though, the doctor said it’ll happen soon right?” Alfred soothed. 

He had thought he was having contractions, finding out quickly they were only ‘practice contractions’ “Alfred, go find this Braxton hicks person and murder them for me… I want his head” The usually docile Omega whimpered. 

“I’m pretty sure he’s probably already dead.. Most likely because an Omega in your condition killed him, now come on” Matthew didn’t even object as Alfred scooped him, walking away from the estates medical room. “Are you hungry?” 

“...yes” Matthew said curling in “I want pancakes” He added. 

“I can do that” the Alpha said with a smile, ducking down to kiss Matthew’s forehead, Matthew looking up in time to catch his mouth instead. Little things like this, he learned, tended to make Alfred smile like there was no tomorrow, and he enjoyed seeing it. Especially when the other was making him pancakes.

Predictably, Alfred pulled back beaming. Matthew flushed a little “Can they be peach pancakes? With whip cream?” He asked nuzzling his head against Alfred’s shoulder. 

“I think I could do that.” Alfred said with a smile. “Maybe we should call the baby peaches”

Matthew chuckled. For the past two months, everything he craved had peaches. Peach cobbler, peach ice cream, peach yogurt, peach juice, even cup after cup of peach tea. 

“I dunno, I might eat it then” He joked, causing a raised eyebrow followed by a laugh. The Alpha put him down at the table and kissed the top of his head 

“I can’t believe you just made a joke! I didn’t even think it was possible” Alfred teased. 

Matthew rolled his eyes “I’m not that bad” 

“Of course not” Alfred soothed, getting to work. “I’m just happy your happy” Matthew smiled a small smile, but it faltered. A question had been burning in his mind for a month now. He just never knew how to bring it up… 

“Alfred…?” He asked cautiously. The Alpha hummed in question as he started mixing. “Who’s Mona?” Matthew regretted the question a second later when all movement and sound halted. Oh no… what had he step in? He’d been curious, but terrified since the Argument he overheard… well… listened in on… It was something that had kept nagging and causing him anxiety. How had Mona died? Was she really dead or was it some sort of figure of speech? What had Arthur done to her. 

Wordlessly, Alfred sighed, reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out his wallet, opening it and pulling out a piece of paper, he crossed to the table and put the small picture down. Matthew swallowed dryly and looked down. A women, sitting in a rocking chair with a smiling toddler in her arms. She looked tired, but was smiling as a tiny Alfred pulled on her hair. “She was my mother” Alfred answered, turning back to the pancakes. “She died when I was about six.”

Matthew nodded, ready to leave the topic alone as he looked sadly on the picture, but Alfred continued. “ I was her fourth child, but I was the only Alpha. Arthur’s first Alpha too. He has two others now, my little brothers, Jessie and Peter, but there off in private school.” Matthew nodded again, though Alfred wasn’t looking. “Anyway… when her oldest turned eight, she was tested, and was an Omega. Mona wanted to keep her home, and dad at the time let her. He had a sweet spot for her according to uncle colin.” 

“So… what happened then?” Matthew prompted, watching as Alfred poured batter on the skillet 

“Well, it was fine for a while, but when the second kid was an Omega too… and then his other Omega’s twins were both Omega and suddenly they both wanted to keep all these kids and he… well.. In the end he sent all four to havens. I mean, I guess it would be expensive right?” He said bitterly “Either way, Mona didn’t take it too well… and then more and more of her kids were Omega’s and eventually she just couldn't cope. She stopped wanting to see me because I was like Dad, she stopped coming out of her room. she would throw things at dad if he came in her room. It was bad”

Matthew could feel tears prick his eyes, it sounded awful… “ Eventually, he locked her in there, he did it with all the Omega’s because he felt it might... keep them calmer to not talk to each other. She was so far gone by then and he didn’t want to even see her. One day I was playing in the hall, and I heard Marie screaming, and I ran to make sure she was okay. I was an Alpha, we’re suppose to protect people right? But as soon as she saw me she scooped me up and took me away… Basically, your room has shatter proof glass for a reason. “ He ended. 

“I’m sorry…” Matthew said quietly from his spot, cheeks wet. Alfred nodded, 

“Well,” He said, flipping pancakes onto a plate and squirting whip cream. "all I can do, is try and be better than that right? It’s why I like seeing you happy." He turned with a soft smile, that held some degree of sadness. He placed the plate down, sitting and leaning over to wipe tears off Matthew’s face. “So, crying isn’t gonna help, now eat up! Maybe peaches there will come if they know your full enough not to eat them” Matthew offered a small smile and nodded, eating the pancakes slower than he normally would. 

 

Maybe Alfred had caught onto something with feeding him, because four hours later Matthew’s water had broken all over the library floor. Alfred had been helping him up to use the restroom when an unmistakably popping sensation preceded a large gush. Matthew had panicked, Alfred had panicked, Arthur had cursed about his carpets and ordered them down to the car. 

A half hour long car ride, and they arrived and now five hours of pain and crying later, Matthew was screaming in agony, crying out as the contraction tore through him even more intensely than the ones before it. He was sobbing and writhing as the nurse patted sweat off his forehead. This was worse than heats, it was worse than his arm, it felt like he was dying and he was dying alone! 

Alpha’s generally didn’t come into the delivery rooms, It just wasn’t a thing. They waited for their offspring and Omega to be cleaned up and presentable before they went and saw. Matthew knew this and yet he could smell the fear he was drowning the room in because he was alone with strangers and vulnerable. 

When the current contraction finally relented for the moment, the doctor moved quickly between his splayed legs to check on his progress. "The baby is ready Matthew, we can start pushing with the next contraction okay?" Matthew nodded, to signal he’d heard, not that he was ready. He wasn’t, he didn’t want this! He wanted Alfred, he wanted to go home! It was far too soon for him before another one hit causing him to cry harder. 

He pushed and his eyes flew open howling at the searing pain "Alfred!" He screamed. He wanted the calming scent, he wanted the warm arms that chased away bad dreams, and the voice that would tell him everything was okay, and that he would keep him happy and safe! "Alfred please!" He sobbed again with no answer as the contraction tapered off with no relief..

Another hit, and he didn’t even make it half way through the first ten second count before he gave up sobbing, "I can't I can't it hurts!" He cried as he nurses were trying to urge him to push again as he weakly shook his head. there was the sound of yelling from the hall and Matthew could hear Alfred and Arthur's voices carrying

"No! I don't care!" Alfred shouted and Matthew whined, wanting to scramble off the table and to him for safety and comforting but he just screamed again as another squeezing tearing, pain started.

"Alfred! It's what he's designed to do for god sake, he'll be fine! you'll only be in the way"

"He want's me, so I'm damn well going in old man!" 

"You're only going to spoil him more, if that’s possible at this point, by coddling him like that!"

"Then I'll fucking spoil him rotten! He's mine to spoil!"

Alfred burst through the door, letting it swing closed behind him as he rushed to Matthew's side. The omega was sobbing, holding out his arms weakly as his Alpha reached him, scent flooding him and his breathing almost instantly slowed, calming. a hand brushing sweaty curls from his face, as the other took his grasping hands, "Okay, it's okay... I'm here.." 

The nurse looked perturbed at the intrusion, but spoke sweetly "Matthew honey... you gotta push okay? We need to get your baby out. don't you want him out now?" Matthew nodded. He did, He wanted that tiny terrorist out! With the presence of Alfred, lending him the biological crutch, he felt ready to do it. "here comes another contraction. big push okay?" Matthew grabbed Alfred's hand, squeezing as he tucked his chin and bore down. 

It was a half an hour of pain, and exhaustion before she finally came into the world, her cries almost instantly filling the room. They swept her away and Matthew felt an unexpected flood of panic, but they didn't take her far, wiping her off, weighing her, and placing her in Matthew's arms all bundled up before he could put much thought into it. The almost nineteen year old Omega looked down wide eyed at the tiny squirming human in his arms... cloudy grey-blue eyes barely open as she made whining noises. Matthew's heart swelled and his breath caught as he was hit with a sudden and unexpected flood of love for the little girl in his arms. "Hello b-baby..." He said, tears filling his eyes and he gently stroked the soft skin. 

How could he have hated her? How could he even have tried to? In a moment he fell in love completely. Swelling anxieties came along with an undeniably strong maternal bond and need to protect and care for the tiny life. His daughter, his precious little baby. 

"She looks like you" Alfred said, Matthew looked up still shaking in a state of shock and exhaustion. The Alpha was smiling down at the baby, he reached out, smoothing a hand over their daughter’s head. "You’re perfect aren't you?" He cooed at the little one and Matthew felt a second flooding of hormone driven emotion, this time towards Alfred. Matthew looked up at him with the most honest, warmest smile he’d given in years, Alfred returning it, "You were amazing, Mattie," He said, leaning to place a kiss on his forehead, Matthew closed his eyes and leaned into it sleepily. 

When Matthew reopened his eyes a second later, Alfred’s face was still close as he admired their little girl. Reaching out a hand, Matthew placed it on the side of Alfred’s face. The Alpha looked down in curiosity and Matthew offered a small smile, tilting his face up and catching the other in a gentle, slow kiss, pouring the emotions he was feeling into it, "Thank you" He murmured against the other’s mouth before pulling away and turning his eyes to the baby in his arms once more. 

“Did you think of a name?” Matthew asked quietly, marveling at how the tiny hand wrapped around his finger when offered, paying no attention to the doctor patching him up.

“ I told you, Peaches. ” Alfred said smiling 

Matthew looked up at him with an eyebrow raised, but still smiling, he looked back down and thought for a second before smiling softly at her, “How about Georgia instead? Like Georgia peaches?” 

“I like Georgia, Georgia Jones” Alfred said smiling. Leaning forward to kiss the tiny beings head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I left you with a sweet chapter ending because, I might take even longer to write the next chapter. I'm going in for surgery soon, and trust me when I say the healing is going to leave me miserable XD I may still update my co writtens, but I doubt I'll have the patience to do much on my solo stories


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive! very sore still, but alive. This chapter luckily is full of scenes I had written and waiting since about... hmm... August or September? Just waiting to be edited into the right chapter. But here it is! and It's not even and April fools joke like I could have made it, 100% serious chapter guys. enjoy, and bring your tissue! <3

At first the name had confused him. Shouldn’t it have been Georgia Kirkland? Alfred had just laughed. He wanted to pick his own family name, not ride on the Kirkland one. It was pretty normal for Alpha’s apparently, but not so much for first born ones… 

Arthur was probably not going to take this well, it made Matthew nervous. On the one hand, he liked the last name Jones more. Kirkland bringing up way too much. But on the other, Arthur had control over all Matthew’s children until they proved not Omega, so invoking his ire… Well, it was scary to a degree. Still, he worked to ignore it, focusing instead on her. 

It was three in the morning, on her third night home Matthew sat in the rocking chair in the heat room holding her in his arms. She had just finished eating and burping, but she didn’t look tired at all, a stark contrast to how Matthew felt. At least having her in here meant it wouldn’t wake the Alpha… 

He looked down into the cloudy grey-blue eyes of a newborn, sparing another glance at the almost closed door. He sighed tiredly as he rocked and softly started to sing, brushing his hand over her hair and face as he did, “Your baby blues, So full of wonder. Your curly cues. Your contagious smile. And as i watch, You start to grow up. All I can do is hold you tight” 

He placed a finger in her hand, allowing her to grasp on as he continued with the chorus, smiling sadly at the lyrics, “Knowing clouds will rage on, Storms will race in, But you will be safe in my arms. Rains will pour down, Waves will crash all around, But you will be safe in my arms”

His voice choked a little, but he smiled watching as she calmed, eyes slipping closed, “Story books are full of fairy tales, Of kings and queens and the bluest skies. My heart is torn just in knowing, You'll someday see the truth from lies” He repeated the chorus, holding her a little closer, “Castles – they might crumble, Dreams may not come true, But you are never all alone 'Cause I will always, Always love you” he ended off barely whispering the chorus a final time, seeing Georgia finally slipping into a deep sleep. He stood, still humming as he walked to the crib, lowering her down with a final kiss. 

He turned back towards bed and jumped out of his skin. Alfred was smiling at him, half sat up, “That was beautiful Mattie” He whispered quietly and the Omega blushed 

“Thanks..” He said quietly, crawling back into the bed, allowing the arms to wrap around him as they settled, spooning. 

“I promise you’re safe with me too… I promise” Alfred whispered, nosing against Matthew’s hair, bringing a soft smile as Matthew held onto his hands, nodding and quickly falling off to sleep. 

 

The first month had been so peaceful. Cooing over his little girl, smiling as she gazed at him, watching with a building affection as the Alpha cared for Georgia. He had to lie less and less by the day. Not only happily spending time together with their daughter, but looking forward to curling up with Alfred at night, initiating more kisses, opting to stay close as he could, hormones buzzing. 

The effects of his mood shift hadn’t gone unnoticed and Alfred seemed ready to burst with joy constantly. Matthew could feel the emotions being poured into him with every touch, kiss, and look. It was intoxicating to be cared for so much and he had been so happy, he had blindly agreed with the thought in the early morning affection. Smiling and noting how lovely it would be as he watched Georgia sleeping on Alfred’s chest peacefully. 

Now he saw the error of getting caught up in it. He shook with nerves as he stood in the office half hidden behind Alfred, baby held to his chest as he rocked and bounced her just in the way she liked. He was trying to focus his attention on the tiny babe, unable to ignore the conversation that had started peacefully, and was now turning… 

“What the hell do you mean you want to marry him? you don’t _marry_ Omega’s…” Arthur scoffed, looking at Alfred like he’d suffered some brain damage. Which, to be fair, almost anyone would probably look at him the same way for the suggestion.

“No, _you_ don’t marry Omega’s… that doesn’t mean I can’t!” Alfred insisted, keeping his voice firm, but calm. Matthew waited wearily for a snap and terrified at what that would mean. He held Georgia a little closer. 

Arthur stared at him for a second, assessing his seriousness before turning to paperwork and brushing the idea a side. “Alfred, it’s not done. It’s unsightly…” 

Matthew could almost feel the silent growl building in the Alpha, “People are doing it more and more, dad!” He pushed “they use to all the time, It only stopped when we realized things were going down hill!” 

“It stopped for many reasons Alfred, and bringing it back is only begging to repeat history.” He said tiredly “The answer is no, pure and simple.” 

“Well I say it’s yes!” Alfred snapped, Matthew flinched, fear building a little as Arthur’s green eyes snapped up coldly. 

“I believe, as the head of this family, it is up to me and I say no Alfred.” Arthur said, slowly raising from his chair, staring down the younger Alpha. 

“We’ll just leave then.” Alfred said raising his chin and holding his ground. Matthew could already feel his blood turn to ice, fully aware of why that was a pointless threat, though he wasn’t sure if Alfred had thought it through at all.

“Oh?” Arthur said in cruel amusement, obviously on the same thought train Matthew was as he sat back down, hands folded on the desk in front of him, “ ignoring the fact that Matthew is still partly my property. Ignoring the fact that the child resting in your Omega’s arms still very well may be an Omega, and thus is under my control… How would you afford to live?” He tilted his head in curiosity.

Matthew watched Alfred’s jaw tense “I’d figure it out!” He pushed. 

Arthur raised an eyebrow before letting out a humourless chuckle, “Another half baked plan, no forethought, no planning, and there will be no follow through” He returned to work on the papers in front of him. “Go do something to amuse yourself Alfred, something that doesn’t waste my time while I actually do work to keep the roof over your and your spoiled pets heads.” He said dismissively. 

“No! Not until you listen-” 

“A-Alfred please…” Matthew said quietly. Shaking at the horrible undertoned threats Arthur had issued. The Alpha turned, face still set harsh, but it softened at his state, spinning to quickly gather Matthew against him, a calming scent wrapping around him. 

Alfred looked over his shoulder “This conversation isn’t over” He said simply, turning Matthew towards the door. 

“Of course it isn’t” Arthur said lazily with a sigh. Dismissing them with a wave of his hand. 

Alfred didn’t get it. Even as they returned to Matthew’s room, the Omega taking to a seat to feed the now hungry baby, Alfred fumed. “He can’t even take me seriously! I could do it! We could do it!” He insisted as he paced. “He’s so thick headed!” 

Matthew frowned, looking over to him. He was trying to figure out a way to breach the topic of Arthur maybe being correct and maybe just backing off the subject, without Alfred’s temper being kicked off. “How would we though?” Matthew asked in a small voice, rocking the chair gently, looking down on the baby feeding from him. 

Alfred was at his side a moment later, kneeling beside the chair. The rocking stopped and Matthew watched as Alfred placed a kiss on their daughter's head “ I could find a job, we’d find a small place. Just me, you, and Peaches” He said with an affectionate smile at the little girl with the sweet nickname. 

Matthew frowned, wanting to point out the reality of contracts and question the ease of things. He remembered back when he was a child, Papa had struggled so very hard to support him and Michelle and that was without heat rooms, Omega medical bills, or hospital costs for more children. Instead, he just sat in the quiet, watching on with worry. He just hoped he could trust his Alpha to keep him and the baby safe… 

-

Alfred had persisted for weeks, and Matthew was becoming more of a wreck with it. Arthur eyed him whenever they passed, or more over… He eyed Georgia. That made him even more upset… but it was something he didn’t mention to Alfred. He had tried to reason with his Alpha, asked him to stop fighting with Arthur for Georgia’s sake… Alfred had brushed it aside saying he’d never let Arthur do anything with Georgia. They were safe. 

Except they weren’t. 

"It's too soon" Matthew could hear Alfred Arguing in the study with his father. He’d been asked to wait outside the door after the start of yet another marriage discussion Alfred was forcing. Matthew had started on the couch, but soon migrated to near the door to listen, “He only just had a kid two months ago! He’s barely healed and you want me to put him through all that again?!” 

“dear lord Alfred it’s what Omega’s are born to do.” Arthur countered “Carry young, birth them, feed them… they’re for reproduction!” 

“Yes feed and care for their young! What about Peaches?!” 

“For the love of god, you named the child Georgia, at least use her name!”

“She’s my kid, I’ll call her what I want! and my Omega isn’t going anywhere near that heat room again for at least a year!” 

“Alfred, he’ll be fine! It was one child for gods sake! It’s not like he had a damn litter yet!” 

“Yet?!”

Matthew held his daughter closer, cradling her and rocking her as he moved away from the door, he couldn’t listen to more. Georgia was perfectly happy at the moment, but Matthew wasn’t. Arthur already wanted to knock him up again, Take Georgia away to kick start another heat early… would they give him his barely eight week old little girl back once he was pregnant again? 

He sat on the chair, smoothing a hand over over the baby's hair, kissing her forehead as he softly tried to hold in his crying. He sang softly, voice breaking a little, watching as she closed her eyes peacefully. “ But you will be safe, in my arms...”

He hadn’t expected to fall so in love with the thing he had deemed a parasite for nine months, but it was impossible not to when those big baby blues looked up at him, little gurgles and grasping hands reaching for him. Now she might be taken away. Matthew held the baby , rocking shakily and holding her closer as he cried. Why was nothing fair? 

 

Again, Alfred had simply soothed, Assured Matthew it wasn’t going to happen. He’d stop it from happening. This time Matthew watched as Alfred started pouring over books, the Alpha’s anxiety starting to show. He lost weight instead of Matthew for once (The Omega was determined not to let his own nerves affect the quality of his daughters food) and would be on the phone to lawyers, doctors and friends as he tried to sort through loop holes.

\----

weeks ticked by and Arthur hadn’t made a move… Matthew dared to hope he’d changed his mind, that he would put it off a while. Of course, he soon knew why he’d waited. There was less of a fight over it if Alfred wasn’t there… 

Then Alfred did leave. He had an appointment with a lawyer in the city. “I’m sure he’ll be able to help me figure this out and I’ll be back in the morning” He said brightly full of the optimism that Matthew couldn’t help return. He’d smiled, accepting the lingering kiss goodbye before watching Alfred drive off.

What neither had considered was how nerve wracking the separation would be for Matthew… He hadn’t been away from Alfred so long since the week he’d taken off months before. Now with Georgia here he felt further unsafe. Instinct alone prompted him into the heat room, pulling blankets down to twist into a nest, laying with his baby. He spent the day that way, smiling and cooing as he watched her burble, cry, sleep, eat, just breath. He could have watched her for hours… but eventually, tiredness came over him, and he drifted off, curled around her, pulling blankets over himself and trying to forget the fact that he was sleeping alone. 

With the morning came chaos. A weird and horrible nostalgia emerged, reminding him of the hell of Arthur finding the letters in his first days here… only what Arthur was after this time was so much worse, and Alfred wasn't around to play the hero. 

“No.. no no please, Please! Arthur please don’t…” Matthew sobbed as Arthur and Marie stood in his heat room, leaving him cowering and shaking in his nest. The head Alpha had just explained to him that Georgia would be taken to the nursery house a few hours away, “Please just more time, please don’t take my baby, please!” 

Arthur frowned in irritation “Really, There isn’t need for such a scene, you won’t be able to care for her in a heat anyway will you?” Marie gave him a sympathetic look and walked closer as Arthur motioned for her too.

“But she needs me!” Matthew wailed, Georgia now screaming as he held the child closer, turning his body away from the approaching Beta, eyes wide in panic, “Please she’s all I have!” He insisted. 

“Absolute non-sense, Alfred’s in here every damn day.” He muttered before continuing sternly, “I won’t listen to this, you _will_ hand Marie the baby, and you will not kick any more of a fuss over this or I shan't let you have her back after.”

Matthew’s heart cracked again, frozen but shaking with the threat so tangible… If he behaved he got Georgia back when he was pregnant. If he didn’t... Marie lifted the baby from his arms without any trouble and Matthew drew in a shuddering gasp at the emptiness of his arms. His heart shattering and his whole body aching in protest as he watched, unable to do a thing as his still crying and hungry daughter was being swept from the room and out of his sight for the first time… 

“She’ll be cared for expertly I assure you.” Arthur said, the ghost of gentleness from Matthew’s youth ringing in his ears as tears dripped from the Omega’s lashes, “You’ll stay in this room until your next heat. It shouldn’t take more than a few months to kick in, then you’ll have her back” Matthew just stared at the open door, not even sparing a glance at Arthur as his baby's cries faded and the rush of blood from his aching heart filled his ears.. 

He watched the heat room door close, a loud click signaling in was locked, and he moved numbly to collapse into nest, curling up and crying, surrounded by the smell of his baby. It had happened so fast… Again, happiness had been ripped away so fast, and all he had left was hope that he was good enough to earn Arthur’s approval. He felt eight years old again, he felt trapped, and he felt powerless… but mostly he just felt pain. 

-  
Alfred tore the heat room door open god knows how long later, and Matthew hadn’t moved. “Mattie!” He sunk to the nest, taking a hold of Matthew quickly. The Omega limp in his arms, unable to fight it or return it. too upset. Even the smell of comfort did little more than take the edge off his upset, prompting him to tremble instead of sit paralyzed completely. 

“Mattie, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gone I’m sorry… I’ll fix this I swear I will!” Alfred sat, stroking Matthew’s hair, pumping more and more of that scent into the air, murmuring his name trying to get a response

Ten minutes later, when Alfred had started threatening to call a doctor, Matthew finally moved, curling into his lap he could feel the Alpha sigh in relief, arms wrapped around him.

“I need to have another, than he’ll give her back… I need to… he’ll keep her away if i don’t” Matthew whispered, his voice cracking.

“I’ll make him give her back! I’ll force him to give me those papers if I have to Mattie!” Alfred said, determination of the statement causing a panic in Matthew’s chest. A twisting knife at the thought of it backfiring again. Of more pain coming from Alfred’s reckless heroism. 

“No! No please you can’t! what if Arthur gets mad and keeps her?! Please just… just- we have to-! I need to have another and It’ll be fine!” The Omega pleaded, praying he’d listen. It was just another baby, it’s what Alpha’s wanted right?!

“Matthew!” Alfred growled and Matthew flinched still clinging desperately “It was less than three months ago, you haven’t had a chance to heal! I won’t put you through that again so soon. I’ll get her back another way.” 

“Please Alfred!”

“No! It’s not happening! It’s not safe for you. I wouldn’t even go near this heat room if it started tomorrow!” He said sternly, aggression and force behind his words that made Matthew unexpectedly mad instead of afraid, maternal instinct breaking through.

“And what about when your yelling doesn’t do anything?!” Matthew snapped pushing away, his body freaking out completely, reeling with the loss of a child and the threat of that loss being permanent, “What about when he decides I’m causing too many problems and the next time you go to ‘fix things’ he sends _me_ away?!”

Tears were soaking Matthew’s face at this point but his eyes were angry, Alfred looked on in shock at the Omega yelling at him, apparently underestimating a mother’s rage. “He still has control over my reproduction and It’s been made crystal clear he’d have no problem sending me to a clinic! Is that what you want?! You’re sick of me and that’s it?! God forbid you spend another heat and have another damn baby even if it means I get my ba-by back!” His voice broke. 

“Matthew, that’s not it at all! you know that!” Alfred fought back, hurt in his voice “You know how much you mean to me, how much you both mean to me, and I don’t want to see you get hurt because it’s too soon!”

“It’s my body! Isn’t that what you keep saying?! I get to have a choice?! I can cut my hair, I can wear what I want, I can eat and sleep and sing when and how I want, but now? This is my choice and you’re taking it away because you don’t agree!” His breath caught and he started crying more, turning to bury back into the smell of his child, a muffled sob as his heart panged. 

“Matthew please just listen to reason...” There was a silence dragging, Alfred’s hand finally touched Matthew’s hair and the Omega smacked it away. 

“Do what you want Alfred…” his voice was strained, cold and muffled “I’m just an Omega, so I have no clue what’s best for me. I’m your property, so who gives a fuck right?” 

“Mattie…” Alfred’s sounded desperate and on edge, pleading.

“I was right all along,” Matthew’s voice grew tight, hands tightening on the sheets, emotion building again, tears stinging as he continued in barely more than a painful whisper, “You’re just like him…” as soon as the words hung in the air, Matthew flinched away and whimpered, aggression filling the room around him. The nest jostled a second later and the door quickly slammed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is called "In My Arms" By plumb. It is a beautiful song and you should really go look it up on youtube and listen~.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! new chapter, lotsa feels, and It's gonna slow a bit after this one. enjoy! Comments are always appreciated!

“If he doesn’t come to me when I’m in heat… I want to be inseminated.” Matthew stated, voice hollow. He was standing uncomfortably in Arthur’s office. His chest was swollen with milk, his eyes ringed in dark circles and he hadn’t bathed in the four days since she was taken. Matthew hadn’t been talking to Alfred, and Alfred extended the same courtesy. It was infuriating mostly because he was still hovering. Alfred would still stick with him all day, both silent, tense and angry. Then he would leave at bedtime only to be back in the morning. 

Matthew, knowing the pattern, had woken that morning earlier than he would. He’d left his heat room, dressing in a skirt for the first time in ages, heading straight for the library off of Arthur’s office and waited. It had surprised Arthur to see him there alone, even more so when Matthew asked to speak with him… alone. 

The head Alpha was leaned back in his chair now, an eyebrow raised, “And how does Alfred feel about this?” He questioned

Matthew’s skin blazed red, his eyes set on the floor already as he spoke quietly “He said he won’t come to my nest at all when I’m in heat… He doesn’t care that I…” He paused, and sighed softly and looked up, eyes tired and defeated, “He doesn’t care that I want to do what you want me too.” His eyes went down again, head bowing slightly in submission,. “As long as I get Georgia back, I’ll do _whatever_ you want…” He offered, dying a little inside at all the things that could mean, but so desperate to get his daughter back. 

“It’s a tempting offer pet” Arthur said, Matthew peeked up turning red, seeing him leaning forward on the desk with a devilish smirk. “But I’m not sure I’m willing to let my son feel that level of hate for me. I’ll consider clinical insemination however” He shuddered,

“Thank you Mr. Kirkland” He said

"yes yes" Arthur said, dismissively waving him away. 

Matthew turned and opened the office door to a wave of disapproval and aggression, a very pissed off looking Alfred standing there. 

“It’s rude to eavesdrop, Alfred” Arthur said from behind him, almost lazily. 

“You’d let him touch you…” Alfred growled, 

Matthew’s eyes were glued downwards as he cowered a little. “ I want her back…” He said quietly, not admitting or denying it. He didn’t want to, but if that’s what he was forced to do...

He cringed as Alfred stalked away again. Following a moment later as the words settled, making him feel sick at the line he’d crossed… “Alfred please, wait…” he called, trying to catch up. He wasn’t prepared for Alfred to turn on a dime, and he would have bumped into the Alpha if Alfred hadn’t already reached arms out to pull Matthew a little too tightly against his chest. 

Matthew could smell the possessive scent, heavy and thick, it was causing his knees to buckle under it, “You're mine” his voice was tight, and Matthew could clearly hear the growl in it. He fought it for a moment, submitting felt like losing, and losing felt like never getting her back. The scent grew heavier and Matthew whimpered. His head tilted to it, exposing the mark in submission when it became too much. A yelp filled the hall as Alfred bit down, rebuilding his pride and reaffirming his dominance. Matthew felt tears down his face, even more when Alfred pulled off, lapping ever-so gently at the mark and making him whimper. He was reminded that in the end he was Alfred’s… but he was also very much Georgia’s mother, and if Alfred forced him to choose… 

“Please Alfred…” He said tearily, down to begging. “I can’t lose her yet… please... I c-can't”

“I’m sorry…” Alfred said, his voice still tight, Matthew could tell he was fighting off aggressive desires, like the one to challenge his father, or to claim Matthew more solidly… “I just don’t want this! I don’t want to do this and hurt you… you mean so much and if something happened because it was too soon…” he held tighter to the Omega.

Matthew nodded, pushing his face against Alfred’s chest, shaking. “I’m sorry, Alfred. But this is what I need… I want it to be you, please I want _you_ in the heat room. Not someone else, not a needle…” Words he never thought he would utter, asking Alfred to come into the heat room, and now he was practically begging for it. 

Alfred’s grip tightened, “Mattie... “ there was a tense moment, Matthew’s fear filling the corridor, before Alfred’s body sagged in defeat, he nuzzles in against the mark, words vibrating there as he spoke, “Fine… you win… I’ll do it.” 

Matthew held tighter, crying and nodding. He nuzzled against the other in a thank you. “I love you Alfred… I love you, thank you, I love you” He gushed, overwhelmed at the thought of having his baby back. 

“I love you too Mattie…” He murmured sadly.

-

“Alfred!” Matthew woke calling panicked in the darkness, The Alpha stirred next to him and sat up, words tumbling from the Omega's mouth “I think the heat… I think it’s starting I feel warm please… please just now, the nest I’ll- I’ll go make the nest!” He said frantically, struggling with the covers. 

A hand was on his arm causing him pause, another on his forehead and there was a sigh in the darkness “Mattie… you’re not yet… you feel cold if anything..." This had been happening for three weeks. Weather it was a wake up in the middle of the night, or if he simply felt warm while reading or eating... 

Matthew swallowed, tears stinging his eyes “No… No I am this time! I-I have to be in heat because…” He felt arms wrap around his still slightly swollen belly, the reminder that it still hadn’t gone down fully only stinging more, “Because I need her back… I need to get pregnant so I can have my baby back!” Matthew sobbed, dissolving into tears completely like he’d been doing every day, collapsing against Alfred as the Alpha gently pulled him close,

“I know- I know. I promise Matthew…” Alfred said gently, but urgently in his ear “I promised didn’t I? as soon as it starts okay? But it’s only been a few weeks, it’s not here yet… Not yet…” Matthew continued to sob, and they laid like that for a while, Alfred trying to calm him, but he only seemed to be building to worse,

Finally Alfred broke the tenseness with a strained voice. “There’s one more thing we can do to kick start it.. but It’s not pleasant and you're not gonna like it.”

Matthew pulled away and sat up, eyes wide and eager, “What?! I’ll do anything, whatever you have to do to me just do it!” 

Alfred cringed but sighed and nodded getting out of the bed. “Come on…” 

-

Matthew was confused… He had assumed it was something like… doing _that_ outside of a heat. So he was taken off guard when this involved getting dressed and leaving the room… and even more confused when they stopped in front of one of the other Omega’s rooms. Matthew hung back in the doorway while Alfred crossed the floor. He looked back,

“Come on Mattie, it’s okay” Matthew looked around, and quickly darted to his side, grabbing hold of Alfred’s shirt and hiding behind him as they walked towards the heat door. oh god… no… Alfred grabbed a mask that hung from a hook in the wall slipping it into place before he raised a fist, hard faced, and pounded on the heavy metal door. There was silence from the sound proofed room, but a few minutes later the door opened and Matthew stumbled from the intensity of the smell. 

“What is it?” Arthur asked groggily, Matthew looked up shaking, barely holding back tears. Arthur looked more ragged than the Omega had ever seen him… hair mussed up, wearing a barely tied house coat and reeking of slick, musk and heat. 

through the muffling of the mask Alfred spoke, eyes a little empty “He wants to try and kick start a heat” 

Arthur raised his eyebrows looking at Matthew and Matthew turned his head into Alfred side to hide. He hated Arthur looking at him as it was, but when he was in that state… “You sure about that?” He asked. 

Alfred growled “Yeah well, for some reason he’s extremely motivated. Are you going to let us in or not? It’s what you want anyway right?”

Arthur sighed “Yes I suppose, the wall over there then. you’ll have to wait, he’s sleeping, but he’ll be up again soon.” 

Alfred nodded “Come on Mattie” He said gently and Matthew’s eyes went wide. They were going _in there_?! He froze letting go of Alfred and hovering outside the door once more. the Alpha sighed and looked irritated, his voice conveying it as well, “You want to heat early right? This is how you do it.” Matthew flinched but nodded shuffling to him again. Alfred’s arms went around him and they moved to the wall.

Alfred slid to sit, facing away from the nest and pulled Matthew down with him “Look… I know this isn’t pleasant” He spoke quietly “But Omega’s in heat can set each other off, I’m not really sure why-”

“It’s competitive breeding, trying to get the Alpha’s attention for themselves,” Arthur said irritably, “If you’re going to be in here at least be quiet.” 

Alfred held Matthew close and the Omega could feel the tension rolling off him, He looked up at his Alpha, seeing the irritation rising there. he cringed, moving to wrap arms around Alfred’s neck, getting close to his ear and whispering, “I’m sorry”

“It’s fine Matthew…” He whispered in return “Don’t worry about it…”

They sat like that, the sounds of sleeping in the room. Neither Matthew nor Alfred could possibly sleep. Matthew just curled against Alfred, uncomfortable with the thick scents already. He thought back to the first mating and it clicked. The little Omega in the room. He was there because Arthur wanted the heat to kick off... He wondered if it had worked, how much Arthur had been holding over their head, or if he had to at all. 

He was just nuzzling in closer to Alfred, trying to drive away the thoughts of how scared he’d looked when the whimpering started. Matthew’s head snapped up. Quickly looking away from the nest when he did, realizing it was probably rude to watch. 

“A-Arthur~” Came the voice, and Matthew couldn’t help himself, something pushed him to it, peeking over Alfred’s shoulder, watching as the Omega rubbed against the sheets, the smell of heat getting even stronger making him feel heady. There was a groan and the second body moved, Arthur’s scents kicking up in response, it made Matthew shudder, flinching slightly as Alfred tightened his hold. Not that it was painful, just realizing how it looked to his Alpha... 

Eyes flashed to his briefly, but then turned away like it was nothing, “Arthur please~” he moaned, pulling himself closer to the Alpha who was- Matthew hid his face with a squeak, Arthur was taking off the robe… and god he was naked… Arthur Kirkland was naked only feet away… and Matthew could feel his body tensing and warming at the scents and sounds. 

He peeked back up, a loud moan accompanied by a softer groan filled the room as they joined, the begging picked up as the speed did. Matthew started to pant as he watched the display… an odd feeling stirred in him… Jealousy. Why was Arthur paying attention to the older Omega when Matthew, so young and fertile, was right there? Alfred wasn't giving him what he wanted right now, but maybe Arthur would. He was letting off the right scents! 

Matthew whined softly, as Alfred’s hand went to his back, only then realizing that he was moving in time with Arthur, pressing his hips against whatever part of Alfred he could, trying to gain friction. The smell of Alpha increased, and he whined louder, starting to feel warmer and warmer, shaking. The other Omega was getting louder, clinging harder. His scent got stronger in competition, and Matthew let out an unfamiliar sound, a growl. He almost shocked himself out of it, as his scent started filling the room. 

“Bl-oody he-ll!” Arthur growled brokenly. Apparently not unaffected but Matthew’s biological call, or his verbal one as the Omega whimpered, “Out now” He snarled, hands tightened as Matthew watched him squeeze the other Omega’s hips.

Matthew yelped and whined in protest as he was picked up. Alfred sweeping towards the door ignoring Matthew’s whimpered complaints. They were suddenly out of the door, shutting it. Alfred ripped off his mask, hanging it. Within moments of him being exposed to the beginning of Matthew’s starting heat, Alfred’s scent filled. The much more appealing scent of a strong, young Alpha, the one who claimed him, replacing Arthur’s in Matthew’s head in a hot second. The Omega panted, pressing against him more, whining and nosing against Alfred’s throat 

“Alfred please, the room, I want to nest now please~” He begged, the discomfort growing more and more, "I want you~" He wanted to breed, his body was screaming for it. He hadn’t even realized Alfred had kept moving 

“Almost there” Alfred said huskily, and Matthew whined, breathing in more of the Alpha scent, his own building by the second. 

Finally they were in the heat room, and as soon as his feet hit the floor he was running for the nest, blankets already in it in preparation. He quickly twisted and adjusted them. Shaking with want as Alfred closed and locked the door. 

“Please Alfred now!” He whined, ripping some of his buttons right off in haste, still on his hands and knees. He could feel slick, he was hot and needy and Alfred smelled so good! He bent his lower half down presenting his ass as he looked over his shoulder, panting. Alfred couldn’t really turn that down, in the nest suddenly. Pinning Matthew down and clamping over his mark making Matthew moan in pure pleasure. No pain, just a jolt straight to his groin. He bucked back looking for friction, writhing under the scent of possession. 

The Alpha scrambled between his legs, forcing them apart and yanking the underwear down and off his ass in haste before plunging in deep without hesitation. Matthew practically howled, digging into the pillows and panting hard. “Yes~ Yes Alfred~” He moaned, causing the Alpha to shudder above him and start thrusting in. the fast pace, the stars across his vision, the guttural sounds, the teeth in his neck, even the knot that swelled and locked them together in bliss, It was everything Matthew remembered and more...

He shook and screamed and begged his way through the week, nuzzling in against the Alpha without hesitation between every round, keeping close and affectionate. He found himself more satisfied this way, all of his needs being met… except for the one to have his child with him… but knowing this was going to solve that issue made him happy. They’d have Georgia back soon, and he’d just have to get through another pregnancy! 

He pushed away the horrible feeling of starting a cycle of actions he’d have to repeat, soaking up Alfred’s previous optimism. They would sort everything out before the second came along, and he’d be able to keep hold of his two precious babies for a lot longer. And for now, he could just blindly enjoy the heat.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dear lord this took a long time... I've been battling some pretty bad writers block, some depression, and a tonne of life hitting all at once. But, you know, I follow stories that I've seen update twice in one year so... XD
> 
> Anyway! I hope you enjoy the latest chapter!

Stepping out of the heat room at the end of the week felt like re-entering the real world. He’d been lost in such a cloud of desire, fantasy and haziness he’d almost forgotten that the real world didn’t all smell like Alfred. It’s probably the reason he’d been made to go to the bed and lay down right away. stumbling and looking like he was in a complete mental fog. Matthew had even been content to lay with Alfred curled around him. The Alpha was clinging to him more than usual. Legs tangled together, a tight hold around his middle. It felt possessive, but in Matthew’s current state it wasn’t unwelcome. 

“Alfred?” He said quietly eight hours of drifting in and out of consciousness later, earning a hum of question. “Can we go see Arthur?” The arms tightened and Matthew squeaked at the sudden aggression hitting the air. It was followed almost instantly by calming, though Alfred’s arms felt tense still,

“Why would you want to see him?” Alfred questioned, nosing against the possession mark and causing Matthew to go a little limp with relaxation in his state. 

“I just… I wanted to ask if I could see Georgia…” He explained quietly. The past four hours he’d been working it out in his head. If he was pregnant, they’d be able to tell in four weeks… four more weeks. He was probably pregnant, so if he could just… get her back now? He could give the condition that he’d give her back if he wasn’t, but he needed her for at least that amount of time! Alfred relaxed a bit at that, 

“We can ask…” He said nuzzling in. “Do you want to go now?” Matthew held his arms tighter as a reassurance of sorts and nodded. Alfred gave a smile in return, “Alright, let’s get dressed.”

They stood in the library not long after. It was early in the morning, the sun still throwing orange after it's rise. Matthew kept picking at and readjusting his clothing, It felt weird to be dress after his week of being covered only by sheets and Alfred. Or maybe he was just nervous. He’d done what was asked of him, he’d pushed Alfred into it in the end… would that be enough for Arthur? would manipulating his son be seen as bad, or would the fact that Matthew had pushed beyond himself to do as he was told help him?

He dealt with a moment of shock as he found himself wishing he had never landed himself on Arthur's bad side in the first place. That thought had a lot of strings attached to it after all. A lot of things he would have had to take back and do differently that he would have sworn to never want to do a year ago... But would it have even changed anything? If Matthew had been a perfect little Omega like he had been when he was younger, what would have happened? Arthur might not had threatened to send him away, leaving Alfred guilt free and Matthew would have- He was interrupted from his train of speculation abruptly, and thankfully, by Alfred’s arms around him,

“Hey it’s gonna be okay. Deep breathing aright? I’m right here with you this time” Alfred soothed. The thought both comforted and worried Matthew. He had the support, but with Arthur’s view on their relationship and Alfred's knack for losing his cool...

“And what would you all like this time?” Arthur asked almost exhaustively as he walked into the library. Matthew could feel Alfred tense, but his voice was thankfully friendly,

“We wanted to discuss a few things father” he said with a smile, holding Matthew closer. 

“Oh?” Arthur said dryly as he unlocked his office, opening the door “Hurry it up then, I have to drive down to the city” Matthew unattached from Alfred, though gave in to hand holding as they followed Arthur in. Alfred seemed a little on edge after heat, so he'd play the middle ground.

The head Alpha moved around his desk, sitting and taking up the black chair there effortlessly. “Well?” He asked raising an eyebrow as he leaned forwards on the desk. Alfred was about to speak, but Matthew panicked as what might come out, speaking first in rushed nervousness,

“Please Mr.Kirkland, could I see Georgia? I d-did everything I was suppose to, so… please?” his eyes went to the carpet, trying to look small. Arthur hummed in an oh so familiar way and Matthew felt a shiver under his skin. His mind wandering back to the Haven, to the hands checking to see how thin he was that quarter, Trying to stop the thoughts from going to that last 'check'. He needed to not be pissed at Arthur right now... not when he needed something. 

“We don’t know if you’re pregnant yet. I believe the deal was, you got pregnant you got her back” Arthur noted and Matthew peeked up,

“He did-” Alfred started and was cut off by the blushing Omega, who had looked up fully now, 

“You can take her back if I’m not, but I-I’m sure I am…” he flushed further as Arthur smirked and raised an eyebrow. Alfred’s hand tightened it's grip and Matthew dropped his head hunching his shoulders forward, still so affected by the end of his heat. Even the possibility of disappointing Alfred was almost painful and he was bracing for the snapping that could result. 

“Georgia needs her mother.” Alfred started, another squeeze keeping Matthew quiet before pulling his hand away, moving to lean against Arthur's desk with his arms crossed, speaking in a matter-or-fact tone, “You’ve seen the statistics right? Offspring are healthier and happier when they’ve been raised by their mother. The studies in the latest journals have even suggested higher breeding rates and turn out for Omega’s and Beta’s in that respect, and Alpha’s turn out stronger with an easier dominance. Between the Kirkland line and that edge, Georgia should be top in whichever class she takes.” He shrugged “I always thought you were interested in the best breeding.”

Matthew blinked, peaking up. He hadn’t anticipated facts or reason… But there was Alfred, looking startlingly like his father with the barely interested eyebrow raise. Matthew’s eyes turned back to Arthur, digging for that deep Omega he’d been once upon a time, looking pleadingly and quivering slightly under the senior Alpha's gaze.

Arthur merely rolled his eyes. “For today you can take Matthew down to the nursery house. I’ll consider moving her back up with you and I will call to let you know my decision tomorrow.” He said cooly. 

Matthew looked hopeful “S-So I can go see her?” He could feel fear building next to hope. Ready to shatter if he had misunderstood. 

“Yes, You may Matthew” Arthur answered, looking him in the eye, a familiar feeling of approval causing him to shrink on himself and confirming he’d landed himself firmly back under Arthur’s control. A subtlety Alfred might not pick up on, but one he was going to need to get use to apparently... 

“Can we go right now?” Matthew asked, turning from the feeling to Alfred, looking hopeful.

The Alpha smiled “Course Mattie, Let’s go get you a jacket and we’ll head down.” 

Matthew beamed. “Thank you!” He exclaimed, darting out of the room by himself and down to his room looking beyond happy. He would deal with the fact that he’d played into Arthur’s hands again later. For now he was going to get his jacket and see his daughter! 

He wasn’t paying attention when rounding a corner, winding up toppling over someone, crashing to the floor with a yelp and landing on them. “Matthew!” Alfred cried, either hearing the yelp or smelling the shot of fear from falling. He swung around the corner just as Matthew looking who he’d bumped into, eyes wide. 

Alfred was helping him up. “Are you okay?! Did you get hurt, a bruise? A cut? Rug burn?” Alfred was checking over him as Matthew looked down, trying to hang onto the weaker smell of Alpha coming off the person who was staring right back at him with a pale face. 

“Matthew! What happened?!” Alfred turned his face and Matthew jumped to. 

“I-I wasn’t looking where I was going,” he forced his head to turn “I’m sorry…” he trailed off. 

“Why are you still on the floor?” Alfred barked, and Matthew felt fear at the tone “You should be watching, it’s not like you can’t smell him. He’s fresh out of heat-” 

“Alfred, shush.” Matthew moved his hand to cover Alfred’s mouth, earning a completely disgruntled look. The Omega wasn’t paying attention to that. He was shaking. He opened his mouth but the lesser Alpha beat him too it. 

“I’m sorry sir.” she said, suddenly hardening. Pulling herself to stand she brushed herself off, “I should have paid more attention. I will next time” She nodded to him, and moved to continue on her way, not giving Matthew another glance. Matthew just moved, not sure how to speak as he watched his not so little sister walk down the hall with purpose. 

He was still shaken when he reached Georgia. spending the day with his baby made him a little calmer, but it was like he'd seen a ghost. He’d been through all the therapy, read all the books. It was like you’re family died. Pretend your family died, or pretend you died because you were never going to see them again. Even in desperate situations it was considered cruel rather than kind. Yet she had been right there. It had been her right? Same bright green eyes, long auburn hair tied in the same pigtails, sun kissed skin, even a french lilt to her voice... But… there were a lot of people like that right? It could have been someone different. It had to have been. She was in uniform, working security. She’d only be… sixteen? No… Michelle would still be with their dad, in school. She had a much brighter future than working at the Kirkland manner. 

Georgia burbled, and Matthew was torn away from it again, looking down at his baby, “what a sweet little voice~” he cooed softly, rocking the chair. He looked over at Alfred, who was watching them, and returned his soft smile. Georgia mattered right now, not a girl who looked like a ghost from his past, and frankly he was a little upset he'd let his mind wander there so many times already that day. Now he was pouring over his daughter, taking in every part of her and committing it to memory, “Do you think Arthur will let us take her home?” Matthew asked as he watched the little girl fall asleep in his arms, holding tight to his finger. 

“If he doesn’t, we can come up everyday.” Alfred said quietly, moving to stand behind them, looking over Matthew’s shoulder. Matthew turned back and smiled brightly. Then looked down on the bundle 

“Hear that Peaches, Daddy and I are gonna be up here everyday if we have too.” he whispered softly, leaning down to nuzzle against the child, smiling a little bitter sweetly as he picked up the slight change in scent. With the switch to formula in her diet, Georgia was already moving into a scent of her own. She’d retain a certain amount of his and Alfred's scents until she hit puberty, but it would mostly be her once she hit a year. He’d missed out on weeks of her pure scent. 

“We do have to go back soon…” Alfred said sadly, looking at the clock on the wall. Matthew followed his eyes and frowned. It was close to dinner… How had he spent a whole day here already? It had gone by so fast. He would have argued to stay till later, but he knew nutrition was important to keep him in top shape for the pregnancy to take. 

“Can I have five more minutes?” He asked, voice thick as he worked to keep his emotions under control. If he got too sad, they might not let him come back tomorrow… 

“Alright Mattie” Alfred said, kissing the top of his head. “I’ll go get the car ready and come back for you” 

Matthew nodded as his Alpha left, only the not so tiny baby in his arms. He rocked the chair and sang softly to her, enjoying the last bit of his time for the day. 

Saying goodbye had been difficult. Handing her off to a nanny who she cuddled into like it was nothing had been particularly heart breaking, but luckily Alfred had anticipated a bit of crying. At least, the fact that a box of tissues hit Matthew’s lap as they got in the car would suggest so. All that was left for the day was to eat and hope Arthur’s call came early in the morning. 

Matthew sat at the table, poking at his food between bites. On top of the stress of not having his daughter with him, Matthew was also battling a sinking feeling that wasn’t helping his appetite . Since leaving his daughter, he had no distraction, if anything he was looking for something to distract him from that! Sadly the most pressing thing in his mind to help get through it was thoughts of the security Alpha he’d run into… 

“Alfred?” The Alpha hummed, mouth full as he looked up. “Is there a way to get a list of names? People employed here?” he asked, spiking piece of chicken and bringing it up to eat. 

“Yeah… I could do that. Why?” Alfred asked after swallowing the large mouth full of food. 

Matthew frowned “I just thought I recognized someone,” He said shrugging. “Not remembering the name is bothering me, but if i see it I’ll know it.” He flat out lied. He wasn’t sure what would happen if that was her… but he wasn’t about to risk getting her in trouble. 

“Alright, I’ll print it off tonight, but only if you actually eat Matthew” Alfred said raising an eyebrow. 

Matthew blushed, “Thanks Alfred” he said sweetly before purposefully putting a bite in his mouth. Tomorrow his distraction would be disproved, and with any luck, Arthur would call and he’d get Georgia back. Yes, all he had to do was get through tonight.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've had a crap month guys. honestly I don't even know how I got this done XD I don't wanna go into it really, but this is the next chapter! not many left either. Thank you for the comments and support and for being patient with me!

The list was longer than he expected. Looking over it the next morning was a daunting prospect.. the employee list hadn’t even been separated into orientation… not recognizably anyway, so he was looking at a list of dozens, possible a few hundred names of Beta's and Alpha's. To make it worst, he was horrified to realize he wasn't entirely sure what his last name had been...

He had only begun to scan the first page when Marie came to the room “Master Alfred, your father is on the phone for you” she said quietly and Matthew’s fragile interest in the list disappeared all together. Georgia his first thought. 

“Alright I'm coming” Alfred sighed standing from the chair he'd taken up after dropping Matthew's list off. The Omega was confused at the apparent exhaustion at the phone call… wasn't Alfred excited? This could mean getting the baby back! 

Maybe… maybe he thought Arthur would say no? It was a scary prospect.. 

Either way, the list was left, and he stood to trot after Alfred like a duckling. Alfred smiled back at him and took his hand instead, giving a small smile. “It’ll be fine Mattie, just relax!” He said cheerfully. Matthew doubted the smile and tone, but he gave a smile what was just as fake. 

They arrived at the office where the call was waiting and Alfred pulled him towards the chair, sitting down and pulling Matthew into his lap. The Omega blushed, but said nothing as the other picked up the phone “Hey there dad, What’s up?”

Despite his closeness, Matthew couldn’t quiet make out the other side of the conversation, but he understood when Alfred put a finger to his lips and said “No no. We’re alone.- Yup, he’s napping. Been so tired- It is.” He nodded, and Matthew sort of pieced together the conversation as best he could. “So did you come to a- Oh you did?-” Alfred looked annoyed “Well why couldn’t you tell us then?” He rolled his eyes “Okay, so it’s a yes than?” He smiled “ Thanks dad, and yeah I will, don’t worry.- see ya when you get back” The phone hung up and Matthew was staring with hope and baited breath, 

“What did he say?” He asked hanging onto the front of Alfred’s shirt, shaking just a little with worry,

“He said we can go pick up Peaches tomorrow.” He said with a smile, then a laugh as Matthew threw arms around him. He got his baby back. He could wait one more day! 

“Can we go see her today?” He asked excitedly, wanting to hold her and tell her she was coming home.

“Not today," Matthew frowned in disappointment, so Alfred continued, explaining,"The nurses need to prepare her and everything, but tomorrow I’ll go get her okay? Besides…” He offered an apologetic smile “You need to rest up. Ya know… make sure everything… sticks” He said somewhat uncomfortably. 

Matthew looked down at his stomach and frowned. Oh yeah… Alfred hadn’t exactly wanted this had he? Not that Matthew did so soon… but Matthew had forced the issue and he couldn't see his anxieties over it going away just because it happened...With this in mind, he nodded “Okay, I can wait one more day” 

Matthew was in his room an hour later, on the bed, being held there by Alfred as he told Beta’s and lesser Alpha’s where to put what for Georgia in his room. There was a crib, toys on the floor, blankets, a swing. Alfred watched them all closely, keeping Matthew from helping, but also letting off a bit of possession. It was a little irritating… but it’s not like he could say much about it. 

“Where do you want this one sir?” Asked a female voice from the door. The same girl with big tails was carrying a change table with a tall red haired man. Matthew was again hit with a sense of knowing her. Familial affection shooting. He pushed it down. She just looked the same! Nothing more. Michelle was too young to be working here!

“ Just over there please” He said quietly, pointing towards the wall and leaning back against Alfred. He suddenly wanted out of all this bustling… a sadness taking over. “ I’m getting tired Alfred” He said shifting so he could curl into the Alpha. 

“Alright Mattie” Alfred said gently, kissing his hair. He looked to the busy room “Alright, we’re done for now” He said louder with an air of authority that made Matthew remember Arthur was his father, and they started filing out. 

“Thank you..” Matthew said weakly. Probably much too quietly to be heard. He held tight as Alfred predictably laid them both down, surrounding the Omega with strong arms. He nuzzled in there and fell asleep to thoughts of his early childhood.

“Don’t be scared okay?” He said soothingly to his little sister “I’m your big brother, and I’ll be right here okay?” The nervous little girl in pigtails with pretty red bows nodded

“Okay…” she murmured, clinging to her brother, squeaking as the bus hit a bump. He hugged her close to comfort her. It was her first day of kindergarten and Matthew was in second.

“He’s not your brother!” A third grade girl said, turned in her seat “You don’t look the same at all!” she argued. 

“He is too!” She said, a narrowed eyed glare. “Our mommy just decided to love me, yours got stuck with you” She said with a huff. Matthew watching wide eyed as his little sister surprised him, turning back to cuddle into him, playing with her pig tails. 

It wasn’t a week before Michelle had proven herself to be a tough little Alpha when faced with bullies. Though she still came home after school with Matthew everyday and curled up on his lap, making herself small in his arms, “Thank you for being the bestest big brother ever Matt”

“What a pair I have” Papa would say, coming into the living room with a snack… but Matthew frowned deeply, Everything was so vivid and real feeling.. Except, he was unable to quite remember their faces… 

Matthew was woken by a gentle shaking, “huh?” He said, breath catching in his throat as he sat bolt up. “W-What?”

Alfred sat up as well, concerned “Are you okay Mattie?” He asked raising a hand and hesitating

“I.. I’m” He sniffed then noticed the wet feeling. He wiped his cheeks on the back of his hand “I’m f-fine… just a dream. W-What time is it?” 

Alfred gave him a look, then sighed, turning to look at the clock and grab Matthew his glasses. “It’s dinner” He said handing the black frames over. 

“Oh g-good. I’m hungry” He said with an unconvincing chuckle. He swallowed hard and scrambled out of bed, “Let’s go Alfie” 

Alfred still looked worried, but nodded and got up “Let’s feed ya then” He said with a small smile, putting an arm around Matthew’s shoulders, pulling him close as they walked. 

Matthew thought as they made their way to the kitchen, continuing to think as he was sat in his usual spot on the counter to watch Alfred cook. He wondered what his family was doing now. How did Papa handle it? Were they still living in the same town? Was Michelle looking at a mate? How strong was her Alpha tier? 

Did they ever miss him?

By the time food was done, he wasn’t even trying to hide the frown. 

“Mattie, what’s up?” Alfred asked, frowning deeply. “You’ve been off since you woke up.” 

Matthew forced a small smile and shrugged “Hormones?” He suggested. Which, honestly it could be… Why else would he be prompted to think about his past. He knew it was dangerous ground, and yet he was doing it actively. 

“Alright” Alfred sighed, buying the excuse though Matthew couldn't see he didn't really believe that was all.

The next morning Alfred had breakfast with him, Matthew still quiet and not feeling himself. He’d gone to the front door to say goodbye as his mate took off to get Georgia,

“Cheer up Mattie, okay? Me and peaches will be back in no time” He smiled, and Matthew smiled and nodded,

“Alright Alfie.” he paused “I love you” He said before standing on his toes, kissing the Alpha sweetly, the reaction was a gentle hum and a returned kiss, arms looping around his middle, settling on his lower back. He let himself go in it for a minute before Alfred pulled away,

“Love you too~” He cooed. Matthew smiled genuinely and chuckled, 

“Just go so you can come back” He said rolling his eyes. 

“Yes Ma’am!” He said with a smile, bouncing back, saluting and turning to run down the steps to his car. 

Matthew shook his head, chuckling more and headed back in and down to his room. There would be a guard outside of it soon, and he’d rather be inside before they got there… Alfred had done it so he could still wander the house and be safe, but Matthew had other plans.

He sat in his room, on the bed with a book in front of him. He took a deep breath. Was this a good idea? He’d already tormented himself enough hadn’t he? Still, he opened the book. It wasn’t like Alfred gave him much time alone… and with the mood the other had been in lately, he didn’t think looking at these would help. 

He pulled out the journal entries, running careful fingers over the words he hadn’t read in months. He sighed, paging through each entry. It seemed like so much had happened, like it had been a decade between then and now even though it hadn’t been. 

He read them over and over, frowning sadly. He missed Gilbert… though he had to admit as he thought back, It had been childish hadn’t it? It didn’t mean he’d loved Gilbert less… but it hadn’t been a very solid relationship, and he’d been very selfish. In the end, maybe Gilbert was a little selfish too. It wasn’t their fault really. They were raised in selfish ways. Told from the time they knew what they were that they were special, raised not to lift a finger for anyone, that everything would be done for them. It wasn’t really a way to raise someone was it? Kind of setting them up to fail if care ever wasn’t there.. 

Matthew sighed deeply, maybe they deserved to be a little selfish. He looked around his room the memory of coming here and seeing it for what it was, a cage, sobering him. It shouldn’t effect him now though, he considered, he didn’t even really remember what it was like not to be caged. A not unfamiliar bitterness grew again in his chest. Like today, Alfred gets to go get their daughter while Matthew has to sit her for the baby. He was convinced it was there now thanks to how emotional he felt. 

He closed the book with a loud, dry snap, curling in on himself and sobbing, not holding back. He couldn’t. He needed to cry about everything… There was a soft knock on his door a female voice carrying “Are you alright Matthew?” It carried 

“I’m fine!” He snapped, angry at having a guard, He shoved the book under his bed and curled up on his bed, face in a pillow as he just let himself have a little time to fall apart before his daughter came home.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all asked for this. If you thought if was going to be happy well...

Matthew’s mouth fell open with a gasp, hands on him so gentle, yet firm as they traced indistinguishable patterns. A warm mouth over his throat in the spot that made him arch. Everything just… it was everything. 

 

He moaned, pushing himself up against Alfred’s body needily, begging for more as he felt a hardness pressed to his leg “Please Alfred~” He whispered breathlessly, just wanting more. He wasn’t driven by heat or pain, just lust and wanting. Just a current beneath his skin that had him thrumming with desires he’d always written off. 

 

Alfred smiled against his throat “I’ll give you want every you want” He murmured there “All you have to do is ask”

 

“Please Alfred… I just want you…” He murmured the scene fading and giving way to the darkened room and the crying child in the crib. He came to his senses as he ground close to the very real Alpha in front of him, as he felt himself very obviously panting and shaking with it… 

 

A dream.. Oh god! It had been a dream. Matthew rolled away, earning a protesting moan from the body he’d just basically been humping. Georgia gave another cry and Matthew, red faced and hurriedly as he could, got up to soothe her before she could wake her father who was pawing for contact and awkwardly left hard… Matthew turned away from the scene, completely involving himself with the tiny girl instead of the dream. 

 

Having his daughter home made Matthew happy. He could count her toes and kiss her and snuggle with her, sing to her. Everything he’d wanted to do. His life was made better a few weeks after she’d first come home when he was tested and found out the heat had stuck. He would be able to keep Georgia with him. But then it was made worse when he was measuring large and more tests were run…

 

“Three?!” Alfred exclaimed as the doctor moved the internal wand to look at Matthew’s uterus. “How- but- three?!” 

 

“Yes, three flickering heart beats. It’s triplets. Congratulations” The doctor repeated, 

 

Matthew felt ill, and not just from the three children or the wand stuffed up him in the most unpleasant way… he was carrying a litter. Georgia had been hard enough during pregnancy, but now he was going to have to grow three at once?! And so close! 

 

“Matthew breath” He whipped his head to look at Alfred, only then realizing he was hyper ventilating. 

 

“I have to have three?!” he said in a high pitched, scared voice. “P-Peaches was hard, now I have to deliver three!?” 

 

He’d since calmed and adjusted. It would be fine, they would take precautions and he would get a longer break between this time… but it lead to awkward symptoms

 

During his fist pregnancy Matthew had been dealing with nightmares and rebelling against everything… now he’d settled and mellowed in most ways. Now he’d found a kind of love for the Alpha in the bed, things were very different. 

 

He still felt tired and hungry and nauseated, but he also had been having dreams like this one. It concerned him. He had enough on his plate right now… not the least of which was the belly of three babies three months along. 

 

However it also wasn’t the most. He sat in the rocking chair after changing his little girl, rocking her gently and humming. His biggest issue right now, and possibly what was contributing to the dreams really, was that Alfred had started working. It had been a month ago that Arthur had insisted he start at the company, earn a paycheck, get out of the house. Basically get away from Matthew. 

 

Matthew looked at the clock as Georgia fell back asleep, It was another three hours before Alfred would wake, they would have breakfast and he’d leave for work. Matthew wasn’t entirely sure if he should crawl back in bed, or just try and nap later letting Marie take Georgia briefly. Going back to bed could lead to more dreams which, if Alfred ever woke up in the middle of, could land him in a position he wasn’t sure he wanted to consider. 

 

Oh but he was considering it. 

 

Regardless, between the work, Peaches, Matthew’s own internal battle and the prep for the triplets he hadn’t touched the list Alfred had brought him since. It was swept away onto his shelves and forgotten. It wasn’t that he didn’t care, and every time he caught a glimpse of the young woman in the hall he paused and wondered.. But it was quickly swept away with peaches being hungry, or Matthew needing to look into plans for a nursery to accommodate all his children across the hall. 

 

That was the reason he decided to crawl back into bed after placing Georgia back down. He wanted to join in with Alfred in the morning, looking over plans, picking out a few cribs from the store room full of baby furniture

 

He curled with his lower body away from Alfred, getting back into a hopefully dreamless sleep. 

 

-

 

Matthew wanted to go outside, he wanted to expose Peaches to sunlight and warmth and fresh air! It’s not like she wasn’t… but it was always with a nanny. It’s one thing Alfred wouldn’t budge on. He didn’t want Matthew outside without him, and these days Arthur kept him so busy with work… by the time Alfred got home it was too dark and cold. 

 

He sat in the library, Georgia in her cot back in the room snoozing as he looked longingly out the window with the baby monitor by his side. He sang very softly and lazily under his breath “Are you going to Scarborough fair… parsley sage rosemary and thyme…” He sighed deeply when he caught a scent that whipped his head around. Alpha! Not very strong but- He locked eyes with the brown haired girl as she entered the room. 

 

They stared at one another for a moment before she turned “Sorry to disturb you, I was making rounds” She said as she went to leave, Matthew felt panic at his only chance so far to get her alone slipped out.

 

“W-Wait!” He said and she stopped, turned back around. “I’m sorry but… C-Could you stay and talk?” He tried “It… It’s a quiet day and it’s nice out but I can’t go out so if you had a moment?” He tried, not sure how to ask what he was wondering…

 

“Yes sir…” The Alpha sighed with a nod, moving to stand inside the room hands behind her back, not looking at him “Was there something you needed?” She asked and he could swear he heard annoyance on her words… 

 

“W-Well… It’s just… you remind me of my little sister” He tried. “You wear your hair the same way she did..” He added lamely

 

“If you don’t like it, I’ll wear it differently”

 

“Oh no! That’s not what i’m saying… it’s nice. I miss her” He lead, secretly hopeful. “Do you have any siblings?”

 

“No.” She said almost too firmly. “Not to mean any disrespect sir, but neither do you” 

 

Matthew blinked, then frowned, a little annoyance of his own brewing “Yes I do! I just told you I did” 

 

“ _Did_ , sir. Omega’s give up their families right?” She insisted, sending a spike through his heart. He was about to send her away, but she continued, her own upset growing “They just disappear after selfish mistakes. It’s like your family is dead and you are dead to them. They didn’t exist. They don’t exist but they did. They did enough to leave an empty room and a grieving father, sir” 

 

Matthew’s eyes widened “M-Michelle?”

 

Now she started yelling, apparently some long held tension she had been holding back snapping for him, a broken flood gate of upset and aggression filling the room and leaving Matthew cowering “They aren’t there any more and they don’t have to watch him fall apart with guilt over a stupid bike! They don’t have to watch him kill himself slowly because he couldn’t keep you safe!” She screamed, so much anger rolling off her, just as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

 

Matthew was shaking and reeling, “Papa is-” but she cut him off continuing.

 

“No, you don’t need foster homes or work because you get to sit around on your mountains of cushions demanding things! you get to be here and be waited on, stalling people or ruining the first good job they’ve been able to get to survive!” 

 

“I d-d-didn't mean… I just… “ Matthew stuttered. All this information hitting him at once tears going down his cheeks a hand on his stomach to protect what was nestled inside. 

 

Michelle was panting but her obvious rage was ebbing, “Either tell them and get me fired… or pretend you don’t know me. It’s the least you could do” She snarled, turning from the room and slamming the door. 

 

Matthew felt blindsided. He’d gone from wondering and hoping to guilt and pain and grief. All in a few quiet minutes every thought he had of his family being happy somewhere crumbled to bits. What had eight year old him done? What had he left in his wake? 

 

Tears filled his eyes, he curled on the chair and sobbed. What had he done?

 

-

 

The rest of Matthew’s day was spent shut in his room numbly, he had his meals brought to him, not that he ate them, and cared of Georgia. All while evaluating his life. Part of him angry to not have said his piece, his suffering. He’d only been eight and he'd been stolen away. The other looking at the little things, like his food being brought and wasted, that he might not have appreciated as much as someone else. 

 

By the afternoon, Matthew was sat on his bed, Georgia playing in a play pen with blocks as he had the few scant parts of his life scattered in front of him. Gilbert, Michelle, His father, even Alfred and a Beta whose face he didn't even know, all suffered because of him. His choice to ride the bike, his idea to run away, his refusal to play nice with Arthur. All of this had lead to someone else’s suffering… and oh god the man who had been driving the car!

 

By the time Alfred walked into the room, probably already confused as Matthew usually met him, the Omega was crying into the Alpha’s childhood jacket, piccolo in front of him. He looked up when the door closed. He was looking unsure and nervous at the sobbing Omega and the spread of everything from Gilbert's notes to Arthur’s letters he’d saved in old book, to sheet music he’d scribbled on. 

 

“Mattie?” He asked taking careful steps as if Matthew was a wounded animal “What’s goin’ on?” Matthew didn’t miss the flash of annoyance in the others blue eyes at Gilbert's writing. 

 

“I M-Messed u-up everything!” He whimpered pathetically “I haven’t d-done anything r-r-right” 

 

Alfred carefully mad his way onto the bed, gathering items and safely moving them, he wrapped arms around Matthew and pulled him close “Hey… you haven’t… “ He comforted but Matthew was having none of that

 

“I have!” he insisted “ Even f-for you! I ruined y-your life j-just like Michelle’s and I k-killed Papa and Gilbert... “ He sobbed loudly, losing control.

 

“Whoa whoa… Mattie. You haven't ruined my life… and Gilbert.. You didn’t force him over that wall” Matthew clung to Alfred and choked out a louder sob, the Alpha holding closer “And who’s Michelle?” 

 

He had intended on keeping Michelle’s secret. Now it spilled forward “Michelle is m-my sister. She’s working here and I killed him. I killed our Papa… b-but you can’t fire her! You can’t tell Arthur cause she needs this! Please Alfred please!” 

 

Alfred looked exactly as you’d expect, completely taken off guard. “I won’t… I won’t say anything you don’t want me too Mattie.. As long as you breath okay?” Matthew was gathered into strong arms and he curled in gratefully as Alfred rocked. 

 

Very gently, Alfred gathered and hide the things off the bed and got Marie to take Georgia for a short time while he wheedled stories out of Matthew. He was holding him through the whole thing, just rocking and soothing. Matthew let go of everything that was making him feel the way he felt, bleeding out upset. Even adding how he felt like a burden doing it. 

 

By the end, the Omega was exhausted. He felt Alfred lay him down, kissing his forehead. “Get some sleep.”

 

Matthew looked up frowning “What about you?” 

 

“I’ll be in soon.. I just need to eat okay?” he said as he smoother hair out of Matthew’s face “I’ll get Georgia on my way back too”

 

Matthew nodded, “Okay.. thank you Alfred” 

 

“Don’t worry about it Mattie. I love you” He placed a kiss on the cleared forehead 

 

“Love you too” Matthew murmured, eyes getting heavier and sleep taking him down.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... hi... 
> 
> first i wanna welcome anyone from FanFiction who was reading this story over there and wants a version that didn't have mature content cut out because someone passive aggressively threatened to report it. Gee... I wonder why i upload more on here... anyway, Welcome. 
> 
> This has taken me forever... and if the end of the chapter is cut a little short, it's because got i did not wanna take a year between updates! 
> 
> okay, so... this past year has been pretty brutal. Anxiety, bipolar, break downs, break throughs, break ups- then get back togethers, sexual orientation questioning, gender transitioning. it's been... interesting and stressful. I've been working on this and I will keep working on it till it's done. but it's been a bit blocked and honestly, I think one of the things blocking my writing all together is that this IS NOT FINISHED YET. it's driving me mad... the one saving grace have been the people who have commented and taken time to check in and make sure I'm doing okay, letting me know they still enjoy the story and such. Thank you all, you were a big help to boost me through getting this down! (though im still weary on if people will enjoy it.. but faith.)
> 
> I have the next chapter laid out. It needs brushing up, finishing and i have a few choices to make about the lay out but... there's only the next chapter and the epilogue (which has been written since chapter 2) left. 
> 
> I hope you can all enjoy this chapter, and thank you so much for not giving up on me. have a good long weekend Lovelies!

Alfred was there when he woke up, holding him close and breathing in soft steady breaths. It soothed him as he pressed his nose against the other's chest, taking in his scent. 

He felt like crap. Between pregnancy and the emotional turmoil he’d put himself under, it wasn’t really shocking. Yet.. through the scent and the residual pain, he felt a sagely calm wash over him. He was stuck in self reflection again, considering and almost obsessing over sorting it out. He was there longer than he’d like to admit before he finally got around to the most dreaded topic that was itching at the back of his oddly rational mind. One that had been popping up more and more often over the last year in terms of feeling guilt… Alfred  
.  
He hadn’t been fair. He knew that. The Alpha gave up a happy future with someone who loved him to keep Matthew safe and, if he was being honest with himself, he didn't even appreciate it really. Just expected it, or even forgot at times. Matthew had hurt a lot of people when he thought back…obviously there was a bigger list of offenses than he'd known about… but Alfred was one he was still hurting in a way, and probably most unfairly. 

okay, definitely unfairly.

The more Matthew thought of it, the more he realized he had so far been treating the other like he was a thing Matthew had to deal with. Instead, He thought with a frown to himself clinging to said alpha, like someone he got the chance to be with. He’d looked at the Alpha’s needs as an annoyance to be ignored and avoided at all costs over this year. Unless, that was, it suited him during heats. Didn’t really consider if there was anything he could do for Alfred beyond acting like a decent person… Which was a really low bar wasn't it?

But, that was kind of… what Omega’s did right? Just existed to have things handed to them while they made babies. Alpha’s were expected to treat them right, but there was no saying they had to be kind about it. A lot could be used outside of the heat room, he’d been warned of this… and it never happened. It made him wonder… what did Alfred want? More than want, what did Alfred deserve? Matthew was… he was a burden in a lot of ways, wasn’t he? Not that Alfred would ever say it! But it was a little true.

It was heavy thinking for an Omega. Not to say they didn't have deep thoughts… just they were never encouraged to think beyond their place in the world. Never given the opportunity to consider how others might suffer. Always doted on and almost pelted with the notion that they were special and valuable. Their whole existence was really very selfish.

Still, It wasn't fair to them to be treated like livestock.

But… not everyone thought of them that way. 

Alfred didn't. 

Matthew looked at the clock, it was the middle of the night. He sighed and settled in. There was nothing he could do now… but maybe during the day… or, he blushed and wiggled down to hide more solidly against the Alpha, the evening? 

_

When Matthew actually woke up he was alone. No Alfred next to him. He sat up, looking around the room panicked before he zeroed in on the other, simply cuddling their daughter in the rocking chair. 

How many Omegas get to see this… he wondered as he watched silently. Would Gilbert have? Would his benefactor been kind and made him happy? They weren't all career breeders like Arthur. The thought made him sad… they were so sure it was the worst thing in the world… in ways it was. In ways it would never be fair or right and there were always Omegas that had it worse, but… If he could have had a choice in his life of the kind of mate he wanted… 

“Morning Mattie” Alfred said with a smile. “Did you sleep well?” 

Matthew offered a smile of his own as his thoughts were cut short and nodded. “I slept okay” he answered softly. “why don't you bring her over here” Matthew asked feeling like he wanted the bed filled again. 

Alfred frowned a little but nodded, standing and bringing their daughter over to simply hand her off “You too. Come sit” Matthew said with a smile as he took his child. Alfred smiled a little more and took the invitation, slipping in beside Matthew, smile growing as the Omega leaned against him. 

“You seem like you’re in a better mood this morning” Alfred pointed out. Matthew just nodded a little. 

“I’m still sad but having my own little family around makes it better” He said softly, brushing blonde waves off Peaches face. 

“Well… You won’t have to feel sad anymore. Or at least, you won’t have to deal with anymore issues. I took care of it” Alfred said holding Matthew around the waist and nuzzling in against his neck with a smile,

The Omega tensed, “You didn’t fire her right?” He insisted, suddenly feeling sight panic rising in his chest. 

“No no!” Alfred assured, pulling back enough to look at him, “I wouldn’t! Calm down Mattie I promised okay?” Alfred soothed, Matthew unwinding a bit, but still waiting to see how ruined his evening plans were going to be… 

“So what did you do?” he inquired cautiously. 

“I just had her transferred to the nursery to do security there. After we talked and agreed it was for the best.” He said with a nod “She was certain I was going to kick her out but… I told her you wouldn’t forgive me if I did” He said with a shrug

Matthew melted back into him, feeling relief. She still had a job and Matthew wouldn’t be haunting her.. Even if he wished he could have his sister back, she was right. He was dead to the family, they hadn’t seen each other in a decade… it was cruel. 

“Thank you Alfie” He said gently, turning his head to nuzzle against the other's neck

“Sure thing Mattie” Alfred said, wiggling a little “That tickles” 

Matthew chuckled, “Sorry” He bit his lip. “ I know uh… this is going to seem odd but is there a way someone can watch Georgia tonight?” Matthew asked, cheeks burning despite his best efforts to not show his embarrassment. 

“ yeah.. I can ask Marie too, why?” 

Matthew chewed his lip, glancing at the sleeping child in his lap then back up to the Alpha. He hid his face against Alfred’s chest, coaching himself through it as he moved a shaking hand to his thigh, face burning as he murmured, “I… I thought we could uh.. Spend time together? ...alone” 

Alfred was silent and suddenly Matthew was hit with the fear of rejection he hadn’t considered. What if Alfred didn’t want him that way after all? What if he was getting _that_ somewhere else? What if he thought Matthew was unattractive with how big he got? What if-

“R-Really? You wanna spend time with just me?” Matthew looked up, seeing Alfred smile unsure, but then watched as the smile spread more “I think that’d be nice Mattie!” He said smiling, Matthew letting out the breath he’d been holding. 

“W-Well I think it would be too” Matthew said in a small shy voice, turning back to lean against Alfred and stroke Peaches hair.

“Yeah we could watch a movie, or play games or something” Alfred said excitedly. 

Matthew’s face fell… He should have known it wasn’t going to be so easy. 

-

After feeding her dinner, Georgia was sent off to spend the evening with Marie. Matthew almost blurted out that he’d changed his mind, nerves building… but with how excited Alfred had been… 

The Alpha had not only completely taken to the idea of a night spending time together, he’d taken over Matthew’s plan. Now they had a mini movie marathon, after a few rounds of pool while they had pizza and ice cream and french fries dipped in maple (No judgments were made on the cravings) 

Even so, between his hormones and basic determination, Matthew wasn’t about to give up his own plans. He had to at least _try_. Even if he had been steam rolled, which was a little irritating. He’d had big romantic plans (sort of) and he wasn’t having them crushed completely! A spark of his teenage rebellion had lit in his chest, and that’s how he’d managed to wind up alone in his room, looking over outfits, that would fit over his expanding form, critically… there was still a real chance of rejection, it was a scary thought for him, but it did drive him to try a little harder.. 

He had been given a certain amount of clothing, and he mostly just wore Pj’s and sweats out of it. The same things over and over… He was so stuck in his normal clothing, what was in front of him was all new. He hummed, and picked up a pair of yoga pants. They would be comfortable, but cling right… right? That’s always what it looked like in the movies or the magazines.. But for a top… He had crop tops to help with heat of the house if he needed, but also completely concealing ones. Flowy tops, and fitting… 

Would Alfred be turned off by his stomach? He was twenty-six weeks along with triplets and that wasn’t exactly small… Should he be wearing some sort of… dress? He looked down and cringed. It would take a mu-mu to cover all this.. But maybe if he showed off some leg… or maybe shoulders? Something that made his mark visible. 

He turned to grab a hair tie, thinking he would show it off more and suddenly froze with a blush, hiding his face and groaning. Did he honestly just consider how to turn on an Alpha? His inner teenager was crying in shame. All that time spent locked away in the heat room screaming only to end up here... 

_Keep it together Matthew,_ He coached himself, shaking it out and grabbing the hair tie, throwing his hair up into a messy bun, _that is the name of the game tonight right? Besides, it’s Alfred, not just some bone headed Alpha._ He looked over the options again and again… until he dropped to his butt on the bed, head in his hands. 

He hadn’t wanted to have to dress to impress anyone again… last time had been for- He cringed, dipping his head down further. The thought of Alfred’s face contorting in approval like Arthur’s… the impressed and soothing words… Alfred’s hands touching him in that way. He fisted his hair and gritted his teeth, fighting back the sting in his eyes and the choking feeling in his throat. 

He was so caught up in the past, in feeling what he felt, he didn’t notice the door opening or the scent. It wasn’t until a hand landed on his shoulder that he notice and flinched away, swinging and hitting the person who touched him in the chest. 

“Ah! Mattie?” Matthew looked up at Alfred and went bright red as he watched the other rub the spot he’d smacked “Are you okay?” He asked, a look of concern as he looked the other over, but didn’t move to touch him. 

Matthew looked at him for a second, brain looking for bits of Arthur in there somewhere, but all he saw was Alfred, all he smelled was Alfred… He took a shaking breath and smiled shakily “Yes. I’m fine. Sorry.” He cringed “I w-was lost in thought and… you’re okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine” He offered a cautious grin “I don’t think you can break me that easy.” 

Matthew nodded “Right… yeah… still sorry” He said nervously. 

“Mattie it’s fine” He said with an eye roll. “Are you almost ready to get things started?” 

Matthew’s heart dropped. Right here? Right now? ALREADY?! That’s when he remembered, Alfred wasn’t exactly aware of his plans and he felt fairly stupid. “Yeah.. uh…” He looked down at the fitted, but long top he’d been trying on “I guess I am” He said smiling up. 

Alfred smiled then gave a questioning look at the bed and all the clothes, “... you sure?” 

Matthew blushed, “It’s just been harder to find something comfortable…” He explained quickly, “and…” he dropped his head, swallowing back his pride and murmuring “I wanted to look nice… f-for you” 

Silence.

Matthew peaked up, and couldn’t fight back a small smile at exactly how red Alfred had gone. Well… he wasn’t losing yet. 

The evening progressed and it was all going… fairly pg. 

Matthew was getting discouraged fast. 

Alfred had been polite, talked softer, given him his space… basically had not been himself at all. Matthew initiated every touch, he was the one scooting closer, practically crawling into Alfred’s damn lap and he was getting nothing but discomfort. 

By the end of the second movie he’d given up. Obviously, Alfred wasn’t attracted to all this. He'd missed the boat and now he was just going to have to wait until he wasn't pregnant and hope for the best. God he felt horrible now.. this was a bad idea.

“You okay Mattie? Getting tired?” Alfred asked as he switched off the movie, all smiles melting into concern at what Matthew assumed was a sour look on his own face. 

Matthew looked over and sighed “Yeah… I g-guess..” he said shakily, tightness returning to his throat, stinging in his eyes... Oh… oh no… don’t do this… he pleaded silently as his hormones suddenly surged in response to being directly questioned. He had to get away. He turned his head and went to push off of the couch, someone upstairs hearing his desperate pleading even let him get up on his own in one shot, but… 

“...Mattie? Are you okay?” 

“I-I’m f-fine” He answered, voice thick with upset and choking. Dammit all. You didn’t want him to be attracted to you two months ago! Why is it suddenly upsetting!?

“No, No you’re not. What’s wrong? Did I do something? Was it the movie?” he asked and Matthew turned and looked at him, questioning his intelligence. It hadn’t been an even mildly possibly upsetting film. It was a comedy! 

“No!” He snapped, another surge “It’s fine. It’s nothing!” He insisted, scowling and turning to walk away already screaming at himself for this being the opposite of what he’d intended. 

“Come on! Obviously it’s something!” Alfred pushed, and oh god Matthew wished he would just give up for once. “Just tell me and I’ll fix it!” 

“That’s the problem!” Matthew snapped, losing it. 

“Huh…?” 

“You’re always fixing everything and just worrying and all that and I thought-!” He paused and went red, “Just-Never mind!”

It took a minute, in fact Matthew made it into the hall before Alfred seemed to snap out of his shock and follow “W-wait! You can’t just leave me hanging like that!” He insisted hurrying to catch up (not a hard task, all things considered), getting in front of Matthew and stopping him with two gentle hands on his shoulders. “Tell me. I’m not gonna be mad, it can’t be that bad-”

“You don’t want me!” Matthew forced out looking at the ground. 

Quiet again, then, “Huh?! How did you get that impression? In the like what, almost two years you’ve been here I’ve never said i didn’t want you around-” 

Matthew cut him off with a frustrated sound. Then in a very non-Omega move, he moved forward, Alfred only managing an alarmed half step back before Matthew threw his arms around Alfred’s neck, forcing their mouths together, glasses clinking softly as he attacked. Arms wrapped around him quickly, catching them both and Alfred stumbled back into the wall in shock. It took a moment before he was returning the kiss in a frantic, awkward way, even squeaking in an unalpha way as Matthew’s knee pressed between his legs. 

all the while the voice of reason in Matthew's head was screaming at what he was doing. But, he ignored it in favour of holding closer. 

Matthew pulled back after he felt he got his point across, panting and red faced, looking up with a slight scowl “I meant like that. You don’t want me like that” He insisted then went to pull away completely out of Alfred’s arms. Ready to go lick his wounds… until he was pulled back, serious, but hesitant, eyes looking into his. 

“You want… sex?” There was an eyebrow raise, as if Alfred didn’t believe what he was saying, Matthew looked down. “...and you think I don’t…” He said slowly connecting it… then he laughed. Matthew flinched, ducking his head more, than he felt Alfred nuzzle against his hair “Mattie… course I.. uh… want you. But you’ve made it pretty clear up till now you weren’t _interested_ so I was just… tryin to give you space.” 

Matthew blushed more. Oh… well now he heard it, it was fairly obvious… He’d hidden in a bathroom and refused to come out when he caught Alfred… pleasuring himself. Why wouldn’t he think that? “I… I guess that makes sense…” He said in a small voice. 

“Do you still want to?” Alfred asked, voice a little lower but oh so eager, making Matthew shiver. He was nervous… so all he could do was give a small, stiff nod, hiding against the other. 

He was scooped up very quickly after that, like he weighed nothing, and carried off back towards what may as well be considered their room by now. “I’ll be right back okay?” Alfred promised kissing Matthew’s forehead as he placed him gently on the bed “ I just gotta grab something first” Again, Matthew nodded and watched as he left the room. 

Well now he was left to panic. Did he… take off his clothing? Or leave it for Alfred? Oh god he was going to see him naked when Matthew was fully present! 

Matthew sat on the edge of the bed, hands laced through his hair as he tried to teach himself to breath again. It was no big deal! He'd done this before during heat! And… it couldn’t be all bad if his body was craving it like this. 

Alfred reappeared sooner rather than later, his windswept hair giving away the fact that he'd probably sprinted there and back. In his hand, a small bottle of something clear. Matthew swallowed heavily. Right, he wouldn’t be producing slick since he was already pregnant. 

He’d read about this in the books. S-Sex outside a heat was normal… it was suppose to be a bonding thing? Though some books argued it was simply for the Alpha’s pleasure and he’d always sided with those. Distrusting the rose coloured glasses he’d been raised looking through. 

Yet here he was, Alfred moving forwards towards him cautiously, a kind smile playing on his lips as he got close enough to place a hand on Matthew’s jaw, the other falling to his hip. “You sure?” The alpha double checked, looking into what must have been very nervous looking eyes. 

Matthew mauled that question over, but he didn’t need to take long. Alfred’s hand were gentle on him, and behind the kindness he could feel a level of want that he wasn’t completely objecting to in his current hormonal state… He raised a hand, covering Alfred’s and nodded with a nervous smile, thankful the other didn’t push further, catching his mouth in a kiss instead. 

All in all Matthew was unprepared for how fast it all went, yet how slow it seemed… before he knew it they were both stripped, on the bed with Alfred’s hands trailing down his back. Yet he clearly remembered taking his time once that first piece of clothing, Alfred’s shirt, had fallen to the ground. He’d traced the others torso with his fingers, exploring bumps and curves of muscles, a deep instinctual part of him moaning at the feel of a prime mate… 

Now the moaning and whining was a little louder… Alfred’s tongue was swiping over his hip bone making him shudder and writhe. Fingers weren’t even making him nervous as they traced down over the scar and towards his entrance. 

“Are you ready?” Alfred asked, warm breath teasing over Matthew’s lower half. 

“Yes, please please~” He begged, a little nervousness bubbling as he felt slicked fingers brush over him, but that was forgotten as the tongue made contact with his cock and he keened. 

In hindsight it might have been embarrassing how much of a fuss he was making, especially the toe curling gasp he let out when he was finally penetrated by careful fingers. Though, that didn't measure up to the outright wide eyed cry when said fingers found his slicking gland. 

How was he already a mess? How had he not been doing this already? 

“Alfred _please_ ” he begged breathily. He could smell the others musk, it was making his head cloudy. Not as much as a heat would, but this was better, he wasn’t in pain for it… he just really _wanted_ it. 

The Alpha chuckled “Alright…” He purred pulling away. The opposite of what Matthew wanted. A fact he must have realized when he was given the confused, desperate look and whine. 

“Jeez Mattie…” He said, huskey voice giving away his own state “If i knew you wanted it this bad….” Matthew blushed and hid his face, but Alfred merely moved to kiss and lick over his claim mark, melting the Omega further, “I need you on your hands and knees… I…. we have a big obstacle?” he murmured gently against the mark, a hand brushing over Matthew’s bump. 

The Omega blushed further, but nodded.”okay…” he said quietly. His nerved came back as Alfred helped him to adjust to his hands and knees, pillows under his chest for extra support. 

“You need to relax…” purred Alfred, hands running along, rubbing his back and sides, trying to ease out the tension Matthew hadn’t noticed. He nodded, but it wasn’t working very well.. He’d just had fingers up there and it felt great! This… this should be fine… even if it was bigger- 

“oh god!” Matthew gasped, hands gripping the sheets tighter and face blaring full on red as he moaned loudly, a tongue probing him from behind. “Al-Alfred~!” It was shocking. Not something he ever expected to feel, but not something he was really complaining about… 

the tension faded away fast under the alphas actions and the want came back. His head was spinning by the time Alfred pulled back. Matthew was begging wordlessly at this point. A shaking, whimpering, moaning mess as Alfred slipping into him slowly from behind, hands gentle on Matthew’s hips. If anything too slow, too gentle… an issue Matthew opted to fix himself. 

The omega’s gasp was over shadowed by Alfred's when Matthew bucked back, sliding Alfred in to the hilt quickly “Al~!!” he moaned, loving how fingers dug in. Why had he been terrified of this?! 

“Jesus Matt.” he growled, cut off from whatever he was going to say next as Matthew wiggled his hips. “ah-!”

the omega looked over his shoulder, blushing and worried. Did Alfred not like It- “Alfred!” he cried arching his back as Alfred pulled back and slammed forward with a possessive growl. 

Matthew never thought he would like that so much… but he soon learned he really did. Maybe he wouldn't have with an alpha like Arthur. Maybe it was just because he was respected most the time. Maybe it was the hormones. 

Or maybe it was just Alfred. 

The sounds carried through the room and hall that night as they continued until neither party could move. Wrapped in one another in the peace that felt surreal to Matthew after everything he’d been through. 

Maybe… maybe this was his fairy tale. Maybe some people did get a happily ever after. Maybe. 

Or maybe not.


End file.
